The Best of Bowler & Benny: The 2008 Edition

It seems like every December we all subconsciously (or perhaps semiconsciously) slip into a deeper state of self-inquiry. We examine the changes we’ve undergone in the past twelve months, attempt to extract some significance from those observations and then hopefully act on these newly actualized precepts... but in the end, we're more likely to simply eat too much, drink the drinks of the season and wait for the standard “best of the year” lists to roll in.

This has been a solid sophomore campaign for the Bowler & Benny. We’ve added Kurt Dirty, the resident tea sipper extraordinaire. His insights on The Beautiful Game have added a certain sophistication to this space and his contributions are immeasurable. As far as sport, we have been afforded probably the most memorable year in recent memory. The Giants over the Patriots in an epic Superbowl. The Final Four populated by four #1 seeds. Manchester United and Chelsea in an All-EPL Champions League Final. The Lakers/Celtics rivalry renewed. Tiger Woods at his career defining best. The Tampa Bay Rays improbable run. And of course, the 2008 Detroit Lions in all their glory.

Now, I understand that we took a 4-month break between July and November so that takes the luster off the breadth of our 2008 coverage. But really, we got busy. Ben is double dipping with school and work, Dirty is engaged and I’m… well, I’m just lazy. The Cubs and Brewers broke our hearts and Brett Favre made Ben’s ability to do anything beyond chew food and swallow a difficult task (read: limited bathing). Despite this seeming let down, we managed to churn out 46 posts. We’ll take it.

To any new readers, please become a Bowler & Benny supporter by clicking on the link to the right. It would be greatly appreciated.

10.Sean Singletary's Legacy
Monday, March 10, 2008

It’s been a tough season for Mr. Singletary. He was drafted by the Sacramento Kings as the 42nd overall pick and played some impressive summer league minutes (an oxymoron to be sure). Just as he was getting settled, he was traded to Houston on the eve of the season only to be traded a day later to Phoenix. Due to some early injuries to Leandro Barbosa, Singletary got some playing time for about a week in November with a couple serviceable outings. In the past two weeks, he was again traded to Charlotte (on his fourth team before logging his 126th minute of NBA floor time). It’s too early to say anything, after all, there is a precedent of standout Virginia guards taking some time to blossom at the professional ranks. In the end, I know #44 has got the chops to make it if he lands in the right system with the right coach.

9.The Descent of Man
Thursday, January 17, 2008

I love January because even if your boyhood football team hasn’t played a meaningful game in weeks, as a fan you are provided 11 highly pressurized, astutely played, reputation defining playoff games. A token from the football gods for your dutiful commitment to America’s game. However, if you are fortunate enough to have your team still playing, nothing is more important. MLB playoff series are twisting sagas, the NBA playoffs are not exciting until deciding games, but each 60 minute parcel of NFL drama is unmatched. Although the Packers came up short in overtime and Ben’s world has been turned upside down (NFL-wise), his honest hope and raw anxiety still are representations of what January is all about.

8.Tiggy Woo: Movement 2: Adagio
Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Although written 4 ½ months before his historic U.S. Open run, Dirty nails all the reasons why Tiger Woods is entering a truly remarkable period of his career. Some have said that he did “irrevocable damage” to his knee with that gutsy performance at Torrey Pines, however that simply remains to be seen. Although the U.S. triumphed in the Ryder Cup this September without his services causing a slew of idiotic headlines, his legend continues to loom large. His absence from the spotlight is still front page news and our only recourse as golf fans starved for greatness is to crack a beer and let’er rip. In the end, another great post by Mr. Bauer.

7.Dissecting the Evil Empire
Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Due to the misadventures of Charlie Weis and Hank Steinbrenner the Evil Empire has temporarily relocated to Boston. Yep, I’m pretty sure on that one.

6.Every time I meet a new person, I figure out how I'm gonna fight 'em - you have a gimpy left knee, right?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
and
Retrospecticus
Monday, June 2, 2008

I haven't lived in Chicago or frequented the Ginger's Ale House with Kurt Dirty in almost a year. My knowledge and participation in the Reds have suffered drastically, but I still manage to watch every odd Saturday morning on FSC or midweek on ESPN for Champions League action. Here are two bookends, a midseason report and a post season summary of the Liverpool F.C. season by Dirty McLiverbird. I can garuntee that there are fewer knowledgable writers on the subject of their side than Mr. Bauer, a treat even for the non-footy fans.

5.Your 2008 Bracket and the 2007 NCAA Tournament
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
and
Not so Crazy (Elite) Eight
Monday, March 17, 2008

I love when Ben goes Moneyball on us. Enjoy these illuminating posts written on the eve and at the midpoint of March Madness. They will tickle your mind grapes.

4.Cubs v. Brewers - A Running Diary
Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Running Diary is probably my favorite Bill Simmons style of writing. The form is short, largely observational and stylistically open-ended. I find that exploring tangents are the most rewarding aspects of pieces like these. If the Bears somehow sneak by the Vikings and take the NFC North, you can bet that I will commandeer the bourbon and fire up the laptop for another edition. Like splitting aces.

3.A Ridiculous Assumption
Thursday, July 10, 2008

Is it REALLY that ridiculous?

2.The Equivalents
Saturday, February 23, 2008

This is probably my best idea all year, although that’s like picking my favorite Kyle Orton scramble this year. I believe this post will hold up, but my favorite remains the Ice Cube/George Forman comparison.

1.Everything I know about football is wrong
Sunday, February 3, 2008

When you don’t have a horse in the running, sometimes those are the most memorable races. Most recently, the 2004 Red Sox, the 2006 Cleveland Cavaliers over the Detroit Pistons and now, the 2008 New York Giants. I remember driving home the morning after, stunned. The hour-long trip from Richmond to Charlottesville after 3 hours of sleep on my buddy David’s couch, glued to Sportstalk radio, unable to process what it all meant. I got home, fired up the computer and read Ben’s post. An astonishing mile marker in the NFL landscape...
Beautifully.
Fucking.
Illustrated.

Summary and Preview: Sport for a teasipper

Tiger Woods played his second tournament in two weeks. Though the most recent tournament was half a world away from the site of his first PGA Tour victory of the season, the result was much the same. Tiger left with another trophy in tow. I’m as shocked as you are! Alright, laying this bit of sarcasm aside, Tiger’s latest triumph came as part of the European Tour’s Middle East swing, in the affluent country of UAE. He started well enough, shooting 65 on his first day and showing no signs of jetlag. The next two days were not as kind to Tiggy, shooting 71 and 73 in some slightly adverse conditions, his first rounds not in the sixties since he traded in his Huggies for big boy Pull-ups. I can’t seem to help myself with this sarcasm, must be the fact that I haven’t seen the sun since…..goddamnit, the fact that I can’t even remember should serve as evidence that my brain is now mush thanks to a lack of essential nutrients produced only after my cocoa brown skin soaks up sunlight like a loofah that absorbs water, yet is never saturated. Enough. Anyways, Tiger finished the tourney with a flourish, shooting a 65 and finishing his final round with a 25 ft. birdie putt. He posted the number and waited as Ernie Els, trailing by one shot after Tiger’s final hole heroics, proceeded to spray his drives all over the desert and, more crassly, crap down his pantleg like the Cubs’ pitching staff in last year’s playoffs. Woods gladly accepted this fat paycheck (along with the “undisclosed” appearance fee) and trophy and hopped his jet back stateside. My question for discussion is this: is Tiggy the best clutch performer in the history of sport? I know, MJ should be in the discussion and so too should Steven Gerrard (and maybe Josh Beckett?), but considering the way he consistently does what’s necessary to either snatch a victory or stave off a charging foe, does anyone really compare, especially when what he does is so difficult (chipping in, long birdie putts, sticking a 3 iron as if it was a pitching wedge)?

Speaking of clutch performers, J.B. Holmes birdied his final hole at the FBR Open in Scottsdale to force a playoff with former Sun Devil and local favorite, Phil Mickelson. On the first playoff hole, Holmes labeled a 359 yard drive over all of the hazards to set up a delicate 72 yard pitch and proceeded to birdie the 18^th again. It was his second birdie on that hole in 45 minutes, after not managing that score in the three previous rounds. What is most impressive, besides that drive, was that he did not play great golf throughout the round. Many players made the push to post a low number and wait for the leaders to falter. Briny Baird put together a hell of a round (and ditched the straw hat, I might add) posting the best round on a day where more than few players went pin-hunting and succeeded in getting some good Sunday rounds under their belts. But it was Holmes who was able to keep a bad round from spiraling out of control, maintaining his position in the hunt for the title right until his putt on the 72nd hole. It was a great showing and a tremendous victory for the basher from Kentucky.

On a whole new subject now, the Reds of Liverpool travel south to London to visit the fortress of the Chelsea F.C. Blues, Stamford Bridge (I know, I can’t help but boo when I hear their name either). The Bridge has proved to be an incredibly difficult ground for any opponents to snag points. As I mentioned in a previous post, Avram Grant has them playing disciplined football, with great defensive presence and awareness. Even without big names like John Terry, Frank Lampard, and Didier Drogba, the Blues are playing a very open and attacking style, while still maintaining said defensive strength. Also, the Blues have yet to lose on their home ground in 77 consecutive matches. These two teams have met on no less than 16 occasions in various competitions over the last 3 years, with the Reds getting the better of Chelsea in two very notable European Cup semi-finals. Earlier this season, Rob Styles was suspended by the governing body of the match officials, after a horrific penalty decision against Liverpool’s Steve Finnan allowed the Blues to sneak off with a grossly undeserved point. The Reds must have vengeance in their minds and fire in their belly if they expect to end the Blues’ home domination. It could only help the confidence of the Redmen if another tie goes to London in either the F.A. or European Cups further down the road (but that is getting a bit ahead). In a very big month which sees Champions League football return to the docket and more F.A. Cup and Premier League clashes to fight through, a big win Sunday would do wonders, pulling Liverpool F.C. out of the slump in form from which they have suffered since ringing in the new year. Unfortunately, the news is that Fernando Torres may not play in Sunday’s fixture after picking up a hamstring injury while on international duty. Hopefully it’s not serious. In their earlier clash, Torres shredded Tal Ben-Haim and placed a beautiful shot around Petr Cech at the Anfield Road end, marking his first goal of many during his first campaign in English football. I was hoping for an even more convincing display this go around. Please be fit for the game Fernando. PLEASE!

As for Portsmouth, a great showing against Chelsea last weekend saw them take their first points off the Londoners in the history of the club. It was a well deserved point, if not a couple points dropped, as new signing Jermain Defoe netted his first for Pompey and could nearly have had a second, but missed on all three of his late game chances. The south coasters have also benefited from the transfer signing of Lassana Diarra, who had a brilliant game against the Blues. His deft touches and powerful shot will certainly thrill the Pompey faithful. The former Chelsea and Arsenal man looks to be a tremendous signing by the men at the top and already has Droopy Dog (Harry Redknapp) glowing over the impact Diarra can make. Throw in the sensational form of Niko Kranjcar, and in spite of the absences of many members of the squad still on African Cup of Nations duty, Portsmouth look to take three points off Bolton Wanderers in their away clash at the weekend. Finally, some good news coming out of Fratton Park for Benny C. Play up Pompey, Pompey play up.

Tiggy Woo: Movement 2: Adagio

In golf, most players reach their “prime” in their thirties as patience, personal stability, and knowledge of the game and its intricacies are infinitely more familiarized to the seasoned veteran. No such wait was needed for Eldrick Woods. Instead, he has dominated the sport from the very beginning, reshaping the game itself and the courses on which he plays (well, he more destroyed the courses, with the architects choosing to revamp them accordingly, but I digress, stay with me here). As he enters what is considered to be the best years of a professional golfer’s existence, what is possible for a man breaking records at every turn?

Tiger began his PGA Tour season in style, winning the Buick Invitational at Torrey Pines for the the fourth time in a row, recording his sixth victory in the event overall. He is the only golf professional to have won at least three tournaments six times (the WGC American Express Championship (now known as the CA, because of sponsor changes) and WGC Bridgestone Inv. at Firestone as well as the Buick). With this victory, Mr. Woods tied the record for consecutive wins at a single tournament (4). But what is astounding is that he has accomplished this feat in TWO different tournaments now (the other being the Bay Hill Invitational). In recording these amazingly unique records, Tiger also drew level, in fourth place, with The King, Arnold Palmer, on the list of most career PGA Tour victories, with 62 total wins. He has obtained this status in five fewer years than any of the legends in whose great company he now resides. Along with Mr. Palmer, he now finds himself chasing the likes of Ben Hogan (64 wins), Jack Nicklaus (73 wins), and Sam Snead (82 wins). This is rarefied air to be sure, with many of these men being on their pedestal in the list for some 20+, or in Snead’s case 43+, years. But having watched him for some time now, it comes as no surprise.

There are innumerable statistics and records that allude to Tiger’s unsurpassed dominance in a sport of individual glory. I’ve merely discussed a few which relate to his most recent whomping of the field at the Buick. So, instead of using pure statistical analysis of his career to this point, I will use individual moments of brilliance from the weekend which are but snippets of what has to be regarded as the greatest all around golf game in history. To get to this position Tiger Woods has made himself the undisputed best at: reading greens/putting, shot-shaping/escape shots, and short AND long iron accuracy.

Having played the game a great deal (albeit, appallingly at times) I must admit that the most impressive facet of Tiggy’s game has got to be his putting. His speed and distance control is unparalleled and he almost never misses a putt inside of five feet. Add to this his uncanny knack of reading even the smallest breaks and undulations in the surface of the green, and Tiger’s deadly accurate touch is awe-inspiring to say the very least. Just reference the 60 ft. birdie putt he sank on Sunday, which required he play about 12-15 feet of break down a ridge, or the par save from 20 ft. he sank on Saturday to keep any challengers at bay. Even looking back, at the famous 17^th “Island Green” at the TPC Sawgrass, commentator Gary Koch had commented how no player had read the break from the back of the green, nor gotten a putt within 8 feet of cup from the position in which Tiger found himself. Koch’s now infamous “Better than most, BETTER THAN MOST” call during the putt just illustrates how someone in the know can be so astonished by the ability of this walking highlight reel.

To examine this idea further we need only look to Koch’s broadcast partner David Feherty, who is often so flabbergasted by the shots Tiger gets to come off as to remain nearly speechless (which is saying something, indeed). Over the weekend he hit a huge, sweeping draw that screamed around a tree and just short of the green, with some 40 feet of piercing curve. Most often when Tiger finds himself in the goop, he will use some sort of fiendishly difficult shot which will undoubtedly save him from having to “play it safe”. There are so many examples to draw from, my mind is too much of a flurry to actually distinguish between them; I remember a bunker shot, over water that ran just through the green, the “over-under” shot where he kept the ball under some branches immediately in front of him and then got the ball to rise over the next set of trees and landed the ball maybe 10-14 feet past the pin but still on the green, with his back against a tree, playing another sweeping draw just 8-10 feet off the ground to go under the trees and advance the ball into a solid playing position – there’s just too many to recall them all. However, this shot shaping is not just useful when stuck in the mess. He has an unbelievable ability to control trajectory, spin, and direction to play each shot as it is presented to him. Each time he approaches his ball, no matter where it is, he has the ability and the gall to get it where he can save par, or even make birdie.

This total control was never more apparent than at the Royal Liverpool Golf Club (Hoylake) in 2006. He only used his driver once during the tournament and hit all but four fairways on the week. While using a 3-wood or 2-iron off the tee left him with longer second shots, the deft trajectory control he exhibits with the long irons ensured he was always where he needed to be – on the green with shots at eagle and birdies. Some complained that this display was “boring”. Are you kidding me? You better be or I’m gonna give you a boot upside the head. I would call it clinical. The astonishing control of his game is unmatched by most, if not all, of his competitors.

Another blatantly idiotic comment is that Tiger really has no “rivals” or fellow competitors challenging him on a weekly basis. With displays such as Hoylake in ‘06 or the Buick Invitational at the weekend, this may be true. My question is this - who really cares? Though many of his victories are all but sealed by the time he tees up his first shot on Sunday, I would miss anything, I mean ANYTHING (ok, minus a gorgeous day where I can struggle and duff my way around a supposedly easy Forest Preserve layout, and even then its recorded) for the sake of witnessing Tiger’s other-worldly talent continue to pad his portfolio of brilliant shots and unique records. There is no one like Tiger Woods and there is no experience that can compare to watching him ply his diligently perfected game in person (for now anyways). Here’s to many more records being broken and more befuddled mirth from the broadcasters paid to watch the “best ever” play the most beautiful and challenging courses around.

By the way: Come on you Redmen, make yourselves proud today at Upton Park. I’m sure we both could use a nice victory against the Hammers. You’ll Never Walk Alone – not if I have anything to say about it.

The Bowler and Benny Greatest Hits: 2007 Edition

It's been six weeks since Ben or I have posted something. The two of us have been fairly busy over the past month, but to be strictly honest our (already woefully inaccurate) NBA preview took it out of us. We just needed a respite in the grand scheme of things. For some, the absence of a B&B original has lasted far too long. For others, this hiatus has served as a great opportunity to waste time on other websites such as cracked.com or this gameboy emulator site. However, for many, the fact that we haven't written anything in weeks has had completely no effect whatsoever. To be fair, we don't much mind that last demographic because we started this blog almost a year ago as a platform for two college buddies to entertain each other... and using that standard, I think it's been a resounding success. Before the advent of this site we'd toil away on our fantasy sports message board churning out the only impassioned and witty smacktalk in the league. On the phone, we'd do our best to fit all the current sports minutia into fifteen minute calls at (the proverbial) halftime during our weekend. While these tactics still exist in a largely reduced role, this blog has served as a wonderful outlet for our collective need to experience sports with equal parts humor and awe.

With that being said, I'd like to thank Ben for agreeing to indulge me in this venture. It's worthwhile because you're on board and I owe you for all the belly laughs you have provided with your roundly appealing and enigmatic banter. You truly are the Alan Arkin to my Peter Falk (I could have gone with Dennis Miller and Norm McDonald, but I thought that would piss you off).

I'd also like to thank TK (my brother) for being such a supportive reader and our most consistent and thoughtful "Comment Hawk". In accordance with that designation I just made up, Ben and I owe you a Andre Dawson-style Salami greeting next time we see you... and even if he's a Cubs fan - and TK is most certainly that. Quite possibly the biggest Cubs fan in all of San Francisco County, which would place him high in the runnin' for biggest Cub's fan worldwide. Sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man....


Speaking of which, Kosuke Fukudome is a Chicago Cub!!! He's basically all I've heard about for the last month and I'm so completely excited about this signing because of the unknown factor. He’s a cross between Ichiro and Hideki Matsui!!! Wait, he's a cross between Ichiro and Eric Brynes!!! Holy crap!!! I'm much too much of a pragmatist to fall for any of this, but he does stack up quite well to other Japanese exports who’ve come to the Majors. UmpBump did an excellent job breaking his game down, so I'll let them handle the details. However, I will say this. Some people are already questioning the amount spent (4 year, $48 million) on a corner outfielder who has never played in MLB, recently had elbow surgery and turns 31 next year. These points all presuppose that the Cubs scouting staff hasn't kicked his tires and done the appropriate leg work. I find that highly unlikely. Cubs fans know that they've been coveting Fukudome for a couple years now, all the while keeping close tabs on him until his contract with the Chunichi Dragons was up. Also, he fits PERFECTLY into this Cubs team. I'm not saying he's the final puzzle piece, but having a versatile left-handed bat with a gaudy OBP that can field AND throw is exactly what we missed. Our corner outfielders will be throwing frozen ropes all around Wrigley for the next handful of years and our centerfielder (Felix Pie) has tremendous speed and an affinity for making sensational catches appear routine. D Lee plays a gold glove caliber first base while Ramirez is much improved at the hot corner. Giovanni Soto showed some tremendous ability (both swinging from and catching behind the plate) towards the end of last year in big games. Theriot, DeRosa and (knock on wood) Brian Roberts would make this not only one of the best fielding teams in the National League, but also one of the premier hitting lineups top-to-bottom. I just reread that last paragraph and it becomes painfully obvious that the Bears are 5-8 and the Bulls are 7-13 right now.


Alright, with the year winding down to a close, I’m going to provide my Top Five favorite posts from Bowler and Benny over the past year:

Honorable Mention
Ben’s reaction to ESPN’s coverage of the Home Run Derby

I liked this piece because it reminded me of simpler times. I recall waking up every morning at 6:45am during grade school because Sportscenter started at 7am. What makes this all the more impressive is that classes didn't start until 8:55am and I lived a ten minute walk from school. People sometimes forget just how wonderfully addicting ESPN was during the "glory days". I'd attentively watch as Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick wove magic with those highlights while I ate my Life cereal. Now I'm forced to suffer through Trey Wingo and Linda Cohn (sometimes in hi-def *yikes*) attempting to work Hannah Montana jokes into WNBA clips. Kill yourself.

5) My farewell to Mr. Thomas Jones

If you're asking me if I ever get tired of being right, the answer is... Absolutely I do.

4) Ben’s trip to the Packers/Giants game this year

As bad as this sounds coming from a Bears fan, I'm a huge Brett Favre guy. I've been converted because whenever Ben speaks about him, I understand that it's bigger than team affiliations or rivalries. I can hear a little of myself extolling the virtues of Michael Jeffery Jordan in his wildly glowing soliloquies. I still remember that day in January 2002 when the Bears and Packers both fell in the conference semis. Favre threw six interceptions and they lost to the (then great) Rams. We watched our games separately and then reconvened at our apartment and traded solemn, yet knowing nods of mutual defeat. I'll never forget it because Ben wasn't mad, he was just disappointed because he knew the greatness was there. Everyone has that ONE GUY from their childhood that will always be the truest of sports heroes. My dad had Brooks Robinson, my brother has Ryne Sandberg and Benny... has Brett Favre.

3) My brush with Greatness (personified by Tiger Woods)

I'll always remember the '89 Cubs season. I'll always remember those Knicks vs. Bulls playoff series in the early 90's. I'll always remember the 2006 Bears and what they did for the city of Chicago. Congruently, I'll always remember seeing Tiger Woods in person, methodically calibrating his game and staring down a golf course that he would destroy over the next four days. These are things that never leave you.

2) A Cubbie afternoon in late June

I've done running diaries of both Bears and Bulls games, but never at a Cubbies game. This was my first run at it and I was extremely pleased with the way things turned out. I can still recall how ominous the sky was that day and how, now in the middle of winter, just how wonderful those long days felt. The sun is setting at 4:13pm today and Wrigley Field is just a big building that I have to walk around to get to Clark street. March can't come soon enough.

1) TIE

Athletes and Hip-Hop: Why Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should

and

When doing what I want goes wrong

Easily the funniest thing we've done all year. I understand that making fun of athletes "performing" hip-hop is like shooting fish in a barrel, but that doesn't make it any less amusing. If you have yet to peruse these "10 worst" videos, please do so right now and thank us later...

Tiggy Woo handles the competition like loose change

"I've been looking for an excuse to get down to Lemont, Illinois for a couple months now, so this worked out perfectly."


The BMW Championship (a.k.a. The Western Open) was this past weekend at Cog Hill, however it was two weeks ago that my buddy Kurt called me up with news of practice round passes for the Tuesday and Wednesday leading up to tournament play. We decided that the first day would have to be for scouting purposes almost exclusively since we couldn’t get there until noon, so we'd be getting the lay of the land for the Wednesday round. I was initially impressed with intricacies of the PGA Tour presence. It's a symphony of palm pressers and custodians sprawled out on a finely manicured and well respected golf course for a week with millions at stake. However, quite soon afterward, the main attraction becomes the primary interest. The enormity of the talent surrounding each entrant is acutely palpable. Astonishing shots in triplicate and a tap in for birdie on a 600 yard hole happen frequently. To be honest, it takes a while for that to sink in.

We arrived at 12:15pm and started roaming the course immediately since most of the players had already teed off, some off the course altogether. We planned our route for the following morning with a real tenacity. This was our gameplan for the Front 9: Follow Tiger from the 1st hole to his drive on the 3rd, then do a Pincer movement to the bridge in between 4 and 5, watch his drive bounce yards from our feet, then the approach, then cross the 5th fairway and walk to the single pine tree fifty yards in front of the green-side bunker, watch the entire 5th hole from this spot, watch most of the 6th from this same spot, then watch the entire 7th hole from the very same vantage as well, walk out 8 and 9 with the gallery following behind Tiger.


We ended up leaving our scouting round on Tuesday around 3pm, seeing some famous names but mostly getting familiar with the course. Truth be told, Kurt is a virtual PGA Rolodex, naming even the most obscure golfers from 60 yards without any problem. He knew histories, was familiar with individual skill sets and amassed a vast arsenal of anecdotes. He could usually identify a player further than 150 yards out by swing alone. So as you can probably tell, this was a pretty big deal for him. Once he got comfortable, I loved how he seamlessly began fraternizing with professional golfers,

"Good luck this week Charlie."

Charles Howell III looks up from signing his scorecard near the driving range, somewhat surprised to be recognized and acknowledged in such a fashion. He straightens up and with a genuine inflection replies, "Hey, thanks a lot."

Then Kurt gives him that "No worries" shoulder shrug and walks out the frame like he just solved a Rubik's Cube in 45 seconds and tossed it to him.

Cracked me up to no end for some reason.


WEDNESDAY

5:03AM - Kurt and myself park in a 7-11 parking lot across the street from Wrigley. Red Bulls and Big Gulps.

5:45AM- It is decided that although a bag of White Castle sliders my seem appealing at the moment, it would ultimately make us logy for the day ahead.

6:26AM - Arriving at Cog Hill public parking. Walking towards the course as the sun rises and the freshly-cut grass reaches upwards.

7:00AM - Watching the greatest golfer (most likely ever) hit a monster tee shot straight down the fairway into the pale murky ether with only 45 other souls in attendance.

7:01AM - Restating my assumptions.

Watching Tiger Woods play golf in person is an irreplaceable experience. I've played the video games, I've watched Masters on Sunday and I've seen the 60 Minutes special on him. Nothing truly prepares you for an up close examination of the most diligently calibrated golf game ever. I'm used to the intimate feel of a golf course, judging the angles and distances as they pertain to my ability. The lack of pressure whenever I draw the blade back is self apparent, because I can always take a mulligan and unbridled success is never an option. With Tiger, every movement is analyzed and every outcome is weighed. Kurt and I both agreed that PGA Tour golfers are playing a different game than us, but Tiger is on his own plane altogether. They all throw darts at the green, the difference is that Tiger has those titanium Sharper Image darts and all the other professionals have plastic darts jammed in a cork that can be attained by leaving your ID with the bartender.

Since this was a Pro-Am in support of the Evans Scholar program, three amateurs donated $7,500 each for the pleasure of playing a round with Tiger. We quickly decided to give these gentlemen names, personas and back stories:

Hustlin' Hank Kowalski: Orange hat, black shirt and a belly putter. He’s clearly the best amateur with a handicap that's probably in the single digits. Let's just say he owns a couple of lumberyards and leave it at that. He even hit a couple approach shots inside Tiger's ball, although he refrained from goading him on with taunts like, "Somebody’s Closer!". Probably a good move.

Howard Greenberg AKA The Wonder Jew with the One Iron AKA Ho-Jew: A dark blue shirt, a bit of a paunch and a surprisingly adept up-and-down save man. A crowd pleaser with his wily antics, continually attempting to interact with Tiger in varied nonchalant ways. Needless to say, Ho-Jew was easy to root for.

Mustache Steve AKA Momo: Mr. Yips settled down after the first couple of difficult holes to provide a very respectable back nine. We liked Momo because of his underdog status and his exquisitely coifed facial hair. He was undoubtedly the worst of the foursome, but we admired his moxie because we'd be a little thrown off to have Mr. Woods waiting on our shots too.


As the morning progressed, the gallery following Woods grew exponentially. The two dozen or so that walked that first fairway with Tiger grew to about 130 people by the 9th hole. I found the range of the group interesting: Chatty old men who are PGA regulars, 7 year old boys with their fathers, Waspy Waspertons, wise cracking black men, middle aged Asian women, etc, etc, etc... People sometimes slam global sports icons such as MJ and Tiger for being too bland and not using their elevated status to help influence positive social change. I think that's asking a bit much from these guys considering the fact that they chose to master the art of putting a ball in a hole instead of running for congress. What I do know is that these stratospheric superstars bring people from all backgrounds and creeds together. They provide us with stories for future generations. They remind us of the potential greatness we seek. Simply, they allow us to dream in a world sometimes clouded with nightmarish effects.

UPDATE: Tiger went 67, 67, 65 and a tournament low 63 in the final round to win by two strokes. He regained top pole position from an idle Phil Mickelson in the Fed Ex Cup standings with one event to go.

And now, your moment of Zen: