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-Dirty, Benny and AK
THREE GUYS CLOGGING UP AN ALREADY CROWDED
BLOGOSPHERE WITH SPORTS RANTS. HOW NOVEL.
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Bowler and Benny is your one-stop shop for Chicago Cubs, Chicago Bears, Chicago Bulls, Green Bay Packers, Milwaukee Brewers, Milwaukee Bucks, Liverpool F.C., Portsmouth F.C. and University of Virginia Athletics coverage. So if you are one of the infinitesimal few who happen to root under that highly specialized umbrella, you're in luck...
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Dirty McLiverbird
Dirty McLiverbird (aka Kurt or Kurt Dirty) was born and raised in Chicago. He is, among other things; renowned the world over as a first class "lightweight"/"sally" when it comes to throwin' a few back, a self-proclaimed “king of quotations” especially in regards to Simpsons episodes and Mel Brooks movies, and the best big game contributor in the history of youth and high school sport (having secured a little league baseball title with heart-stopping diving catches and a near perfect batting average in the championship game, and ensuring an undefeated campaign in the final match of his footy career with a screaming volley into the side netting and a weighted pass to the forward streaking behind the opposition defense). He is a modest man (obviously) and though rarely seen abroad, his tastes in sport designate him as the resident teasipper. Despite majoring in English Literature, his writing seems devoid of any training in syntax. Odd isn't it.
Favorite Teams: Liverpool F.C., Chicago Cubs, Chicago Bulls, Chicago Bears
Favorite Teams: Liverpool F.C., Chicago Cubs, Chicago Bulls, Chicago Bears
Benny C
Benny, alias Benny C, was raised on the south shore of Long Island and is proud to report that his childhood consisted of nimbly dodging some of the more loathesome consequences of an upbringing there and has never believed that coffee is truly pronounced "cAUWffee". He currently roosts in Hoboken, the birthplace of baseball, and a Sean Singeltary drive to the basket (that's 5 steps) across the Hudson River from the capital of the world.
While his life force is consistently depleted each day by the duties of a paralegal in a trusts and estates law firm headed by an individual who clearly suffers from antisocial disorder and various other maladaptive behaviors, he dreams the dream of a study that smells of leather-bound books and pipe tobacco, taxidermy and oil paintings of Waterloo. A man who appreciates the joys of an afternoon spent in solitude with a Playstation controller, a bottle of Bacardi, Bruce Catton's Stillness at Appomattox, and a pair of boxers (if we're lucky), it would be astonishing that he is able to maintain and cultivate a committed relationship with a member of the opposite sex, save for one irrefutable fact. Benny C loves commitment.
As this blog can attest, the above picture is a near perfect embodiment of what drives this Welsh-Austrian mutt in his day-to-day athletic pursuits. Notice the goofiest of grins that comes with an unabashed man crush and the realization that Brett Favre's hands touched that picture. Ladies, those are the same hands that have thrown for the most touchdowns AND the most interceptions in NFL history. Goddamn right.
Favorite Teams: Green Bay Packers, Milwaukee Brewers, Milwaukee Bucks, WA-HOO-WA, Pompey, New York Islanders (I know, it stings me a little, too to come out of the closet like this)
While his life force is consistently depleted each day by the duties of a paralegal in a trusts and estates law firm headed by an individual who clearly suffers from antisocial disorder and various other maladaptive behaviors, he dreams the dream of a study that smells of leather-bound books and pipe tobacco, taxidermy and oil paintings of Waterloo. A man who appreciates the joys of an afternoon spent in solitude with a Playstation controller, a bottle of Bacardi, Bruce Catton's Stillness at Appomattox, and a pair of boxers (if we're lucky), it would be astonishing that he is able to maintain and cultivate a committed relationship with a member of the opposite sex, save for one irrefutable fact. Benny C loves commitment.
As this blog can attest, the above picture is a near perfect embodiment of what drives this Welsh-Austrian mutt in his day-to-day athletic pursuits. Notice the goofiest of grins that comes with an unabashed man crush and the realization that Brett Favre's hands touched that picture. Ladies, those are the same hands that have thrown for the most touchdowns AND the most interceptions in NFL history. Goddamn right.
Favorite Teams: Green Bay Packers, Milwaukee Brewers, Milwaukee Bucks, WA-HOO-WA, Pompey, New York Islanders (I know, it stings me a little, too to come out of the closet like this)
The Bowler
The Bowler (aka AK or Don Alan) is a 26-year-old Chicago native who enjoys public television, cold beer and fly-fishing. While "Blues Brothers" is not his favorite movie, it probably should be. Despite the fact that he has never grabbed rim once, he played freshman basketball at Loyola Academy and led the team in smacking the floor on defense. People tell him he looks like Wayne Arnold from "The Wonder Years" but he fails to see the resemblance. He was Sports Editor of the YEAR '99 and is a longstanding Commissioner of multiple fantasy leagues, although neither of these facts impresses the ladies like you'd think. He attended the University of Virginia, joined a fraternity, majored in psychology and eluded police. Since graduation, he has been roaming the countryside looking for a foothold to greatness (i.e. a community that desperately needs an affable young go-getter to open a mini-golf course with a liquor license).
Favorite Teams: Chicago Bears, Chicago Cubs, Chicago Bulls, Virginia Athletics, Liverpool F.C.
Favorite Teams: Chicago Bears, Chicago Cubs, Chicago Bulls, Virginia Athletics, Liverpool F.C.
TOP FIVE BIGGEST QUARTERBACK BUSTS OF THE LAST 15 YEARS
5) Rick Mirer
4) Akili Smith
3) Cade McNown
2) Ron Paulus
1) Ryan Leaf
4) Akili Smith
3) Cade McNown
2) Ron Paulus
1) Ryan Leaf
TOP FIVE INTENSELY FLAWED SPORTS MOVIE CHARACTERS (REAL OR FICTIONAL)
5) Rodney Dangerfield's character in Ladybugs (who the hell dresses their son up like a girl to win soccer games?)
4) Steve Lattimer from The Program
3) Billy Hoyle from White Men Can't Jump
2) Mr. Buttermaker from Bad News Bears
1) Jake La Motta from Raging Bull
4) Steve Lattimer from The Program
3) Billy Hoyle from White Men Can't Jump
2) Mr. Buttermaker from Bad News Bears
1) Jake La Motta from Raging Bull
TOP FIVE SOCIALLY MALADJUSTED SPORTS FIGURES
5) Terrell Owens
4) Milton Bradley
3) Barry Bonds
2) Ron Artest
1) Mike Tyson
4) Milton Bradley
3) Barry Bonds
2) Ron Artest
1) Mike Tyson
TOP FIVE MOST MISERABLE SPORTS COLUMNISTS TURNED TALKING HEADS
5) Woody Paige
4) Scoop Jackson
3) Stephen A. Smith
2) Jay Mariotti
1) Skip Bayless
4) Scoop Jackson
3) Stephen A. Smith
2) Jay Mariotti
1) Skip Bayless
TOP FIVE ALL-TIME AWESOME NAMES FOR NBA BALLERS
5) Dikembe Mutombo
4) Detlef Schrempf
3) Sarunas Jasikevicius
2) Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf
1) God Shammgod
4) Detlef Schrempf
3) Sarunas Jasikevicius
2) Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf
1) God Shammgod
TOP FIVE MOVIES INVOLVING DOGS AS KEY COMPONENTS OF YOUTH SPORTS TEAMS
5) Air Bud: World Pup
4) Air Bud: Spikes Back
3) Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch
2) Air Bud: Golden Receiver
1) Air Bud (the original)
4) Air Bud: Spikes Back
3) Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch
2) Air Bud: Golden Receiver
1) Air Bud (the original)
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