The Bowler and Benny

The Film-Box

2011-01-29T12:26:00.000-08:00

We have moved onto a new movie blog called:

Come check us out.

-Dirty, Benny and AK

You better replace the pin, Chi Chi. The natives look restless.

2009-01-10T09:33:00.001-08:00

BOWLER: 5 points (65 possible points)
BENNY: 5 points (30 possible points)
DIRTY: 5 points (60 possible points)

It’s a dead heat after one round. The story of the Wildcard weekend was the Indianapolis Colts who lost in overtime to an LDT-less (basically) San Diego Chargers squad. While I agree that the NFL needs to overhaul their overtime protocol, I’m still wondering how it ever got to free football in the first place. Did Sproles and Rivers play out of their mind? Did Peyton and Dungy show their true colors and overachieve in 2006? I’ve heard a lot of buzz about how San Diego is now the real deal and Roethlisberger is shaky after that concussion. However, I see things differently. I believe there is a reason they were 4-8 at one point this season. More to the point, I think Mike Tomlin’s defense baffles the Chargers, at home, below freezing in the snow. I see no sleeper potential here, it’s the end of the line.

Before we move on, I just want to console the Atlanta and Miami fanbases. What a wild, exhilarating ride. It reminds me of the 2001 Bears. You’ve just been given a whiff of success after five years of futility. This is what you’ve asked for, a glimmer of hope only to end with a one-and-done. If we break this down, these unexpected surges into the playoffs are built very precariously. The Dolphins employed a wildcat offense that was somewhat gimmicky. The Ravens exploited this scheme by stacking the box with five linebackers to plug up all the gaps. The Falcons got tremendous efforts from a rookie quarterback and a long time understudy, first time start at running back. Much like the adaptation to the wildcat, I see the league adjusting to Atlanta and a resultant regression to the mean.

Saturday: Baltimore at Tennessee

This is all about who protects the ball. Joe Flacco and Kerry Collins aren’t a great matchup, but the real show will be on the defensive side. Baltimore 17, Tennessee 13.

Saturday: Arizona at Carolina

With Boldin out, the Panthers double-team Fitzgerald and overwhelm them on the ground. This will be over before the 4th quarter. Carolina 38, Arizona 14.

Sunday: Philadelphia at New York Giants

Easily the best game of the weekend. I’ve already picked the Giants to move on, but I’m not as confident in them as I was earlier in the season. Giants 31, Eagles 27.

Sunday: San Diego at Pittsburgh

As I wrote above, this will be an exercise in smash mouth football. It will be heavy on controlling the clock and low on points. Pittsburgh 24, San Diego 10.

Ok, I gotta run. Liverpool/Stoke City is underway. Come on you Reds (or Teals?)!

NFL Playoffs Picks

2009-01-03T14:04:00.000-08:00

I'm just posting our picks now, I will update after each round with updated standings and some impressions of the games gone by. Points will go as follows: Wild Card Winner +2.5 points, Divisional Winner +5 points, Conference Championship Winner +10 points, Superbowl Winner +20 points. Mahalo.

BOWLER'S PICKS
NFC:
Wild Card Round
Cardinals over Falcons
Vikings over Eagles
Divisional Round
Giants over Cardinals
Panthers over Vikings
Conference Championship
Panthers over Giants

AFC:
Wild Card Round
Colts over Chargers
Ravens over Dolphins
Divisional Round
Ravens over Titans
Steelers over Colts
Conference Championship
Steelers over Ravens

SUPERBOWL XLIII:
Panthers over Steelers

BENNY'S PICKS
NFC:
Wild Card Round
Falcons over Cardinals
Eagles over Vikings
Divisional Round
Eagles over Giants
Panthers over Falcons
Conference Championship
Panthers over Eagles

AFC:
Wild Card Round
Colts over Chargers
Ravens over Dolphins
Divisional Round
Titans over Ravens
Colts over Steelers
Conference Championship
Colts over Titans

SUPERBOWL XLIII:
Colts over Panthers

DIRTY'S PICKS
NFC:
Wild Card Round
Cardinals over Falcons
Eagles over Vikings
Divisional Round
Giants over Eagles
Panthers over Cardinals
Conference Championship
Giants over Panthers

AFC:
Wild Card Round
Colts over Chargers
Dolphins over Ravens
Divisional Round
Colts over Titans
Steelers over Dolphins
Conference Championship
Steelers over Colts

SUPERBOWL XLIII:
Steelers over Giants

The Best of Bowler & Benny: The 2008 Edition

2008-12-26T17:08:00.000-08:00

It seems like every December we all subconsciously (or perhaps semiconsciously) slip into a deeper state of self-inquiry. We examine the changes we’ve undergone in the past twelve months, attempt to extract some significance from those observations and then hopefully act on these newly actualized precepts... but in the end, we're more likely to simply eat too much, drink the drinks of the season and wait for the standard “best of the year” lists to roll in.

This has been a solid sophomore campaign for the Bowler & Benny. We’ve added Kurt Dirty, the resident tea sipper extraordinaire. His insights on The Beautiful Game have added a certain sophistication to this space and his contributions are immeasurable. As far as sport, we have been afforded probably the most memorable year in recent memory. The Giants over the Patriots in an epic Superbowl. The Final Four populated by four #1 seeds. Manchester United and Chelsea in an All-EPL Champions League Final. The Lakers/Celtics rivalry renewed. Tiger Woods at his career defining best. The Tampa Bay Rays improbable run. And of course, the 2008 Detroit Lions in all their glory.

Now, I understand that we took a 4-month break between July and November so that takes the luster off the breadth of our 2008 coverage. But really, we got busy. Ben is double dipping with school and work, Dirty is engaged and I’m… well, I’m just lazy. The Cubs and Brewers broke our hearts and Brett Favre made Ben’s ability to do anything beyond chew food and swallow a difficult task (read: limited bathing). Despite this seeming let down, we managed to churn out 46 posts. We’ll take it.

To any new readers, please become a Bowler & Benny supporter by clicking on the link to the right. It would be greatly appreciated.

10.Sean Singletary's Legacy
Monday, March 10, 2008

It’s been a tough se ason for Mr. Singletary. He was drafted by the Sacramento Kings as the 42nd overall pick and played some impressive summer league minutes (an oxymoron to be sure). Just as he was getting settled, he was traded to Houston on the eve of the season only to be traded a day later to Phoenix. Due to some early injuries to Leandro Barbosa, Singletary got some playing time for about a week in November with a couple serviceable outings. In the past two weeks, he was again traded to Charlotte (on his fourth team before logging his 126th minute of NBA floor time). It’s too early to say anything, after all, there is a precedent of standout Virginia guards taking some time to blossom at the professional ranks. In the end, I know #44 has got the chops to make it if he lands in the right system with the right coach.

9.The Descent of Man
Thursday, January 17, 2008

I love January because even if your boyhood football team hasn’t played a meaningful game in weeks, as a fan you are provided 11 highly pressurized, astutely played, reputation defining playoff games. A token from the football gods for your dutiful commitment to America’s game. However, if you are fortunate enough to have your team still playing, nothing is more important. MLB playoff series are twisting sagas, the NBA playoffs are not exciting until deciding games, but each 60 minute parcel of NFL drama is unmatched. Although the Packers came up short in overtime and Ben’s world has been turned upside down (NFL-wise), his honest hope and raw anxiety still are representations of what January is all about.

8.Tiggy Woo: Movement 2: Adagio
Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Although written 4 ½ months before his historic U.S. Open run, Dirty nails all the reasons why Tiger Woods is entering a truly remarkable period of his career. Some have said that he did “irrevocable damage” to his knee with that gutsy performance at Torrey Pines, however that simply remains to be seen. Although the U.S. triumphed in the Ryder Cup this September without his services causing a slew of idiotic headlines, his legend continues to loom large. His absence from the spotlight is still front page news and our only recourse as golf fans starved for greatness is to crack a beer and let’er rip. In the end, another great post by Mr. Bauer.

7.Dissecting the Evil Empire
Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Due to the misadventures of Charlie Weis and Hank Steinbrenner the Evil Empire has temporarily relocated to Boston. Yep, I’m pretty sure on that one.

6.Every time I meet a new person, I figure out how I'm gonna fight 'em - you have a gimpy left knee, right?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
and
Retrospecticus
Monday, June 2, 2008

I haven't lived in Chicago or frequented the Ginger's Ale House with Kurt Dirty in almost a year. My knowledge and participation in the Reds have suffered drastically, but I still manage to watch every odd Saturday morning on FSC or midweek on ESPN for Champions League action. Here are two bookends, a midseason report and a post season summary of the Liverpool F.C. season by Dirty McLiverbird. I can garuntee that there are fewer knowledgable writers on the subject of their side than Mr. Bauer, a treat even for the non-footy fans.

5.Your 2008 Bracket and the 2007 NCAA Tournament
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
and
Not so Crazy (Elite) Eight
Monday, March 17, 2008

I love when Ben goes Moneyball on us. Enjoy these illuminating posts written on the eve and at the midpoint of March Madness. They will tickle your mind grapes.

4.Cubs v. Brewers - A Running Diary
Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Running Diary is probably my favorite Bill Simmons style of writing. The form is short, largely observational and stylistically open-ended. I find that exploring tangents are the most rewarding aspects of pieces like these. If the Bears somehow sneak by the Vikings and take the NFC North, you can bet that I will commandeer the bourbon and fire up the laptop for another edition. Like splitting aces.

3.A Ridiculous Assumption
Thursday, July 10, 2008

Is it REALLY that ridiculous?

2.The Equivalents
Saturday, February 23, 2008

This is probably my best idea all year, although that’s like picking my favorite Kyle Orton scramble this year. I believe this post will hold up, but my favorite remains the Ice Cube/George Forman comparison.

1.Everything I know about football is wrong
Sunday, February 3, 2008

When you don’t have a horse in the running, sometimes those are the most memorable races. Most recently, the 2004 Red Sox, the 2006 Cleveland Cavaliers over the Detroit Pistons and now, the 2008 New York Giants. I remember driving home the morning after, stunned. The hour-long trip from Richmond to Charlottesville after 3 hours of sleep on my buddy David’s couch, glued to Sportstalk radio, unable to process what it all meant. I got home, fired up the computer and read Ben’s post. An astonishing mile marker in the NFL landscape...
Beautifully.
Fucking.
Illustrated.

The Quandary of the Sports Jersey

2008-12-04T04:07:00.000-08:00

I’ve always been wary of being “that jersey guy” and I believe that trepidation all started on a fateful August afternoon in 1996.

I was born in Chicago, moved to San Francisco in 1991 while in the 4th grade and then moved back to Chicago for high school. While in the Bay Area, I held firm to my Chicago sports allegiances, however to fit in I casually rooted for the 49ers and Warriors when they made their playoff runs. I could never root for the Giants though because Will Clark and Kevin Mitchell ruined my Cub-loving world in the 1989 NLCS. Anyway, once I returned to Chicago as a fourteen-year-old boy ready to re-embrace his sports Mecca, I decided it was time to choose a sports jersey. The Bulls were beginning their second arc as a dynasty, but getting a MJ or Pippen jersey seemed too easy. I could have gone with Paxson or Grant, but they were both gone and I wanted something current. Looking back on things, this would have been a perfect time to get a Ryne Sandberg jersey to commemorate my favorite Cubbie ever. But then again, Ryno was retiring in less than a year and my fickle freshman high school brain wanted something current and hip, not nostalgic and dated. I arrived at a Bears jersey #31, tailback and Heisman trophy winner, Rashaan Salaam. Before you begin to laugh, remember that he had a bright future in front of him going into his sophomore NFL campaign. He became the 4th player in collegiate history to rush for over 2,000 yards in a season and stacked up 1,074 yards and 10 TDs in his rookie year with the Bears. Unfortunately, the jersey became unwearable 18 months later and only made it out of my closet when I hit college and could pull it off as an ironic piece of Chicago flair. I wrote this about it in my 2006 MNF post:

It still makes me proud to wear this thing, one of the biggest busts in Bears history which was all the more troubling because he showed so much promise with that 1,000 yard rushing rookie season. And then the fumbling began, and then the leg injury came, and then during a rehab stint he picked up a drug problem and then he faded into oblivion. The thing that kills me is that he won a Heisman Trophy and demonstrated that he was built to play on Sunday with the big boys. He had the tools to be the next Neal Anderson, but the drugs proved too tough to beat, but I'm not talking about painkillers or cocaine... No, he's a pothead. He's Ricky Williams Light. He should be in those drug awareness commercials instead of stoned teenagers in a drive-thru running over little girls on bikes. Rashaan bounced around in the NFL for a few years, tried the XFL and retired. Bottomline, I wear this jersey because I want that reaction from people. I want them to look and me and shake their heads and say, "Why?"

And I'll make a grand turn to them, look them square in the eyes, pause for effect, and say, "Why, indeed. Why...indeed."

I thought I learned a valuable lesson from that jersey, but indeed I had not. The summer of 2003 came and I was in New York working as a runner for a brokerage firm. I loved my three months in NYC, but I missed out on being in Chicago as the Cubbies made their first playoff run since 1998. My buddy Grant and I would watch every game we could, constantly check the gamecasts and scour the web for any recollections of the games we missed. This summer away from Chicago, huddled with Grant in our NYU dorm listening to Ron Santo made me care so much more than I ever had before. We were to Chicago boys set adrift in New York trying to work, eat, sleep, drink and sightsee… but all we wanted to do was watch the Cubs. This was the year of Prior and Wood, Aramis and Sosa. There was also a young upstart who carried us in the first half before breaking his leg at the All-Star break and being lost for the season. His name was Corey Patterson.

I came back to Chicago for two weeks before heading back for my 4th year at UVa. I caught two games at Wrigley and decided it was time for my second jersey. Almost seven years to the day of the Rashaan Salaam selection, I slipped on a home white C. Pat jersey and was ecstatic with my choice. Our highly touted centerfielder of the future had the following stat line in 2003:

329 AB, 98 H, 14 HR, 16 SB, .298 AVG

In retrospect, I should have been more suspicious of his SO/BB ratio of 5.1 but I didn’t read Moneyball until January 2004 so the cruel fates conspired. Okay, so a young fan is 0/2 on his sport jerseys because he wants to be unique. He wants to claim “his guy”. It’s understandable.

But here’s the thing, in the past two years I’ve bought a Derrick Lee and a Devin Hester. They are unlike my previous selections because they are known quantities. Hester in 2006 and Lee in 2005 are two of my all-time favorite Chicago sport seasons. It probably goes like this:

1. Michael Jordan 1992-93
2. Sammy Sosa 1998
3. Ryne Sandberg 1990
4. Devin Hester 2006-07
5. Michael Jordan 1995-96
6. Chicago Bears Defense 2006-07
7. Derrick Lee 2005
8. Chicago Bears Defense 2001-02
9. Scottie Pippen 1994-95
10. Michael Jordan 1988-89

I remember sitting in BW-3 with Benny and Jean during Week 9 and seeing different Bears jerseys trickle in. Urlacher, Kreutz, Hester… to which Ben offhandedly quipped, “I don’t get it. The whole Hester phenomenon.” Granted, he’s a miserable Packers fan, but still his comment resonated with me. If you get a player you identify with but isn’t a top three guy on your team, he can be traded, fall into a deep slump or lose his job. Then the jersey is a point of mockery. If you select a household name then you are judged as a lemming, someone incapable of diverging with the herd. It’s a minor quandary in the scheme of things, but as far as gameday attire goes, there is no more important question.

I’ve learned my lesson. From now on, I’m getting throwbacks and classics and I’m starting with Ryno and Singletary. The names that launched a lifelong love affair with sports. Amazingly enough, it only took me 12 years to figure this out.

When Baseball Predictions Go Horribly, Horribly Wrong

2008-11-19T20:07:00.000-08:00

NL EAST
Benny: NY Mets
Bowler: NY Mets
Dirty: Phillies

I mean honestly, who could have predicted another Mets collapse? I’ll admit, the Marlins looked like a darkhorse for a while and Atlanta was hovering around .500 at the All-Star break, but it was always going to be a Phillies/Mets slugfest. There were two things that Benny and I didn’t account for: The Brad Lidge resurgence and the Luis Ayala/Aaron Heilman/Pedro Feliciano backup plan for Billy Wagner. Dirty, just a fantastic job backing into that one.

NL CENTRAL
Benny: Brewers
Bowler: Cubbies
Dirty: Cubbies

I say this is essentially a draw since these shameless homer picks all made the playoffs (for what amounted to a cigarette, a blindfold and a swift deliberation by the jury). Kudos goes to Ben for peeing his pants in his living room the instant the Brewers clinched. Who needs a tub after all? However, since the pain is still fresh, I’m simply moving on.

NL WEST
Benny: Padres
Bowler: Diamondbacks
Dirty: Padres

I’m going to give myself the slight tip of the cap on this one since my pick finished two games back of the Dodgers while the Padres finished with the 3rd worst record in the Majors. I understand their pitching looked promising with Peavy and Young, but when you only have three players with over 100 hits it’s a little difficult to contend even in the worst division in baseball.

NL WILDCARD
Benny: Diamondbacks
Bowler: Dodgers
Dirty: Brewers

Dirty nails the Trifecta with this one. Phils, Cubs, Brewers. Very impressive. I feel by taking the Dodgers that at least earns me a “Place” and Benny rounds out the field with a “Show”. The National League, THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!! ANY WE LET ‘EM OFF THE HOOK!!!

AL EAST
Benny: NYY
Bowler: NYY
Dirty: BOS

I was under the impression that this was a coin flip scenario. However, this year we got a wiseguy with one of those novelty coins that lands vertically on its ridges. But hey, Dickie V got some PT early repping his band of Diaper Dandies while 800 commentators used the phrase “Most people don’t know Joe Maddon from John Madden” all the while thinking they were original and hilarious. Goooooooood times.

AL CENTRAL
Benny: Cleveland Indians
Bowler: Detroit Tigers
Dirty: Detroit Tigers

I’m still trying to figure out what happened here. I mean, it was the White Sox and Twins from late April on. On paper the Tigers line-up looked beastly (and when you crunch the numbers, they were) but it was the pitching that lead them astray. I have a feeling this had something to do with such a disappointing season: Kenny Rogers – (173.2 IP, 4.25 K/9, 5.70 ERA) and Nate Robertson – (168.2 IP, 5.76 K/9, 6.35 ERA). When those guys are pitching 24% of your innings for an entire season, 74 wins is actually rather remarkable. Benny gets the nod because the Indians rallied back to a .500 record, but in the end, we’re all losers.

AL WEST
Benny: LAA
Bowler: LAA
Dirty: Seattle Mariners

Don’t worry about it Dirty, people miss layups all the time.

AL WILD CARD
Benny: Detroit Tigers
Bowler: Boston Red Sox
Dirty: LAA

I want to take this opportunity to praise the Tampa Bay Rays some more. I’m physically peaking at the idea of Hank Steinbrenner glowering like Pa-Pa and dutifully running the Yankees into the ground. I’m cautiously optimistic that the BoSox are growing older, losing stars and returning back to earth. While I know it’s only one year, the potential for an earth altering shift in the Yank-Saux universe is exactly what we all need. Mark it, dude.

NL ROY
Benny: Kosuke Fukudome
Bowler: Kosuke Fukudome
Dirty: Kosuke Fukudome
Actual winner: Geovany “mah-fuckin” Soto

I wrote some glowing words about Fukudome early in the 2008 season, but I believe the combination of superior MLB pitching, season length and overall fatigue conspired against the former Chunichi Dragon. His splits read like an M. Night Shyamalan movie - a promising beginning which bleeds into a crappy second act and culminates with a predictably pathetic final ten minutes (1-10, 4K in the NLDS). I have no idea what 2009 has in store for Fukudome-san. Oh, but Geo was a no brainer. He reminds me of Jojo Jacobitz from my little league days. I’m assuming only one or two people get that reference, but trust me, it’s a good thing.

NL MVP
Benny: Ryan Braun
Bowler: David Wright
Dirty: Alfonso Soriano
Actual winner: Albert Pujols

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that Ryan Howard willed his team into the playoffs in September with the lumber. I understand he made their run possible due in large part to the threat of his game-changing swing. But people, 199 strikeouts for an MVP? Besides, Pujols deserves a second MVP since Barry Bonds probably heisted one during “The Juice Years”. Oh, and there’s this:

RYAN HOWARD (based on 691 plate appearances)
29% strikeout
12% walk
7% homerun
OPS .882

ALBERT PUJOLS (based on 628 plate appearances)
9% strikeout
17% walk
6% homerun
OPS 1.114

NL CY YOUNG
Benny: Johan Santana
Bowler: Johan Santana
Dirty: Ben Sheets
Actual winner: Tim Lincecum

Hey Dirty, did you REALLY think Ben Sheets was making the leap? Kerry Wood and Ben Sheets get together in the off season, shoot regional Icy Hot commercials and compare 11-12 records.

NL COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR
Benny: Eric Gagne
Bowler: Chris Carpenter
Dirty: Andruw Jones
Actual winner: Brad Lidge

The pitcher pauses, kicks and delivers. SA-WING and A MISS. It looked like the batter was looking for a first pitch fastball but got nothing but the circle change. (Gagne)

The batter digs in, awaiting the second pitch. The pitcher deals a 12-6 curveball right down the pipe, CALLED STRIKE TWO. The bat never left his shoulder! He played the guessing game and got burnt. (Jones)

The batter has dug himself an 0-2 count. The pitcher nods, collects himself and – WHAT?!? The batter is now sitting crosslegged in the batters box! It’s appears as if he’s dousing himself in some sort of clear liquid from a squeeze bottle and is now fishing some tiny metallic instrument out of his back pocket! HE’S JUST- YES! HE’S NOW BURST INTO FLAMES!!! OH THE HUMANITY! (Carpenter)

AL ROY
Benny: Kurt Suzuki
Bowler: Evan Longoria
Dirty: Ian Kennedy
Actual winner: Evan Longoria

“It’s not so much me as it’s Longoria, HE’s good”

AL MVP
Benny: Alex Rodriguez
Bowler: Vladimir Guerrero
Dirty: Magglio Ordonez
Actual winner: Dustin Pedroia

I don’t have really anything to say about Pedroia. I’m kinda running out of steam here. It’s late and the Bulls are down 34-13 to the Blazers and we look like a lottery team. Greg Oden is making our “big men” look like J.V. underachievers. Steve Blake must have gotten pissed at me posting his missed bunny and now he’s lighting us up. Time for some sleep, thanks for coming out…

AL CY YOUNG
Benny: Justin Verlander
Bowler: John Lackey
Dirty: Justin Verlander

AL COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR
Benny: Jose Giullen
Bowler: Francisco Liriano
Dirty: Cliff Floyd

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR AL CY YOUNG AND COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR…. MR. CLIFF LEE

lest you thought i didn't have any emotions regarding brett favre...

2008-07-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

this is an out-of-context e-mail response to my dad and his wisconsinite friend about the recent developments. it's the best i can do presently. this whole deal makes me sick to my stomach. *turns to hit 'play' button to resume listening to "Superstar" as sung by Bette Midler while forlornly sitting in a bubble bath with a bloody mary and surrounded by lit candles scented like apples and clean linen*

"where there's smoke, there's fire but we can never know what transpired behind closed doors. suffice it to say that both brett and management have erred in judgment privately and publicly and as a result the unthinkable has happened and has been allowed to continue to happen.

it's no time for thompson to engage in a battle of ego here. what is best for the packers is brett as quarterback. there are 25 other teams in the league who would kill for a quarterback of his caliber. it defies all logic to choose aaron, who has thrown 59 passes IN HIS CAREER, over brett, who at 38 played one of his best ever seasons. aaron's had 4 months of offseason preparation and game planning. who the fuck cares? with brett favre the packers are the favorite to represent the nfc in the super bowl. without him, they're a question mark. brett has pride, sure. he's been unclear and secretive and combative and all-in-all noncommital as to what he's wanted to do until now. i'll forgive him all that. not because of what he's done on the field, but because he's human. he's a football player and he's the best at what he does. he's not paid to be a fucking diplomat.

thompson, as a general manager, cannot and should not win the battle of pride here. that's not his job. his job is to help the packers win the super bowl. the right thing for the packers is to bring brett back with open arms, forgive him his recent uncertainty and statements, and move on. if aaron is upset, trade HIM. they'll get better value dollar for dollar than they would for brett. and if brett rides off into the sunset (again) next year, there's always brian brohm."

The case for the Brewers...

2008-07-19T08:42:00.001-07:00

Brewers post-All Star break record: 1-0

Cubs post-All Star break record: 0-1

Convincing argument, right?

The Bowler and I can agree that we haven’t mutually anticipated the dog days this much since we’ve known each other. Though the 2007 campaign remained in doubt until the last series of the season, as early as Independence Day, it was all too apparent that we were supporting teams headed in opposite directions.

This year has far different feel to it. After an uncharacteristically slow start, the Crew are 12 games over .500 since losing 6 straight games to begin May. Over the same period of time, the Cubbies have played even better at 14 games over .500. With 76 games remaining, both teams have demonstrated consistency and begin the home stretch playing well enough to be considered pennant frontrunners in the National League. The recent trades for Sabathia and Harden only served to raise the intensity and drama of the chase. The watches and car keys are in the pot and both teams believe they possess the better hand.

Of course, the Cubs currently have the advantage, not only in their 4-game lead in the standings, but in the way that they have hit and pitched thus far. The Brewers’ sometimes baffling inability to get on base and their misadventures in the field and bullpen continue to try my patience and are a little too reminiscent of last year’s historical collapse. Given the present state of affairs, it is unlikely that the Brewers will be able to catch the Cubs before the end of the regular season.

As of today, playoff projections indicate that the probability is that the Cubs will win the NL Central outright and that the Brewers have the best likelihood of any team in the National League to secure the Wild Card. Much will be settled in the 10 remaining games that the Brewers and Cubs are scheduled to play, 7 of which will take place in Milwaukee (I will try to ignore the fact that traditionally Cubs fans have made Miller seem like Wrigley), where Milwaukee has the 2nd-best homefield advantage (behind the Cubs). The Brewers and the Cubs will also play in the last series of the regular season which, if the issue is fought out on this line all summer, will result in a release of the contents of my bladder whether or not the Brewers secure a playoff berth.

Presuming the numbers are correct (which presumption may turn out to be foolhardy given the snowballing avalanche that is the New York fucking Mets) and also the import of the remaining games between the two teams, the pennant will be decided on the field between the two teams in the NLCS. This offers some encouragement to the Brewers, who in 6 games at Wrigley Field this year (their only so far against the Cubs), have taken 4. However, those will be ancient history by the time October rolls around. These are the hosses and guns that will decide the fray:

Starting rotations:

Sheets/Sabathia/Parra/Suppan/McClung-Bush

Zambrano/Harden/Lilly/Dempster/Marquis

On the track:

Braun/Cameron/Hart

Soriano/Edmonds/Fukudome

Around the horn:

Hall-Branyan/Hardy/Weeks/Fielder/Kendall

Ramirez/Theriot/DeRosa/Lee/Soto

Out of the ‘pen:

Torres/Riske/Shouse

Wood/Marmol/Howry

On the pine:

Kapler/Counsell/Dillon

Cedeno/Fontenot/Johnson

Looking at that, we’re in for a potentially epic duel down the stretch.

The Brewers have the advantage because they are more of a known quantity and, in my view, will better sustain their performance.

For the Cubs, uncertainty abounds. Can Alfonso Soriano return from the DL at the end of July and resume playing at a high level? Can Ryan Dempster, Jim Edmonds, Ryan Theriot, and Mark DeRosa continue to outperform projections? Can Jim Edmonds and Rich Harden stay healthy? The second half for the Cubs points to at least a slight regression to the mean.

Ryan Dempster is 31 and has already pitched 30 innings more than he did in his best season in 2005. DeRosa, 33, is having his best season as a professional baseball player. Jim Edmonds has been steadily declining since the 2006 season and he hasn’t had more than 400 at-bats since 2005. In Ryan Theriot’s only full season, he struck out more than he walked and his numbers of .266/.326/.346 make my penis erect. Tony Womack is his most similar comparison by age. And everyone knows Rich Harden hasn’t pitched more than 100 innings since 2005. He’s at 82 innings right now.

For the Brewers, Prince Fielder, J.J. Hardy, Ryan Braun, Mike Cameron, Corey Hart, and Russell Branyan all OPS+ at 115 or higher. They are far younger than the Cubs, particularly at amongst the starters, and less likely to fade down the stretch. And, if they survive until mid-October, the Cubs would do well to remember that Yovani Gallardo will be ready to return. Sheets, Sabathia, Gallardo, and Parra would arguably be the scariest 4-man rotation in the Major Leagues.

The final nail in the Cubbies’ collective coffin: Come October, the Cubs will have gone 100 years without winning a World Series. If they win the pennant, that would potentially ruin a perfectly good cocaine party hosted by Gary Sinise and Journey. We’ll be at the Drake Hotel on East Walton Place. I’ll be the one wearing the urine-stained boxers and the Paul Molitor jersey.

Brewers as NL Champs? That's just like, your opinion, man.

2008-07-13T09:31:00.001-07:00

The Cubs (not the Brewers) will represent the National League in the Fall Classic this year. Mark it, Dude.

People assume that Cubs fans are highly superstitious and thus highly guarded in their proclamations of superiority (albeit seasonal). Many of the Wrigley faithful groaned as Bernie Mac sung “root, root, root for the cha-amps” during the 7th inning stretch at Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS with the Cubs holding a 3-1 lead. Obviously that was a social gaffe because putting the cart in front of the horse, especially in such a highly charged situation lacks tact and understanding. However, had the whole Bartman/Prior/Gonzalez meltdown never occurred, no one would even remember that momentary slip of common sense. The way things actually happened, the exquisitely painful series of events that unfolded triggers many drunken blue-capped ladies and gentleman to work themselves into a foamy lather regarding one diabolical curse. The motives of the hands are unknown to us, but the devices He uses are iconic: a billy goat in ’45, a black cat in ’69, Leon Durham’s wickets in ’84, a grabby baseball nerd in ’03. Last month Dirty and I were sitting against the left field wall just a caps toss away from the Bartman seat (which has a sticker on it so people know which one to pose in for pregame pictures) and as the innings went on and the beers piled up, I had to consciously remind myself to dive out of the way if a pop fly was hit in my direction with the Cubs in the field. While I understand this isn’t an advanced concept, my head was a little fuzzy with Old Style and split second decisions in that state usually amount to some awkward lunge at the ball on my part. But now, I must be forever aware of Moises Alou patrolling the outfield lest I somehow in manage to interfere and end up on Sportscenter as “a typical idiot Cubs fan”. Those are the everyday realities of the Northsider and probably why most outsiders looking in share a mixture of sympathy and disgust. Sympathy at the perennial losing, disgust at how trivial this “badge of worry” attitude all seems. Well, for this post, I’m shelving all that cautious crap and making a brief argument for the leaders in the clubhouse at the turn, the 2008 Chicago Cubs for the NL pennant.

Possible rotation for an NLDS - Game 1: Zambrano, Game 2: Harden, Game 3: Dempster, Game 4: Zambrano, Game 5: Harden. Just a week ago I wrote how the C.C. Sabathia trade was an intimidating pick-up, luckily that feeling only lasted 24 hours. If we stay healthy at the top of our rotation, nobody can beat our starters – Not the Brewers. Not the Diamondbacks. Nobody.

Two ROY candidates and All-Stars starters in Kosuke Fukudome and Geovany Soto. Not since Jerome Walton and Dwight Smith going one-and-two in the Rookie of the Year balloting in 1989 has Chicago been more juiced up about a pair of newcomers.

The Cubs have a MLB leading run differential of +108 while the Cardinals (+18) and Brewers (+12) are distant also-rans in the category. Since the Cubs are only 5.5 and 6 games up respectively, one could intuit that multiple blowouts and difficulty with one run games are the cause. However, the Cubs are a touch above .500 (15-14) in one run contests. The Cardinals (19-16) and Brewers (19-10) have faired a little better, but I feel that these statistics rest in favor of the Cubbies. Whenever you are x10 better than other teams at something as elemental to the outcome of games as runs scored/runs conceded then the dam will eventually break.

Reason #341 why the Brewers won’t win the NL pennant in 2008: Eric “The 10 million dollar man” Gagne in his fourth appearance since coming off the DL on July 12th:

1.0 IP, 27 pitches, 4 hits, 4 runs, 4 ER, 2 HR, 1 K

Not since Rick Mirer has there been the potential for such a handsomely paid benchwarmer.

The Brewers have crumbled before and they have lasted thus far grit, moxie, homeruns and Ben Sheets. I know, I know, Manny Parra is a nice little story. Ditto Corey Hart in all his beer soaked glory. But in the end, it’s Fielder and Braun and little else. Wrigley Field boasts six batters with over 300 ABs and at least .370 OBP (Theriot .396, Ramirez .387, Fukudome .384, DeRosa .378, Lee .371, Soto .370). The Brewers? Zero. The closest is J.J. Hardy with 303 ABs and a .356 OBP.

The Brewers are a nice story, but the team to beat is that way for a reason. And this year, in light of this new shit, well, I rest my case.

"Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?"

A Ridiculous Assumption

2008-07-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

An Essay on why I truly believe Lou Piniella is being darted with sedatives by the Cubbie Brass

The Bowler and I have had innumerable discussions regarding sporting topics ranging from hilarious names (see God Shammgod, Siphiwe Tshabalala, et al.) to song parodies, and even as far as actual nitty-gritty statistical analyses (the most absurd topic of the three mentioned, I know). However, the one discussion that remains a running joke, whilst also maintaining a certain credibility, is how we both believe the Cubs' front office utilizes blow guns to sedate the often feisty manager of our beloved Cubs.

While Sweet Lou ages, as with most people, he appears to mellow significantly. But, during his previous stint as Tampa's coach, the difference between his temperament in the same role at the other ballclubs was negligible at best. After his hiatus from the bench, Piniella came to the North Side in a flurry of press and excitement. Already he showed a calm outward demeanor, only rarely trumped by his famous temper during his first season in charge of the Cub. Is the time and place in which this phase of his life finds him responsible for this diametric shift in personality/temperament?

While this could certainly play a part, I believe studying the physical, emotional, and perceptual faculties of the man might lead to a more surprising conclusion: Lou Piniella is being darted with a fairly significant sedative by the Cubbie Brass. It seems to be a systemic push, with no single member of the front office responsible for tranq-ing the man on a regular basis. It's more of a, "Lou's looking a little wired" (Phoot, goes the blow gun, delivering a hefty dose of animal tranquilizer through an almost imperceivable missile), "That should keep him on an even keel."

The effects are obvious, and those of us who have listened to the full gamut of pre, post, and in-game conversations with Sweet Lou can notice when and in what quantity the old dawg receives a dose of pacification juice. Of course the glassy eyes and stammering speech in pregame press meetings allude to some level of sedation. However, there are other indicators. Occasionally he can be found sating his sweet tooth with some candies (licorice, tootsie rolls, etc) during these interviews. Its not just the craving itself, but the almost childish glee apparent on his mug whilst masticating the processed sugar treats. This fact, when coupled with the very elongated "um's" and "uh's" that he peppers throughout his speeches, begin to elucidate the origins of this essay and our reason for believing such actions are in fact taking place.

Of course, the manner of speech and heightened sweet tooth could also be related to Sweet Lou's getting on in age (and may allude to any number of factors from the good ol' days of baseball when everyone was doping in one way or another, be it by amphetamines, cocaine, or various other devious means). However, the lethargic movements of both mind and body in pregame press conferences make little sense. He couldn't be tired already, he just got there. So why, then, are his reflex actions (like blinking, swallowing) affected? His blinking slows to a point of almost pausing, his mouth sometimes works more like an old school nutcracker (as if controlled by a primitive lever system), he sways quite noticeably, and will occasionally zone out, mid sentence. All of these factors more than account for my belief in an external agent pacifying Lou Piniella.

The kicker is that on more than one occasion, while the Bowler and I sat watching a game, a very fiery manager in the beginning of the contest would give way to a very relaxed and ponderous coach as the game wore on, regardless of circumstances (be it in a close game, a blow-out, being blown out). Could they possibly be darting him in the midst of a game? Absolutely yes, especially as the big wigs of the Cubs organization would have multiple angles and vistas from which they could unleash a barrage of dipped darts. The true indicator would be if they over-medicated him, causing a sheer collapse in consciousness. My hope is that there is enough communication at the top to realize the dire consequences of overestimating the rate at which Lou's older body metabolizes the sedatives. We all appreciate what he's done in last season and a half, and would hate to lose him for any period of time for health reasons, especially in relation to being controlled like a semi-trained grizzly.

I can't be assured of anything, but what I do know is that we as Cubs fans have been treated to a couple of very amusing blow-ups, but nothing approaching the kind of demeanor that landed Lou Piniella the facetious nickname "Sweet Lou". My hope is that the Cubbie brass will not over-control the man, but rather continue with their campaign of passive aid. If it ain't broke.

NOTE: This article is in no way a serious examination of the practices mentioned. While we all acknowledge that a regimen of sedatives delivered via blow darts is highly improbable, it remains possible.

Mr. Sabathia pitches for Brats and Beer

2008-07-06T21:07:00.000-07:00

It’s been six weeks leading up to this column. It’s been quite a nice respite, because the kid has been working hard and enjoying the summer. I flew back for the Cubs sweep over the White Sox at Wrigley. Dirty and I witnessed a nine-run inning almost exactly a year to the day after we witnessed “The Aramis Game” so that's some good mojo there. I moved into my new place and got a new set of golf clubs. I’m going to be a groomsman in my boy Kanedawg’s wedding next month. The Bulls picked Derrick Rose and I couldn’t be happier about that fact. I’ve been gone from these pages for a while because my life has been a good, healthy, honest busy. But tonight, I really felt compelled to write about something... so now, I fear the worst…

It’s basically official that C.C. Sabathia will be a Brewer for the rest of the season. The Brewers, in the past 6 weeks have gone from 4 games under .500 (and 6 games back) to 10 games over .500 (and 3.5 games back). Over that same span, the Cubs have gone 24-15 and LOST 2.5 GAMES in the NL Central.

Alright, I know the Cardinals are still in the mix, but excuse me for not taking them seriously. The odds of Kyle Lohse, Braden Looper, Todd Wellemeyer, Adam Wainwright and Joel Pineiro keeping this type of production going during a stressful September is remarkably low. Here are their K/9 rates so far and tell me I’m wrong: 4.49, 4.15, 6.68, 6.09, 4.76. Those numbers are telling me that a ton of things are going right for them in the field. We’ll see though.

The Brewers, however, terrify me. They have basically exclaimed that they are making a charge for this year. Matt LaPorta was their right fielder for the future and they shipped him off for 12 weeks from the 2007 AL Cy Young winner. The Sheets/Sabathia combination is frightening down the stretch, but even more frightening for Benny should be the prospect of both of them being free agents at the end of the year. Outside of the Rays, nobody has a deeper farm system and I could see them going for broke and picking up another solid middle reliever before the deadline. Basically, with this move, they are telling the rest of the NL Central, "It's on. Act accordingly."

The Cubbies have gone 6-8 in Big Z’s absence but now he’s back and winning baseball games. Soriano should be getting back shortly after the All-Star break and the wheels continue to turn. I’m anticipating another furious finish similar to last year where the victor won’t be decided until the final weekend of the season. However, unlike last year, I feel like second place in the NL Central will be good enough to play into October. I'm trying to wrap my head around this pennant chase during the Olympics and NFL tune-ups and quite honestly, I'm already losing sleep.

Mahalo. It's good to be back.

Gracias, Mate

2008-06-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

Like most Liverpool Supporters, my allegiances lay firmly with the Red Fury of Spain in Euro 2008. With England missing out on the Championships and four Reds making Luis Aragones's squad, the red half of Merseyside was inclined to stand with the perpetual underachievers. Spain had consistently disappointed on the international stage, with no World Cup victories to their name and the last European title coming in 1964. During the qualifying stages and into the knockout rounds, Spain proved that the preeminent status they acquired from pundits and bookies alike for the tournament was well deserved.

Domestically, Spain produce fantastic talent and boast one of the best Football Leagues in the world (La Liga's Primera Division is ranked second by UEFA behind the EPL and in front of Italy's Serie A). With powerhouses like Real Madrid, Barcelona, Deportivo La Coruna, Sevilla, Villareal, and Valencia, La Liga continues to show tremendously in International competitions such as the European Cup (UEFA Champions League) and the UEFA Cup (a competition for clubs unable to qualify for the Champions League). However, domestic supremacy rarely materialized on the international stage for La Seleccion.

The Spanish national side famously showcases players who are both tactically aware and technically astute. But even with tremendously talented players, the national team rarely proved any semblance of dominance over supposedly inferior competition. In the last 44 years (since their only Euro title), they have reached the quarterfinals five times combined in World Cup and European Championships tournaments. Only three times have they appeared in a final, all in the European Championships, with the two victories in '64 and '08.

While they now join elite company as one of only three sides with more than one European Championships title, there still remains some sense of doubt as to what the squad can achieve. After this victory, earned after finally playing to their potential, La Furia Roja will enter the next set of World Cup qualifiers as heavy favorites. This is new territory for a side much maligned as chokers and collapse artists. Even if they do not pull the international double at the next World Cup, this side has put aside the collective knowledge of a dismal past to create their own history. This seemingly impossible task is one the Chicago Cubs anticipate replicating in their own corner of the sporting community.

Hope springs eternal.

Retrospecticus

2008-06-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

This season ended trophy-less for Liverpool Football Club. The squad could not overcome some very average performances in the middle part of the season to keep their name in the tight race for the English Premier League title. The Champions League again provided unbelievable drama, as the Reds knocked out Arsenal in an all time classic, but were then dumped from the competition by Chelsea, in yet another semi-final corker between the Reds and Blues. Many have argued that the season was a disappointment because of the lack of silverware. It’s very difficult not to agree with this point. At a club where so much history revolves around triumph after triumph, the heightened expectations felt at the beginning of the campaign resulted in a feeling of failure because of the side's inability to add yet another title to the trophy case. But I am very much an apologist, so here is my list of tremendous achievements by everyone’s favorite Merseyside outfit.

Fernando Torres – The Kid proved himself more than deserving of the kind of dough LFC paid for his transfer from Atletico Madrid, his childhood team. What’s more, he proved he is the kind of player Kopites idolize as legends of this storied club. Torres broke record after record, both club records and national records. His name is now alongside the likes of Robbie Fowler, Ian Rush, Ian St. John, & Roger Hunt in the books of Liverpool F.C. for innumerable achievements such as consecutive home hat tricks, most EPL goals by a Liverpool striker, most consecutive home games with a goal, and one of the most impressive strike records in the books (essentially goals/game, he scored 33 goals in 47 games for the club in all competitions). In breaking so many of the club’s records, he also broke a very distinguished mark for the most goals by a foreign player in his debut season in the EPL. All of these impressive resume builders he achieved WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE PENALTY. Ruud van Nistelrooy held the old record of 23 goals in his first season in English football. Liverpool’s number nine scored 24, netting the final goal during the last match of the season. He’s showed incredible pace with tremendous ball control and an innate ability to bulge the onion bag when given even the slightest opportunity. Add to this his work rate for the team and his desire to play through some rather harsh treatment at the hands of opposition defenses (and the referees for that matter) and the adoration of all Reds supporters is completely justified. Here’s to an even better campaign next season, Nando. My favorite quote from the redandwhitekop.com contributors has to be, “Fernando Torres, turning kopites gay since 2007”.

Martin Skrtel – The main move made during the January transfer window for Rafa Benitez was the record signing (for a defender) of Slovak international Martin Skrtel. Skrtel confirmed the idea that understanding the language and a bedding in period were not prerequisites for success on the pitch. A very astute reader of the game and with speed to boot, Skrtel earned MOTM honors for multiple displays in his new Reds kit. He proved that he could easily match up against some of the best strikers in the world in Europe’s premier club competition (the UEFA Champions League). I am giddy over the idea of having a fit Daniel Agger and the Slovak towering in the Reds’ central defense next season, though it will take some time to get the two youngins well enough acquainted to each other to forego a vet in the back, like Big Sami or Carra. Still, with four centre halfs of this quality, I foresee fewer draws and more victories in tight games next season.

Ryan Babel – Our favorite flying Dutchman really impressed in his first season abroad. The former Ajax prodigy reached double digits in goals and showed a range of talent and strength that has everyone taking notice. Towards the end of the campaign, every team made damn sure there were at least two defenders to cover Babel from cutting inside or all the way to the endline. Unfortunately, a recent injury on international duty (torn ankle ligaments) means that his training regimen for the summer will have to be shelved until he regains full mobility without discomfort. A tremendous debut season in an unfamiliar position (left wing instead of close to the front) just begins to elucidate the potential the young Dutchman displays every time he sets foot on the pitch. Get well soon Ryan, we want you back ASAP so we can begin working on a song that could parallel the kind of excellence we’ve witnessed.

Sami Hyypia – In a season where the young Danish star, Daniel Agger, played only a handful of times due to recurring metatarsal injuries, the unbelievable performances of the aging Finn brought back memories of his time as the captain of LFC. Despite being “over-the-hill” in footy years, the big man made sure to remind Rafa that he’s still got some quality miles left in those older legs. Though a step or two slower than he once was, the veteran’s ability to read the game meant that he rarely let opposition strikers get a clear look at goal. This season further solidified his status as a legend alongside the likes of Alan Hansen, Ron Yeats and Mark Lawrenson. A status which is further explained by his offensive contributions in big matches, such as his quarterfinal header against Arsenal, which drew the Reds level at the time and started them on their way to a memorable victory.

Pepe Reina – Securing his third consecutive Golden Gloves award (for the most clean sheets in the Premier League) should have helped to get him within a shout of the starter’s job on Spain’s international squad. Even though Luis Aragones continues to pick him as the second choice for the international side, there’s no argument about the quality of Liverpool’s number one keeper. Pepe rightfully shares the Golden Gloves award with his squad, as he says the strength of the defense in front of him dictates the quantity and quality of the saves he needs to make. He became the quickest ‘keeper in Liverpool history to record 50 clean sheets (in only 92 games), surpassing Kop idol Ray Clemence’s old tally of 95 games to reach the milestone. Long may Pepe’s dominance between the posts (and under the bar) continue.

Javier Mascherano – Monster Masch has established himself as a core member of the spine of Liverpool Football Club. During the course of this campaign he displayed dogged determination, superb tackling, and a developing passing game just in front of the back four. He has quickly risen to a place alongside some of the best holding mids in the game, like Makelele or Gattuso. On top of all of this, Mascherano signed an extension, keeping him at LFC for, at the very least, four more years.

119 goals – For all those haters out there who claim that Liverpool FC are a boring team to watch, suck on that number. The Reds scored a phenomenal total of 119 goals in all competitions, the best total in England for the season. While I will most certainly concede that LFC are defensive minded, over-generalizing any side’s tendency makes you look like an ignorant fool. Yes, Liverpool do defend resolutely, because if you don’t concede, you can’t lose. However, when six players reach double digits in the goal column, there has to be a great deal of beautiful football being played all around the pitch. And for those who have not seen it, trust me, there is most certainly beautiful footy being played by the red half of Merseyside.

This concludes my first 6 months as footy correspondent. Thanks to everyone for their support and comments. I love this venture. Coming soon - the Teasipper goes Colonial: Totally uninformed and horribly biased views regarding America’s sporting landscape. I can sense you all waiting with bated breath.

Fuck Bret Michaels: This Rose has no thorns

2008-05-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

My beloved Chicago Bulls were growing stranger and stranger to me by the minute this past year. We fired Scott Skiles before New Years Eve. We traded for Drew Gooden and Larry Hughes at the deadline. We made a late “surge” but failed to qualify for the play-in game (which the Hawks were clearly more prepared for). We lost the Mike D’Antoni bidding war to an organization that is currently undertaking a historically miserable run for a franchise in ANY sport. In fact, an hour before the lottery my fraternity brother and rare remaining true Bulls fan “Relatively Big Mike” Wagoner sent me a rundown of our odds with his take:

No. 1: 1.70%
No. 2: 2.00%
No. 3: 2.40%
No. 9: 81.34%
No. 10: 12.18%
No. 11: 0.38%
No. 12: 0.0024%

Back in the lottery. Sick.

I wrote back verbatim:

Dude, after we missed out on D'Antoni, I'm conviced we're gunna end up with Kosta Koufos and head back down the totem pole. I'm going to frame my "twirling towels" from Games 3 and 4 of last year's Conference Semis because it might be the last time we play in games that meaningful for a long time.

Sad clown tears,

AK

Needless to say, we’ve spent the better part of the evening trading Beasley vs. Rose emails. I haven’t been this excited since the moments leading up to Game 1 of the NLDS last fall.

So which way am I leaning? Well, here is the God’s honest truth. When they opened the envelope, my first reaction was, “Holy Shit, we CAN GET DERRICK ROSE”. My second thought was to call Wags and Dirty and scream nonsensical phrases in or around my phone. Once the initial madness had subsided, I thought, “I suppose we COULD get Michael Beasley since our frontcourt has been our Achilles heel for the past three seasons”. This is when I realized, this will be the second longest month of my basketball life (the first being the month directly following MJ's first retirement).

Benny can attest, I’ve got an unhealthy love for athletic point guards, scrambling quarterbacks in Madden and scrappy middle infielders with high OBPs. These aren't biases, but rather personal preferences.

Another factor: I’ve been watching and rooting for Derrick Rose since his days at Simeon HS in the Chicago Public League. They played his games on local (as well as national) TV and it looked like he was playing on fast forward while everyone else was set on regular speed. The kid was born to play basketball. He’s from the streets of Chicago. He’s tough. He’s a winner. I could go on-and-on referencing vague minutia that you already know, but lemme cite two games in particular that I watched last year which made me love Derrick Rose:

Memphis-Tennessee (Feb. 23rd)

9-16 from the field, 23 points, 5 rebounds, 5 assists, 4 steals.

I know Memphis lost this game (one of two all season) but Rose showed me a lot in his second half performance. Here’s the thing that stuck with me, he was the only Memphis Tiger out there at crunch time willing to take and make big shots. Check out this GameLog and scroll down to 9:05 left in the second half when Rose misses two free throws. He takes over that game and is the ONLY reason that game was even close down the stretch.

Memphis-Texas (March 30th)

7-10 from the field, 21 points, 6 rebounds, 9 assists, 2 turnovers.

It wasn’t so much the offensive production or passing that I appreciated about this performance, it was how he SHUT DOWN the consensus second best point guard in the country in D.J. Augustin. This was an Elite Eight game and Rose held him to 4-18 shooting, 3 assists and 4 turnovers. Augustin only had more turnovers than assists in 4 of their 38 previous games last season. It was truly a complete game for Derrick (we're on a first name basis in my mind).

Now, I understand that Michael Beasley is a tremendous player and will be a great professional. But the City of Chicago has been waiting for a moment like this, to take the unconventional wisdom (always take the big guy) and cram it. Gun to your head, a potential Deron Williams/Chris Paul or a likely Elton Brand. If you worry about things like “we already have a point guard” then you obviously are missing something vital. This is a lottery team for a reason. Shuffle the deck, move Duhon, move Hughes, acquire role players, court the high profile coaches still out there, make some bold choices. Derrick Rose surrounded by savvy front office moves is a recipe that could very well lead to an Eastern Conference Finals appearance before his rookie contract is up. I’m a homer, I’m a Chicagoan, I love the feel of this whole thing. It’s fate. I’m going to spend the next month flooding John Paxson’s inbox with pro-Rose statistics and impassioned emails from the heart. Michael Beasley isn’t Sam Bowie, but not drafting Derrick Rose for the character of the city looking forward to embracing him, could spell the same foul fate.

The Beautiful Art of the Sports Video Montage

2008-05-09T07:58:00.000-07:00

If I lived in a world in which the pursuit of capital and the inch-by-inch, day-by-day grunt and crawl through the muck and filth of a white collar office job was not a requisite for maintaining the existence that has evolved over the course my life, there are three pursuits that would be my occupation. Yes, this is my Peter Gibbons moment. As Donny has already attested, skippering an inlet charter fishing boat and designing, constructing, and operating a 21-and-over natural grass miniature golf course have been dreams of ours for years, our light at the end of the tunnel and our Oz.

The last pursuit would be splicing and recording video montages of sports highlights set to music.

Now tell me, is there anything that can heighten our love of sports as much as a well-crafted video of meaningful athletic moments accompanied by just-the-right song? It can raise the hair on our bodies, transport our stomachs to our throats, moisten the corners of our eyes, and get our dander up on gameday.

What follows is a collection of videos of the most well-done video montages that I was able to find on YouTube for each of the major sports. Enjoy.

Soccer

This is a compilation of the top-50 goals ever scored. Set to a techno beat with a solo string instrument (a vibe that we've become used to on EA Sports' FIFA games), this is a rapid-fire compilation of some of the slickest touches that have filled the ol' onion bag. I'm especially interested to hear from Dirty his take on the order and any notable omissions. Here is a different top-50 video set to a faster beat, but slower in presentation.

Hockey

This is a surprisingly enjoyable compilation of the top-20 goals ever scored in hockey, which for several reasons doesn't get much attention anymore. Set to Fatboy Slim's "Right Here, Right Now" the fluiditiy of the clips nicely complement Mr. Cook's instrumentals.

Baseball

It appears that the fascists over at Major League Baseball have done a wonderful job of preventing people from uploading historical and contemporary highlights to the Internet because an hour of searches yieled nothing of substance. Thanks, Bud Selig, once again your masterful stewardship of America's pastime is without parallel. To compensate, here are some truly amazing amateur defensive web gems.

Basketball

Because it is professionally done and annually highlights the greatest moment of the greatest American tournament, the "One Shining Moment" video has to be the hands-down best basketball montage. The late, great Luther Vandross' voice has sung over this alternately slo-motion/real-time feature for more than 10 years and it always captures the pageantry, excitement, heartbreak, and triumph of March Madness. I was disconcerted to see a real dearth in quality NBA videos (either the wrong song or poor quality footage), but just over 3 minutes of Air can do anyone some good.

Football

NFL Films deserves much of the credit for originating and honing the video montage into a truly exceptional art. Though John Facenda's spoken, baritone backed powerfullyby horns, trumpets, and drums and poetically by string pieces, is representative of NFL history and lore, I've opted for this house/trance music punctuated by occassional piano solos in a video that highlights some of the greatest hits and runs in NFL history. It makes my loins quiver for training camp. Also, if the Packers would have played this video at halftime of the NFC Championship Game, I can almost guarantee that they wouldn't have lost.

BONUS

When I first saw this video in the first 3 hours of the new millenium, I staggered home to make sure that that my VHS taping of the "Sportscenter of the Century" was still recording. Capturing the most unforgettable visual impressions left by sports in the 1900s, I still make a point of watching it every few months. Professionally done, the song choice of Aerosmith's "Dream On" is absolutely perfect. This is the ideal of the sports video montage.

A Chicago 3-pack: D'Antoni, Benson and Guillen

2008-05-07T13:38:00.000-07:00

Noise coming out of Bristol today indicates that the Bulls are just a few shuffles of paper away from locking Mike D’Antoni up as their head coach. I’ve respected the man since his success started with the Suns during the 2004-05 season, but since then it’s grown based on his service to Team USA and his international style of offensive X's and O's. The more I read about Mike D’Antoni, the more I like him.

Did you know that as a player he was the greatest point guard in Italian basketball history? Kobe was living there as a child and recognized D’Antoni as his favorite player (even adopting his #8 when he came to the Lakers). He’s had coaching success in Italy as well as the NBA and it seems like a real solid step in the right direction if his basketball theory lands in the Windy City.

The Bulls will still be paying a buyout of Scott Skiles contract to the tune of $4 million next year, but what this team needs is a confident, tested leader. When you bring in an assistant coach with upside like Tom Thibodeau of the Celtics, you never know if you’ll be getting a Lovie Smith or a Dick Jauron (wha-wha-whaaaa). Bottomline, if you look at the Bulls roster and deselect some of the undesirable team-concept guys (Duhon, Hughes), modify roles of uber-athletic guys who want to run (Thomas, Deng, Sefolosha), transform the slashers into sharpshooters (Gordon, Nocioni) and perhaps rejuvenate a point guard gone sideways (Hinrich) then this might be a palatable team next year. In my opinion, none of that happens without D’Antoni's offensive schemes.

It’s no secret that I’m a Thomas Jones fan. It’s also no secret that I’m not wild about Cedric Benson. These two factors shouldn’t preclude me from having a rational reaction to Benson’s recent run-in with the law, but they almost did. Let me explain.

Cedric Benson has presented himself as a malcontent on Chicago sportstalk radio, he’s been prickly and presumptious about his playing time and done very few things to endear himself to Bears fans once he got the starting nod. This being said, after my initial knee-jerk reaction of disgust and disappointment (in the wake of Clemens hubris that denial shall ultimately exonerate you) has changed in the passing days. The fact that he didn’t get breathalized onboard but deemed drunk, the fact that his parents were onboard, the fact that he is earnestly pleading his case which seems plausible (unlike Clemens) have all added up to something of an interesting situation for me. Now, do I think he was drunk? I have no idea. Do I think Benson was “nothing but cooperative”? Again, it’s hard to say. However, if I’ve learned one thing from watching countless Cops marathons in my youth, it’s that the moment a black guy asks a question or seeks an explanation with any iota of hostility in his voice, officers immediately break out the tasers and billy clubs. This is how it works.

I hope Cedric Benson gets a fair trial and I hope Matt Forte can run the ball. Wow, I just read that last sentence and I can’t believe the Bears were in the Super Bowl a mere 15 months ago.

Ozzie Guillen has been a lifelong member of the White Sox family. He played there, he manages there and he won a World Series there so I can understand his vitriol for the Cubs. I really can, shit, some times I get sick of all the fluff and national attention we get. When ESPN did a Cubs/Mets game two weeks ago, there were about 30 instances where the announcers slurped Wrigley Field or Friendly Confines Faithful. It’s obnoxious, ongoing and I can honestly understand why other fan bases HATE us.

That being said, Ozzie Guillen is a whinny, frustrated, self-promoting jagoff who thinks his shit doesn’t stink because he’s “a baseball man”. He’s so super sensitive about what the Chicago media prints about him, yet he’s always so brash and disrespectful. I recall during their World Series year when a reporter asked him about an upcoming tilt with their cross-town rivals, he’s waved his hand and said dismissively, “Fuck the Cubs. Why should I care about them?”. Ozzie picks fights with local columnist Jay Mariotti which really only sells issues of the Sun Times and lowers him to Jay’s level (which is pretty fucking low if you’ve ever read him). He cites the anniversary of the Lee Elia tirade but as always misses the point. He demands respect, but he doesn't understand that respect is earned and ultimately comes off like on of those drunk people on The Real World. I’m generally of the mind that whatever you give people, they will return. If you treat others with kindness and respect, for the most part, that’s exactly what you’ll get back. Ozzie claims the Chicago media is fickle, unfairly favors the Cubs and doesn’t give the White Sox respect.

Well Ozzie, that’s probably because they write what you give them.

Cubs v. Brewers - A Running Diary

2008-04-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

The Cubs and the Brewers are quickly ascending the ranks of my favorite rivalries with regard to my rooting interests. Last year was a tremendous two-team pennant race (I never really considered the Cardinals a threat) that really made me appreciate our neighbors to the north. Here’s how the rivalries stacks up if the criteria is pure enjoyment:

1st Bears/Packers (The gold standard)
2nd Cubs/Cardinals (Great history, great fans)
3rd Liverpool/Everton (The more I learn, the more I respect it)
4th Cubs/Brewers (Scrappy underdogs make good)
5th Cubs/White Sox (A civic obligation)
6th Bulls/Pistons (Lost its luster, but can be rekindled at any moment)

So without further ado, my running diary:

7:59pm There are few things better than Web Gems set to upbeat music with breathless announcers loosing their shit. Baseball Tonight just closed their show with the best leather flashes for the month of April, well done fellas. I love it.

8:00pm Dave O’Brian is doing the play-by-play. Steve Phillips is doing color for the broadcast. I like Phillips because he always brings up his service as the GM of the Mets. He regularly cites the Mo Vaughn signing as a self-deprecating reminder that everything he says should be taken with a grain of salt. I can appreciate that.

8:02pm Erin Andrews is smoking hot. I’m usually intimidated around smart, attractive women as is, but one that can talk baseball is beyond my comprehension.

8:08pm Dempster is pitching. The wind is blowing in. Johnson, Pie, Fukudome in the outfield. Ramirez, Theriot, DeRosa and Lee around the horn. Soto behind the dish. I have a weird feeling like Soto or Pie in the 7 and 8 spots are going to have a big game. {I promise that I actually made this prediction. No fake.}

8:12pm Weeks grounds out weakly to the pitcher after drawing a 2-2 count. He’s batting .190 on the season. What happened to this guy? I know he’s got some pop, but as time passes he appears to be more and more like Milwaukee’s Corey Patterson.

8:14pm Three up. Three down. Bring on Suppan.

8:18pm Reed Johnson has 90 plate appearances and has now taken 88 first pitches. The culture of patience is astounding considering the historical hackers we’ve had in our lineup over recent years. The Cubs are 13-5 when Johnson hits leadoff. I just picked him up on my fantasy team. He had a BONKERS catch that is an early candidate for play of the year. As I type this, he stings a single into left field. Now all he has to do is shave that Spiezioesque soul patch and I have a new man crush.

8:22pm Weeks misjudges a Theriot 3-2 hit-and-run slap up the middle. The ball squirts into right. Runners at the corners.

8:23pm Riot steals second on a no-throw by noodle-armed Jason Kendall.

8:25pm D. Lee doubles off the left field wall. Johnson scores. Cubs 1, Brewers 0.

8:26pm A. Ram doubles off the left field wall. Riot and Lee score. Cubs 3, Brewers 0.

8:32pm Fukudome lines out, DeRosa walks. Runners on first and second. Soto’s up. Phillips mentions that Suppan is at the 30-pitch mark already.

8:33pm Soto jerks a hanging curveball into the leftfield bleachers. It seems as though I’m juggling man crushes at the moment. Cubs 6, Brewers 0.

8:36pm Dempster slices a single to the opposite field. The wheels have come off, rolled into a nearby ditch and inexplicably burst into flame.

8:37pm 39 pitches and 19 minutes later. The first inning ends. Mercifully.

8:43pm Prince Fielder loops a single into center which caps 3 minutes of “Prince Fielder is not only a vegetarian but also encourages the clubhouse to be Eco-friendly” talk. I remember an era when our portly clean-up hitters boozed and womanized, but now they are socially conscious. What’s next? Will our hard-hitting strong safeties start writing children’s books?

8:46pm Hart pops out to second followed by Bill Hall grounding out to Ramirez. Rammy skips the ball into first and D. Lee nonchalantly picks the ball out of the dirt. I’m convinced that Derrick Lee for Hee Seop Choi is the biggest steal of the past ten years that nobody talks about.

8:54pm Suppan bounces back. Three up, three down.

8:59pm I REALLY like the way Dempster is mixing up, locating and executing his pitches. He’s been doing it all year. I know he was a 15 game winner with Cincy in 2001 before his Tommy John surgery so I shouldn’t be that surprised, but I think his closer stint as “The Dumpster” really clouds my ability to look objectively at him. That brutal 2006 season (75 IP, 77 H, 36 BB, 24 saves, 9 blown saves, 4.80 ERA) was difficult from a P.R. standpoint especially when the Cubs were the worst team in the National League. I think I’m still going to refer to him as “Dump-a-Lump” but only as a term of endearment.

9:06pm The Brewers patch together a two-out single and walk before Braun smokes a single to left. Cameron goes first to third. Runners at the corners. Prince is coming up. Time to settle down. Cubs 6, Brewers 1

9:09pm After a tough duel at the plate, Fielder floats out to left. Inning over. Three innings in the books.

9:12pm Fukudome hits a comebacker off Suppan, which kicks to first base with amazing english on it. It leaps away from Fielder who just narrowly misses the barehand adjustment and the ball shoots toward the Milwaukee bullpen. Your typical double.

9:15pm DeRo thumps a single to right field. Fukudome scores. Cubs 7, Brewers 1.

9:21pm Mark Cuban interview after the break!!! I wonder what they’ll talk about!?!?!

9:23pm Erin Andrews cozies up with Cubes sitting right in front of the Chicago on-deck circle for a little Q&A. She leads off with “Where did it go wrong with Avery (Johnson)?” You got some stones on ya, don’t cha … um, I mean, good question Erin. Interesting phrasing for sure though. After some softballs, she asks what the differences would be between Stern and Selig… Cuban, who CLEARLY wants to own the Cubs, remarks that “Bud Selig has been phenomenal for baseball.” I was half expecting him to add, “If no one else want him, I’ll take Judge Smails.”

BROWWNNN NOOSSSSEEE!!!

9:33pm Theriot ropes a single to left with one out. D. Lee looms large at the plate.

9:34pm D. Lee smacks a single into the gap. Runners at the corners. Suppan’s pitch count is at 74 through 4.1 innings. If I’m him, I’m breaking into the mini-bar hardcore tonight.

9:37pm Bill Hall boots a sharply hit ground ball. Riot scores, Lee and Ramirez safe. Cubs 8, Brewers 1.

9:43pm DeRo smacks an RBI single. Suppan leaves to mock applause. Cubs 9, Brewers 1.

9:47pm Soto jacks his second three run homer into the left field bleachers!!! You can close the book on Suppan (thank god). I hate being right all the time. Cubs 12, Brewers 1.

9:48pm Fukudome almost named his son Chicago last year. For some reason, this makes me immensely happy.

9:45pm It has just occurred to me this is my sixth running diary (Bulls/Wizards, Bulls/Warriors, Bears/Vikings, Virginia/Texas Tech, Cubs/Rockies) and my record is looking like it’s going to be 5-1. From now on, I’m doing running diaries of every Chicago playoff game going forward. Seems reasonable.

9:59pm Dempster scatters two walks before giving up a two-out double to Ryan Braun. Cubs 12, Brewers 3.

10:06pm Five innings complete. Time for another beer.

10:10pm ESPN does a montage with maudlin music about 1908: Taft was the 27th president, the first Model T first produced, the 4th modern Olympics happened in London… this doesn’t even bother me. It’s absurd that this is a requirement for national consumption of my favorite baseball team.

10:13pm Dave O’Brian refers to the episode last season when Zambrano criticized the fans after a rocky stretch in the late months of the season. To be honest, I completely forgot about that. I forgave him immediately after he apologized. He’s like my drunk best friend who gets in fights with bouncers every weekend. He’s a solid guy, but occasionally he gets bent out of shape and you just have to nod and pretend like you know what he’s talking about.

10:18pm Erin Andrews gives us a report about how Lou Piniella feels about the topic of the 100 year “curse”. Thank God, it had been almost ten minutes. I almost forgot about that.

10:24pm Fukudome takes a seven pitch at-bat and finally bloops an RBI single into right. Cedeno scores from second. Cubs 13, Brewers 3.

10:34pm Six innings in the books.

10:54pm I took the 7th inning off to watch this based on Ben’s recommendation. I’m glad I did. It’s the segment from “Costas Now” that has been causing much fervor throughout the blogosphere over the past 24 hours. The panelists are Buzz Bissinger (author, Friday Night Lights), Will Leitch (of Deadspin.com) and Braylon Edwards (wideout, Cleveland Browns). If you are interest in sports and how it is covered, I recommend that you watch this piece (it’s about 15 minutes long). Then I would suggest that you read the response from FJM which does very competent work and is a favorite of B&B. They crush the idiocy of Bissinger better than I could and in a way they stick up for the fabric of the sports blogging populace. I enjoy blogging because it’s a form of self-expression that is easy to explore and truly fun. Sports and writing are both passions of mine. I know that nobody reads this, but that's not even the point. It's out there and really that's all I care about. I derive enjoyment by browsing sports blogs to get a different take from knowledgeable people who aren’t bound to teams or news agencies. When it’s something worthwhile, I become a repeat reader and I feel like the process has moved along to the benefit of us all. Mr. Bissinger incorrectly asserts that only morons frequent blogs and we should all be wringing our hands with worry at the direction things are headed. Now, I’m far from being considered a literary snob, but I appreciate traditional sportswriting as well. I love The Last Amateurs, The Breaks of the Game and (of course) Moneyball. It’s all a wonderfully rich tapestry and the traditions these writers uphold are complimented (not diminished) by solid sports blogs. I’ve even read Three Nights in August by Mr. Bissinger and really liked it. However, I found his ambush (which is what it was) to be extremely surface based and reactionary. He speaks about spending years upon years honing his craft just as his contemporaries have done, those who sit perched in press boxes collecting and relaying facts. He fails to recognize that every corner of writing has hacks. For every Hunter S. Thompson there is a Jay Mariotti. For every 60 Minutes there is a TMZ. Blogs aren’t the problem. Crusty old men who are hateful because their mediums are slowly being put out to pasture are the problem. OK, that’s all I got for right now. By the way, Cubs 13, Brewers 5.

11:04pm Marmol is in. He is by far the livest arm in the NL Central. I think he has the potential to be the next “elite closer in a league of his own” for years to come. I’m telling you, Mariano Rivera good. I say this with no reservations. He strikes out Gabe Kapler looking with gas on the outside corner. He strikes out Bill Hall swinging on a two-seam fastball on the inside corner. J.J. Hardy pops up to Soto.

11:22pm Derrick Turnbow has given up a run and now is in a two-out, bases loaded jam. Theriot up next. Cubs 14, Brewers 5.

11:26pm Turnbow walks in his second run of the inning. Cubs 15, Brewers 5.

11:27pm Cedeno hits a bases clearing double. Nobody is warming up in the bullpen. At this point, I just feel bad for the kid. He’s twisting in the wind. He has no command or velocity at this point. I understand that you want to save arms in a blowout, but this has got to CRUSH his confidence. Cubs 18, Brewers 5.

11:28pm Ward demolishes a double into the gap in right-center. Cedeno trots home. Ned Yoast FINALLY gets some action going in the bullpen. This is painful to watch even as a Cubs fan. Steve Phillips muses that he absolutely has to be playing injured and I’m inclined to agree. Cubs 19, Brewers 5.

11:32pm Hank White walks. Runners on first and second. Yoast taps his left arm. It’s about fucking time.

11:36pm Stetter relieves Turnbow and promptly strikes out DeRosa.

11:43pm Wuertz retires the side in the top of the 9th. Ballgame.

The Good, The Bad, and the Clearly you Know Nothing about Basketball

2008-04-28T12:48:00.000-07:00

All in all, this set of predictions appears to be exactly what it is: a compilation of stream-of-consciousness thoughts about basketball teams loosely tied in to one of the most underrated movies of the 21st century. Regardless, we here at Bowler and Benny are accountable for what we've posted so, without any further delay, my half-baked analysis of my half-baked predictions for the 2007-08 NBA season.

New York Knicks

Predicted: 22-60
Actual: 23-59
Difference: 1

Douchebaggery a la basketball. When Jamal Crawford leads your team in assists and that's the LEAST of your problems we're talking about historical ineptitude. Caution, if you were a Knicks fan during the 1990s, reading this may cause you to swallow your tongue. In describing the 2007-08 Knickerbockers, the first comparison that comes to mind is dead kitten lying in a urined and poopied adult diaper somewhere in Camden, New Jersey.

Verdict: Fuck a pearl necklace, I'm dotting eyes.

Denver Nuggets

Predicted: 52-30
Actual: 50-32
Difference: 2

At this point, looks like one series and done. Explosiveness on offense allowed them to make the playoffs in a strong Western Conference, but they don't play defense well enough to be considered an elite team or a contender. Allen Iverson's numbers during his age-32 season show slight improvement from last year's partial season with Denver by putting up 26-7-3-2 and averaging a full turnover less per game, a promising sign for the next few seasons.

Verdict: No darkhorse in this stable, but the shoe is close to the pin.

Cleveland Cavaliers

Predicted: 43-39
Actual: 45-37
Predicted: 2

I know Donny cringes (and rightly so) when another player is compared to Michael Jordan, but BronBron, the career points leader in Cleveland, really does appear to serve the role of a mid-80s Jordan. Carries an otherwise awful team night in and night out, puts up gaudy numbers, and has elevated his game yet again this season. He has been and will continue to be awesome to watch during the playoffs. The Cavaliers are well on their way to advancing to the Conference Semifinals, but they were outscored by opponents during the regular season and there's no way they win 4 outta 7 against the Celtics.

Verdict: A bit too harsh on LeBron, but overall a fair assessment.

Indiana Pacers

Predicted: 33-49
Actual: 36-46
Difference: 3

No offense to Danny Granger, but Danny Granger would be the sixth man on a championship team. He is the best player on the Pacers. That said, this collection of fair-to-middling journeymen over-achieved and finished 3rd place, albeit in an absolutely putrid Central Division. Drafting Jermaine O'Neal every year is exemplary of why my fantasy basketball skills are lacking.

Verdict: 36 wins was a best case scenario for the Pacers.

Philadelphia 76ers

Predicted: 37-45
Actual: 40-42
Difference: 3

In what has been the biggest surprise of the playoffs thus far, the 76ers took 2 of the first 3 games from Detroit (including, a facial dick-smacking on Friday night). They don't win the series, but in all a nice showing from a team that shouldn't have even made the playoffs, except for the fact that the play in the Eastern Conference. The Andres (Iguodala and Miller) make this team go. Is it just me, or should Samuel Dalembert be better than 10-10-2?

Verdict: My distaste for Philadelphia affected this prediction.

San Antonio Spurs

Predicted: 60-22
Actual: 56-26
Difference: 4

San Antonio continues to prove that the king is still the king until he has been killed. They recovered from a slow start to win the Southwest Division and have dismantled the Phoenix Suns in the first round. They've sustained their success by keeping their core personnel, playing top flight defense, and employing a deep and competent bench of Barry, Udoka, Oberto, Thomas, Vaughn, Elson, etc.

Verdict: In the neighborhood, but points off for picking the Suns to beat them.

Washington Wizards

Predicted: 50-32
Actual: 43-39
Difference: 7

Although I am thrilled to see former fellow UVA student Roger Mason, Jr. logging something other than DNPs, missing Gilbert Arenas for 69 games clearly diminished the Wizards' long-term performance. Though Antwan Jamison and Caron Butler both had nice years, neither could replace Agent Zero's offense, which is demonstrated by a drop in team Offensive Rating from 3rd in 2007 to 10th in 2008. A disappointing showing against Cleveland will lead to an early exit from the playoffs.

Verdict: Using my mulligan now because there's some right (meaning stinky) shite coming up.

New Jersey Nets

Predicted: 41-41
Actual: 34-48
Difference: 7

Just a crappy, crappy team. Only slightly crappier without Jason Kidd (11-19) as they were with him and his menstrual cramps (23-29). The secret to their success was clearly Billy Thomas. The New Jersey Nets were 3-1 in games he played for them and 31-47 without. They should try getting him back from Cleveland during the off-season before the Cavaliers lock him up to a long-term deal.

Verdict: I underestimated just how crappy this team is.

Seattle Supersonics

Predicted: 20-62
Actual: 29-53
Difference: 9

No surprise that they finished in last place in the Northwest Division. It matters little how poor record they had this season. The folks in Seattle wouldn’t have cared if they finished 0-82 so long as they have a team to support. Next year they won't. And that's a terrible shame.

Verdict: David Stern should eat a dick.

Phoenix Suns

Predicted: 66-16
Actual: 55-27
Difference: 11

Back in November, I posted this: "This is a potential top-10 team historically." So yeah, um, apparently team chemistry is a little more important than I thought. And defense. And shooting free throws. In light of Phoenix's current 3-1 deficit to the Spurs, we forget that this is still the 2nd ranked offense in the NBA. The rub though, and in this case there is a rather large one, is that their mediocre defense (both before and after the arrival of Shaq) is always suspect and at times has been abused over the course of the season.

Verdict: Stupid run-n-gun offenses with your big breasts and Brazilian wax and hot friends.

Utah Jazz

Predicted: 41-41
Actual: 54-28
Difference: 13

Deron Williams. Carlos Boozer. The best offense in the league. Shoulda known better. I always underestimate this team. Part of me thinks it subconsciously has to do with their nickname being the "Jazz". This should've been dealt with in 1979. I'll tell ya exactly what I'd do if I were a Mormon, man. Two wives at the same time.

Verdict: 41-41 really means, "I know nothing about this team and I'm hoping for the best."

Milwaukee Bucks

Predicted: 43-41 (I’d like to call this a typographical error but you should also know that I'm retarded)
Actual: 26-56
Difference: 17

I am fucking delusional. And this is beyond being-a-homer delusional, it is far worse. When did the wheels come off? When Ramon Sessions started logging more minutes than Yi Jianlian and Bobby Simmons? When the Bucks started playing the worst defense in the league? When Larry Krystkowiak was formally hired to replace Terry Stotts? At this point, Andrew Bogut is far closer to Michael Olowokandi and Kwame Brown than he is to Tim Duncan or Larry Johnson. Looking through the roster, I see names I haven't seen since I watched March Madness in high school. Jake Voshkuhl, Charlie Bell, Royal Ivey, Charlie Villanueva. The most baffling part is I still kinda like this team on paper. I have myself half-believing that Scott Skiles and a top 3 pick in the draft can make this a playoff team next year, when they're probably better off blowing it up and selling the spare parts.

Verdict: This team plateaued before the season started. I s-thuck (Wipes self off).

New Orleans Hornets

Predicted: 36-46
Actual: 56-26
Difference: 20

Way off. Way. But it couldn't have happened to a better team. They're young and they're fun to watch. Chris Paul is my MVP just for being able to resuscitate Peja Sotjakovic's career. They're about to regulate the Mavericks and will test the Spurs in the Semifinals. I think there's too much experience waiting for them in that round to be able to emerge victorious and make it to the Western Conference Finals, but consider me on the bandwagon. And admit it, we're all a little better off now that the Birdman is back in our lives.

Verdict: Who saw this coming? Byron Scott's son might've.

Boston Celtics

Predicted: 46-36
Actual: 66-16
Difference: 20

I must confess, because I staked my reputation on this prediction, I followed Boston more than any other team throughout the season. When they won their first 8, I was concerned. When they were 20-2, I was tempted to "accidentally" delete their preview from my initial post. When they won their 46th game on March 2nd, I knew I would have some 'splainin' to do. I am embarrassed and I'm sorry (although, in a weird way, I do feel somewhat vindicated they have redefined the term "over-hyped").

Verdict: Everything I know about basketball is wrong. I know nothing about basketball.

Scott Skiles does his defensive slide up I-94

2008-04-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

The NFL draft is only a few dozen hours away. The Cubs are tied with the Diamondbacks for the best record in baseball. The Champions League Semis have produced two first-leg draws. The NHL playoffs are not only watchable, but genuinely compelling. Chris Paul, Lebron James and Kobe Bryant are straight up shitting on people in the first round. It seems like there's a wealth of sports related stories to explore, but I'm stuck on some news that happened a few days ago. It was the kind of news that made the ESPN crawl but you'd never notice it. The news got 15 seconds on Sportscenter before being forgotten amidst the din of an ever-blossoming Isiah Thomas saga. I'm speaking, of course, about Scott Skiles accepting the Head Coach position with the Milwaukee Bucks.

When it comes to basketball success, I'm a firm believer in defense. Jordan wasn't the greatest because he averaged 30.1 points, 6.2 rebounds and 5.3 assists for his career. He was the greatest because he also averaged 2.3 steals and .8 blocks as a 6'6" shooting guard. He stepped up his game for 94 feet. There was no chance that you were getting a free pass if he was marking up on you. That's what playoff basketball supremacy is founded on. Just ask the Spurs.

Let's be honest, taking charges isn't glamorous. Boxing out is hard work. Trusting your teammate with a switch at the high post takes patience, practice and understanding. You can shoot the hell out of the ball but if the lane toward your basket is comprised of harmless arm-and-leg turnstiles than you'll never win. The hot hands will turn cold and your bedrock will buckle no matter how attractive your roster looks on paper. Just ask the Nuggets.

Scott Skiles assumed the helm of the Bulls only sixteen games into the 2003-04 season. This was a team that Paul Shirley averaged 12.3 minutes over his seven game trial as our backup power forward. Jerome Williams and Linton Johnson platooned down low starting a combined 52 games. Jamal Crawford averaged 16.5 FG attempts a game while shooting .386% from the field... over 73 starts. Basically, this was a miserable team that he inherited from long-armed Bill Cartwright. Skiles went 19-47 for the remainder of the season, but sadly, this was a vast improvement from the Tim Floyd era. Then something happened.

We drafted Ben Gordon, Luol Deng and Chris Duhon. All winners in college. All students of the game under solid and sound basketball minds. They were young, talented guys who could work well within a system. Basically, the best kind. Partly because of these reasons, all three averaged at least 25 minutes on a 47-win team in their rookie season. Skiles was the toast of the NBA. The Bulls were now the "Baby Bulls" that you don't dare sleep on. The next two seasons where highlighted with 41 wins and 49 wins and playoff progression each year. The predictions started flying shortly thereafter...

However, after a 9-16 start this year, Bulls management let Skiles go on Christmas Eve.

Skiles is a tough coach, but since when is that a bad thing? Just because the NBA bestows multi-million contracts to teenagers doesn't mean "a player's coach" is necessarily what you need to coddle and manage egos. If your franchise player is only interested in his stats, it takes a strong leader and teacher at coach to explain why team defense is going to progress "his" team into June (when legends are made). Discipline is essential to playing steady basketball over a grueling 82 game season and serious practices are the totem of such ideals. Scott Skiles provided that fair but stern rod for any player who had notions of self-satisfaction. He sat Tim Thomas without reservation. He shipped out bad attitude guys like Eddie Robinson. He created a nucleus of fundamentally sound professionals who were willing to play defense every night. That takes a ferocity of spirit, a pride of team, a desire of victory above all else. That's what a good coach does.

The Bulls under Skiles:

2004-2005 Opponents Field Goal Percentage: .422 (1st of 30)
Defensive Rating: 100.3 (2nd of 30)

2005-2006 Opponents Field Goal Percentage: .426 (1st of 30)
Defensive Rating: 103.4 (7th of 30)

2006-2007 Opponents Field Goal Percentage: .435 (2nd of 30)
Defensive Rating: 99.6 (1st of 30)

The Milwaukee Bucks over that same span:

2004-2005 Opponents Field Goal Percentage: .464 (27th of 30)
Defensive Rating : 109.8 (28th of 30)

2005-2006 Opponents Field Goal Percentage: .466 (24th of 30)
Defensive Rating : 107.4 (23rd of 30)

2006-2007 Opponents Field Goal Percentage: .480 (29th of 30)
Defensive Rating : 111.7 (29th of 30)

I'm generally not of the mind to judge too harshly or laud praise undeservedly on my Chicago coaches. Everyone gets two seasons and as long as they aren't flagrantly inept or decidedly overmatched, I can handle just about any experiment. But on the verge of a new hire for the Bulls, whether it's Rick Carlisle (go hoos) or Tom Izzo, Jeff Van Gundy or Tom Thibodeau... it'll be a step backward in my eyes.

Congrats Benny C, you just scooped up a bona fide coach.

Where I prove I know very little about the NBA

2008-04-17T06:40:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of the NBA season we split up the teams and made our predictions. I made mine, Ben made his. We went out on some limbs, but for the most part we picked the wrong branches. Here’s a rundown of my picks now that this whole fiasco known as the regular season is in the books:

Miami Heat
I said (42-40)
They went (15-67)

To my credit, nobody saw this coming. Here are their win totals from the past four seasons: 59, 52, 44, 15. So what went wrong? Well, Ricky Davis and Udonis Haslem were their third and fourth best players and Haslem barely played half the season. Those are 6th men on contenders. The fact that Shaq probably gave up ten games in didn’t help matters, but really, no team could really respond to that brutal start without having the horses. Miami simply didn’t have them. Verdict: Miserable prediction, but I wasn’t alone.

Portland Trailblazers
I said (32-50)
They went (41-41)

When they started the season 22-13, I knew I was in trouble here. They faded a little down the stretch but really they over achieved in the first two months with some tremendous play from Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge (Tyrus who?). Truth be told, I predicted that once Oden returned they would be a fixture in the Western Conference playoffs for years to come. So as far as that prediction goes, I’m still looking solid. Verdict: I underestimated you young padawan learner.

Atlanta Hawks
I said (35-47)
They went (37-45)

Hey SHOOT-TA! My first money prediction. I didn’t see them making the playoffs as an 8th seed, but honestly, I didn’t know the East was going to be THIS miserable. Verdict: I am all that is man!

Houston Rockets
I said (51-31)
They went (55-27)

I was a big fan of this squad at the beginning of the season. I even drafted Yao on one of my fantasy teams and I scooped up Rafer Alston (the most underrated player in the NBA) on another team. Their winning streak was surprising, but nothing was fluky about it. While I understand that they are playing a solid Utah team in the first round without home court advantage, I think this series goes seven games. Luis Scola bitches. Verdict: I feel like I’m getting into a groove here.

Sacramento Kings
I said (35-47)
They went (38-44)

There is absolutely no upside to this team. Bad contracts, old players, yawning fans. They traded Mike Bibby and nobody noticed. Kevin Martin is NOT, I repeat, NOT an Alpha dog. Ron Artest had a nice year, but who cares? The Western Conference smokes mediocre teams. My prediction was very good, but with a team this nondescript it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. Verdict: I’ve been 3-for-3 lately, I foresee badness.

L.A. Clippers
I said (32-50)
They went (23-59)

I’ll be honest with you. I didn’t watch a Clippers game all season. Here are their win totals for the previous 5 seasons: 28, 37, 47, 40, 23. Talk about your perfect bell curves. Verdict: I guess we’re back to the Clippers of old. I’ll make a note of it.

Orlando Magic
I said (44-38)
They went (52-30)

I finished my prediction with this sentiment: “Interesting team, maybe a year away.” Well, I think I got my answer a year early. Every pundit who condemned picking a high schooler (Howard) over a collegiate national champion (Okafor) should hang up their mics or drop their pens. While it’s a good precept, it’s also important to actually LOOK at the players involved. Howard is going to play in MULTIPLE Finals once all is said and done. Also, shame on every team picking in the teens of the 2004 draft. How do you let Jameer Nelson fall to the 20th pick? We knew it was a steal when it happened, but now we know it was a huge steal. If only they didn’t give a max contract to Rashard Lewis, I would absolutely love everything about this team. That being said, they aren’t beating Detroit in the second round. Maybe a year away. Verdict: I’m actually glad I was proven wrong on this one. Dwight Howard is going to be wearing a gold medal by the end of this summer, eventually he’ll be able to hang that off an Finals MVP trophy. Yeah, I said it.

Detroit Pistons
I said (48-34)
They went (59-23)

I hate this team. Verdict: I REALLY hate this team.

L.A. Lakers
I said (41-41)
They went (57-25)

The wheels really came off on this pick, but I have some reasons why:

1) Kobe Bryant was acting like a petulant kid all preseason. He was surly and venting to Dan Patrick on the radio and looking like an asshole. Then the season starts, Phil Jackson starts darting him with relaxation tonic and he starts playing inspired team ball. He’ll probably win the MVP (even though Chris Paul deserves it) and his ability to play through pain displays a sense of urgency about this era of his career.

2) Andrew Bynum made the jump from serviceable to downright studly. I didn’t know this was going to happen.

3) They got two and a half months of Pau Gasol for Kwame Brown and a bag of Fritos. This trade was criminal even if Memphis was just making the trade as a salary dump. Shave some money for cap space with your third or fourth best player, but not your franchise player. Just inexcusable. Verdict: My bad. This was probably my worst prediction in the West.

Charlotte Bobcats
I said (40-42)
They went (32-50)

For the first time in three years, the Bobcats took a big step backwards. I really wanted this team to succeed but it just really wasn’t meant to be. I like the Wallace, Richardson, Felton trio at guard but they are built too much like the Bulls. Bad shooting nights will ultimately doom them. Verdict: They are getting back Adam Morrison next year and I’m going to predict a 28-win season. These things are related.

Dallas Mavericks
I said (59-23)
They went (51-31)

I believe that this prediction is sound, but the Mavs were victims of so many other teams stepping it up this year in the West (Lakers, Hornets, Houston). I think Dallas has a reasonable shot at knocking off the upstart Hornets in the first round, but it all comes down to their two big names. Kidd can lead but can’t shoot, Dirk can shoot but can’t lead. If they can somehow balance their presences and get consistent production from Josh Howard and Jason Terry then they might move on. How far is up to them. Verdict: My early success has fizzled. I’m just happy if I’m within 10 games now.

Golden State Warriors
I said (46-36)
They went (48-34)

I’ll admit it. I follow Oakland teams. In the Western Conference, I pull for the Warriors. In the American League, I like the Athletics. When it comes to my favorite NFL Films clip, it’s not even a question. I want to watch John Madden standing around dumbfounded after witnessing the holy roller while Bill King emotes: “Madden is on the field, he wants to know if it’s real. They said ‘Yes, get your big butt outta here. He does!’” Verdict: I know my Warriors. The playoffs are worse for not having them.

Minnesota Timberwolves
I said (29-53)
They went (22-60)

I didn’t watch a Timberwolves game all season either. I was generous with my prediction because I though there was some chance they were scrappy enough to win some games they weren’t supposed to. Evidently, my optimism was misguided. Verdict: Not perfect, but in the ballpark.

Toronto Raptors
I said (44-38)
They went (41-41)

I think the Raptors are going to finish within five games of .500 for the next five seasons and never make it out of the second round. I said earlier that I thought Orlando (Howard) and Toronto (Bosh) would clash famously in the 2011 Eastern Conference Finals. No more. There is a word that comes to mind when I think of Toronto and it’s vanilla. As a flavor vanilla isn’t bad, but let’s face it, it’s not all that great either. Verdict: A layup.

Chicago Bulls
I said (50-32)
They went (33-49)

WHAT THE FUCK. I’m officially embarrassed. I enjoyed the early Chandler/Curry years more than this one. I don’t feel bad about my prediction because lots of people had them making some noise in the playoffs, but how exactly did things fall apart so majestically from the start? I think it’s finally obvious that we should have made a big trade at some point over the last two seasons to address inside scoring. Ben Wallace was a debacle. Scott Skiles (who I still like) was dealt a hand of starters with contract issues and rookies with bad attitudes. I’ll be honest, I watched exactly three Bulls games after Christmas and twice they involved Lebron James. I’m just befuddled. Everything I liked about this team the past four years is gone or substantially marginalized. Ben Gordon is not worth 10 million dollars a season and we should not pay him that. I like Drew Gooden, but what are we going to do with Larry Hughes in an already crowded backcourt? We have like half a ping pong ball which means we’ll end up missing out on the Rose/Beasley/Love express and we still have to shop for a new coach. What a shit show. Verdict: Kill yourself.

"IN YOUR LIFE, have you seen anything like that?"

2008-04-08T06:32:00.000-07:00

Once ESPN begins to replay Verne Lundquist's infamous call of Tiger's shot on # 16, "Redbud", my excitement level grows exponentially. Just ask Lady, who has been forced, over the last three + weeks, to endure endless hours of golf coverage simply because majors season approached. But finally, Masters week arrives. For any fan of the game, the Masters has its own place in golfing lore. Sure the Open Championship (the British Open) is the most historically significant, and is played on traditional seaside links courses (upon which the game as we know it was founded). The U.S. Open likewise presents a certain "je ne sais quoi", or indefinable characteristic (look at how many collapses and redemptions have taken place in the history of the tournament, most notably Payne Stewart). But the Masters has one thing all the other majors do not - Augusta National Golf Club. It is the only major that does not rotate the course on which it is played. Every year players make the drive down Magnolia Lane to the distinctive clubhouse, with its resplendent southern charm, preparing themselves for what is regarded by many as one of the most difficult courses in the world.

During the television coverage of "the most prestigious golf tournament in the world", so much of the course's difficulty can be undervalued. For one, Augusta National has an extremely hilly topography. The effect of this terrain is described by so many of the seasoned veterans of the Masters. They try to explain the difficulty of hitting a shot, on a sidehill-downhill hook lie (the hill slopes from high right to low left) to a green sloping in the opposite direction (meaning the ideal shot would be sweeping fade, shaping the shot left to right with the slope of the green). And the undulations throughout the course continue to challenge every player's ability to play shots that require incredible precision, ability, and understanding of all the little things that can affect the shot. Not to mention, this course is LOOONNNG and peppered with many, very large, trees.

When you add this to the famously pacy greens (on which a certain Tiggy Woo has, multiple times mind you, managed to putt from the surface into the rough or a hazard) the true scope of the difficulty of the course is apparent. A downhill putt on these surfaces requires the utmost in control over the flat-stick. Any mis-hit will undoubtedly result in a putt that races past the cup with almost unfathomable speed. It is brilliant to behold, and frightening to imagine.

All of this makes for a tremendous viewing experience, one that I await every year with childlike anticipation. As for prognosticating, anyone who's tried to guess the top ten of a major field will tell you how difficult it is, as previous rounds count for little when faced with the sternest tests of the year. Who in their right mind doesn't have Tiger as the front runner? Obviously he is the first choice for me as well. Geoff Ogilvy has rounded into superb form as of late, and his high shot shape, delicate touch in the short game, and decent length off the tees could certainly put him towards the front of the pack. The only worry is whether he will be able to keep his drives in the right places. As for other foreign players who should play well at Augusta, I would expect that Lee Westwood, Henrik Stenson, Martin Kaymer, and Tim Clark are names to keep an eye on, with Westwood and Kaymer having great years so far on the Euro Tour, Henrik Stenson utilizing ex-Nick Faldo caddy Fanny Sunesson, and Tim Clark being Tim Clark, hitting fairways and precise iron shots. For the Americans, the young Hunter Mahan could start showing up more as the weekend moves on, also some crafty vets like Steve Stricker and Justin Leonard should post a couple of good rounds. Another young American who could surprise some people will be Brandt Snedeker. Though he hasn't shown the form that earned him Rookie of the Year honors last season, I honestly believe he has a game suited to difficult tests such as Augusta.

And if none of this is right, no biggie. I'm gonna enjoy every second of my favorite tournament of the year while I bask in glorious (and much deserved, I might add) sunshine. Mahalo.

Footy Notes:
Pompey has secured their first trip to an F.A. Cup final since 1939, and will meet Cardiff City at Wembley Stadium. Good Luck to the Portsmouth side and our own benny c. Play up Pompey.

Liverpool and Arsenal play the deciding match today in their Champions League tie. The Reds have got a very important away goal, but this match looks to be every bit as nervy as the most recent two fixtures between the sides. COME ON YOU REDMEN!!!!

Fukudome Fever

2008-04-07T08:06:00.000-07:00

Every year someone roars out of the MLB gates and threatens to break every record in the books. In 2006, a little known first baseman for the Tigers named Chris Shelton hit 9 homers in his first 13 games. The fantasy waiver wires were torrid with "adds" and Tim Kirkjian was asked numerous times, “Can he keep this up?” and “Is Shelton on the doorstep of the most unlikely MVP season ever?” As it turned out, he ended the season with 16 homers in 373 at bats and everyone felt a little sheepish about getting all worked up over such a small sample size. So I want to qualify my complete adoration of Kosuke Fukudome by saying: While I understand that he’s only had 24 plate appearances, his .542 OBP and stellar arm in right field make me truly optimistic that we have the NL ROY on our hands.

Wrigley is abuzz over Fukudome after his dramatic Opening Day three-run homer off Eric Gagne to square the score in the bottom of the ninth. He’s only added to his status as an overnight legend in the coming days with timely hits, go-ahead RBI’s and frozen ropes to the plate. He’s received standing ovations, “we’re not worthy” salamis usually reserved Cubbie royalty and chants galore from the faithful. While it’s fairly typical for newly acquired players with hot starts to be embraced with open arms, this whole situation feels different. The intriguing cultural differences, the measured responses with interpreters and the uncertainty about how he’d fare against Major League pitching all hung precariously above our heads since his much ballyhooed signing. After only a handful of games and mere drop in the statistical bucket, we’ve got a pretty good idea at what all the fuss is about. Kosuke Fukudome is a ball player. His swing is as sweet as Sandburg, his command of the strikezone is Grace-like and the cannon affixed to his right arm rivals Dawson. His approach at the plate is incredible. I’ve seen him swing at ONE bad pitch so far this season and that was because the ump was calling strikes very liberally low and inside and he had to protect the plate with a two-strike count.

If you think I’m blowing his hot start out of proportion, you may be right. After all, there will be slumps and regression and bad breaks. However, I love the way this guy plays the game. I’ve always admired Ichiro and his abilities but I’ve never had the luxury of watching him over the course of many games. The small things that Japanese players do are interesting. In one game against the Brewers last week, Fukudome was on second and DeRosa was on first with one out. The pitch was low, in the dirt and squirted away from Kendall but only momentarily. DeRosa sold out and broke for second immediately while Fukudome shrewdly drifted off second only about 25 feet to gauge whether or not advancing was an option. DeRosa painted him into a corner by streaking to second after a nice block at the plate my Kendall. Upon a split second appraisal of the situation, Fukudome moved equidistant to second and third and froze while Kendall charged across the infield giving DeRosa time to make it safely to second and preserve the runner in scoring position. While not an extraordinary play, it was punctuated by a calmness of character that kept his team threatening. He bailed out a teammate who screwed him over. To me, that train of thought is everything. Filling the spot where Sammy once stood, he’s already proven that he understands more about winning baseball than our once Dominican slugger ever did. Sosa would swing for the fences late in a game when a single would do, frantically chopping away at the ball for his own glory. Many would argue that this approach was how he found his way into The Show in the first place, so why would he change his stripes now? It’s a good point, but one I would now ask about Kosuke. Despite the language barrier, what does he have in common with the once celebrated, now reviled Sosa. The answer: very little. Fukudome is a Cub today because of his ability to get on base, which is the trademark of the ultimate teammate. Ask any true baseball fan, there is absolutely nothing flash-in-the-pan about that.

Baseball Links

2008-03-29T06:42:00.000-07:00

Benny and I have two baseball drafts today, one AL Only and one NL Only. They are both live online auction drafts which will probably end up taking in excess of 6 hours to complete. On a related note, I have been awake since 5am, worked out, had coffee, showered and taken my dog for a walk… all before 9am. I’m a bundle of nervous energy. On a completely unrelated note, it’s supposed to be sunny and in the low 60’s today in Charlottesville. Who knows, I might even step outside between drafts and enjoy it for a few minutes. But in the end, I think we all know the only sunburn I’m going to get today is from my computer screen and I’m OK with that.

We are on the doorstep of my favorite season. I acknowledge the NFL as a close second, but for my money nothing will ever equal an afternoon at the ballpark. There’s something so distinctly American about a hot dog and a cold beer and some sunflower seeds. I can’t get over the fact that my mind aches for baseball as early as January and doesn’t dissipate until the final out has been tallied. Waking up this week and watching a couple of meaningful innings between the Red Sox and Athletics has been good for my soul and now, with the REAL Opening Day just hours away, I’m obliged to share some links while I kneed the same sweaty glove in anticipation for the glorious centennial of my beloved Cubbies.

- I’ve been reading the Roto Arcade pieces on Yahoo Sports lately by Andy Behrens and found them to be interesting if not downright enjoyable. The one that had Benny chirping recently that his drafting strategies of the past were “ahead of their time” was an article entitled: Head-to-Head Strategy: the Distler School of Management. The basic premise was that this kid would draft all pitchers in the first 12 rounds of head2head leagues and then round out his position players with stolen base aficionados in order to win every week 6-4. It’s an interesting strategy, but the razor thin margin for error makes this endeavor seem fruitless. Also, there’s really no fun in this practice unless your only goal is making money… which leads me to the next link…

- I rather liked Cracked.com's Who’s in your fantasy league? This is personally rewarding because my boy Benny C falls into many of these categories simultaneously: The Stat Pro, The Dark Horse Guy, The You Stole My Pick Guy and The Awful Pick Guy. He’s also the guy who said (and I quote), “Chipper Jones falling to me with the 12th overall pick is like Peyton Manning falling to me with the 10th overall pick the year he threw for 47 touchdowns.” I’m not sure what his BAC level was when he typed these words, but really, there is no feasible reality where this makes any sense.

- This is less of a link and more of a straight forward endorsement. These guys are pound for pound some of the funniest writers on the internet with respect to any genre, plus they dress down all the idiotic baseball writers that plague this fine country. If you have any love for baseball and its minutia and you enjoy laughing, there’s no reason why you don’t check this site at least once a week.

- I find Jay Mariotti’s brand of over the top bravado to be sad and pathetic. The fact that he is gainfully employed as an opinion maker in print, radio AND television in my hometown is a sad fact that I carry around like a great boulder of shame. It’s basically what’s wrong with sports coverage today. For every Peter Gammons and Tony Kornheiser, there are 10 Mariotti’s. Jay the Joke's take on the Brian Roberts no deal was predictable, obnoxious and poorly written. However, The Heckler took a different approach to the whole saga did considerably better. Either way, I feel like B Rob, steroids baggage and all would have been a huge boost. It really makes me hope this Gallagher kid pans out THIS YEAR, otherwise I’ll be a little cheesed.

- UmpBump’s milestones to watch for outline quite a year ahead of us. I'm not sure how much the homerun statistic means anymore, but I love when careers are put in perspective and big round numbers flash on the Jumbotron while they round the bases.

Some YouTube Classics:

George Carlin's Baseball vs. Football
Probably one of Carlin's best bits ever.

Baseball Great moments
Not gunna lie, I got some goosebumps watching this.

Lee Elia Tirade
I have no idea why this Cubs manager got fired the day after this innocent enough soundbite.

Growing Another Year Older in the Kerry Wood Era

2008-03-18T21:53:00.001-07:00

Kerry Wood managed to sit down 20 Houston Astros on May 6th, 1998 by means of the strikeout in only his fifth major league start. It was a one-hit, no walk piece of pitching mastery. He joined Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens (who did it twice) as the only other pitchers to ever attain that tremendous distinction (The Big Unit’s game went 11 innings but he recorded all 20 strikeouts in the first nine innings of work. MLB has recently recognized this as having tied the record). According to statistician Bill James’s Game Score system, which attempts to assign a numerical value to a start, Wood’s performance scored a 105, the highest baseball history.

Today, we’re only seven weeks out from the 10th anniversary of The Kerry Wood Game. When this young Texas fireballer hit the scene the Cubs were merely the Sammy Sosa show with manager Jim Riggleman serving as the maestro of mediocrity. Things seemed to change that May afternoon because we had something to believe in, an anchor for the future. Wood won the ROY in 1998 with the following line: 13-6, 166 IP, 3.40 ERA, 233 K’s, 85 BB’s. The Cubbies made the playoffs as a wildcard and were promptly swept out of the postseason by the loaded Braves. Everyone always remembers that season as the Sosa-McGuire summer, but I’ll always remember it as something more. It was the year we got our first glimpse of Kerry Wood.

Cubs Haters and Masters of the Obvious love to point out that he’s only been an All-Star once, never won 15 games and only pitched over 200 innings twice. He’s considered a bust by all reasonable definitions of that word. Well, that’s only part of the story. For every Cubs fan, Kerry Wood represents something bigger than just his numbers. He’s pitched for the Cubs in three separate postseason appearances, something not many players can claim. He stroked one of the most memorable homeruns of my life (Game 7 of the 2003 NLCS). He took the hometown discount and assumed a new role for the good of the team. While I understand that he's only pitched 44 innings in the past two years (by far the least productive period of his career), I've got this feeling like he's finally healthy for once. This is the first time he's started the season off the DL and in the bullpen. I’m not exactly sure what to expect, but I wouldn't be shocked if he regained some of that magic we all know is there. I'm an optimist by necessity which is why I believe March is the greatest baseball month of the year. I also believe that Marmol, Howry and Wood in the 7th, 8th and 9th is a pretty damn ferocious trio. Opening Day can't come soon enough...

And without further ado, I give you the man I consider the second Mr. Cub of the modern era (after Ryno)...

Not so Crazy (Elite) Eight

2008-03-17T06:18:00.000-07:00

In a nod to the NCAA Tournament Selection Committee and to the dominance of four 1-seeds during the season, it would seem that this year there will not be too many surprises at the top of the bracket and the numbers bear this out.

Using the criterion established in the first part of this post in selecting which teams are most likely to reach the Elite Eight (i.e. record vs. top 50 RPI, undefeated vs. RPI 100+, > 6-4 record in the 10 games preceding the NCAA Tournament, top 15 in either Ken Pomeroy's adjusted offensive efficiency or adjusted defensive efficiency), 7 teams (North Carolina, Tennessee, Kansas, Wisconsin, Georgetown, Memphis, and Xavier) perfectly match the qualities of the group that made up 2007's Elite Eight. This is somewhat problematic because 7 doesn't make 8 unless you're this guy and because Georgetown and Wisconsin are slated to play each other in the Sweet Sixteen Round (thus only 1 of them will reach the Elite Eight), leaving 2 spots to be filled by teams with some blemishes according to this rubric.

North Carolina, Tennessee, Kansas, and Memphis, not surprisingly, are the best bets to win each of their first 3 games of the NCAA Tournament. They are 1, 2, 5, 3 in RPI, respectively, and have dominated RPI Top 50 foes to the tune of 34-7 and, with the exception of Tennessee, are in the Top 5 in efficiency ratings. Accordingly, of this group, I believe that Tennessee will have the most difficulty in advancing to the end of the Regionals because they face a stern tests against Butler and Louisville.

Moving on to the 5th Elite Eight team, Xavier may be somewhat of a surprise as they are projected to face Duke in the Sweet Sixteen. Xavier advances here because Duke has lost 4 games in the past month (to Wake Forest, Miami, North Carolina, and Clemson), which is disturbing because before the Wake Forest game, Duke had only lost once the entire year and because Xavier is clearly superior to 3 of the 4 teams on that list. Additionally, the Selection Committee has finally taken Duke's dick out of its mouth and for the first time in recent memory, has sent the Blue Devils out West, far from the homecourt advantage they have been afforded when playing in Charlotte, Greensboro, or Raleigh.

In the potentially epic Wisconsin-Georgetown throwdown, both teams bring equally impressive performances during the regular season. Wisconsin has the slight edge because of 3 factors: (i) the game will be played in Detroit, easily accessible to the minions of Badger-faithful who have a reputation for traveling well to neutral sites; (ii) Wisconsin has won its last 10 games, including a relatively easy romp through the Big 10 Tournament; and (iii) Defense wins championships (or, in this case, a berth to the Elite Eight). Wisconsin's adjusted defensive efficiency, measuring points allowed for every 100 possessions, block rate, steal rate, turnover percentage, defensive rebounding percentage, etc., is #1 in Division I.

Now to the two remaining spots to be filled by a marginally "flawed" team. Initially, before the brackets were released, I eliminated UCLA and Texas for the sole reason that they were not perfect against teams with an RPI over 100, the logic being that a single loss to a team that they should not only beat, but beat convincingly, is indicative of a dearth in focus or a susceptibility to playing to their opponents' level and would leave them vulnerable to losing once in the first 3 games of the Tournament. A loss to Washington or Missouri (albeit a road loss) is borderline inexcusable in much the same way that it is inexcusable to finish with a sub .500 record against the Top 50 in RPI. But, like UNLV last year, UCLA and Texas will be the exceptions to the rule because they are strong by all the other measures of a team's success.

I know these picks are not necessarily sexy (no seed lower than 3 will make it past the Sweet Sixteen) or may not be a real revelation given the strength of the contenders, but I've done this more as an experiment to determine a system for making better predictions and providing some sensical way to interpret the data we're bombarded with during March Madness. 1 or 2 Elite Eight teams wrong is a failure and will require a broader study of NCAA Tournament history.
4 or more teams wrong and I'll beg you to never bring this up again and I promise to never to write authoritatively about college basketball.

For the record, for the rest of the bracket, I think this year will be devoid of 12-5 upsets, the 6-11 and 7-10 games will be split by the higher and lower seeds, 8s will beat 9s (3-1), and the 1-seeds will all advance to the Final Four for the first time since the 1985 when the bracket expanded to accomodate 64 teams. Oddly enough, because this prediction is at odds with an established historical trend, if any of the 1-seeds are going to be upset it's going to occur in the Elite Eight.

In the most unpredictable playoff of them all, only one thing is for sure. We'll all know how wrong I am on March 28th.

I Shouldn't Gloat...but I will

2008-03-10T12:16:00.000-07:00

In England this past weekend, the quarterfinal matches of the F.A. Cup were played out on multiple and diverse pitches. For those of us who watched our clubs plummet out of the competition, there seemed little of interest in the fixture list which pitted a couple of championship sides against a pair of remaining Premier League squads, a lower league knockdown-drag out-back-alley style brawl, and an enticing Prem. v. Prem. game which most certainly had our own benny c fluctuating in waves of excitement and dread (that is, if his mild depression of late over the loss of a certain number 4 of the green and gold persuasion had finally abated enough for him to resume normal activity/inactivity). This last match certainly had my attention, as it pitted the bitter rivals of my beloved LFC, Manchester United, against the titans of the south coast, Portsmouth. I had everything going for me in this one, a vested interest on behalf of a buddy and a seething antipathy for their overly-glorified opposition, and at Old Trafford no less. Needless to say, but my affections were overwhelmingly in favor of Pompey, those wacky port-towners.

The game itself was a great watch, despite what so many ignorant footy-haters say about 1-0 matches that are decided late on. There were goal line clearances, superb shots followed by stunning saves, committed defensive displays (which was a bit surprising given some rather lackluster displays by the Portsmouth back line in the League), and plenty of talking points regarding refereeing decisions. In the end, Pompey snuck away victorious and based solely on the match action, the result matched the play on the pitch. This may seem overstated, as United controlled the vast majority of the game, but Pompey’s timely and steadfast defending deserved, at the very least, a clean sheet. Based on the last ditch efforts and the manner in which the Portsmouth defense continued to block shots and attacking moves, they deserved no less than a replay and instead got the bit of good fortune they needed to dispatch the Red Devils on their home pitch for the first time since 1957. The defending was such that no Man of the Match could be singled out from the back line. Instead, the match ball should be shared by Glen Johnson, Sylvain Distin, Sol Campbell, Hermann Hreidarsson, Lassana Diarra, and my favorite name to say, Papa Bouba Diop. Of course, Sulley Muntari does deserve a great bit of credit for finishing a result well earned with yet another powerful, yet coolly taken penalty. Said penalty was earned after former Red, Milan Baros, broke in on goal, only to be felled by United’s back-up keeper Tomasz Kuszczak. While I can agree that this could easily have not been called, United have always seemed to benefit from questionable decisions. For this LFC supporter, the irony and the resulting Alex Ferguson tirade/tantrum, were just too delicious for words. Congratulations to Pompey. The road to the final has been thinned.

This thinning of the top tier of the field was done by Robbie Fowler’s (known simply as God by all Liverpool supporters) new club Cardiff City, who dispatched Middlesbrough fairly competently with two splendid goals; one after some deft maneuvering and a stupendous finish by Peter Whittingham and the other from a dead ball crossed by Whittingham and headed home by Roger Johnson. And these two goals within 25 minutes after kick-off held up, as the Bluebirds sent Boro home nursing a 2-0 defeat. The others of the two Premiership sides to fall at the hands of Championship opposition were the mighty billionaires of Chelsea F.C. They, like the Reds, tumbled out of the competition at the hands of Barnsley (who shall now be known as David, slayer of GoliathS). It was a tough match on an unfavorable pitch at the home of Barnsley, Oakwell Stadium, but there were ample opportunities for the Blues to dispatch the plucky Championship outfit. Just like United however, a wealth of chances resulted in a dearth of goals and now Chelsea find themselves relegated to watching the Cup Final on the tele with the rest of the “Big Four”.

And now I must restate: THIS IS WHY THE F.A. CUP IS THE BEST DOMESTIC CUP COMPETITION IN THE WORLD.

What a great weekend.

Sean Singletary's Legacy

2008-03-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

Sean Singletary arrived at Virginia the year after I graduated. I remember talking to Benny on the eve of the 2004-05 college basketball season and asking him what he had heard of the new recruits. He simply told me, “I’ve heard this Singletary kid can play.”

By all standards, the Wahoo Men’s Basketball program was in disarray when Benny and I left to seek gainful employment. Save for some Todd Billet sharp shooting heroics, our bubble seemed to continuously burst every February. They played sloppy, uninspired, plodding basketball. Our big man was talented but ate too much, now he’s an NBDL All-Star which is like winning the sack race at summer camp. It’s an accomplishment, sure, but you’re back to sleeping on a cot at the end of the day. Our point guard notoriously got into fist fights at bars and regularly told every white woman in earshot that he had something for them to do... “this dick” (true story). He finished his collegiate career playing at Murray State and fervently followed the specifics of statutory consent laws within the great state of Kentucky. The coach was gregarious and had a great Brooklyn accent, but his likability could only serve him through so many losing seasons. Therefore, it’s ironic (I’m not sure if I’m using that right, I gotta consult Alanis) that Pete Gillen’s best contribution as coach of the Cavs was to recruit Sean Singletary.

Last night Sean Singletary had his Senior Night. He had his jersey retired, scored his 2,000th point and led his team to victory over the Maryland Terrapins. In my 18 years of watching Virginia basketball, there has never been a more beloved player and better ambassador for the University. He carried this program to new heights with his gritty, yet understated leadership. He embodied Tom Landry’s mantra, “Act like you’ve been there before”. After a sensational drive to the basket or circus shot, he’d very rarely pound his chest or gesture to the crowd. The closest he came to posturing was when he pointed at the ESPN camera after beating Duke last year with a baseline fallaway, but that wasn’t him being cocky, that was just him being awesome:

What I loved most about the Singletary era of Virginia basketball was his heart. He played through hip pointers, sustained flus and questionable supporting casts with determination and resolve. He CARED about the team and was humble enough to understand the dynamic of winning basketball. After an emotional Senior Night, he joked that he had cried so much after the team’s loses this season that he didn’t have any tears left. I think a defining moment for Sean came at the end of the Tennessee game in the NCAA tourney last year. He had a chance to send the game to overtime and possibly propel UVa to their first Sweet Sixteen since 1995. His last second three-pointer drew the back iron and he collapsed to the floor, sobbing. For me, this was a disappointing outcome, but based on his reaction, you could see that Sean was forever changed. His best shot at a winner was gone and in that moment you could see how bright his fire burned for this team, for this game.

My hopes are that he gets drafted in the late first round by a playoff team because many perennial lottery teams will be scared off by his size. I think he’ll be a liability on defense against bigger guards, but could be used very effectively as a change of pace floor general much like Earl Boykins or Devin Harris. Either way, he’s a legend in Charlottesville no matter what his NBA career ultimately becomes. It’s going to be difficult to face next season without him, but underclassmen like Lars, Baker, Diane, Tucker and Scott have shown enough promise to settle the initial fear of life without #44. Chris Long and Sean Singletary both moving on in the same season, it’s truly a sad year in Hooville.

The Black and Blue Division just lost a Hero

2008-03-06T13:36:00.001-08:00

Ben and I spoke the other day in muted tones. His pain was all too evident (even over IM) when ESPN started the continuous coverage of Brett Lorenzo Favre after the announcement of his retirement. Ben said, “I’m baffled. Why this year? The team is as good as ever.” I tried to sympathize with him by sharing my experience of losing MJ to his second retirement. I even tried quipping that at least Brett wouldn’t play two lackluster seasons with the Redskins for no discernable reason. While I couldn’t see his expressions, I could sense that these sentiments were falling on the deaf ears of a shocked and saddened man. I asked him if he was going to write a “thank you” post recalling epic moments that shaped his football watching life, but he replied, “We’ll see, it’s just not real right now. He can still change his mind, you know, like midseason when the pack is 4-4. It’s better for me emotionally not to have to confront this until September.”

And you know what? I respect that. I listened to his press conference today and I was touched at how humble and emotional he was about the game of football, the Packers and his life in general. I always knew this about the man, but you never realize it as much as when it’s leaving your life. As a Bears fan, I hated the fact that I was conditioned to hate him. Truth be told, I never really hated him. I just grew frustrated that, since I was eleven years old, my team had to play him twice a year. Never have I seen a player command such a deserving respect from everyone who watched him, on and off the field. I can’t do this moment justice, but I just wanted to put in my two cents. It’s a sad day for the game of football.

For this reason, as well as many others, I understand why Ben doesn’t want to directly address this issue. After all, Spring Training is underway. March Madness is a scant two weeks away. UEFA Cup contestants will be whittled down to eight teams by next week. The NBA West playoffs will be required viewing for every true basketball fan with a pulse. Why complicate such a joyous sports atmosphere with such delicate emotions that arrive when your childhood hero decides to hang up the pads? Benny, don’t pen a word about it until you are ready. It’s completely understandable. All I want to say from one friend to another, that if this sticks, then I don’t envy your Sunday’s from here on out. You’ll be watching a completely different game than the one you’ve been experiencing since 1992. One consolation (if you can call it that) is that you do have three selections in the first two rounds of the NFL Draft next month. The Legend of Favre grows and lives in the stories and DVD’s you hold dear. The sun will shine again and the snow will fall again at Lambeau. Hey, come to think of it.. wasn’t John David Booty also a discounted product of the Gulf Coast region too? Did somebody leave a window open? God... is that you?

Sorry, not funny. I take it back.

The World is Our Oyster (cuz that's literally all it is)

2008-03-06T09:35:00.000-08:00

In most of my posts, I’ve been harping on and on (and on and on and on and on) about how Liverpool’s position in the table was not necessarily a true indication of where they could be because, for the better part of this season, they had played one fewer game than their closest competitors. Yesterday evening the Reds got their opportunity to overtake fourth place from local rivals Everton F.C. – which they did by bludgeoning West Ham United. A 4-nil defeat of the Hammers edged Liverpool F.C. just in front of the Toffees on goal differential alone (which grew thanks to the lopsided score-line). It appears as though Liverpool are beginning to find their chemistry and form when it matters most – the stretch run. They have found themselves in the midst of a clusterfuck for the last Champions League place and fighting against a very in form Everton, a consistent Aston Villa side, and a host of others closing in (Blackburn, Manchester City, and even Portsmouth). As the title race heats up, the relegation battle rages, and said rat screw for European berths consolidates, there is a great deal to enjoy during this last quarter of the season.

Now, some examination of Liverpool’s recent hot streak is necessary as it illustrates some of my previous points regarding the overtly lackluster middle portion of this campaign. First, and most importantly, is the sizzling form of Fernando Torres. He recorded a second consecutive hat-trick at Anfield, the first time that has happened for the Redmen since 1946. The post match remarks expounded on his delight and educed his true humility. Nando stated,

“I only learned of the record after the game and it is a big honour for me. This club has a wonderful history so to be a part of that is very special and it is something I am very proud of. But it is also a record for everyone at the club because it would be impossible for me to score goals if it was not for my team-mates, the manager, the coaching staff, everyone. I feel really lucky and also humble to be loved by the crowd but what I would say is that I love them also. They have supported me since I first came to the club and I want to keep on scoring goals for them. The Liverpool fans are special and it is an honour for me to play for them, so if I can make them happy then I will be happy.”

Such genuine reluctance to grab his nuts and say “I know you all want these. Approach softly and caress them lovingly with your tongues!” belies his on-field demeanor. He is a badass who puts himself about – he disrupts the defenders, aggressively pursues any ball which he feels he can win, and punishes defences who feel they may be able to bully him out of the match. Finding a centre forward who: works so hard for the team on defense, pulls men out wide to open up space, or carries himself with such dignity and humility appears nearly impossible in modern sport. Yet, Liverpool F.C. have two such players. Even during a season that could only be described as an absolute howler, by himself to boot, Dirk Kuyt never stopped his renowned engine. ‘Twas a thing of beauty to watch the way the forward four players discomposed the Hammers’ back line during the match Wednesday. Many attribute this kind of high tempo to the way the forwards set about in the early stages of a match, basically alluding to a contagious commitment and sense of purpose. This point may be tough to argue, especially considering the Reds recent consistency in attack has coincided with Dirk Kuyt’s reemergence from the doldrums.

Another important factor in examining the sensational offensive displays of late is Rafael Benitez’s shift from a traditional 4-4-2 formation. Normally, English sides prefer the fairly simple set-up as it covers all aspects of the field and allows for natural two-pronged counter and build-up attacks. However, Rafa has recently employed a slightly more complex 4-2-3-1 because of his wealth in the centre of midfield and seeming lack of depth in the wide areas. Don’t misinterpret me here, I love Yossi Benayoun and Jermaine Pennant, but both lack certain qualities which Dirk Kuyt more completely displays on the right side of midfield. Yossi can finish with the best of them (as evidenced by his multiple hat tricks and other goals) but lacks in defensive awareness and staying wide to cross the ball. Jermaine likewise sometimes displays slipshod defending, but excels in stretching the opposition defense by utilizing the wide spaces and in lobbing crosses into the box as if from a fully automatic foot powered weapon, but rarely scores. Because of this, Rafa is most confident with variations on this lineup:

Reina

Arbeloa/Finnan – Carra/Skrtel – Skrtel/Hyypia – Riise/Aurelio

Alonso/Lucas – Masch/ Lucas

Kuyt/Pennant -- Gerrard -- Babel/Yossi

Torres

In this style of play, Gerrard roams freely in support of Fernando and the wide players as an attacking midfielder. He can interchange with either side, allowing the adept finishers in Babel and Kuyt to push inside and get into scoring postitions. There is a great deal of freedom in this system, but it took some time for most of these players to gain confidence in their own field/play awareness to adopt such a style. Considering the vast majority of this squad is still new to Liverpool F.C., with most only having been at the club for 1-1/2 to 2 years (with some key members in only their first season), it should come as no surprise that implementing a more complex system would take some time. But, from what I can gather, Rafa utilized this system at his previous club, Valencia, to resounding success and had wanted to do the same at LFC. Once he felt the personnel was equal to the task, he set about implementing it, to rave reviews. During their four game win streak they have outscored their opposition 12-3. During this span, less has been made of Rafa’s job security, especially since even the most adamant detractors can plainly see the success of so many of his signings. Young Lucas Leiva has dazzled, Ryan Babel gains more confidence every time he shreds the opposition fullbacks, Martin Skrtel has proved intelligent/aggressive/tactically astute/comfortable in possession, and Fernando Torres has been a revelation in only his first season in English Football, netting 24 times in all competitions after his latest hat trick. Finally, the confidence level swells before the supporters’ eyes. And ‘tis a beautiful thing.

Side Notes: I choose not to touch on all the reports of ownership shifts as this whole mess has been an embarrassment to the club. Whoever ends up with control must understand that there will not be an easy feeling amongst supporters towards the directorship until all the promises of last season’s take-over are made reality, and our beloved club returns to the “Liverpool Way” of staying out of the limelight, off the back pages, and lets the football, records, and trophies speak for themselves.

At the conclusion of last night's match, Steve Gerrard, Gerrard toyed with head referee Steve Bennett by playing keep-away with the match ball before yoinking it and handing it over to Fernando Torres. The joy on both of their mugs was tangible and illustrates their mutual admiration and also their places as two of the world's best. Oh, to be a part of a man-sandwich with those two as the bread.

Also, Adriana Monsalve is adorable and I no longer want anyone but her giving ESPN Deportes Updates regarding footy.

Your 2008 Bracket and the 2007 NCAA Tournament, Part 1

2008-02-26T06:02:00.000-08:00

Championship Week is exactly one week away and I haven't watched one regular season college basketball game in its entirety. I chalk it up to a massive NFL hangover and the fact that the Wahoos are setting themselves up nicely to participate in the play-in game in the ACC tournament. It is unfortunate that Sean Singletary, who plays with as much intensity, passion, and effort as anybody, has wasted a year watching his teammates fumble around and fuck things up by shooting, on average, 7-19 from three-point range and committing over 10 turnovers per game. The NBA beckons Sean, you'll be safe soon.

Anyway, as the magic of Selection Sunday and the pageantry of the NCAA Tournament approaches and the promise of sharpened pencils and blank brackets clipped from newspapers is nigh, I felt that this might be a good opportunity to make an effort look at our collective picks in a different way and to avoid several mistakes that we all make in picking each of the 64 games of the Tournament. My apologies in advance if any of the 5 of you reading this don't commit the following errors in making your bracket selections and for including you amongst the rest of us savages. Each year as we make our selections, we fail to look past the games of the season just past, relying on SOS, RPI, the talent of individual players, the location of the tournament sites, and the immutable law of the 12/5 upset.

Ultimately, in this first part, I am endeavoring to identify the characteristics of the types of teams that make it into the Elite Eight, and in the final part of this 2-part post (to be released once the brackets are out on March 16th), I will make my recommendations for the 2008 Elite Eight teams. Why the Elite Eight, you ask? Because a perfect 8 of 8 in your bracket at this stage in the tournament is an impressive accomplishment and does take skill that only comes with knowledge and the appropriate analysis (and sure, even a little bit of luck). Also, in typical pick 'em competition, entries are rewarded more points for having more teams picked correctly in the later rounds, so it pays more to be right later rather than earlier.

In our quixotic quest to pick each game correctly we tend to lose the forest for the trees. By working backwards and establishing the teams who have the best prospects to be in the Elite Eight even before the picks are made, we can take a lot of the guesswork out of picking the upsets (which will occur) and discourage the forlorn hope of trying to be the hero that picks UPenn over Texas A&M. Yes, by using only the 2007 season and Tournament I am attempting to prove my point with the smallest of sample sizes (and will thus be unable to predict once-in-a-fuck-lifetime occurrences like George Mason), but cut me some slack, you aren't paying me to write a book that delves into every single NCAA tournament since the 3-point line was adopted (though I reserve the right to sue anyone who steals this idea). In fact, you aren't even paying me at all.

As a refresher, the 2007 Elite Eight teams were Florida, UNC, Georgetown, Oregon, Ohio State, Memphis, Kansas, and UCLA. The team with the lowest RPI was Oregon (at 21), while each of the other 7 teams were in the top 11. This seems to be a better indicator of success in reaching this point in the NCAA Tournament than SOS as Florida, the eventual national champion had an SOS of 38, and Kansas, Memphis, and Oregon had relatively low SOSs of 58, 64, and 75 (it is also worth noting, however, that none of those teams reached the Final 4). None of the final eight teams lost to a team below an RPI of 100 during the regular season. This is helpful in weeding out pretenders from '07 like Southern Illinois, BYU, Creighton, Tennessee, Maryland, and Marquette (who were all in the Top 25 in RPI).

The question remains, how do we weed out the other teams in the RPI Top 25? Wisconsin, Pittsburgh, Kentucky, Arizona, Duke, Texas A&M, Villanova, Nevada, Michigan State, and Texas. Of those 10 teams, only Wisconsin and Duke finished above .500 against Top 50 RPI teams (it should be metioned that Memphis was 1-2 during the season against teams in this category). As we've seen in the last few years, a particularly informative statistic is a team's record in the 10 games prior to the Tournament. Of the Elite Eight teams in 2007, none finished below 7-3. Though I think these tools are useful initially in narrowing down teams that are viable candidates to reach the Elite Eight, further analysis is required to arrive at one's exact picks.

Thus far, I've only been identified factors that may, at the end of the day, can be drawn up to coincidence. I have not established in any detail, how the team has played during the season. For that, I have relied primarily on Ken Pomeroy's statistical analysis of offensive and defensive efficiency (the amount of points scored/allowed in 100 offensive/defensive possessions) for each team adjusted for other statistical measures (i.e. turnovers per offensive possession, offensive rebounds as a percentage of total rebounds, steals per defensive possession, etc.) These statistical measures not only tell us that these teams won, but how they won.

For adjusted offensive efficiency, no Elite Eight Team ranked below 25 and Oregon was the only team ranked below 20 (51) with respect to adjusted defensive efficiency. Each team finished at least in the top 15 in either adjusted offensive or defensive efficiency.

Although one must still consider other important factors like injuries, the sites at which the games will be played, and how teams will match-up against each other in the beginning and later rounds, I will primarily utilize the aforementioned considerations in culling the herd of 65 to select my horses.

Whatcha'll know about eight? Pay me.

To get the happy juices going just a little, enjoy some Luther.

The Equivalents

2008-02-23T17:31:00.000-08:00

I realized (after the fact) that I spent most my last post ragging on the Sports Guy's laughably audacious attempts at distilling 25 years of Hip Hop into four individuals. I can assure you, I didn't decide to write that mini-diatribe because I'm some miserable hater. I understand the "blogosphere" teems with cynicism and self-aggrandizement, but I am emboldened by the fact that we here at Bowler and Benny usually zig when others zag. I enjoy Benny and Dirt's perspective because they are not only dear friends but also enlightened gents in my estimation. Their interests in sports run similar to my own, but so too does their outlook on life. Their words insulate me. That being said, the purpose of these lines are not to cast ham-fisted detractions toward professional writers. That's shooting fish in a barrel territory. It's lazy and ineffectual. Therefore, I'm going to dedicate this post to Hip Hop and Sports - two things I hold near and dear to my heart. I give you "The Equivalents":

The Fugees and Julius Erving

The Fugees dropped The Score in 1996 when I was in 8th grade. It was unlike anything I'd ever heard before. I played the whole album straight through instead of first skipping around to the singles I'd heard on the radio. It's the first time my capricious MTV-addled mind did that. When the album was over, I went back to the first track and listened to it again. As far as I'm concerned, that was the most influential hip-hop album that nobody talks about today. The early 90's scene (while talented) was dominated by harsh lyrics, ghetto themes and linear content. The Fugees deviated so far from what was previously deemed commercially viable hip-hop that it barely resembled the same genre as the Chronic. By selling 18 million (worldwide copies to date), it singlehandedly changed what major labels where willing to explore. There wouldn't be a Common, Mos Def and Talib Kweli without the Fugees.

Julius Erving is completely overshadowed by Magic Johnson and Larry Bird as key authors of the NBA renaissance. The ABA/NBA merger happened because Dr. J gave that ENTIRE LEAGUE legitimacy. He was the first true artist of the dunk. He provided the blueprint for the more athletic up-and-coming players to utilize their finesse and creativity to be effective in what was previously a stringently system league. There would be no Michael Jordan without Julius Erving (MJ has even said as much). Between 1976 to 1983 the 76ers only failed to make the Eastern Conference Finals once, making the NBA Finals four times and winning it all once in 1983. The NBA and hip hop would not be the same without these two largely overlooked pioneers.

Nas's Illmatic and Devin Hester's rookie year

Nasir Jones was 19 years when he made Illmatic. This poetic classic was forged by a teenager in the Queensbridge housing projects in Brooklyn. Devin Hester was drafted in the second round as a defensive back who ended up having 6 TD returns (plus one to open the Superbowl) in his rookie year. In two years, he has become the greatest return man in NFL history. Basically, both of these guys produced such stunning debuts that they will forever be tied to them. They both came from nowhere to redefine "excellence" in their respective fields. However, as a Bears fan, I pray to God that I don't have to sit through a "Firm Biz" and "Hate Me Now" before I get a Stillmatic.

Oh, and Dustin, thanks again homey. I owe you big time for doubling back and nabbing that jersey for me.

A Tribe Called Quest and the 91-92 to 94-95 Knicks (Riley Era)

91-92: Regular Season (51-31) Lost in Eastern Conference Semis to Chicago in 7 games
92-93: Regular Season (60-22) Lost in Eastern Conference Finals to Chicago in 6 games
93-94: Regular Season (57-25) Lost in Finals to Houston in 7 games
94-95: Regular Season (55-27) Lost in Eastern Conference Semis to Indiana in 7 games

During the six championship runs by the Chicago Bulls, only the New York Knicks and the Indiana Pacers ever took them to a Game 7. The Pacers did it in the 1998 Eastern Conference Finals when the Bulls were playing on fumes and were easily at the end of their "championship prime". The Knicks did it in 1992 when the Bulls were returning champions, battle-tested, incredibly focused and otherworldly athletic. I believe that the 91-92 Knicks team embodied Tribe's Midnight Marauders album. Engaging, dynamic and quite literally "a gritty little somethin on the New York street". The 92-93 Knicks took the first two games of the Eastern Conference Finals from Chicago at MSG. This was the only time during the six Bull runs that I was absolutely terrified that everything was completely fucked. This Knick squad had to be The Low End Theory because they seemed to have everything (the reputation, the five mics) except the hardware. Those New York teams were talented and still highly thought of, but I believe Riley's Knicks just turned up at the wrong time. Michael Jordan and Hakeem Olajuwon were just too big to topple, even for a great team.

I feel like A Tribe Called Quest suffered from the same circumstances. Although they went platinum three times and gold twice, they are only acknowledged as true royalty by avid Hip-Hop heads. When ranking the best hip hop of the 90's, they place high but never quite crack the "short list" which is where they truly belong. The early 90's hip hop scene created such a glut of phenomenal music that while Tribe was universally viewed as amazing at their onset, they seem to fade a little beside icons such as Biggie, Tupac and Dr. Dre.

Ice Cube and George Foreman

This one is so obvious that I'll just post some Before and After photos.

Jay-Z and Kobe Bryant

Kobe Bryant took an unconventional path to basketball immortality. His father, Joe "Jellybean" Bryant, played in the NBA yet finished his playing career in Italy which is where Kobe grew up. He went through grade school speaking Italian at school and English at home. It wasn't until his early teens that the Bryant's relocated to the Philadelphia area which is where young Kobe received a crash course in American culture. His skills were dominant at Lower Merian HS yet there was still little precedent for making the jump to the NBA as an 18 year old. Kevin Garnett did so a year before to much controversy and consternation, therefore Kobe's decision to forgo college for the NBA (while shrewd in retrospect) was actually quite risky. The rest, as they say, is history.

Jay-Z became one of the richest and well respected hip hop artists through equally unorthodox methods. While he was known in the streets, Jay-Z had great difficulty getting signed and onto the radio. He'd play shows all over Brooklyn and sell tapes and CD's from his trunk while commercial producers didn't even give him a second look. Unlike anyone before him, Jay-Z created his own independent label Roc-A-Fella Records to combat these early struggles. After much toil, he struck a deal with Priority to distribute his material. His first album was Reasonable Doubt. The rest, as they say, is history.

I also find it interesting how both Jay-Z and Kobe owe much of their early inspiration and success to collaborations with to two larger gentlemen (Shaq and Biggie). Just think it warrants mentioning.

Eric B. & Rakim and Joe Montana & Jerry Rice
Gangstarr and Steve Young & Jerry Rice

Two of the greatest duos ever. I also like the symmetry of this one because Guru and Premier were virtually the heir apparents to Eric B. and Rakim. Nobody could ever match Montana to Rice historically, but Young to Rice stood by itself as a tremendous partnership in it's own right. While it could be argued, I believe that the greatness each duo experienced wouldn’t have come nearly as close in another system or group. I also like the fact that the DJ's (Montana and Young) received prestige an notoriety for their abilities amongst their peers, however the MC's (Rice) were always the undeniable element, the certifiable lynchpin to the greatness. No ego. No hubris. No nonsense. They were just pillars of their time that will forever be revered and rightfully so.

Vanilla Ice and The 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

You can't really blame either of them.

On the one hand, the Bucs were an expansion team didn't have the benefit of an expansion draft. They pieced their roster together from practice squad scraps from the rest of the league. Even their own coach John McKay (fresh from leading Southern Cal and O.J. Simpson) said that they probably couldn't hang with USC.

On the other hand, Rob Van Winkle was born with Vanilla Ice inside of him. You see, because he kept his composure every time it was time to get loose, that kinda forced him to be magnetized by the mic while he kicked his juice. See how that works?

At the end of a storm...

2008-02-19T08:28:00.000-08:00

I love the analogy AK used in his previous post. The idea of returning to a place of familiarity, regardless of a change in circumstances, is a great framework for beginning this rather downtrodden post. Unlike the other lads who post here, I get the vast majority of my sporting news from across the pond and often take the temperature of average Scousers through a number of the Liverpool F.C. fan sites, my favorite being redandwhitekop.com. This forum has innumerable songs, contributors, and constantly evolving topics. In fact, this site even has a cat who goes by the tag Another Spanish Fan and constantly translates (in full) text from Spanish newspapers regarding the Reds. In short, it is a main cog in the perpetuation of Liverpool F.C. across the globe, with an emphasis on the Scouse contingent. For a while now, I have found this site to be infinitely enjoyable, especially because the fervor and dedication of the supporters appears in nearly every thread (as does the very distinct Scouse humor). Even during runs of poor form (as has happened on and off since the second month of this campaign) and times of crisis (something very familiar this season) the commitment and passion for the club exploded out of every post, until more recently. I’m not insinuating that every Liverpool supporter exhibits some kind of pragmatic zealousness. In fact this season, just the opposite could be said, especially regarding the last two months. The bilious tone of so many posts leads me to believe that even the Scouse supporters have finally been infected by the over-dramatization of the media’s coverage of Liverpool F.C. And who could blame them. So much of the national coverage aims arrows (more like cruise missiles) at the most decorated club in English football and their upper management. I can only assume this stems from the fact that in the last 19 years, other clubs have finally begun to challenge Liverpool’s unquestioned dominance in the English game.

After falling ass-over-teakettle out of the F.A. Cup, Liverpool’s shattered hopes for a domestic title traumatized the Kop end. But this is the beauty of the competition. I was wholly disappointed (as the Bowler can attest) but, again I will restate, THIS IS WHY THE F.A. CUP IS SO GREAT. In the last three rounds, a lower division team has pushed hard against a supposedly superior squad, but only last week did that superior squad buckle under the pressure. A slew of missed chances and bad luck sealed the Reds’ exit from a competition which was their best chance for glory this season. I did not react well, especially in light of some managerial decisions made on the day. But in the end, all three of the previous squads proved just what this competition is all about. When a lower division squad makes it to the fourth and fifth rounds of the F.A. Cup, they play with a passion and commitment that is usually reserved for the finals, because for them, this is the final. Barnsley (now known as David – Slayer of Goliath) proved just that. They will continue to languish in the bottom half of the Championship, but they will play in the sixth round of the F.A. Cup, yet another “final”. However, the sentiment of the redandwhitekop.com contributors manifested itself in contempt for all those involved in the defeat. I can’t say that I blame them, but after letting off some steam by whacking some golf balls against the back of an enclosed dome, I began to think more coherently on the result. It was awful and embarrassing, but certainly not the only one in the history of English football (see Winners outside the Top Flight and Giant-Killers). Also, the nature of cup competitions has always been used by bitters to detract from Liverpool’s recent successes in both domestic and continental tournaments, because these titles require equal parts of good fortune and one-off displays. These same people will use this defeat as “proof” of Liverpool’s ineptitude, which directly contradicts the argument that the Reds only won the F.A. and European (Champions League) Cups because there is a certain amount of luck involved with winning such a tourney.

I will be the first to admit that this manner of thinking is only slightly consoling after such a massive disappointment. But the season continues, and a passionate and whole-hearted display is necessary today against the giants of the Serie A, Internazionale. Similarly confident responses were evident in a few of the posts on the supporters’ sites. For this reason alone, I, like AK, will continue to peruse that familiar and fond place searching for those pockets of comfort in knowledge (though seemingly more so in my circumstance, in his, its more for derision and ridicule). Probably the best post I read called for the Reclaim the Kop crew to bring back a classic song from the old days. Remember the history, create some history, and sing your hearts out for the man who first brought the Redmen to the grandeur of the European stage – Shankly, Shankly, Shankly, Shankly, Shankly, Shankly, Shankly (sung to Amazing Grace). We shall not be moved, regardless of the situation. We are the best supporters in the world and support the best club. Just look at the records, look at the victories and - Walk on, Walk on, With hope, In your heart, and You’ll Never Walk Alone, You’ll Never Walk Alone. LIVERPOOL! LIVERPOOL! LIVERPOOL!

Street Cred thy name is Bill Simmons

2008-02-17T08:53:00.000-08:00

"Word up, Peeps!"

I’ll admit it, I still read Bill Simmons semi-regularly. I equate this practice to patronizing the same bar your good friend used to bartend at except for the fact that he changed jobs a while ago and you no longer receive drink specials. You already know the whole staff, the layout, the songs on the jukebox, the good nights to go and the best parking locations. While the reason why you started coming there in the first place is gone, the comfort level is such that you can’t completely justify finding a new gin joint. That’s what The Sports Guy is to me. I no longer walk through those doors with lofty expectations of a tremendous time, but I know that the history is enough to keep me in that seat. At this point, I’m basically just a mailbag and NBA column reader, but I’ll peruse the occasional Patriots or Red Sox piece just to work myself up. Here’s the problem, he’s no longer the “voice of the fan”. He’s the voice of the middle aged sports nerd still trying to be hip and relevant. He rubs elbows with Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla while attending Hatton-Mayweather fights and Superbowls. He’s a Hollywood guy now who happens to write. (By the way, I find Carolla to be one of the funnier guys out there. I recommend podcasting his radio show for a week and giving his humor a chance. His rants and jags are usually very funny.)

Anyway, what leads me to rip on the Sports Guy is a question he answered in his most recent mailbag with an astounding degree of authority. This questions was posed to him by Adam in Hillsville, VA:

If they were going to construct the Mount Rushmore of the rap industry, who would the four members be? Keep in mind that it is the four most influential people to the history of the industry, not necessarily the four best rappers.

I find this to be a thought provoking question, but why ask the Sports Guy?!?! He continually expresses his admiration for Eddie Vedder’s musical genius, touts the Singles soundtrack as the quintessential music of a generation and peppers his columns with up-and-coming indie rock bands that he “recommends” although it’s fairly obvious that he plucks them from his most recent Blender issue. Besides being in his twenties during the 1990's, he has very little in common hip-hop. In fact, his overall presentation, style and verbiage is aggressively anti hip-hop. Obviously, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Just try reading a Scoop Jackson article without crying sad clown tears because this guy gets 2,000 words a week on “The World Wide Leader”. All I’m saying is that I would appreciate Kevin Powell’s informed and thoughtful answer to this question, but certainly not Bill Simmons. Let’s break this down:

You'd have to call it Mount Rapmore and, by the way, it's not a bad idea for a tourist attraction in Compton or Watts.

Because that’s where a lot of black people live! Get it!

Anyway, Tupac had the most raw talent, the biggest creative impact and the most fascinating legacy. He has to be there.

I agree with this, but I have a bone to pick with “the most raw talent”. What is this based on? The ability to flow, the lyricism, the style? It’s just a throwaway thing to say in my book. I have the most raw talent at emptying a room with my silent gas... prove me wrong.

Dr. Dre played a crucial role during rap's formative years, helped launch the West Coast sound, found Snoop and the Dogg Pound, pushed rap into the mainstream with "The Chronic" and showed everyone else how to sell out. He has to be there.

Ok, let me just say one thing here. The extended family of the Dogg Pound consisted of Daz Dillinger, Kurupt, Nate Dogg, Soopafly, RBX, Warren G, Tray Deee, Bad Azz, Lil' 1/2 Dead, Big C-Style, Lil' C-Style, Lady of Rage, Goldie Loc and Roscoe. That’s a .143 batting average. You probably could have just omitted them and strengthened your argument.

Jay-Z made the most money, bagged Beyonce and turned himself into a financial and cultural icon. He has to be there.

Based on this statement, I’m fairly certain Bill Simmons couldn’t name five Jay-Z songs.

As for the fourth spot, Eminem reached the single highest peak of any rapper; Biggie Smalls was the greatest freestyler ever and had the single most distinctive sound; and Public Enemy had a bigger influence than both of them, only you couldn't just stick Chuck D. on there because it would belittle the contributions of everyone else in the group.

Like Flava Flav?

So I keep coming back to this point: Biggie's major red flag was that he died too young, but if he had made one more memorable album, you'd pencil him in without an argument.

This isn’t a fucking Hall-of-Fame pitcher. He didn’t need another 25 wins. It’s fucking Biggie Smalls. He’s in. Christ.

Can you penalize him for dying young? I say no. Besides, you can't have a Mount Rapmore with Tupac and not Biggie when those guys are so intertwined historically. So Biggie would be my fourth pick for now, but it's up for grabs. We're an Eminem comeback album away from him knocking Biggie off and grabbing the fourth spot.

I...I quit.

Strolling into the slaughter

2008-02-12T15:12:00.000-08:00

I’m going to the Virginia/UNC game tonight at the John Paul Jones Arena and I honestly don’t know why. It seems like a no-brainer right? Hanbrough. Lawton. Ellington. Singletary. Big game. Well, as it stands now, everything is not well in Hooville.

This 2007-08 UVa team is almost a carbon copy of the 2001-02 UVa hoops edition (aka my 2nd year). During my 1st year at Virginia, the Wahoos made the NCAA tournament as a 4th seed behind the stellar play of Donald Hand (Benny’s inspiration), Travis Watson (T-Wat!), Roger Mason, Jr. (only current NBA baller), Adam Hall (An admitted dunkaholic), Chris Williams (Big Smooooth) and Keith Friel (A Rich Man’s Willie Dersch). Ben and I watched with rapt attention as these young stalwarts fought through a stacked conference schedule and held their own (protecting University Hall like it was Fort Knox). The team was young and hungry and unfazed by hostile circumstances. They won nailbitters and laughers against top-flight teams.

(ASIDE: The most memorable game was at home to the Duke Blue Devils on Valentines Day. Ben and I decided not attend 90 minutes before the game because we thought we’d be turned away because the student line was already too long. I ended up falling asleep in my dorm room with a head cold while Ben watched in half delirium/half delight as the Cavaliers won in the closing minute. Ben often says his greatest sports moment of that year (besides Antonio Freeman’s MNF catch) was when Adam Hall dunked off an ally-oop all over the Missing Link (Shane Battier) late in the second half. Not learning our lesson, we stubbornly repeated this feat less than a year later when we decided to spend a hungover Saturday afternoon watching Snatch instead of going to a seemingly innocuous football game against Georgia Tech. Oh yeah, the Wahoo’s won the game on the final play with a hook-and-ladder after a slugfest with one of the premier offenses in the nation. I still hate myself for missing that one.)

Back to hoops... Unfortunately, the Wahoos were knocked off by an egregiously seeded Gonzaga team at the buzzer in the first round. What I really missed about this team was the upside, it was so undeniable that you could lather yourself up in it and take a hope shower after every big win. TJ’s University had its team, its big-headed Brooklyn coach and its future of ACC relevance sprawled out in front of it. We came for the education but we fell in love with the basketball.

Then the next season happened. We lost Donald Hand and gained Elton Brown. We started the season 14-2, we finished it 16-12 and lost to South Carolina in the first round of the NIT. As a result, our love for this team hasn’t quite been the same since that magical 00-01 regular season.

That was until last year.

Sean Singletary, J.R. Reynolds, Mamadi Diane and Adrian Joseph filled up the bucket as a hearty and determined frontcourt pieced together the stout defense. Ben and I have already discussed the trapdoors and hopefulness associated with this team, but it’s important for me to reiterate just how important last year was for us. It got us interested all over again. Sean Singletary came into this season as an All-American. We were a couple baskets away from the Sweet Sixteen last March. We had a share of the ACC crown. All eyes were on this squad to continue to build on last years success. Albeit, losing J.R. hurt us, but we still felt like we were tournament material as the season started in November.

Flash forward to today.

After starting the season 10-2 and upsetting then #17 Arizona, we felt like we were decently prepared for the ACC conference schedule even while Lars Mikalauskas, Tunji Soroye and Solomon Tat were injured (even while Ryan Pettinella friskily roams the hardwood for 14 mpg - ugh). Now the Wahoos are 11-11 (1-8 ACC) and the bottom can’t come soon enough. Sean Singletary has been playing through a painful hip pointer and, as tough as he is, he cannot carry the team singlehandedly. The trapdoor has fallen once again.

I guess I’m going to this game because the memory of that missed Valentine’s Day upset against Duke still haunts me, but who really knows. I just hope I don’t fall asleep tonight with nightmares of Hansbrough dropping 40 on us in the most lopsided game of the year. Such is the life of a UVa basketball fan…

Because a picture is worth 1,000 words...

2008-02-10T07:35:00.000-08:00

Superbowl Sunday, 5 minutes before kickoff

Where I tempt the fates...and lose

2008-02-07T11:19:00.002-08:00

Ok so, you may recall the other day that I wrote the following about Eli Manning:

"Tonight, he made his own legend. He has earned the praise that will come forth from this world championship. I am sorry, Eli. I was wrong about you."

Yeah, well, then this happened. Now, this all could be written up to a just and loving God telling me to repent for my sins before my life (*gulp* and/or afterlife) is made really miserable.

A mere four days ago, we began our existence in a world where Eli Manning (the same Eli Manning) wins Super Bowl MVP and leads an improbable game-winning drive against the only 18-0 team in NFL history.

Turns out that the rabbit hole goes even deeper.

I suffered through Eli out-playing my hero and beating the Packers at Lambeau, in the NFC Championship Game, at a wind chill factor of negative 24 degrees after I called him out in this space for being a mediocre football player. And now, in addition to residing a mere 15 New Jersey blocks from him, I may have live in the same motherfucking city as a street named after Elisha Nelson Manning.

This is the worst crow I've had to eat and my the toes of my right foot are scraping the back of my throat. Gross, I fucking hate feet, particularly my own.

The vision of my right eye is blurred, time and words are beginning to lose their meaning, I am lost even though I know exactly where I am, and I am seriously considering the bodhisattva path.

I vow to liberate all beings without number.

I vow to uproot endless blind passions.

I vow to penetrate dharma gates beyond measure.

I vow to attain the way of the Buddha.

*gentle sobbing*

Summary and Preview: Sport for a teasipper

2008-02-07T09:32:00.001-08:00

Tiger Woods played his second tournament in two weeks. Though the most recent tournament was half a world away from the site of his first PGA Tour victory of the season, the result was much the same. Tiger left with another trophy in tow. I’m as shocked as you are! Alright, laying this bit of sarcasm aside, Tiger’s latest triumph came as part of the European Tour’s Middle East swing, in the affluent country of UAE. He started well enough, shooting 65 on his first day and showing no signs of jetlag. The next two days were not as kind to Tiggy, shooting 71 and 73 in some slightly adverse conditions, his first rounds not in the sixties since he traded in his Huggies for big boy Pull-ups. I can’t seem to help myself with this sarcasm, must be the fact that I haven’t seen the sun since…..goddamnit, the fact that I can’t even remember should serve as evidence that my brain is now mush thanks to a lack of essential nutrients produced only after my cocoa brown skin soaks up sunlight like a loofah that absorbs water, yet is never saturated. Enough. Anyways, Tiger finished the tourney with a flourish, shooting a 65 and finishing his final round with a 25 ft. birdie putt. He posted the number and waited as Ernie Els, trailing by one shot after Tiger’s final hole heroics, proceeded to spray his drives all over the desert and, more crassly, crap down his pantleg like the Cubs’ pitching staff in last year’s playoffs. Woods gladly accepted this fat paycheck (along with the “undisclosed” appearance fee) and trophy and hopped his jet back stateside. My question for discussion is this: is Tiggy the best clutch performer in the history of sport? I know, MJ should be in the discussion and so too should Steven Gerrard (and maybe Josh Beckett?), but considering the way he consistently does what’s necessary to either snatch a victory or stave off a charging foe, does anyone really compare, especially when what he does is so difficult (chipping in, long birdie putts, sticking a 3 iron as if it was a pitching wedge)?

Speaking of clutch performers, J.B. Holmes birdied his final hole at the FBR Open in Scottsdale to force a playoff with former Sun Devil and local favorite, Phil Mickelson. On the first playoff hole, Holmes labeled a 359 yard drive over all of the hazards to set up a delicate 72 yard pitch and proceeded to birdie the 18^th again. It was his second birdie on that hole in 45 minutes, after not managing that score in the three previous rounds. What is most impressive, besides that drive, was that he did not play great golf throughout the round. Many players made the push to post a low number and wait for the leaders to falter. Briny Baird put together a hell of a round (and ditched the straw hat, I might add) posting the best round on a day where more than few players went pin-hunting and succeeded in getting some good Sunday rounds under their belts. But it was Holmes who was able to keep a bad round from spiraling out of control, maintaining his position in the hunt for the title right until his putt on the 72nd hole. It was a great showing and a tremendous victory for the basher from Kentucky.

On a whole new subject now, the Reds of Liverpool travel south to London to visit the fortress of the Chelsea F.C. Blues, Stamford Bridge (I know, I can’t help but boo when I hear their name either). The Bridge has proved to be an incredibly difficult ground for any opponents to snag points. As I mentioned in a previous post, Avram Grant has them playing disciplined football, with great defensive presence and awareness. Even without big names like John Terry, Frank Lampard, and Didier Drogba, the Blues are playing a very open and attacking style, while still maintaining said defensive strength. Also, the Blues have yet to lose on their home ground in 77 consecutive matches. These two teams have met on no less than 16 occasions in various competitions over the last 3 years, with the Reds getting the better of Chelsea in two very notable European Cup semi-finals. Earlier this season, Rob Styles was suspended by the governing body of the match officials, after a horrific penalty decision against Liverpool’s Steve Finnan allowed the Blues to sneak off with a grossly undeserved point. The Reds must have vengeance in their minds and fire in their belly if they expect to end the Blues’ home domination. It could only help the confidence of the Redmen if another tie goes to London in either the F.A. or European Cups further down the road (but that is getting a bit ahead). In a very big month which sees Champions League football return to the docket and more F.A. Cup and Premier League clashes to fight through, a big win Sunday would do wonders, pulling Liverpool F.C. out of the slump in form from which they have suffered since ringing in the new year. Unfortunately, the news is that Fernando Torres may not play in Sunday’s fixture after picking up a hamstring injury while on international duty. Hopefully it’s not serious. In their earlier clash, Torres shredded Tal Ben-Haim and placed a beautiful shot around Petr Cech at the Anfield Road end, marking his first goal of many during his first campaign in English football. I was hoping for an even more convincing display this go around. Please be fit for the game Fernando. PLEASE!

As for Portsmouth, a great showing against Chelsea last weekend saw them take their first points off the Londoners in the history of the club. It was a well deserved point, if not a couple points dropped, as new signing Jermain Defoe netted his first for Pompey and could nearly have had a second, but missed on all three of his late game chances. The south coasters have also benefited from the transfer signing of Lassana Diarra, who had a brilliant game against the Blues. His deft touches and powerful shot will certainly thrill the Pompey faithful. The former Chelsea and Arsenal man looks to be a tremendous signing by the men at the top and already has Droopy Dog (Harry Redknapp) glowing over the impact Diarra can make. Throw in the sensational form of Niko Kranjcar, and in spite of the absences of many members of the squad still on African Cup of Nations duty, Portsmouth look to take three points off Bolton Wanderers in their away clash at the weekend. Finally, some good news coming out of Fratton Park for Benny C. Play up Pompey, Pompey play up.

Dateline: Foxborough, MA - Has anybody seen our swagger?

2008-02-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

The sun has risen and set a couple times since Eli Manning found Plaxico Burress in the corner of the endzone with :35 seconds left in Superbowl XLII to best Tom Brady and the seemingly unbeatable Patriots. I still can’t shake the feeling that, even after all this time, Bill Belichick is going to call an ESPN press conference and pull out a red challenge flag from his sock and put the kibosh on this whole thing. I think Ben’s reaction directly on the heels of the game mirrored many of my emotions and I applaud him for having the gumption to capture that moment. I’ve had a couple days to dwell on “The Mannings: The first family of football” stories that have been surging out of Bristol lately. I even caught a human interest story that was dusted off from late 2004 when Eli was a rookie. I actually remembered seeing it the first time around and was impressed by how awkwardly he shrugged off questions about his draft day choices. It wasn’t tragically awkward like Ricky Williams keeping his visored helmet on during post-game interviews, nor was it confusingly awkward like Tony LaRussa “taking a stand” on a poem the Post Dispatch published “demeaning” the Cubs... It was just plain awkward. It led me to believe that if Eli Manning and Rex Grossman got into a “Yo Mama” confrontation, everyone would lose... including those in attendance.

Now, well... it seems as though all the consternation surrounding this young man has now melted away. He’s as good as advertised. He no longer clings to some notion of “potential” like so many failed quarterbacks have done before him. He’s arrived. His status is set and his reputation has done an about face in a matter of months. As it stands, the American football watching public (i.e. basically everyone) will recall his final drive with a reverence bestowed to only a select few. He toppled the Evil Empire and in doing so, he gave us something of tremendous value. A story for the ages. A standard by which every subsequent Superbowl underdog will be measured. Peyton and Eli. Eli and Peyton. The order really doesn’t matter any more. It’s all gravy train now.

Congrats, New York. You've earned THIS.

P.S. If evidence comes to light that the Patriots filmed the Rams walkthru practice directly before their first Superbowl win in 2002 then I'm officially camping outside the Sports Guy's house in LA and heckling him for three solid months. Bet I won't. I dare ya.

Everything I know about football is wrong

2008-02-03T09:39:00.000-08:00

When Terry Bradshaw asked Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning how he felt when Tom Brady and Randy Moss put the Patriots up 14-10 with just over 2 minutes left, I had to turn away from the television. Unlike Lewis Black, I've never done acid and, therefore, there was nothing that could prepare me for that moment.

I wasn't ready for that shit. I feared that listening to Eli's response would change my life to the extent that it would no longer be familiar to me and, concurrently, that the furniture in my apartment would transform into snakes.

It felt like the yawning abyss of an alternate universe lay immediately beyond the precipice on which I was standing. Uncontrollable and hysterical laughing was the only instinctual reflex. Until an hour ago, I believed that Eli Manning is one of the last quarterbacks who truly would want to be in a position to lead a game-winning drive against the undefeated juggernaut that has dominated football in this first decade of the 21st century.

I hoped that his answer to Bradshaw would allow me to believe that the world made sense again. Like, "I wished I was the backup and Jared Lorenzen had to go out there," or "I was so terrified and I peed a little," or "I would've rather been antiquing with my mom."

When the nearest comparison in Super Bowl history to Eli's 12 play, 83 yard drive is the 49ers' comeback win over the Bengals in Super Bowl XXIII, our collective conceptualization of the NFL must be revised. Joe Montana, Johnny Unitas, Roger Staubach, and Tom Brady lead their teams to last-minute victories with a season at stake and under the most agonizingly nerve-fraying circumstances. And now Eli Manning.

Only a legend can author one of the most important and memoable plays in the football history.

As Eli fought men twice his size to stay on his feet on that 3rd and 5, his will was evident in a way that it has never been before. Tonight, he made his own legend. He has earned the praise that will come forth from this world championship. I am sorry, Eli. I was wrong about you. Now please make everything go back to normal.

Ah, much better.

Tiggy Woo: Movement 2: Adagio

2008-01-30T09:23:00.000-08:00

In golf, most players reach their “prime” in their thirties as patience, personal stability, and knowledge of the game and its intricacies are infinitely more familiarized to the seasoned veteran. No such wait was needed for Eldrick Woods. Instead, he has dominated the sport from the very beginning, reshaping the game itself and the courses on which he plays (well, he more destroyed the courses, with the architects choosing to revamp them accordingly, but I digress, stay with me here). As he enters what is considered to be the best years of a professional golfer’s existence, what is possible for a man breaking records at every turn?

Tiger began his PGA Tour season in style, winning the Buick Invitational at Torrey Pines for the the fourth time in a row, recording his sixth victory in the event overall. He is the only golf professional to have won at least three tournaments six times (the WGC American Express Championship (now known as the CA, because of sponsor changes) and WGC Bridgestone Inv. at Firestone as well as the Buick). With this victory, Mr. Woods tied the record for consecutive wins at a single tournament (4). But what is astounding is that he has accomplished this feat in TWO different tournaments now (the other being the Bay Hill Invitational). In recording these amazingly unique records, Tiger also drew level, in fourth place, with The King, Arnold Palmer, on the list of most career PGA Tour victories, with 62 total wins. He has obtained this status in five fewer years than any of the legends in whose great company he now resides. Along with Mr. Palmer, he now finds himself chasing the likes of Ben Hogan (64 wins), Jack Nicklaus (73 wins), and Sam Snead (82 wins). This is rarefied air to be sure, with many of these men being on their pedestal in the list for some 20+, or in Snead’s case 43+, years. But having watched him for some time now, it comes as no surprise.

There are innumerable statistics and records that allude to Tiger’s unsurpassed dominance in a sport of individual glory. I’ve merely discussed a few which relate to his most recent whomping of the field at the Buick. So, instead of using pure statistical analysis of his career to this point, I will use individual moments of brilliance from the weekend which are but snippets of what has to be regarded as the greatest all around golf game in history. To get to this position Tiger Woods has made himself the undisputed best at: reading greens/putting, shot-shaping/escape shots, and short AND long iron accuracy.

Having played the game a great deal (albeit, appallingly at times) I must admit that the most impressive facet of Tiggy’s game has got to be his putting. His speed and distance control is unparalleled and he almost never misses a putt inside of five feet. Add to this his uncanny knack of reading even the smallest breaks and undulations in the surface of the green, and Tiger’s deadly accurate touch is awe-inspiring to say the very least. Just reference the 60 ft. birdie putt he sank on Sunday, which required he play about 12-15 feet of break down a ridge, or the par save from 20 ft. he sank on Saturday to keep any challengers at bay. Even looking back, at the famous 17^th “Island Green” at the TPC Sawgrass, commentator Gary Koch had commented how no player had read the break from the back of the green, nor gotten a putt within 8 feet of cup from the position in which Tiger found himself. Koch’s now infamous “Better than most, BETTER THAN MOST” call during the putt just illustrates how someone in the know can be so astonished by the ability of this walking highlight reel.

To examine this idea further we need only look to Koch’s broadcast partner David Feherty, who is often so flabbergasted by the shots Tiger gets to come off as to remain nearly speechless (which is saying something, indeed). Over the weekend he hit a huge, sweeping draw that screamed around a tree and just short of the green, with some 40 feet of piercing curve. Most often when Tiger finds himself in the goop, he will use some sort of fiendishly difficult shot which will undoubtedly save him from having to “play it safe”. There are so many examples to draw from, my mind is too much of a flurry to actually distinguish between them; I remember a bunker shot, over water that ran just through the green, the “over-under” shot where he kept the ball under some branches immediately in front of him and then got the ball to rise over the next set of trees and landed the ball maybe 10-14 feet past the pin but still on the green, with his back against a tree, playing another sweeping draw just 8-10 feet off the ground to go under the trees and advance the ball into a solid playing position – there’s just too many to recall them all. However, this shot shaping is not just useful when stuck in the mess. He has an unbelievable ability to control trajectory, spin, and direction to play each shot as it is presented to him. Each time he approaches his ball, no matter where it is, he has the ability and the gall to get it where he can save par, or even make birdie.

This total control was never more apparent than at the Royal Liverpool Golf Club (Hoylake) in 2006. He only used his driver once during the tournament and hit all but four fairways on the week. While using a 3-wood or 2-iron off the tee left him with longer second shots, the deft trajectory control he exhibits with the long irons ensured he was always where he needed to be – on the green with shots at eagle and birdies. Some complained that this display was “boring”. Are you kidding me? You better be or I’m gonna give you a boot upside the head. I would call it clinical. The astonishing control of his game is unmatched by most, if not all, of his competitors.

Another blatantly idiotic comment is that Tiger really has no “rivals” or fellow competitors challenging him on a weekly basis. With displays such as Hoylake in ‘06 or the Buick Invitational at the weekend, this may be true. My question is this - who really cares? Though many of his victories are all but sealed by the time he tees up his first shot on Sunday, I would miss anything, I mean ANYTHING (ok, minus a gorgeous day where I can struggle and duff my way around a supposedly easy Forest Preserve layout, and even then its recorded) for the sake of witnessing Tiger’s other-worldly talent continue to pad his portfolio of brilliant shots and unique records. There is no one like Tiger Woods and there is no experience that can compare to watching him ply his diligently perfected game in person (for now anyways). Here’s to many more records being broken and more befuddled mirth from the broadcasters paid to watch the “best ever” play the most beautiful and challenging courses around.

By the way: Come on you Redmen, make yourselves proud today at Upton Park. I’m sure we both could use a nice victory against the Hammers. You’ll Never Walk Alone – not if I have anything to say about it.

Fantasy Baseball Primer: Getting the Chatter Started

2008-01-27T06:57:00.000-08:00

The Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball signups start every year around February 15th which makes sense because that’s when pitchers and catchers report. It’s when our National Pastime takes bat to cleats, knocking the dirt (and rust) from their spikes after a long winter of inactivity. Recently, baseball has stolen some headlines from the NFL and NBA with the Mitchell Report and the resultant Roger Clemens fall out, but these are mere talking points for drive-time radio shows. This idle fodder has nothing to do with the game we know and love. Wait, hold on, what’s going on here… it’s still January… Why on earth am I talking about the upcoming baseball season??? After all, Opening Day is still 64 days away. Well, let’s explore that question:

Usually I would let the NFL season run its course before I’d concern myself with MLB chatter. I would watch the NFL Films reruns of old Superbowls at lunchtime and marvel at the toughness of the 60's Packers, the grittiness of the late 70’s Steelers, the grace of the 80’s 49ers, the dominance of the 1985 Bears, the sustained brilliance of the early-90’s Cowboys and the poetry of John Elway’s swan song. It’s all a wonderfully rich tapestry of moments and emotions that have shaped this country. NFL Football is America. However, as things stand now, I’m adrift in a quagmire of hype that zaps the specialness from the proceedings. Think about it. What have been the great performances of these playoffs? Ryan Grant, fumbling twice and then shredding the Seahawks in the snow, Tom Brady’s other worldly performance against the Jags, Eli Manning not throwing an interception in three road playoff games. OK, so what leads Sportscenter? Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson bumping uglies in Mexico during a bye week and Tom Brady wearing a protective boot (not a cast, no crutches, mind you) on his way to bump uglies with Giselle Bundchen. Perhaps this is just the curse of having a 24-hour news cycle, but I think the continued coverage of these (non)events just further elucidates my claim that there is a growing disconnect between us and the game itself. We enjoy talking about the talk surrounding the game. More now than ever, we’d rather discuss the packaging, the presentation, the salaries, the girlfriends, the opinions, the soundbites and the overall minutia of the peripheries rather than the actual meat and potatoes of the sport. Gone are the days of the sports fan – welcome to the era of the sports analyst/moralist/social commentator.

OK – one more football jag to illustrate my point before I get to baseball…

While I’m not a huge fan of Mike & Mike on ESPN Radio, I’ll listen to them for ten minutes at a time in the morning. I think they do a solid job and are professional radio people even though I don’t always agree with their takes. Now, I understand that they have to fill 20 hours a week (more like 14 when you factor in commercials), but the topic of conversation this past Thursday was completely illogical. They were asserting that removing “attention seekers” like Tiki Barber and Jeremy Shockey from the equation has allowed Eli Manning to fully realize his potential as a silent, confident leader for the Giants. They noted that he has been spreading the ball around more (not really) and looking more assured in his decisions (whatever that means). This is a powerfully inaccurate speculation that didn’t exist thirty years ago because the medium didn’t dictate such vapid opining. From a sheer logic standpoint, the principles of correlation and causality are completely lost on Mike and Mike - and these are the most popular talking heads on ESPN. The blatant mangling of the FAE leads me to believe that this is done with a deft purpose to subtly outrage listeners who value deductive reasoning. However, the other part of me feels like these trends in radio (and quite frankly in print and on television) are just bigger reasons to ignore the hype, change the channel and break in the baseball mitt until next Sunday. Which is precisely what I’m going to do…

Head-To-Head vs. Rotisserie

When it comes to the debate between Head-to-Head versus Rotisserie leagues, I’ve always been of the mindset that familiarity is good. Roto leagues are certainly the most accurate models for determining the best team, but they lack the human element. They are represented by frigid stacks of data that move with all the swiftness of a glacier. Everyday you wake up and look at the standings, not in the traditional win-loss variety, but rather as vague sum of all your categories. I tried Roto once and lost interest halfway through the summer. Head-to-head, as it seems, quenches my short attention span.

Head-to-head leagues also give you a chance to point to something say, “Hey, I beat you 8-2 last week. Your starting outfield couldn’t make my bench. I question your ability to manage baseball players in a strictly hypothetical realm.” In a Roto league, people have no real reason to smack talk. The only thing they need to do is keep picking up players in categories that they suck in. It’s a long, winding stat grab. In Head-to-Head, if you win a category one week… that’s a win. It stays in the win column and you move forward. There isn’t any of this “win a point/lose a point later” bullshit. This isn’t Russia. Is this Russia? This isn’t Russia.

5 Tool Players vs. 1 Tool Players

Richie Sexson either hits a homerun or strikes out. He’s a bad hitter who can make you pay on a mistake pitch. Similarly, Jose Valentin has been equally confounding. Valentin had a bizarre track record in the five years he played shortstop for the White Sox. While playing in an average of 135 games every year he averaged 27.2 homers, yet only had 80.6 runs and 75.8 RBIs. Not terrible numbers from your SS, but undeniably disproportionate. Some guys simply excel at one thing and don’t do anything else for shit. Others do everything well, but not well enough to be flashy or attractive on a highlight reel.

After years of stubbornly waiting for one-dimensional sluggers to learn some plate disciple or fleet-footed leadoff men to develop a decent slugging percentage, I’m finally starting to see the error of my ways. What I should be doing is simple in theory, yet difficult to attain. In Head-to-Head formats, every week is a crapshoot. There are 25 weeks and your sluggers may hit their homeruns in bunches - half of their jacks may happen in only five scattered weeks. It is important to hedge your team with across-the-board consistency. Don’t rely on two or three guys for one category. Identify the 5-tool players (those who produce R, HR, RBI, AVG and SB consistently but not spectacularly) and what rounds they should be available. Draft them and stop losing with “specialty players” like Juan Pierre who kill you everywhere else.

NL Only/AL Only Leagues

I have a problem with keeping fantasy baseball fresh. Fantasy NFL is easy to adjust whether it’s implementing a two-quarterback system, rearranging scoring values or expanding position eligibility. Fantasy NBA is mostly a “set it and forget it” endeavor where players, their stats and where you play them don’t change much except for injuries. Fantasy MLB, which is the true Godfather and reason for fantasy sports, is a difficult entity to wrap up. I’ve done keeper leagues, but they are somewhat redundant. I’ve participated in daily leagues, but changing out line-ups 162 days a year and streaming pitchers late in weeks to maximize starts becomes tiresome. I’m seriously considering participating in two leagues (and only TWO leagues) come the middle of next month: One NL-only league and one AL-only league. I’ve always been interested in the knowledge needed to utilize the depth involved in each setup, however I’ve never tried it. Since I’m a Cubs fan, I follow the National League much more closely than the American League and I feel like that dynamic could really spice things up.

If anyone reading this (i.e. one of our 7 readers) has ever played in an AL/NL only league, please comment and let me know what you thought about your experience.

Auction Drafts vs. Standard Snake Drafts

Auction Drafts are great because you can really separate yourself from the pack. Any punter can participate in a snake draft and still luck into a decent team. Hell, I’ve seen draftbots take over and emerge with championship caliber results. Snake drafts are easy which is why they are standard, but let’s be honest… they aren’t entirely fair. If you get stuck with the third pick, that means you don’t get A-Rod or A-Poo (i.e. 1a and 1b) but you get to wait until the end of the second round to make your second pickup. Auction drafts introduce a strategic element that involves true value, because any player is attainable (but you have to decide what their worth is to your team). Also, the “going once, going twice, SOLD” hook never gets old.

TK and I used FantasyAuctioneer.com for our auction needs last year. It worked well except that you need to make sure you designate bench positions into your submitted lineups spots, otherwise once you fill a position you cannot draft another player that occupies that same position (a minor oversight that we ironed out). There is a draftbot option in this scenario, but as my buddy Beckwith can attest, the A.I. chip leaves much to be desired. Once the draft is over, you simply import your rosters and begin your free agent pickups. There is a small fee for their services, but it is certainly worth it. To quote Ferris Bueller, “It’s SO choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend it.”

If you’ve read this far, then you at least have a passing interest in fantasy baseball. If you’ve never played before, I would encourage you to seek out a league this year. I’ve heard all the excuses such as “I only play NFL” or “I’m a Giants fan and I don’t want to be forced to root for a Dodger under any circumstance”. Don’t kid yourself – It’s not a purity of the game issue nor is it a team loyalty issue, it’s simply a different way to experience your box scores in the morning. Don’t overcomplicate things.

You might already be aware of the fact that I have no problem what-so-ever expressing my love for fantasy sports. For me, it creates an alternative knowledge and skill set which can be applied to the game. It makes me pay attention to where the runs and strikeouts come from rather than simple wins and losses. It makes me internalize what these numbers are worth to me as a baseball fan. It makes me strive to find the next household name before he plays his first full season. It makes you ask the BIG questions:

Who, out of the beastly setup men, should I stockpile incase they become an elite closer?

A: K-Marm. Simple as that.

What is the best way to piss off your friend?

A: Draft his favorite player right before him in the draft. By doing this, you throw an emotional monkey wrench in his whole system. He’ll immediately draft Geoff Jenkins and Pedro Feliz back-to-back and wonder where it all went so horribly wrong.

When do I sell high on my young fireballer?

A: Mark Prior – yesterday. AJ Burnett – today. Justin Verlander – never.

Where does the luck begin and the skill end?

A: “Luck is the residue of design” ~Branch Rickey (i.e. there are only two types of people in fantasy baseball: winners and haters)

Why do I keep drafting Ray Durham and Dontrelle Willis?

A: Because you enjoy 8th place finishes.

We all love this game. If you think stat nerds are wasting their time or even worse “bad for baseball”, then you are missing the point. Sabermetrics and fantasy leagues are mostly aligned with learning a different language to discuss our love for the same thing. The joy and renewal we feel each spring is honest and so are the numbers. They speak volumes. They drift up and down and when the dust settles, they tell a profound story of a six-month odyssey. So please, break out the sunflower seeds and the Budweiser a little early this year fill your brain with useful data in these bleak winter months. Brady and Manning will still be there next Sunday, but the hype doesn’t have to be…

Coming next month: Sleepers, Busts and Gratuitous Photos of Anna Benson (tawdry wife of former Orioles and likely Cardinals pitcher Kris Benson)

On second thought, why wait...

"Every time I meet a new person, I figure out how I'm gonna fight 'em - you have a gimpy left knee, right?"

2008-01-23T09:56:00.000-08:00

As “sources” continue to spread their half-truths to the British media, who gobble it up like lamb vindaloo, more pundits are referring to Rafael Benitez as a “dead man walking” or as the commentator of Monday’s draw with Aston Villa put it “wounded man bleeding”. This has spurred many to ask the question, “Is Liverpool Football Club really going to suffer if the manager is changed?” and also, “Is Rafael Benitez really taking this club in the right direction?” My response to both of these questions is an emphatic YES! Not only will the club suffer massively, but Rafael Benitez has done ever so much in the last two seasons to formulate his football ideas and also to find the personnel to carry them out.

More often than not, the contention that Rafael Benitez has not improved the squad is justified through statistics or opinion based on the performance of the squad in parts of a game or in pockets of the season. Some reasonable examination seems necessary at this point.

First of all, many contend that Liverpool’s defense has been getting weaker. Ignoring the injury to Daniel Agger allows this kind of generalization to pervade. Without one of their starting centre-backs, and with an early season injury to Jamie Carragher, Liverpool’s defense ranks second only to the league leaders Manchester United in terms of goals conceded (all this with a 34 year old playing the bulk of the games, including multiple games in a week during cup competitions. This is extremely impressive in a game where 32 year olds are considered “on their last legs” and is a shining example of why Sami Hyypia is already a Liverpool legend). The most improved defensive statistic, in fact the most improved statistic, is the Reds’ away form. Conceding the fewest number of away goals in the league is a tremendous achievement made even more poignant by the fact that Liverpool have only lost two matches in the league this entire season. Only Arsenal outshines them in this category, with Man. U and Chelsea each having suffered three losses away from their respective strongholds (both have yet to suffer a home defeat, however). The most worrying statistic is that Liverpool have failed to defend their home ground in a similar fashion to the Red Devils, Blues, and Gunners. With only one loss at home, they should be in a better position. However the Redmen have drawn six, count ‘em SIX, times at “fortress Anfield”. Indeed, the most disappointing statistic is the number of times LFC have managed only one point from a fixture. They have drawn an astonishing 10 games in total during the Premier League campaign, which explains their current position in the table. This is down to a lack of goal production from the “rest” of the squad.

So far, Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard have accounted for a vast majority of the Reds’ offensive prowess. With young starlet Ryan Babel finding his way around the left wing and often in a substitute role, and Peter Crouch, Dirk Kuyt, and Yossi Benayoun getting the odd goal every now and then, the rest of the squad have accounted for the same number of goals as the MBE, Steven Gerrard. Many attribute this to Rafa’s “defense first” approach to the game. While partially true, other factors expound on this style. For instance, Liverpool have revamped nearly their entire squad at the behest of Benitez and his staff.

Many of these new signings are young players, which explicates both the supposed style and character of the squad. What I mean is, with so many young players in a new country and vastly different pace of play, it is understandable that Rafa would employ defensive tactics first and foremost. Once their defensive roles have been ingrained, the ability to move forward into attacking positions will come more naturally. In a recent interview, John Arne Riise expounded on this fact. He justified his goal drought by saying that he has been focusing almost 90% of training on defending and reading plays as they develop in front of him. If an established veteran is doing so, surely the younger/newer members of the squad are doing the same. As the squad becomes more familiar with their own roles and also their teammates around them, the fluidity of passing moves and the accuracy of the shots will improve drastically. Another factor in all this is how Rafa has ignored price tags on these players and focused their attention on adapting to the English game and perfecting their craft.

An example of this is Ryan Babel. The young Dutchman has impressed in his first season on Merseyside despite playing in the unfamiliar position of left wing, and often in a substitute’s role. During an interview with LFC.TV, Babel was quoted, “"He [Benitez] tells me that even though he paid a lot of money for me I must not think about that. He says I am still young and will improve with time. This is good for me to hear and gives me the confidence that I can train and work without worrying too much. I developed as a striker at Ajax but also have the ability to play as a winger. It is an important part of developing my game and is a good way for me to get minutes on the pitch right now.” This type of player management is reminiscent of the “good ole days” at LFC, when Ian Rush was the record transfer signing from Chester in 1980. When asked about what it was like to have garnered such a high fee, but play only in the reserves for the first season, Rush had great hindsight. He stated that he understood that this development was necessary. It wasn’t just about ability or price tag, but learning the craft of being a footballer. He said the dressing room atmosphere was different, the style was a bit different, and learning to play with members of an already established squad was a bit unnerving at first. Though football has changed significantly since the Welsh wonderboots first donned the Red shirt, these aspects of the game really have not (minus of course some of the ridiculous situations modern footballers put themselves in, i.e. Stan Collymore in the car park, United’s recent “spit roast” incident, or that Rio/ Lampard/ Dyer beer bottle/sex tape incident). Here is a list of the young players (under 26) Rafa has brought in:

Fernando Torres
Xabi Alonso
Alvaro Arbeloa
Lucas Leiva
Ryan Babel
Pepe Reina
Javier Mascherano
Jermaine Pennant
Peter Crouch (who turns 27 on the 30^th of January)
Daniel Agger
Martin Skrtel
Charles Itandje
Momo Sissoko (whose future with the club is still uncertain)

This group, combined with Fabio Aurelio, Yossi Benayoun, Dirk Kuyt, and Andriy Voronin, make up the vast majority of the current squad, and have all shown promise. Once they have fully settled into the style and the tempo of the English game, they all have the potential to be studs. This is an impressive list of talented and disciplined players, many of whom exemplify quality characters and hard work. These factors should not be overlooked, nor underappreciated in a world where instant results are becoming the standard by which all managers are measured. It took a shitload of time to build some of the “successful” squads so idealized by the British press. United had their core of players already established by the time Rafa took over in ’04, while Liverpool’s squad barely resembles the one he inherited from Houllier’s time. The main point of interest is that this squad has turned many losses into draws, a step forward in my book. While they have conceded some silly goals this season, the defense has often been undermanned and exhausted because of on/off injuries to Steve Finnan, Fabio Aurelio, Daniel Agger, Alvaro Arbeloa, and even the ironman Jamie Carragher (Hyypia even took a few knocks, but missed only one game, if I’m not mistaken).

I, like so many, have been disappointed with the way this squad has dropped points. However, I think looking solely at league statistics and generalizations of the team’s performance does not give an accurate picture of all the external factors. The youthfulness of the squad accounts for so many things. Once acclimated, I see this squad going on to great things. All this nonsense about Rafa being sacked, the owners placing debt on the club, etc. just detracts from and distracts the players. Given some time to adapt to the game and each other, this squad can contend for the league title. Just reference how much closer this squad is to the top than in previous campaigns. In this light of adaptation and education, the ceiling gets higher...nay...is destroyed altogether. This squad needs Rafael Benitez to continue his work developing and strengthening them into what I hope they will be – title contenders every season. Hopefully the owners will not allow their own opinions of the man, Rafael Benitez, to supercede the knowledge that The Boss, Rafa, is most certainly the right man for this job. His record should speak for itself.

Chelsea

2005 Premier League Winners, League Cup Winners, Charity Shield Winners
2006 Premier League Winners, Charity Shield Runners-up
2007 FA Cup Winners Winners, League Cup Winners, Premier League Runners up, Charity Shield Runners-up

6 trophies
3 runners-up spots

Liverpool

2005 European Champions League Winners, European Super Cup Winners,
FIFA Club World Cup Runners-up, League Cup Runners-up,
2006 FA Cup Winners, Charity Shield Winners
2007 European Champions League Runners-up

4 trophies
3 runners-up spots

Manchester United

2005 FA Cup Runners-up
2006 League Cup Winners
2007 Premier League Winners, FA Cup Runners Up, Charity Shield Winners

3 trophies
2 runners-up spots

Arsenal

2005 FA Cup Winners, Charity Shield Runners-up, Premier League Runners-up
2006 Champions League Runners-up
2007 League Cup Runners-up

1 trophy
4 runners-up spots

Side Note: On the topic of youth, Lady’s sister just gave birth this morning to a baby boy. You’ll be pleased to know that although there were some complications, Mama and Baby are doing just fine, though Mama is in some PAAAIIIN (no kidding, right). I’d like to welcome Brayden Cole to this world and tell all of you that he already has a “My First Liverpool Kit” sleeper suit, and a cap and booties with the crest on them (gotta start ‘em young) from his favorite Auntie and his excited Uncle-by-Proxy.

Post-Posting: Let us not forget that Rafa is the brain behind putting Jamie Carragher permanently in the central defensive role, when his predecessor used him more as a utility back. It can be argued that since this change, Jamie Carragher (now over 500 appearances for the club) has gained a reputation as one of the best centre-backs in the WORLD, let alone Europe. Thanks also for that one, Rafa.

The Descent of Man

2008-01-17T07:56:00.000-08:00

September 16th happened in a different year, in a different season. And it feels like the game itself occurred long before then. Looking back on the highlights of that game is a revelation of the lifespan of a season and a tip of the cap to Darwinism in football. The remaining teams of the National Football Conference are a study in evolution by natural selection.

The three characteristics of Darwinian processes are self-replication, variation, and selection. Both the Giants and the Packers have demonstrated (i) an ability to reproduce the performances over a period of months that have won victory on the field, (ii) a sufficient range of traits over the course of the season as evidenced by the variety of ways in which each has been successful; and, most importantly (iii) that such consistency and such traits have allowed both teams to perpetuate their existence. They have done what 14 others have not. They have survived.

The Giants, who were up-and-down during the regular season, bring a crew of seasoned and battle-hardened (and battle-worn) veterans on defense, the reincarnation of Thunder and Lightning (or more appropriately, Ron Dayne and Tiki Barber as they should have been) in the offensive backfield, and Elisha Nelson Manning to Lambeau Field. The most important question in their admittedly shocking appearance in the Conference Championship Game this Sunday, can they achieve a third road playoff victory in three weeks?

In beating the Cowboys and Buccaneers, the Giants have run a conservative, but error-free, offense that relies on the run game and short-to-intermediate passes. The heart of these road upsets, however, has been a defense that has been riddled by injury over the course of the season. Their ability last weekend to pressure Romo, stop the run in 4th quarter, and to prevent T.O. from becoming a factor in the outcome were all impressive.

Please, however, spare me the Eli-coming-of-age story. The Giants' success has been predicated on Eli not losing games rather than Eli winning games. If not losing games is a sign of an individual fulfilling lofty expectations, somebody please squeeze my nipples and wake me up from this nightmare. The number one pick in the 2004 draft on whom the Giants hedged the future of their franchise is "maturing" and becoming a "leader" because he is no longer single-handedly giving away ballgames to the opponent.

In this, there seems to be an eerie resemblance to Peter Gibbons, the quintessential underachiever. In every game and in every press conference, the look in Eli's eyes seems to say, "that's my only real motivation is not to be hassled; that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired."

This, needless to say, is not sustainable. It means that the running backs and defense must be dominant in each game if they expect to win. Or they must rely on the mistakes of their opponent. We witnessed both of these occurrences in their two road playoff upsets, but it is unreasonable to believe that this will continue with a strong Packer run defense, a battered and bruised Giants' secondary, and a Super Bowl berth on the line. Eli must play the game of his life on the truly Frozen Tundra (the forecast calls for a crisp, clear 4 degrees around kickoff). 12-18 for 163 yards (almost a third of those yards, it is worth noting, coming on 50 YAC by Amani Toomer) will not do it this time and if past performance is any indicator of future success, Eli be fucked. Fucked in the sense that he will not lead his team to a victory and fucked because he will end this season having not proven much of anything. Fucked because the questions still remain.

The Packers on the other hand, benefitted from the bye week and Divisional Round win in which they controlled the ball and imposed their will on their opponent. Offensively and defensively, they simply must continue to perform as they have for the bulk of the season. They are solid against the run, solid against the pass, solid on the line, solid in execution, and solid (for the most part) in protecting and possessing the ball. It is their game to lose and a season is at stake.

For my part, I'm tired of all this. I started this entry on Tuesday. It is Thursday now, and there's not much I can tell you that you don't already know about the x-factors and the match-ups, about each team's journey to this point, and about predictions for the game. The difference in coverage since the last time the Packers played in the NFC Championship Game (in January of 1998) is astounding and disconcerting. It does weird things to your perspective.

My anxiety in waiting has slowly transformed into a dull weariness knowing that, for all the chatter, nothing will be settled until Sunday and that the emotions brought forth to the surface will be turbulent and extreme. Furniture may be broken in victory or defeat. As a football spirals downfield through the air, a stroke becomes that much more likely. Following the game, one's life may seem perfect and tranquil or miserable and troubled. A man far wiser than I once said, "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." The stark reality of those words is all-consuming. If victory is the only thing, then losing is the abyss, the vacuum, and nothingness.

The only thing is to live to fight on one more Sunday, one more battle…for survival.

Dissecting the Evil Empire

2008-01-16T18:36:00.000-08:00

I was watching Return of the Jedi the other night and something occurred to me. Even if some people consider it the worst of the original trilogy, I really enjoy that movie. I understand that the Ewoks could be construed as tiny harbingers of lameness that paved the way for the likes of Jar-Jar Binks. But personally, I really liked the fact that the entire rebellion would have been sunk without them. To delve further into matters - without C3PO’s ability to communicate and bond with the Ewoks, the deflector shield would never be knocked out and that operational Death Star would completely wipe out the rebel alliance fleet. I appreciate that sort of story, because the Evil Empire never considered these things. It also made this exchange between Luke and the Emperor all the more poignant:

Luke: “Your overconfidence is your weakness.”

Emperor: “Your faith in your friends is yours.”

As it happened, Luke was exactly right and the Emperor was 100% wrong. The ultimate resolution to the entire Star Wars saga was entirely satisfying because the cocky-ass Empire shit the bed when it seemed like they had everything going for them. The scrappy underdogs used the force, some unlikely forest dwellers and a British-voiced droid to topple tyranny and oppression throughout the galaxy. EVERYONE likes that story. The little guy will always get public support, especially if faced with a perennial juggernaut. Let’s face it, there are a lot of real life sports applications of this principle: Duke basketball and their annoying ability to never get called for a blocking foul, Yankees baseball and their endless stream of money, Notre Dame football their obnoxious independent status and TV contract. Sports are full of these traditional Goliaths and every time they stumble, we obsessively rejoice. Why? Because fuck the Death Star, that’s why!

Exhibit A: The New York Yankees haven’t won a championship since the Subway Series of 2000. Since then, they’ve gone 686-445 (.607) in the regular season but only 30-32 (.484) in the postseason. Alex Rodriguez somehow is responsible, but any practical baseball man knows that while one player can win a series for you, one player alone cannot lose it for you. But the media loves thumping their chest and clicking their pens, “A-Rod and the Yankees choke again!” while the magazine and paper buying public eats it up. It’s wonderful bar fodder, as if it were custom-made for drunken arguments. The non-Yankee American public has become bold, hurling half-baked theories as to why this wealthy collection of playoff shoe-ins can’t get the job done. It’s this strange annual ballet of making a non-story into so much hype to be digested on a mass scale. If you transposed the above records with, say, the Minnesota Twins… would anyone care? Would people be jumping around with misbegotten joy every time they got bounced from the ALDS once again? No, the Twins would be considered a great ballclub that, for one reason or another, couldn’t seem to put it together in the postseason. There would be no reason to delve any further than that.

Exhibit B: Notre Dame football has the 2nd highest winning percentage in NCAA history (.744), second only to Michigan (.745). They are tied with USC for the most Heisman trophy winners at seven. As of the 2007 NFL Draft, there have been 459 Fighting Irish drafted into the NFL. The list goes on-and-on…

When I was young, my Dad taught me to root for two teams each Saturday. The Virginia Cavaliers and whoever was playing Notre Dame. The funny thing was, my Dad didn’t have a huge qualm with the Golden Domers. He appreciated the fact that they didn’t compromise academic integrity to win football games, like Miami or Florida State. He also thought they were a well-coached bunch. But in the end, this is what he was taught, so this is what I was taught. The fact that most any average college football fan can tell you how many consecutive bowl loses they have suffered (nine) or the exact terms of Charlie Weis’s ridiculous contract extension after only one season (10 years, 40 million) are just part and parcel of the greater disdain for Notre Dame football. I think this constant hatred has partly to do with the obnoxiousness of the fans (think of how annoying Red Sox fans are now, except over decades of success). The steady resentment is also a direct result of Notre Dame joining the Big East for basketball and baseball, but still holding onto their independent status for football. The contract they have with NBC smacks of elitism and only perpetuates the self-important image of the Notre Dame ethic.

On the other hand, I rather enjoyed Rudy. And some of my best friends are loyal Notre Dame supporters. There are some redeeming qualities about the institution that I cannot deny, but none of these elements could ever sway me from my hardwired contempt for the Green and Gold. Charlie Weis isn’t the second coming after all and I’m glad that talk has finally ended. Tyrone Willingham’s coaching record was 21-15; Weis’s record over that same span is 22-15. As far as I can tell, such blatant hypocrisy deserves our widespread critical derision. Nothing makes me happier than seeing this Evil Empire fumble and fuck it up and still have that unmistakable pride and hubris intact - It only validates my Dad’s teachings.

Exhibit C: Duke Basketball. I’m bent over with rage just thinking about what to say about these colossal ass clowns. For the sake of the vein forming on my forehead, I’ll just play this amazingly on-point video and leave it at that:

I guess it’s pretty obvious where I’m going with this… Should we enjoy the Patriots domination because it’s so convincing? After all, if they go 19-0, set records for points in a regular season all while amassing the most TDs by both a QB and WR, then they are the best team ever. I mean, we’ll be telling our kids about them one day, right? So should we root for greatness? Does the package a once-in-a-generation talent come in matter or should all prohibitive favorites be met with unmitigated bile? Did everyone hate my beloved Bulls of the 90’s without me knowing it? Is the reason to loathe a dynasty simply a reaction of boredom – that you want to see someone (anyone!) else on top? Well, here’s my two cents:

As impressive as the Patriots are… I’m rooting against history. There are many factors that I’ve weighed into this equation. ESPN’s Bill Simmons is one reason. I’ve spent the last seven years listening to this guy wax poetic about the virtues of Tom Brady and company. I probably would be equally proud of my team if they had similar accomplishments, but the tipping point came in the middle of this season. In a November 9th article, he all but says the NFL fixed the “Showdown in Indy” in favor of the Colts… AND THE PATIORTS STILL WON. He completely glosses over any moralistic quandary that arises when faced with the subject of Spygate in Week One. He’s dismissive and arrogant. He even accuses CBS of “being worse” than the Patriots coaching staff when they put a mic on Tom Brady during a midseason game because his audibles were registering too clearly on the television broadcast. His illogical defense, which is only emboldened by each passing week of perfection, has become emblematic of a larger trend. Simply put, Boston is taking over. The Joe’s Diner spots on the NFL network have continued the Boston Love-in with such annoying banter as “What comes after a dynasty?” and “Tom Brady is WAY hotter than Carson Palmer”. There is a general dislike of the New England sports fan right now because all three of their professional teams are at the pinnacle of their respective leagues (and as Dane Cook can tell you, over saturation is the kiss of death). It goes deeper though, in my opinion.

Each big market has their own sports fanatic shortcomings. Los Angeles is known for two things, transplants and Mexicans. Therefore, the local sports scene lacks a distinct passion (except maybe for the Doy-yers). New York is known for being crass, short-tempered and self-important. They demand instant results through some strangely arrived at sense of entitlement. Chicago is full of fat, rabid know-it-alls who have an inferiority complex being the Second City. We grow mustaches and eat deep-dish pizza and do bad Chris Farley impressions. Anyway, Boston fans were always fatalistic complainers (with the exception of the Celtics) who used funny dialects and believed that the worst was yet to come. They were lovable because they were so desperate, so passionate and so miserable. But now, Bostonians are still finding things to complain about even when they are experiencing the biggest sports boom one city has ever known. It’s jarring to the rest of the country, but really, this is uncharted territory. It’s hard to make sense of it.

There is no doubt that the Patriots are a tremendous team, top to bottom. The greatness is otherworldly. Welker snakes for first downs. Moss runs and blocks like a champ. Brady basically hands the ball off to receivers 15 yards at a time (as my Dad puts it). Maroney is a beast when healthy. Belichick is a dominating strategist. It’s all there for 19-0, but for some reason, I just can’t support these guys. They are poor winners (mocking the Eagles in the Superbowl, the Chargers in last year’s playoffs) and are consistent saying the right things while whistling another tune on Sunday. They run up the score. They lack class at times. They ceased being confident miles ago and are now just plain cocky. I’m not sure if they are evil yet, but they certainly aren’t virtuous. Speaking for myself, I’m hoping the road gets bumpy ahead for the Golden Boys of the gridiron.

For the love of God…

Please, cue the Ewoks.

"I get the news I need on the weather report, I can gather all the news I need on the weather report."

2008-01-15T06:48:00.000-08:00

My abhorrence of the media is now hopelessly apparent.

Deal with it.

The (cropped) running diary from Ginger’s:

8:28 a.m. C.S.T. – The Lady and I grab a booth, kitty corner from our big buddy with the Carlsberg tee (which was obviously going to be a dress on my Lilliputian frame, had I chosen to keep it). From what I can gather his name is pronounced Ya-kee(L ?). He chows on some taters like they’ve done his family wrong and deserve aggressive mastication. He is here, yet again, with the rest of the regulars (a group with which Lady and I are quickly becoming entwined, thanks to the friendly/heavy accent laden questions batted ‘round by our bar matrons), and we are all bundles of nervous anxiety. All that I can say for certain, at this moment, is that I hope the second half of this season has loads of FSC broadcasts at the homestead… for the sake of the indissoluble experience of anxiety, cigarettes, and footy.

9:01 a.m. – Kick-off – Boro get it started.

3 mins. – Nice formation today with John Arne Riise roaming on the left of midfield. Hopefully he can regain some consistent form and bag a few trademark screamers in the second half of this campaign. Good spell from Liverpool, Boro get a corner against the run of play. Over for a goal kick.

8 mins. – Pepe with a couple of “I wanna be a sweeper” moments. Bad/daisy-trimmer clearance.

11 mins. – Corner to the Reds after some midfield exchanges. Short corner, Steve Gerrard, Gerrard moves from left to right at the 18 yard box and uncorks a scalding shot, save by Mark Schwarzer (why is it he always has his best games against the ‘pool?). Another corner to the Reds, Big Sami heads over. Nada.

14 mins. – Mascherano takes one square on the dome from 9.5 yards: he’s dazed, gets some treatment, and may need a blow to regain some semblance of cognizance.

19 mins. – Damn fine save from Pepe after a floated header – flag is up for offside. The appearance of the save, and the fact that he continues to make clearances outside his box lead me to believe he’s spending too much time watching clips of everyone’s favorite Zimbabwean Bruce Grobbelaar.

20 mins. – Tenuous right now, Boro starting to come to life in the attacking sense.

23 mins. – Torres gets his boots in the act - finally. Boro have marked his runs well thus far, staving off any breaks and relegating him to build-up play and headers.

26 mins. – Goal. George Boateng of Boro gets a sliding shot from six yards into an open net. Pepe misjudged the play, attacked an aerial ball at the byline (which he had no chance of corralling), while Tuncay played the header back to the six yard box for an easy captain’s goal.

30 mins. – Robert Huth chips at Fernando’s calves as if doing so will release some German chocolate for him.

33 mins. – Boro look content to sit deep and absorb pressure. The midfield is getting closed down quickly; consequently, there is little crispness to the passing moves.

36 mins. – Yossi Benayoun gets a volley on after a nice spell of pressure. Schwarzer saves, offside flag is up – buggeration.

43 mins. – More dodgy defending from Liverpool. Far offside from Boro.

HALFTIME

Substitution at the beginning of the second half. Arbeloa makes way for Babel, J.A.R. moves to the more familiar left back position.

47 mins. – Javier Mascherano with a great ball, then, after a mistake by Riise, makes a tremendous tackle to spoil a Boro counter. Riise’s bad form shows little chance of abating at this moment.

54 mins. – Boro continue to exploit the right side of the Reds defense with great success – is Yossi playing too close to the front? Indubitably.

57 mins. – Babel works hard and earns a corner, then unleashes a scorcher just past Schwarzer’s left-hand post.

66 mins. – Downing rips a shot from about 17 yards and Pepe gets a finger on the ball, sending it careening off of the keeper’s best friend (his left-hand post). Dodged a bullet there, literally (maybe not quite literally).

71 mins. – GOAL!!! Torres with a screamer sending the pub into exultation. I tell Lady its official now, I am gay for Fernando Torres. She seems relieved by this statement. But why?

76 mins. – Nice spell to keep the pressure on the compact Middlesbrough defense. Great low shot from Babel – so close yet again.

87 mins. – Steve Gerrard, Gerrard from about 35 yards, pushed over the crossbar from Schwarzer.

90 mins. – Hyypia heads down to the keepers right, fine save to keep it level. Damn you Mark Schwarzer.

90 + mins. – Steve Gerrard, Gerrard tries to place one across the face of goal to the left side of Schwarzer, just not to be.

FULL TIME – goddamn it. ANOTHER GOD FORSAKEN DRAW. At least the Redmen scored at the Riverside for the first time in five years. At the very least.

As for the rest of the weekends fixtures, some promising turns of events and some horrifying statements to make.

Arsenal v. Birmingham City – 1:1

A great result as Liverpool simply could not afford to drop further back in the standings. It’s a blow for the Gunners after a bright start through an Adebayor penalty. They had not dropped points after an Adebayor goal yet this season. Thank heavens this was not the case today. It was a very lively match, and elucidates the reason the EPL is so much fun to watch, as any team can beat another on their day.

Aston Villa v. Reading – 3:1

Villa continue to impress under American ownership and the seemingly brilliant coaching of Martin O’Neill. A brace from John Carew, and yet another goal from a corner for the Big Dane, Martin Laursen, secured three more points for a Villa squad pushing for European qualification. They have scored more goals from set pieces than any other Premiership side. The bad news for me is that this result pulls them level on points with Liverpool.

Chelsea v. Tottenham Hotspur – 2:0

Chelsea continue their form under new manager Avram Grant, and maintain pressure on the top two. Another victory leaves them just four points clear of the top spot. Juliano Beletti uncorked a blazing shot from 30 yards, and Shaun Wright Phillips continued his sizzling form with a late sealer to prolong the Blues’ impressive 75^th straight unbeaten match at Stamford Bridge. However, newly signed (for a whopping 15 mil. pounds) Nicolas Anelka could not find the back of the net; the deep pockets of Roman Abramovich will continue to add depth to an already loaded squad (beset by injuries to some key players, mind, but still getting results). This is becoming a three horse race at the top, with Liverpool falling deeper into the mire. Looks like its suicide again for me.

Derby County v. Wigan Athletic – 0:1

Honestly, who cares other than the home support (and even then “care” is a relative term). The relegation battle for these sides will continue through to the end of the season, with Derby’s ticket down to the Championship all but stamped.

Everton v. Manchester City – 1:0

The blue portion of Merseyside had a good day, thanks to Joleon Lescott’s first half strike. The victory draws them level on points with Liverpool. Things are crowded for that fourth spot and Champions League qualification, as the teams from fourth to seventh are all level on points and separated only by goal differential. The dropped points by Man. City keep them on the same number and send them into that seventh spot. God help us all if Everton manage to keep the pressure on Liverpool through April and into May. Anytime I see some blue, I may get stabby.

Middlesbrough v. Liverpool – 1:1

DAMN IT! Liverpool are being traduced as a team that may not even qualify for the Champions League. This is a disgusting thought, and one based solely on many pundits’ desire to see the Reds flailing. They still have a game in hand on any team above or below them in the standings (minus, of course, their opponent for said game, West Ham, who find themselves moderately adrift), so the table is a bit misleading, as are some comments from either illiterate or just plain daft muppets (mainly the Super Sunday Plus crew, comprised of Andy Houlihan, Christian Miles (I often wonder aloud, whose hand is up his pooper manipulating that gob?), and the bitter ex-QPR man, Gary Richards. I envisage their broadcast associate, and staunch Liverpool supporter Keith Costigan, leaving a fresh, steamy pile on their keyboards or lending some of his special brand of Irish “seasoning” to their tea for their blatant defamation of the beloved Reds). For Boro, the result continues a strong run against the best competition and raises questions about the lack of results against the lower half of the league (wherein they find themselves).

West Ham United v. Fulham – 2:1

Dean Ashton and Anton Ferdinand secured three points for the Hammers and pushed Fulham further into the relegation fight. It started brightly enough for the Cottagers of Fulham, but constant pressure from United forced goalkeeper Anti Niemi to earn his pay. It probably should have been more one-sided, in favor of West Ham, if not for the heroic, and often acrobatic, keeping from the Finn. Ashton alone peppered the visitor’s goal as if taking target practice and could nearly have had a brace, if not more, for his efforts. Both of these squads, like so many others, find themselves wearing the Sock and Buskin at stages of each match they play.

Sunderland v. Portsmouth – 2:0

Roy Keane’s Sunderland team took three much needed points off a Pompey side embattled by reports of coach Harry Redknapp (henceforth known simply as Droopy dog) being linked with a vacancy at the helm of Newcastle United, and heavily weakened by the African Cup of Nations. Sunderland got both goals from former Manchester United man Kieran Richardson, one off a poor pass from the Pompey midfield, the other when Sol Campbell left a ball for the byline, only to have it kept in play by Sunderland’s Kemwyne Jones. He skittered a pass back to Richardson, who could not miss. Pompey must get back into the form that had them contending for that coveted European berth. Otherwise, Benny C may have to traipse across the pond and put some fight in the side via his own moxie and fists. Huh. That doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

Bolton Wanderers v. Blackburn Rovers – 1:2

The Lancashire derby is rarely a dull one, as two very physical sides beat the ever-lovin’ sh*t out of each other in an attempt to assert defensive dominance on their local rivals. This was certainly an enjoyable match, with Kevin Nolan striking first on a gorgeous wonder-volley across the face of goal. Christopher Samba drew the sides level from a corner with a good header and Jason Roberts stole the match in the dying moments for a Rovers side desperate to stop the slide down the table. Roberts’s run was strong and purposeful, and his finish was as cool as they come (though it did take a slight deflection). Wanderers need to up their game if they intend on staying in the top flight, especially after Nicolas Anelka made the big money move to Chelsea, and with El-Hadji Diouf and Abdoulaye Meite away at the African Cup of Nations. They must string some wins together to get out of the logjam near the relegation zone.

Manchester United v. Newcastle United – 6:0 (Pfffftttt!!!)

Newcastle’s sub-standard performances have cost Sam Allardyce his seat at the helm of the Toon. For the first half, Newcastle looked a decent side, absorbing the constant pressure from the Red Devils and escaping some close calls, thanks in large part to their keeper and some rather fortunate non-calls by referee Rob Styles (not so much for the fact that they should have been called, but rather because it was Manchester United, who often get the rub of the green from the officials). Towards the end of a scoreless first half, the Red Devils should have gone down 1-0, as Michael Owen broke clear behind the defense, only to be flagged for a non-existent offside. The replay was clear as day, and the Devils got lucky on that occasion. After that bit of fortune, the second half came and went with six goals for Manchester United: a hat trick for Cristiano Ronaldo (his first in English football), a brace from Carlos Tevez, and a fine volley from Rio Ferdinand right inside the post. The Geordies never stood a chance after the second half began. The victory placed Manchester United atop the standings on goal differential, but level on points with Arsenal. It was a display that showed their intent to snag the Premier League title for the second season in a row, and reminded me of the gap in quality (at the moment) between the top and Liverpool.

I feel filthy.

I need a shower.

January Sports Moments

2008-01-13T09:57:00.000-08:00

January still remains one of my favorite months on the American sporting calendar. There are few joys greater than the high drama of the NFL playoffs. The college and professional basketballers are just hitting their stride, positioning themselves for the long and winding stretch run. The New Years Day bowl games leading up to the National Championship are always a welcome sight for sore eyes. Meanwhile, the PGA is tentatively edging itself into the collective subconscious with promises of Masters brilliance once the snow lifts for good in April. In baseball, we’ve got pitchers and catchers reporting in one month, signifying the start of my favorite season of all. Then, of course, there is a wonderful absence of NASCAR highlights on the morning Sportscenter (Greg Biffle and Matt Kenseth don’t like each other! Let’s settle this with more circles!). There is a lot to get excited about.

I’ll grant you, March and September are fine sports months. But neither hold the expectation, the raw and genuine emotion that a January can provide: ACC hoops action... Lambeau Field in the driving snow... The final percolations of the Hot Stove League... So, in honor of this fabulous month (and also because I’m trying to kill time before the first NFL game today), I’m going to countdown a personal recollection of the Top Four January Sports Moments that I can remember.

4.) January 28th, 2007 – Virginia Cavaliers vs. #17 Clemson Tigers

This game occurred during a 7-game winning streak for the Wahoos during ACC play last year. I don’t care if it’s a down year, that is damn impressive in a conference that regularly trounces the Big Ten each December. What made it more impressive was that Virginia was down 63-49 with 5:05 left in the game. They scored the final 15 points to win 64-63. I’ve always appreciated scrappy teams that played over their heads at times and earned their stripes, the 2006-07 Virginia Men’s Basketball team was one such animal. Sean Singletary for president. That is all.

3.) January 15th, 2005: Chicago Bulls vs. New York Knicks.

This was the season that my beloved Bulls started out 0-9 with rookies Ben Gordon and Luol Deng playing significant minutes. This was also my first year out of college, so I could closely watch what I thought was a promising team. I remember watching the first game of the season (an OT thriller against the Nets) in my empty apartment, getting chills during the player introductions and being pleasantly surprised with the young core of players we had built. This was back in the time when the Bulls were still considered absolute trash, not even worth following by hometown "fans". I remember telling people the following week that this was the best 0-5 team in NBA history… and meaning it. I got a lot of furrowed brows and comments such as "You still watch the Bulls?". Most of my friends and acquaintances stayed away, but I followed this tenacious and hard nosed team through the doldrums of winter and into the new year with a religious devotion. By the time New Years Day rolled around, we had a 9-17 record. Certainly respectable considering how we started the season, but nothing had prepared even the most devoted fan for the January that was about to unfold. After the dust settled, the Chicago Bulls finished the month 13-3 and had climbed back above .500 for the first time in February since the Jordan years. They finished the season 47-35. I cite the January 15th game because my buddy Shawn and I went to this matinee at the UC and were treated to an exceptional finish that will always be with me. We were sitting in the second row mere feet away from where Tyson Chandler started going nuts after the final buzzer. One of the best regular season games I’ve ever seen in person considering the context:

2.) January 21st, 2007 – Chicago Bears vs. New Orleans Saints

I’ve already gone into just how perfect this game was from a Chicago fans POV, so I’ll spare you the recap. Needless to say, there are few things as rewarding as watching your childhood team wind down the clock as a Superbowl looms in the distance. This being said, I’m officially riding shotgun on the Green Bay Packers bandwagon after one of the most amazing playoffs games I’ve ever seen. I say, let’s keep the NFC title in the Norris Division for one more year. Benny, you have my full support.

1.) January 4th, 2005 – Ryno makes it into the Hall

Ryne Sandberg was the greatest second-baseman of his era. He was an All-Star from 1984-1993. He won nine Gold Gloves from 1983-1991. He won seven Silver Slugger awards and, the crown jewel, the NL MVP in 1984. He was a tremendous player and an even better role model. When I heard that he was inducted into the Hall of Fame, I jumped with an honest joy. This man will forever be a hero.

I will always remember a game against the Pirates when I was ten years old. Barry Bonds hit a go-ahead homerun in the late innings and, as it sailed over the fence, he stopped, admired it, flipped his bat, twirled and slowly trotted around the bases. Ryno got up the next inning and hit the eventual game winning homer deep into the Pittsburgh night. He simply put his head down and ran the bases like a true professional. Ryno taught me more about class and respect than any teacher ever could.

When I heard his Hall-of-Fame speech, I cried. I cried because it was perfect. If you haven’t had the privilege, here is a transcript and the audio. It chills the baseball loving part of you to the core.

Respect.

"The only thing you can trust in a British newspaper is the date." "I'd even double check that, mate."

2008-01-11T07:48:00.000-08:00

I'll get to that in a short while, but first:

The PGA tour began in traditional fashion last week, on the Hawaiian swing. In terms of a first tournament, I could not have asked for more. There was; a four hole playoff between last year's come-back manchild Steve Stricker and up-and-comer Daniel Chopra, the incredible layout of Kapalua's Plantation Course, uke strumming galore, and innumerable shots of spawning whales playing in the surf. All of this glorious-ness greeted a soul starved (if only mildly) for some PGA tour coverage and ... (Briny Baird is still alive? huh. and he continues to wear those ridiculous Byron Nelson style straw hats...damn, that was a helluva two from the fairway there, especially from a walking corpse)... palm trees. A great start to the new season.

As it is abundantly clear, I am currently catching the first round of the Sony Open at Waialae. Last season, this tournament produced a story worthy of a Disney Company film. Tadd Fujikawa, the wee man from Oahu, became the youngest player to make the cut at a tournament in 50 years. He accomplished this feat as an amateur, at the tender age of 16, and the diminutive stature of 5'1'' tall. Anyone who saw him drain that eagle putt on the 18th to secure his spot for the weekend could not help but fist pump right along with him. In the modern game, what he did was astronomically improbable. As he strides out on the course today, the delirious crowds will certainly give him the welcome he deserves after an almost clinical display on a very difficult course at this time last season (and in spite of a less than stellar first round this year). Good luck to him as he begins his first full season as a professional.

Side note: They just showed a slow-mo comparison of the swings of two of the biggest bashers on tour, J.B. Holmes and Bubba Watson. I might just willingly give a few digits, or one of the berries to smack the ball some 316 yards on average, or in this case (from Bubba) 338 (not a misprint) 338!!! mother-truckin' yards. Just a thought.

Now on to my true love (sorry Lady - I mean in sporting terms), Liverpool Football Club. After such a glowing introduction by the Whiskey Bowler, there may be some disappointment over my first contribution beginning with PGA talk. I'd like to say the previous discussion was necessary because I am so overtly excited about a new golf season. This is simply a partial truth, as my disgust over recent results has left me feeling hollow, and left my wall in need of some spackling. Another below standard performance at Anfield - against lowly Wigan Athletic - and an F.A. Cup 3rd round draw at lower division Luton Town have given the supporters some (warranted) concern. This is where the title of this piece enters the fray.
These horrifying results have given the British press enough fodder to begin another round of "sacking" talk with regards to our beloved Rafael Benitez (in Homer form on my profile), and also to essentially disregard Liverpool as title contenders come May. That last bit is a hard pill to swallow. Especially when you consider the fact that, at this point in previous seasons, the points deficit between Liverpool and the top team was considerably greater than the current state, where Liverpool find themselves 12 points back, but with a game in hand (in the '05-'06 season they were short of Chelsea's mid-season total by some 30 odd points, and similarly (hopelessly) adrift of Manchester United's point totals last season at the halfway point). This gives the supporters a sliver of hope that a long awaited League title may still be possible, though implausible (especially when the top two squads, Arsenal and Man. U. look to be in control at the moment). Inevitably, the press have used this run of form to; begin anew discussions about Rafa's strained relationship with ownership, print some bollocks from a "friend" of Rafa who says the man thinks his days are numbered, continue sandbagging a club in need of some good news this season, yadda, yadda, b.s, b.s. All I can say for sure, is that letting go of a man who has had more success in his first 3 seasons than the two managers currently atop the standings enjoyed at their clubs in comparable time, would be a disaster of Chernobyl-esque proportions (but with less death and disfigurement - there would be some, just not quite so awful). This is made even more poignant by the good news that follows.
Today, at Anfield, 23 year old defender Martin Skrtel (pronounced skur-tell (accent the last bit)) completed a deal to move from Zenit St. Petersburg to Liverpool Football Club. The defender is big, tough, and aggressive, and a welcome addition to an aging back line, weakened by the injury of the impressive Dane, Daniel Agger. This injury had left the club in desperate need to find someone to give the aging, yet still profoundly active, Sami Hyypia some much needed respite. From what I can gather, Rafa was a huge influence on making this deal, and the Slovakian defender said as much during his introductions. The club paid a record fee (for a defender) to make this move, and the question becomes, why make such a splash for the manager if he may not be around much longer? The answer should be simple. The American ownership would not spend such dough (somewheres in the realm of 6.5 mil. pounds) if indeed they were choosing to retool the management at the end of the season, because such an overhaul would require funds being spent for the new manager's aquisitions. Let's pray this blatant hopefulness on my part is in fact reality. The club needs some stability after the acquisition last year by the Americans.

Speaking of stability, Xabi Alonso has been making his way back into the side, after two metatarsal injuries earlier in the campaign. If he makes a start against Middlesbrough at the Riverside on Saturday, it would be his 100th appearance for the club. This would make him the first Spaniard in the illustrious history of LFC to reach the century mark. Considering his signing was the work of Rafa, and the young Spaniard has quickly gained status as one of the best passers in the game, yet another reason for Benitez's continued reign becomes clear.

At present, there are excessive off-the-pitch questions, some injury concerns, and permeating fear in the ranks of the supporters about the most popular manager since King Kenny. Because of all this, I hesitate to prognosticate anything. Making matters worse is the fact that the Riverside has been a house of horrors for the Redmen in recent times. I will make my way for the essential pub appearance to watch it live, entrenched beneath the enourmous LFC flag, with a developing ulcer and a nicotine fix that could drive an elephant mad (but must wait for the half, thank you very much fascist health nuts), and visualize a victory. Hopefully, Fernando Torres (with whom the Lady is competing for my affections) will make this vision reality and assuage some of my concerns, if only for the rest of the day. She could really use a good date night (much deserved, I might add, after recent illness and craptacular work hours) and some peace of mind regarding the safety of the bones in my hand. Though if he does score, it may be the final nail in my straight coffin, as i would most certainly go gay for Nando....lets hope.