Baseball Links

Benny and I have two baseball drafts today, one AL Only and one NL Only. They are both live online auction drafts which will probably end up taking in excess of 6 hours to complete. On a related note, I have been awake since 5am, worked out, had coffee, showered and taken my dog for a walk… all before 9am. I’m a bundle of nervous energy. On a completely unrelated note, it’s supposed to be sunny and in the low 60’s today in Charlottesville. Who knows, I might even step outside between drafts and enjoy it for a few minutes. But in the end, I think we all know the only sunburn I’m going to get today is from my computer screen and I’m OK with that.

We are on the doorstep of my favorite season. I acknowledge the NFL as a close second, but for my money nothing will ever equal an afternoon at the ballpark. There’s something so distinctly American about a hot dog and a cold beer and some sunflower seeds. I can’t get over the fact that my mind aches for baseball as early as January and doesn’t dissipate until the final out has been tallied. Waking up this week and watching a couple of meaningful innings between the Red Sox and Athletics has been good for my soul and now, with the REAL Opening Day just hours away, I’m obliged to share some links while I kneed the same sweaty glove in anticipation for the glorious centennial of my beloved Cubbies.


- I’ve been reading the Roto Arcade pieces on Yahoo Sports lately by Andy Behrens and found them to be interesting if not downright enjoyable. The one that had Benny chirping recently that his drafting strategies of the past were “ahead of their time” was an article entitled: Head-to-Head Strategy: the Distler School of Management. The basic premise was that this kid would draft all pitchers in the first 12 rounds of head2head leagues and then round out his position players with stolen base aficionados in order to win every week 6-4. It’s an interesting strategy, but the razor thin margin for error makes this endeavor seem fruitless. Also, there’s really no fun in this practice unless your only goal is making money… which leads me to the next link…

- I rather liked Cracked.com's Who’s in your fantasy league? This is personally rewarding because my boy Benny C falls into many of these categories simultaneously: The Stat Pro, The Dark Horse Guy, The You Stole My Pick Guy and The Awful Pick Guy. He’s also the guy who said (and I quote), “Chipper Jones falling to me with the 12th overall pick is like Peyton Manning falling to me with the 10th overall pick the year he threw for 47 touchdowns.” I’m not sure what his BAC level was when he typed these words, but really, there is no feasible reality where this makes any sense.

- This is less of a link and more of a straight forward endorsement. These guys are pound for pound some of the funniest writers on the internet with respect to any genre, plus they dress down all the idiotic baseball writers that plague this fine country. If you have any love for baseball and its minutia and you enjoy laughing, there’s no reason why you don’t check this site at least once a week.

- I find Jay Mariotti’s brand of over the top bravado to be sad and pathetic. The fact that he is gainfully employed as an opinion maker in print, radio AND television in my hometown is a sad fact that I carry around like a great boulder of shame. It’s basically what’s wrong with sports coverage today. For every Peter Gammons and Tony Kornheiser, there are 10 Mariotti’s. Jay the Joke's take on the Brian Roberts no deal was predictable, obnoxious and poorly written. However, The Heckler took a different approach to the whole saga did considerably better. Either way, I feel like B Rob, steroids baggage and all would have been a huge boost. It really makes me hope this Gallagher kid pans out THIS YEAR, otherwise I’ll be a little cheesed.

- UmpBump’s milestones to watch for outline quite a year ahead of us. I'm not sure how much the homerun statistic means anymore, but I love when careers are put in perspective and big round numbers flash on the Jumbotron while they round the bases.

Some YouTube Classics:

George Carlin's Baseball vs. Football
Probably one of Carlin's best bits ever.

Baseball Great moments
Not gunna lie, I got some goosebumps watching this.

Lee Elia Tirade
I have no idea why this Cubs manager got fired the day after this innocent enough soundbite.

Growing Another Year Older in the Kerry Wood Era

Kerry Wood managed to sit down 20 Houston Astros on May 6th, 1998 by means of the strikeout in only his fifth major league start. It was a one-hit, no walk piece of pitching mastery. He joined Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens (who did it twice) as the only other pitchers to ever attain that tremendous distinction (The Big Unit’s game went 11 innings but he recorded all 20 strikeouts in the first nine innings of work. MLB has recently recognized this as having tied the record). According to statistician Bill James’s Game Score system, which attempts to assign a numerical value to a start, Wood’s performance scored a 105, the highest baseball history.

Today, we’re only seven weeks out from the 10th anniversary of The Kerry Wood Game. When this young Texas fireballer hit the scene the Cubs were merely the Sammy Sosa show with manager Jim Riggleman serving as the maestro of mediocrity. Things seemed to change that May afternoon because we had something to believe in, an anchor for the future. Wood won the ROY in 1998 with the following line: 13-6, 166 IP, 3.40 ERA, 233 K’s, 85 BB’s. The Cubbies made the playoffs as a wildcard and were promptly swept out of the postseason by the loaded Braves. Everyone always remembers that season as the Sosa-McGuire summer, but I’ll always remember it as something more. It was the year we got our first glimpse of Kerry Wood.

Cubs Haters and Masters of the Obvious love to point out that he’s only been an All-Star once, never won 15 games and only pitched over 200 innings twice. He’s considered a bust by all reasonable definitions of that word. Well, that’s only part of the story. For every Cubs fan, Kerry Wood represents something bigger than just his numbers. He’s pitched for the Cubs in three separate postseason appearances, something not many players can claim. He stroked one of the most memorable homeruns of my life (Game 7 of the 2003 NLCS). He took the hometown discount and assumed a new role for the good of the team. While I understand that he's only pitched 44 innings in the past two years (by far the least productive period of his career), I've got this feeling like he's finally healthy for once. This is the first time he's started the season off the DL and in the bullpen. I’m not exactly sure what to expect, but I wouldn't be shocked if he regained some of that magic we all know is there. I'm an optimist by necessity which is why I believe March is the greatest baseball month of the year. I also believe that Marmol, Howry and Wood in the 7th, 8th and 9th is a pretty damn ferocious trio. Opening Day can't come soon enough...

And without further ado, I give you the man I consider the second Mr. Cub of the modern era (after Ryno)...

Not so Crazy (Elite) Eight

In a nod to the NCAA Tournament Selection Committee and to the dominance of four 1-seeds during the season, it would seem that this year there will not be too many surprises at the top of the bracket and the numbers bear this out.

Using the criterion established in the first part of this post in selecting which teams are most likely to reach the Elite Eight (i.e. record vs. top 50 RPI, undefeated vs. RPI 100+, > 6-4 record in the 10 games preceding the NCAA Tournament, top 15 in either Ken Pomeroy's adjusted offensive efficiency or adjusted defensive efficiency), 7 teams (North Carolina, Tennessee, Kansas, Wisconsin, Georgetown, Memphis, and Xavier) perfectly match the qualities of the group that made up 2007's Elite Eight. This is somewhat problematic because 7 doesn't make 8 unless you're this guy and because Georgetown and Wisconsin are slated to play each other in the Sweet Sixteen Round (thus only 1 of them will reach the Elite Eight), leaving 2 spots to be filled by teams with some blemishes according to this rubric.

North Carolina, Tennessee, Kansas, and Memphis, not surprisingly, are the best bets to win each of their first 3 games of the NCAA Tournament. They are 1, 2, 5, 3 in RPI, respectively, and have dominated RPI Top 50 foes to the tune of 34-7 and, with the exception of Tennessee, are in the Top 5 in efficiency ratings. Accordingly, of this group, I believe that Tennessee will have the most difficulty in advancing to the end of the Regionals because they face a stern tests against Butler and Louisville.

Moving on to the 5th Elite Eight team, Xavier may be somewhat of a surprise as they are projected to face Duke in the Sweet Sixteen. Xavier advances here because Duke has lost 4 games in the past month (to Wake Forest, Miami, North Carolina, and Clemson), which is disturbing because before the Wake Forest game, Duke had only lost once the entire year and because Xavier is clearly superior to 3 of the 4 teams on that list. Additionally, the Selection Committee has finally taken Duke's dick out of its mouth and for the first time in recent memory, has sent the Blue Devils out West, far from the homecourt advantage they have been afforded when playing in Charlotte, Greensboro, or Raleigh.

In the potentially epic Wisconsin-Georgetown throwdown, both teams bring equally impressive performances during the regular season. Wisconsin has the slight edge because of 3 factors: (i) the game will be played in Detroit, easily accessible to the minions of Badger-faithful who have a reputation for traveling well to neutral sites; (ii) Wisconsin has won its last 10 games, including a relatively easy romp through the Big 10 Tournament; and (iii) Defense wins championships (or, in this case, a berth to the Elite Eight). Wisconsin's adjusted defensive efficiency, measuring points allowed for every 100 possessions, block rate, steal rate, turnover percentage, defensive rebounding percentage, etc., is #1 in Division I.

Now to the two remaining spots to be filled by a marginally "flawed" team. Initially, before the brackets were released, I eliminated UCLA and Texas for the sole reason that they were not perfect against teams with an RPI over 100, the logic being that a single loss to a team that they should not only beat, but beat convincingly, is indicative of a dearth in focus or a susceptibility to playing to their opponents' level and would leave them vulnerable to losing once in the first 3 games of the Tournament. A loss to Washington or Missouri (albeit a road loss) is borderline inexcusable in much the same way that it is inexcusable to finish with a sub .500 record against the Top 50 in RPI. But, like UNLV last year, UCLA and Texas will be the exceptions to the rule because they are strong by all the other measures of a team's success.

I know these picks are not necessarily sexy (no seed lower than 3 will make it past the Sweet Sixteen) or may not be a real revelation given the strength of the contenders, but I've done this more as an experiment to determine a system for making better predictions and providing some sensical way to interpret the data we're bombarded with during March Madness. 1 or 2 Elite Eight teams wrong is a failure and will require a broader study of NCAA Tournament history.
4 or more teams wrong and I'll beg you to never bring this up again and I promise to never to write authoritatively about college basketball.

For the record, for the rest of the bracket, I think this year will be devoid of 12-5 upsets, the 6-11 and 7-10 games will be split by the higher and lower seeds, 8s will beat 9s (3-1), and the 1-seeds will all advance to the Final Four for the first time since the 1985 when the bracket expanded to accomodate 64 teams. Oddly enough, because this prediction is at odds with an established historical trend, if any of the 1-seeds are going to be upset it's going to occur in the Elite Eight.

In the most unpredictable playoff of them all, only one thing is for sure. We'll all know how wrong I am on March 28th.

I Shouldn't Gloat...but I will

In England this past weekend, the quarterfinal matches of the F.A. Cup were played out on multiple and diverse pitches. For those of us who watched our clubs plummet out of the competition, there seemed little of interest in the fixture list which pitted a couple of championship sides against a pair of remaining Premier League squads, a lower league knockdown-drag out-back-alley style brawl, and an enticing Prem. v. Prem. game which most certainly had our own benny c fluctuating in waves of excitement and dread (that is, if his mild depression of late over the loss of a certain number 4 of the green and gold persuasion had finally abated enough for him to resume normal activity/inactivity). This last match certainly had my attention, as it pitted the bitter rivals of my beloved LFC, Manchester United, against the titans of the south coast, Portsmouth. I had everything going for me in this one, a vested interest on behalf of a buddy and a seething antipathy for their overly-glorified opposition, and at Old Trafford no less. Needless to say, but my affections were overwhelmingly in favor of Pompey, those wacky port-towners.

The game itself was a great watch, despite what so many ignorant footy-haters say about 1-0 matches that are decided late on. There were goal line clearances, superb shots followed by stunning saves, committed defensive displays (which was a bit surprising given some rather lackluster displays by the Portsmouth back line in the League), and plenty of talking points regarding refereeing decisions. In the end, Pompey snuck away victorious and based solely on the match action, the result matched the play on the pitch. This may seem overstated, as United controlled the vast majority of the game, but Pompey’s timely and steadfast defending deserved, at the very least, a clean sheet. Based on the last ditch efforts and the manner in which the Portsmouth defense continued to block shots and attacking moves, they deserved no less than a replay and instead got the bit of good fortune they needed to dispatch the Red Devils on their home pitch for the first time since 1957. The defending was such that no Man of the Match could be singled out from the back line. Instead, the match ball should be shared by Glen Johnson, Sylvain Distin, Sol Campbell, Hermann Hreidarsson, Lassana Diarra, and my favorite name to say, Papa Bouba Diop. Of course, Sulley Muntari does deserve a great bit of credit for finishing a result well earned with yet another powerful, yet coolly taken penalty. Said penalty was earned after former Red, Milan Baros, broke in on goal, only to be felled by United’s back-up keeper Tomasz Kuszczak. While I can agree that this could easily have not been called, United have always seemed to benefit from questionable decisions. For this LFC supporter, the irony and the resulting Alex Ferguson tirade/tantrum, were just too delicious for words. Congratulations to Pompey. The road to the final has been thinned.

This thinning of the top tier of the field was done by Robbie Fowler’s (known simply as God by all Liverpool supporters) new club Cardiff City, who dispatched Middlesbrough fairly competently with two splendid goals; one after some deft maneuvering and a stupendous finish by Peter Whittingham and the other from a dead ball crossed by Whittingham and headed home by Roger Johnson. And these two goals within 25 minutes after kick-off held up, as the Bluebirds sent Boro home nursing a 2-0 defeat. The others of the two Premiership sides to fall at the hands of Championship opposition were the mighty billionaires of Chelsea F.C. They, like the Reds, tumbled out of the competition at the hands of Barnsley (who shall now be known as David, slayer of GoliathS). It was a tough match on an unfavorable pitch at the home of Barnsley, Oakwell Stadium, but there were ample opportunities for the Blues to dispatch the plucky Championship outfit. Just like United however, a wealth of chances resulted in a dearth of goals and now Chelsea find themselves relegated to watching the Cup Final on the tele with the rest of the “Big Four”.

And now I must restate: THIS IS WHY THE F.A. CUP IS THE BEST DOMESTIC CUP COMPETITION IN THE WORLD.

What a great weekend.

Sean Singletary's Legacy

Sean Singletary arrived at Virginia the year after I graduated. I remember talking to Benny on the eve of the 2004-05 college basketball season and asking him what he had heard of the new recruits. He simply told me, “I’ve heard this Singletary kid can play.”

By all standards, the Wahoo Men’s Basketball program was in disarray when Benny and I left to seek gainful employment. Save for some Todd Billet sharp shooting heroics, our bubble seemed to continuously burst every February. They played sloppy, uninspired, plodding basketball. Our big man was talented but ate too much, now he’s an NBDL All-Star which is like winning the sack race at summer camp. It’s an accomplishment, sure, but you’re back to sleeping on a cot at the end of the day. Our point guard notoriously got into fist fights at bars and regularly told every woman in earshot that he had something for them to do... “this dick” (true story). He finished his collegiate career playing at Murray State and fervently followed the specifics of statutory consent laws within the great state of Kentucky. The coach was gregarious and had a great Brooklyn accent, but his likability could only serve him through so many losing seasons. Therefore, it’s ironic (I’m not sure if I’m using that right, I gotta consult Alanis) that Pete Gillen’s best contribution as coach of the Cavs was to recruit Sean Singletary.

Last night Sean Singletary had his Senior Night. He had his jersey retired, scored his 2,000th point and led his team to victory over the Maryland Terrapins. In my 18 years of watching Virginia basketball, there has never been a more beloved player and better ambassador for the University. He carried this program to new heights with his gritty, yet understated leadership. He embodied Tom Landry’s mantra, “Act like you’ve been there before”. After a sensational drive to the basket or circus shot, he’d very rarely pound his chest or gesture to the crowd. The closest he came to posturing was when he pointed at the ESPN camera after beating Duke last year with a baseline fallaway, but that wasn’t him being cocky, that was just him being awesome:

What I loved most about the Singletary era of Virginia basketball was his heart. He played through hip pointers, sustained flus and questionable supporting casts with determination and resolve. He CARED about the team and was humble enough to understand the dynamic of winning basketball. After an emotional Senior Night, he joked that he had cried so much after the team’s loses this season that he didn’t have any tears left. I think a defining moment for Sean came at the end of the Tennessee game in the NCAA tourney last year. He had a chance to send the game to overtime and possibly propel UVa to their first Sweet Sixteen since 1995. His last second three-pointer drew the back iron and he collapsed to the floor, sobbing. For me, this was a disappointing outcome, but based on his reaction, you could see that Sean was forever changed. His best shot at a winner was gone and in that moment you could see how bright his fire burned for this team, for this game.

My hopes are that he gets drafted in the late first round by a playoff team because many perennial lottery teams will be scared off by his size. I think he’ll be a liability on defense against bigger guards, but could be used very effectively as a change of pace floor general much like Earl Boykins or Devin Harris. Either way, he’s a legend in Charlottesville no matter what his NBA career ultimately becomes. It’s going to be difficult to face next season without him, but underclassmen like Lars, Baker, Diane, Tucker and Scott have shown enough promise to settle the initial fear of life without #44. Chris Long and Sean Singletary both moving on in the same season, it’s truly a sad year in Hooville.

The Black and Blue Division just lost a Hero

Ben and I spoke the other day in muted tones. His pain was all too evident (even over IM) when ESPN started the continuous coverage of Brett Lorenzo Favre after the announcement of his retirement. Ben said, “I’m baffled. Why this year? The team is as good as ever.” I tried to sympathize with him by sharing my experience of losing MJ to his second retirement. I even tried quipping that at least Brett wouldn’t play two lackluster seasons with the Redskins for no discernable reason. While I couldn’t see his expressions, I could sense that these sentiments were falling on the deaf ears of a shocked and saddened man. I asked him if he was going to write a “thank you” post recalling epic moments that shaped his football watching life, but he replied, “We’ll see, it’s just not real right now. He can still change his mind, you know, like midseason when the pack is 4-4. It’s better for me emotionally not to have to confront this until September.”


And you know what? I respect that. I listened to his press conference today and I was touched at how humble and emotional he was about the game of football, the Packers and his life in general. I always knew this about the man, but you never realize it as much as when it’s leaving your life. As a Bears fan, I hated the fact that I was conditioned to hate him. Truth be told, I never really hated him. I just grew frustrated that, since I was eleven years old, my team had to play him twice a year. Never have I seen a player command such a deserving respect from everyone who watched him, on and off the field. I can’t do this moment justice, but I just wanted to put in my two cents. It’s a sad day for the game of football.

For this reason, as well as many others, I understand why Ben doesn’t want to directly address this issue. After all, Spring Training is underway. March Madness is a scant two weeks away. UEFA Cup contestants will be whittled down to eight teams by next week. The NBA West playoffs will be required viewing for every true basketball fan with a pulse. Why complicate such a joyous sports atmosphere with such delicate emotions that arrive when your childhood hero decides to hang up the pads? Benny, don’t pen a word about it until you are ready. It’s completely understandable. All I want to say from one friend to another, that if this sticks, then I don’t envy your Sunday’s from here on out. You’ll be watching a completely different game than the one you’ve been experiencing since 1992. One consolation (if you can call it that) is that you do have three selections in the first two rounds of the NFL Draft next month. The Legend of Favre grows and lives in the stories and DVD’s you hold dear. The sun will shine again and the snow will fall again at Lambeau. Hey, come to think of it.. wasn’t John David Booty also a discounted product of the Gulf Coast region too? Did somebody leave a window open? God... is that you?

Sorry, not funny. I take it back.

The World is Our Oyster (cuz that's literally all it is)

In most of my posts, I’ve been harping on and on (and on and on and on and on) about how Liverpool’s position in the table was not necessarily a true indication of where they could be because, for the better part of this season, they had played one fewer game than their closest competitors. Yesterday evening the Reds got their opportunity to overtake fourth place from local rivals Everton F.C. – which they did by bludgeoning West Ham United. A 4-nil defeat of the Hammers edged Liverpool F.C. just in front of the Toffees on goal differential alone (which grew thanks to the lopsided score-line). It appears as though Liverpool are beginning to find their chemistry and form when it matters most – the stretch run. They have found themselves in the midst of a clusterfuck for the last Champions League place and fighting against a very in form Everton, a consistent Aston Villa side, and a host of others closing in (Blackburn, Manchester City, and even Portsmouth). As the title race heats up, the relegation battle rages, and said rat screw for European berths consolidates, there is a great deal to enjoy during this last quarter of the season.

Now, some examination of Liverpool’s recent hot streak is necessary as it illustrates some of my previous points regarding the overtly lackluster middle portion of this campaign. First, and most importantly, is the sizzling form of Fernando Torres. He recorded a second consecutive hat-trick at Anfield, the first time that has happened for the Redmen since 1946. The post match remarks expounded on his delight and educed his true humility. Nando stated,

“I only learned of the record after the game and it is a big honour for me. This club has a wonderful history so to be a part of that is very special and it is something I am very proud of. But it is also a record for everyone at the club because it would be impossible for me to score goals if it was not for my team-mates, the manager, the coaching staff, everyone. I feel really lucky and also humble to be loved by the crowd but what I would say is that I love them also. They have supported me since I first came to the club and I want to keep on scoring goals for them. The Liverpool fans are special and it is an honour for me to play for them, so if I can make them happy then I will be happy.”

Such genuine reluctance to grab his nuts and say “I know you all want these. Approach softly and caress them lovingly with your tongues!” belies his on-field demeanor. He is a badass who puts himself about – he disrupts the defenders, aggressively pursues any ball which he feels he can win, and punishes defences who feel they may be able to bully him out of the match. Finding a centre forward who: works so hard for the team on defense, pulls men out wide to open up space, or carries himself with such dignity and humility appears nearly impossible in modern sport. Yet, Liverpool F.C. have two such players. Even during a season that could only be described as an absolute howler, by himself to boot, Dirk Kuyt never stopped his renowned engine. ‘Twas a thing of beauty to watch the way the forward four players discomposed the Hammers’ back line during the match Wednesday. Many attribute this kind of high tempo to the way the forwards set about in the early stages of a match, basically alluding to a contagious commitment and sense of purpose. This point may be tough to argue, especially considering the Reds recent consistency in attack has coincided with Dirk Kuyt’s reemergence from the doldrums.

Another important factor in examining the sensational offensive displays of late is Rafael Benitez’s shift from a traditional 4-4-2 formation. Normally, English sides prefer the fairly simple set-up as it covers all aspects of the field and allows for natural two-pronged counter and build-up attacks. However, Rafa has recently employed a slightly more complex 4-2-3-1 because of his wealth in the centre of midfield and seeming lack of depth in the wide areas. Don’t misinterpret me here, I love Yossi Benayoun and Jermaine Pennant, but both lack certain qualities which Dirk Kuyt more completely displays on the right side of midfield. Yossi can finish with the best of them (as evidenced by his multiple hat tricks and other goals) but lacks in defensive awareness and staying wide to cross the ball. Jermaine likewise sometimes displays slipshod defending, but excels in stretching the opposition defense by utilizing the wide spaces and in lobbing crosses into the box as if from a fully automatic foot powered weapon, but rarely scores. Because of this, Rafa is most confident with variations on this lineup:

Reina

Arbeloa/Finnan – Carra/Skrtel – Skrtel/Hyypia – Riise/Aurelio

Alonso/Lucas – Masch/ Lucas

Kuyt/Pennant -- Gerrard -- Babel/Yossi

Torres

In this style of play, Gerrard roams freely in support of Fernando and the wide players as an attacking midfielder. He can interchange with either side, allowing the adept finishers in Babel and Kuyt to push inside and get into scoring postitions. There is a great deal of freedom in this system, but it took some time for most of these players to gain confidence in their own field/play awareness to adopt such a style. Considering the vast majority of this squad is still new to Liverpool F.C., with most only having been at the club for 1-1/2 to 2 years (with some key members in only their first season), it should come as no surprise that implementing a more complex system would take some time. But, from what I can gather, Rafa utilized this system at his previous club, Valencia, to resounding success and had wanted to do the same at LFC. Once he felt the personnel was equal to the task, he set about implementing it, to rave reviews. During their four game win streak they have outscored their opposition 12-3. During this span, less has been made of Rafa’s job security, especially since even the most adamant detractors can plainly see the success of so many of his signings. Young Lucas Leiva has dazzled, Ryan Babel gains more confidence every time he shreds the opposition fullbacks, Martin Skrtel has proved intelligent/aggressive/tactically astute/comfortable in possession, and Fernando Torres has been a revelation in only his first season in English Football, netting 24 times in all competitions after his latest hat trick. Finally, the confidence level swells before the supporters’ eyes. And ‘tis a beautiful thing.

Side Notes: I choose not to touch on all the reports of ownership shifts as this whole mess has been an embarrassment to the club. Whoever ends up with control must understand that there will not be an easy feeling amongst supporters towards the directorship until all the promises of last season’s take-over are made reality, and our beloved club returns to the “Liverpool Way” of staying out of the limelight, off the back pages, and lets the football, records, and trophies speak for themselves.

At the conclusion of last night's match, Steve Gerrard, Gerrard toyed with head referee Steve Bennett by playing keep-away with the match ball before yoinking it and handing it over to Fernando Torres. The joy on both of their mugs was tangible and illustrates their mutual admiration and also their places as two of the world's best. Oh, to be a part of a man-sandwich with those two as the bread.

Also, Adriana Monsalve is adorable and I no longer want anyone but her giving ESPN Deportes Updates regarding footy.