Showing posts with label Barry Bonds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Barry Bonds. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Yes, he's an asshole... But there's more.

Barry Lamar Bonds is a tremendous baseball player. He's the best player of the past twenty years and it's not even a debate. Nobody could possibly argue against that (except possibly Skip Bayless, but I'm fairly certain his hatred towards the world was forged at a young age when he was placed in a burlap sack and ritualistically beaten every time he produced audible laughter... so we'll give him a free pass). Bonds has a once-in-a-generation talent. His father was a three time All-Star. His godfather was the greatest centerfielder to ever pick up a bat and put on a glove. His life started in the dugout, surrounded by giants (quite literally), enveloped in a love affair with the game of baseball. And despite his prickly demeanor and his callow sense of entitlement, he excelled at a ledgendary clip. He played baseball without ever truly "playing ball" (in the social sense) and some would consider that admirable. At the age of 28, he landed back where it all began in San Francisco. He started stockpiling consecutive MVP's, continuing his already impressive collection of Gold Gloves and, eventually, augmenting his breathtaking skill with artificial growth hormones. Records were smashed. Books were written. People debated. The End. Sorta.


Here's the thing... I understand that we've been on steroid-talk overload for the past five years. I understand that we have been on Barry Bonds-talk overload for the past three years (when it became apparent that Ruth was inevitable and Aaron was entirely feasible). That being said, I don't think the overload overkill should be glanced over so cavalierly by my esteemed colleague. Justifiable disgust and the resultant antagonism, even after it has been cooled from a rolling boil to something stale and tepid, is still ever present and applicable. This upcoming 756th homerun is compromised. The very number itself doesn't really represent anything beyond that which is falsely tangible. To contend that the grace and simple beauty of Bond's swing is reason enough why we should bang pots-and-pans and stomp our feet when that baseball sails over the wall is somewhat vexing. His induction into the Hall of Fame will be the ultimate affirmation of his success on the diamond, not this particular moment. Ben was correct in stating that we can never get the numbers/eras/comparisons absolutely right, but what we can do is approach this milestone with appropriate perspective. I haven't decided to drink any Kool-Aid here, I've merely decided not to conveniently discard the context of the situation. I'll watch with rapt attention when Bonds wears the HOF jacket and addresses the crowd at Cooperstown. I'll tell my kids about the nastiness that was his approach at the plate and how pitchers FEARED him. However, I simply choose not to celebrate a (is it hallowed or hollowed?) homerun that's supposed to commemorate two decades of stellar play when the number itself isn't a true representation of the player (albeit a great one).

Saturday, July 21, 2007

AK Drinks the Kool-Aid.

apparently, in order for success to be respected, admired, and lauded, an individual needs to be...
friendly.
(holy shit, abc is using a "segway" for its cameramen at the british open. and they're pimping it. this world is devolving into a hell that trumps the darkest nightmare of george orwell).
by the accounts that matter, barry bonds is an asshole. so-the-fuck-what. i am an asshole. most people i know are assholes. most of the people that i don't know are assholes. i think it's a cultural thing.
henry "hank" aaron hit 755 home runs during his major league career. to date, no one (in the major leagues - if the media is going to devote so much time to the integrity of aaron's home run total, it is completely racist of them to ignore josh gibson at this critical time) has hit more. barry bonds is still playing and has hit 753 home runs during his major league career.
(i just figured out exactly what a "belly-putter" was. it looks like stimulating the g-spot on your umbilicus improves your golf game. jim furyk is using fluff as his caddy. is there such a thing as sloppy seconds in golf?).
barry bonds will absolutely squvish hank's record.
(carnoustie is absolutely beautiful. did sergio just swipe his golf ball on his sac?)
as baseball exists into perpetuity, less attention will be paid to concrete and fixed numbers, and more will be paid to statistics that quantify the peak of an era. the pinnacle of accomplishment in a field of expertise. certainly, baseball players are more skilled, are stronger, and are (more than they have ever been) professionals. just like scientists nowadays are infinitely more advanced than those of centuries past. as always, we stand on the shoulders of giants.
the last year that hank aaron hit 40 home runs was in 1973 (at the age of 39 and, remarkably, in 392 ABs). his last 3 years of home run totals? 20-12-10 (this amounts to 42 home runs...which placed him, for his career, at 713 after the 1973 season. what a coincidence that he would return, despite having passed his prime, to break the home run record. but then again, who wouldn't do that given the circumstances? please note, however, when barry was 39, he hit 45 in 373 ABs).
(http://www.baseball-reference.com/ provides amazing figures of the circumstances under which bonds and aaron hit each of their home runs. i'm sure there is some fascinating stuff in there).
barry bonds has hit 19 homes runs this year. he is 42 and the season is a little more than half over. one could argue (perhaps if hank aaron wasn't such a nice guy) that hammerin' hank was padding his statistics once he eclipsed the babe's record. what, exactly was he contributing to a 68 and 66-win team at this time? since he was padding his stats, can we conclude that during this time hank was being an egoist and an asshole?
(sergio just hit some bystander with a golf ball and went over to check on him during play. i was this close (___) to purchasing ps3 this morning. i live in fear.)
this piece isn't intended as an argument for the validity of bonds breaking the record (i haven't even brought up performance enhancing drugs. it is impossible to quanitfy just how many home runs he would have hit without taking them) and it is certainly not made in support of aaron. it may even be a little disjointed because i am currently drunk. all things are never equal. you can only measure an individual by the circumstances under which he (or she) succeeds or fails.
and that is the substance to which this situation boils down. statistics are an integral part in measuring a baseball players performance. however, without advanced mathematical equations, we cannot compare statistice between different periods of time (i.e. several years), let alone while considering other factors. and we can never get it exactly right. we will never be able to truly compare barry and hank.
(ty wiggninton has really let himself go. bj upton has a nasty gun.)
in gross home run numbers, barry bonds is about to pass hank aaron. he is the second player (in major league baseball) to eclipse 750 home runs. he has a beautiful baseball swing. it is for the ages. baseball players such as bonds are rare. he is one of the greatest hitters ever. this is a time to celebrate his greatness. i don't care if he is reviled as a person. he can play with anyone that has ever played. when he hits 756, i'll be watching and i'll never forget.
and for that, i will applaud.

Friday, July 20, 2007

The Vickback, Toilet Literature and Just Footy

For late July, there is a tremendous amount of sports related buzz being funneled through our collective consciousness: Mike Vick and his humanitarian work, Barry Bonds and his daily struggles to keep his monstrous noggin afloat above his broad, pimply shoulders and, of course, the Beckham's driving on the right side of the road and into our hearts. I'm going to touch on these subjects for a spell:

It seems like only yesterday my boy Benny and I were in college, watching Mike Vick torch outside linebackers to the corners while lofting rangy depth charges into the Blacksburg night. I respected the game but I hated the uniform, it was a painfully undeniable fact that this kid had something. Flash forward to our 4th year and he's been drafted first overall, made the cover of Madden, broken his leg and is now back and rallying the listless Falcons offense in a meaningless late season game on Sunday Night Football. Mike Patrick, Joe Theismann and Paul Maguire are so effusive with their praise that Ben and I joke (halfway seriously) that one of them will motion to rename the position of "quarterback" to "vickback". Now? His passing arm (while strong) is merely adequate controlwise which really makes him one-dimensional, he hasn't strung together back-to-back playoff wins and his legacy just may result in an endless string of impossibly lame jokes on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno anytime a news story pertaining to dogs hits the wire. Clinton Portis kinda sums up Vick's career nicely, "...a lot of back roads got dog fights if you want to go see it. If it's behind closed doors, it's okay." Wait...WHAT?!?!

I don't care about Barry Bonds anymore. I just read Game of Shadows. Great book. It sat by my pooper for two months and I'd read a couple of pages everytime I pooped. I read about Barry Bonds and the degree to which he was/is/always will be an asshole while I sat on the john for about sixty days. Could I have taken it and placed in on the bedside table? Sure, but really, it belonged by the shitbox. A few pages here, a few pages there, usually on glorious Saturday mornings I could get through a chapter or two. I'd highly recommend the book, by the way, a genuine page turner. Maybe I would grab a couple quick sentences while taking a drunken number one while standing up... but I would usually have to go back and reread those anyway... what with the wobbling and whatnot... what was I talking about? (The best part is, I passed the book onto my Dad when I was done. Wow. I hope he doesn't read this.)

I love the feature articles in most every sports publication here in "the States" that pose the question "Can David Beckham save soccer in America?". That question is faulty on so many levels that it astounds me. First off, David Beckham is an aging superstar who has more impact with the marketability of the Galaxy than skill to help propel them to a championship (They trail first place Houston by 20 points). Secondly, soccer doesn't need "saving" as far as any typical USA sports enthusiast can tell you. I think this idea arises from the flawed supposition that this country's teeming population of sports loving pseudo-sophisticates are secretly preparing for the day that they will flip their Footy Loving Switch to ON because of a comparable Magic Johnson/Larry Bird/Michael Jordan moment happening on the pitch of an MLS game. People will agree, they'll say, "Aye, and Pele almost worked! Remember that!" And in literal taking... Yes, that is technically true... but, once again literally speaking... Communism almost worked too. There are reasons we attach the word almost to phrases. And yes, I understand that I am being somewhat flippant, but there's a reason.

Soccer lives and breathes as this globe does. It pulses on every inhabitable surface of this planet and has endured for as long as any other organized sport in mankind. Truth be told, there is a pocket of the United States that celebrates this game and plays it and watches it and loves it. They are a minority, but they exist. What the U.S. misguidedly aims for are the "casual fans" to jump aboard and support a game that didn't formulate on American soil. To see the best, means you must cast your eyes across the Atlantic. To watch the World Cup, means you must root for an underdog. It's a little much to ask when we generally gravitate to sports we feel superior with, those which we dominate other countries at (as far as professional leagues go - NBA, MLB, PGA (sorta - Tiger), NASCAR, etc). We even took the name football, changed around the rules of rugby, practiced this new game, perfected it and now the NFL makes 4 billion annually and Friday Night Lights is the best show on TV that nobody is talking about. That's what we're all about... Beautifully... Fucking... Illustrated...

By the way, I happen to like soccer/football. FIFA on the PS2 was a revelation for me. Ditto the Premier League. But it's just not meant to be an American passion, it just doesn't mesh here. And that's OK.

I think, the game of soccer will not be relevant in the good ole U.S.A. until a scrappy kid from Winthrop, Massachusetts who doesn't know any better leads a untested but talented squad of equally scrappy 20-somethings past a heavily favored Brazil team in ominously colored uniforms during the 2022 World Cup in Los Angeles which can be later parlayed into a Disney movie and a scorching American love affair with the game known as "just footy".

Oh wait, that sounds a lot like Mike Eruzione. He still seems like a pretty cool guy.

But, the NHL still sucks.

...

Just forget I said anything.