The case for the Brewers...

Brewers post-All Star break record: 1-0

Cubs post-All Star break record: 0-1

Convincing argument, right?

The Bowler and I can agree that we haven’t mutually anticipated the dog days this much since we’ve known each other. Though the 2007 campaign remained in doubt until the last series of the season, as early as Independence Day, it was all too apparent that we were supporting teams headed in opposite directions.

This year has far different feel to it. After an uncharacteristically slow start, the Crew are 12 games over .500 since losing 6 straight games to begin May. Over the same period of time, the Cubbies have played even better at 14 games over .500. With 76 games remaining, both teams have demonstrated consistency and begin the home stretch playing well enough to be considered pennant frontrunners in the National League. The recent trades for Sabathia and Harden only served to raise the intensity and drama of the chase. The watches and car keys are in the pot and both teams believe they possess the better hand.


Of course, the Cubs currently have the advantage, not only in their 4-game lead in the standings, but in the way that they have hit and pitched thus far. The Brewers’ sometimes baffling inability to get on base and their misadventures in the field and bullpen continue to try my patience and are a little too reminiscent of last year’s historical collapse. Given the present state of affairs, it is unlikely that the Brewers will be able to catch the Cubs before the end of the regular season.

As of today, playoff projections indicate that the probability is that the Cubs will win the NL Central outright and that the Brewers have the best likelihood of any team in the National League to secure the Wild Card. Much will be settled in the 10 remaining games that the Brewers and Cubs are scheduled to play, 7 of which will take place in Milwaukee (I will try to ignore the fact that traditionally Cubs fans have made Miller seem like Wrigley), where Milwaukee has the 2nd-best homefield advantage (behind the Cubs). The Brewers and the Cubs will also play in the last series of the regular season which, if the issue is fought out on this line all summer, will result in a release of the contents of my bladder whether or not the Brewers secure a playoff berth.

Presuming the numbers are correct (which presumption may turn out to be foolhardy given the snowballing avalanche that is the New York fucking Mets) and also the import of the remaining games between the two teams, the pennant will be decided on the field between the two teams in the NLCS. This offers some encouragement to the Brewers, who in 6 games at Wrigley Field this year (their only so far against the Cubs), have taken 4. However, those will be ancient history by the time October rolls around. These are the hosses and guns that will decide the fray:

Starting rotations:

Sheets/Sabathia/Parra/Suppan/McClung-Bush

Zambrano/Harden/Lilly/Dempster/Marquis


On the track:

Braun/Cameron/Hart

Soriano/Edmonds/Fukudome


Around the horn:

Hall-Branyan/Hardy/Weeks/Fielder/Kendall

Ramirez/Theriot/DeRosa/Lee/Soto


Out of the ‘pen:

Torres/Riske/Shouse

Wood/Marmol/Howry


On the pine:

Kapler/Counsell/Dillon

Cedeno/Fontenot/Johnson


Looking at that, we’re in for a potentially epic duel down the stretch.

The Brewers have the advantage because they are more of a known quantity and, in my view, will better sustain their performance.

For the Cubs, uncertainty abounds. Can Alfonso Soriano return from the DL at the end of July and resume playing at a high level? Can Ryan Dempster, Jim Edmonds, Ryan Theriot, and Mark DeRosa continue to outperform projections? Can Jim Edmonds and Rich Harden stay healthy? The second half for the Cubs points to at least a slight regression to the mean.

Ryan Dempster is 31 and has already pitched 30 innings more than he did in his best season in 2005. DeRosa, 33, is having his best season as a professional baseball player. Jim Edmonds has been steadily declining since the 2006 season and he hasn’t had more than 400 at-bats since 2005. In Ryan Theriot’s only full season, he struck out more than he walked and his numbers of .266/.326/.346 make my penis erect. Tony Womack is his most similar comparison by age. And everyone knows Rich Harden hasn’t pitched more than 100 innings since 2005. He’s at 82 innings right now.

For the Brewers, Prince Fielder, J.J. Hardy, Ryan Braun, Mike Cameron, Corey Hart, and Russell Branyan all OPS+ at 115 or higher. They are far younger than the Cubs, particularly at amongst the starters, and less likely to fade down the stretch. And, if they survive until mid-October, the Cubs would do well to remember that Yovani Gallardo will be ready to return. Sheets, Sabathia, Gallardo, and Parra would arguably be the scariest 4-man rotation in the Major Leagues.

The final nail in the Cubbies’ collective coffin: Come October, the Cubs will have gone 100 years without winning a World Series. If they win the pennant, that would potentially ruin a perfectly good cocaine party hosted by Gary Sinise and Journey. We’ll be at the Drake Hotel on East Walton Place. I’ll be the one wearing the urine-stained boxers and the Paul Molitor jersey.

Brewers as NL Champs? That's just like, your opinion, man.

The Cubs (not the Brewers) will represent the National League in the Fall Classic this year. Mark it, Dude.


People assume that Cubs fans are highly superstitious and thus highly guarded in their proclamations of superiority (albeit seasonal). Many of the Wrigley faithful groaned as Bernie Mac sung “root, root, root for the cha-amps” during the 7th inning stretch at Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS with the Cubs holding a 3-1 lead. Obviously that was a social gaffe because putting the cart in front of the horse, especially in such a highly charged situation lacks tact and understanding. However, had the whole Bartman/Prior/Gonzalez meltdown never occurred, no one would even remember that momentary slip of common sense. The way things actually happened, the exquisitely painful series of events that unfolded triggers many drunken blue-capped ladies and gentleman to work themselves into a foamy lather regarding one diabolical curse. The motives of the hands are unknown to us, but the devices He uses are iconic: a billy goat in ’45, a black cat in ’69, Leon Durham’s wickets in ’84, a grabby baseball nerd in ’03. Last month Dirty and I were sitting against the left field wall just a caps toss away from the Bartman seat (which has a sticker on it so people know which one to pose in for pregame pictures) and as the innings went on and the beers piled up, I had to consciously remind myself to dive out of the way if a pop fly was hit in my direction with the Cubs in the field. While I understand this isn’t an advanced concept, my head was a little fuzzy with Old Style and split second decisions in that state usually amount to some awkward lunge at the ball on my part. But now, I must be forever aware of Moises Alou patrolling the outfield lest I somehow in manage to interfere and end up on Sportscenter as “a typical idiot Cubs fan”. Those are the everyday realities of the Northsider and probably why most outsiders looking in share a mixture of sympathy and disgust. Sympathy at the perennial losing, disgust at how trivial this “badge of worry” attitude all seems. Well, for this post, I’m shelving all that cautious crap and making a brief argument for the leaders in the clubhouse at the turn, the 2008 Chicago Cubs for the NL pennant.



Possible rotation for an NLDS - Game 1: Zambrano, Game 2: Harden, Game 3: Dempster, Game 4: Zambrano, Game 5: Harden. Just a week ago I wrote how the C.C. Sabathia trade was an intimidating pick-up, luckily that feeling only lasted 24 hours. If we stay healthy at the top of our rotation, nobody can beat our starters – Not the Brewers. Not the Diamondbacks. Nobody.



Two ROY candidates and All-Stars starters in Kosuke Fukudome and Geovany Soto. Not since Jerome Walton and Dwight Smith going one-and-two in the Rookie of the Year balloting in 1989 has Chicago been more juiced up about a pair of newcomers.

The Cubs have a MLB leading run differential of +108 while the Cardinals (+18) and Brewers (+12) are distant also-rans in the category. Since the Cubs are only 5.5 and 6 games up respectively, one could intuit that multiple blowouts and difficulty with one run games are the cause. However, the Cubs are a touch above .500 (15-14) in one run contests. The Cardinals (19-16) and Brewers (19-10) have faired a little better, but I feel that these statistics rest in favor of the Cubbies. Whenever you are x10 better than other teams at something as elemental to the outcome of games as runs scored/runs conceded then the dam will eventually break.

Reason #341 why the Brewers won’t win the NL pennant in 2008: Eric “The 10 million dollar man” Gagne in his fourth appearance since coming off the DL on July 12th:

1.0 IP, 27 pitches, 4 hits, 4 runs, 4 ER, 2 HR, 1 K



Not since Rick Mirer has there been the potential for such a handsomely paid benchwarmer.

The Brewers have crumbled before and they have lasted thus far grit, moxie, homeruns and Ben Sheets. I know, I know, Manny Parra is a nice little story. Ditto Corey Hart in all his beer soaked glory. But in the end, it’s Fielder and Braun and little else. Wrigley Field boasts six batters with over 300 ABs and at least .370 OBP (Theriot .396, Ramirez .387, Fukudome .384, DeRosa .378, Lee .371, Soto .370). The Brewers? Zero. The closest is J.J. Hardy with 303 ABs and a .356 OBP.

The Brewers are a nice story, but the team to beat is that way for a reason. And this year, in light of this new shit, well, I rest my case.

"Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?"

A Ridiculous Assumption

An Essay on why I truly believe Lou Piniella is being darted with sedatives by the Cubbie Brass

The Bowler and I have had innumerable discussions regarding sporting topics ranging from hilarious names (see God Shammgod, Siphiwe Tshabalala, et al.) to song parodies, and even as far as actual nitty-gritty statistical analyses (the most absurd topic of the three mentioned, I know). However, the one discussion that remains a running joke, whilst also maintaining a certain credibility, is how we both believe the Cubs' front office utilizes blow guns to sedate the often feisty manager of our beloved Cubs.

While Sweet Lou ages, as with most people, he appears to mellow significantly. But, during his previous stint as Tampa's coach, the difference between his temperament in the same role at the other ballclubs was negligible at best. After his hiatus from the bench, Piniella came to the North Side in a flurry of press and excitement. Already he showed a calm outward demeanor, only rarely trumped by his famous temper during his first season in charge of the Cub. Is the time and place in which this phase of his life finds him responsible for this diametric shift in personality/temperament?

While this could certainly play a part, I believe studying the physical, emotional, and perceptual faculties of the man might lead to a more surprising conclusion: Lou Piniella is being darted with a fairly significant sedative by the Cubbie Brass. It seems to be a systemic push, with no single member of the front office responsible for tranq-ing the man on a regular basis. It's more of a, "Lou's looking a little wired" (Phoot, goes the blow gun, delivering a hefty dose of animal tranquilizer through an almost imperceivable missile), "That should keep him on an even keel."

The effects are obvious, and those of us who have listened to the full gamut of pre, post, and in-game conversations with Sweet Lou can notice when and in what quantity the old dawg receives a dose of pacification juice. Of course the glassy eyes and stammering speech in pregame press meetings allude to some level of sedation. However, there are other indicators. Occasionally he can be found sating his sweet tooth with some candies (licorice, tootsie rolls, etc) during these interviews. Its not just the craving itself, but the almost childish glee apparent on his mug whilst masticating the processed sugar treats. This fact, when coupled with the very elongated "um's" and "uh's" that he peppers throughout his speeches, begin to elucidate the origins of this essay and our reason for believing such actions are in fact taking place.

Of course, the manner of speech and heightened sweet tooth could also be related to Sweet Lou's getting on in age (and may allude to any number of factors from the good ol' days of baseball when everyone was doping in one way or another, be it by amphetamines, cocaine, or various other devious means). However, the lethargic movements of both mind and body in pregame press conferences make little sense. He couldn't be tired already, he just got there. So why, then, are his reflex actions (like blinking, swallowing) affected? His blinking slows to a point of almost pausing, his mouth sometimes works more like an old school nutcracker (as if controlled by a primitive lever system), he sways quite noticeably, and will occasionally zone out, mid sentence. All of these factors more than account for my belief in an external agent pacifying Lou Piniella.

The kicker is that on more than one occasion, while the Bowler and I sat watching a game, a very fiery manager in the beginning of the contest would give way to a very relaxed and ponderous coach as the game wore on, regardless of circumstances (be it in a close game, a blow-out, being blown out). Could they possibly be darting him in the midst of a game? Absolutely yes, especially as the big wigs of the Cubs organization would have multiple angles and vistas from which they could unleash a barrage of dipped darts. The true indicator would be if they over-medicated him, causing a sheer collapse in consciousness. My hope is that there is enough communication at the top to realize the dire consequences of overestimating the rate at which Lou's older body metabolizes the sedatives. We all appreciate what he's done in last season and a half, and would hate to lose him for any period of time for health reasons, especially in relation to being controlled like a semi-trained grizzly.

I can't be assured of anything, but what I do know is that we as Cubs fans have been treated to a couple of very amusing blow-ups, but nothing approaching the kind of demeanor that landed Lou Piniella the facetious nickname "Sweet Lou". My hope is that the Cubbie brass will not over-control the man, but rather continue with their campaign of passive aid. If it ain't broke.


NOTE: This article is in no way a serious examination of the practices mentioned. While we all acknowledge that a regimen of sedatives delivered via blow darts is highly improbable, it remains possible.

Mr. Sabathia pitches for Brats and Beer

It’s been six weeks leading up to this column. It’s been quite a nice respite, because the kid has been working hard and enjoying the summer. I flew back for the Cubs sweep over the White Sox at Wrigley. Dirty and I witnessed a nine-run inning almost exactly a year to the day after we witnessed “The Aramis Game” so that's some good mojo there. I moved into my new place and got a new set of golf clubs. I’m going to be a groomsman in my boy Kanedawg’s wedding next month. The Bulls picked Derrick Rose and I couldn’t be happier about that fact. I’ve been gone from these pages for a while because my life has been a good, healthy, honest busy. But tonight, I really felt compelled to write about something... so now, I fear the worst…

It’s basically official that C.C. Sabathia will be a Brewer for the rest of the season. The Brewers, in the past 6 weeks have gone from 4 games under .500 (and 6 games back) to 10 games over .500 (and 3.5 games back). Over that same span, the Cubs have gone 24-15 and LOST 2.5 GAMES in the NL Central.

Alright, I know the Cardinals are still in the mix, but excuse me for not taking them seriously. The odds of Kyle Lohse, Braden Looper, Todd Wellemeyer, Adam Wainwright and Joel Pineiro keeping this type of production going during a stressful September is remarkably low. Here are their K/9 rates so far and tell me I’m wrong: 4.49, 4.15, 6.68, 6.09, 4.76. Those numbers are telling me that a ton of things are going right for them in the field. We’ll see though.

The Brewers, however, terrify me. They have basically exclaimed that they are making a charge for this year. Matt LaPorta was their right fielder for the future and they shipped him off for 12 weeks from the 2007 AL Cy Young winner. The Sheets/Sabathia combination is frightening down the stretch, but even more frightening for Benny should be the prospect of both of them being free agents at the end of the year. Outside of the Rays, nobody has a deeper farm system and I could see them going for broke and picking up another solid middle reliever before the deadline. Basically, with this move, they are telling the rest of the NL Central, "It's on. Act accordingly."

The Cubbies have gone 6-8 in Big Z’s absence but now he’s back and winning baseball games. Soriano should be getting back shortly after the All-Star break and the wheels continue to turn. I’m anticipating another furious finish similar to last year where the victor won’t be decided until the final weekend of the season. However, unlike last year, I feel like second place in the NL Central will be good enough to play into October. I'm trying to wrap my head around this pennant chase during the Olympics and NFL tune-ups and quite honestly, I'm already losing sleep.

Mahalo. It's good to be back.

Cubs v. Brewers - A Running Diary

The Cubs and the Brewers are quickly ascending the ranks of my favorite rivalries with regard to my rooting interests. Last year was a tremendous two-team pennant race (I never really considered the Cardinals a threat) that really made me appreciate our neighbors to the north. Here’s how the rivalries stacks up if the criteria is pure enjoyment:

1st Bears/Packers (The gold standard)
2nd Cubs/Cardinals (Great history, great fans)
3rd Liverpool/Everton (The more I learn, the more I respect it)
4th Cubs/Brewers (Scrappy underdogs make good)
5th Cubs/White Sox (A civic obligation)
6th Bulls/Pistons (Lost its luster, but can be rekindled at any moment)

So without further ado, my running diary:

7:59pm There are few things better than Web Gems set to upbeat music with breathless announcers loosing their shit. Baseball Tonight just closed their show with the best leather flashes for the month of April, well done fellas. I love it.

8:00pm Dave O’Brian is doing the play-by-play. Steve Phillips is doing color for the broadcast. I like Phillips because he always brings up his service as the GM of the Mets. He regularly cites the Mo Vaughn signing as a self-deprecating reminder that everything he says should be taken with a grain of salt. I can appreciate that.

8:02pm Erin Andrews is smoking hot. I’m usually intimidated around smart, attractive women as is, but one that can talk baseball is beyond my comprehension.

8:08pm Dempster is pitching. The wind is blowing in. Johnson, Pie, Fukudome in the outfield. Ramirez, Theriot, DeRosa and Lee around the horn. Soto behind the dish. I have a weird feeling like Soto or Pie in the 7 and 8 spots are going to have a big game. {I promise that I actually made this prediction. No fake.}

8:12pm Weeks grounds out weakly to the pitcher after drawing a 2-2 count. He’s batting .190 on the season. What happened to this guy? I know he’s got some pop, but as time passes he appears to be more and more like Milwaukee’s Corey Patterson.

8:14pm Three up. Three down. Bring on Suppan.

8:18pm Reed Johnson has 90 plate appearances and has now taken 88 first pitches. The culture of patience is astounding considering the historical hackers we’ve had in our lineup over recent years. The Cubs are 13-5 when Johnson hits leadoff. I just picked him up on my fantasy team. He had a BONKERS catch that is an early candidate for play of the year. As I type this, he stings a single into left field. Now all he has to do is shave that Spiezioesque soul patch and I have a new man crush.

8:22pm Weeks misjudges a Theriot 3-2 hit-and-run slap up the middle. The ball squirts into right. Runners at the corners.

8:23pm Riot steals second on a no-throw by noodle-armed Jason Kendall.

8:25pm D. Lee doubles off the left field wall. Johnson scores. Cubs 1, Brewers 0.

8:26pm A. Ram doubles off the left field wall. Riot and Lee score. Cubs 3, Brewers 0.

8:32pm Fukudome lines out, DeRosa walks. Runners on first and second. Soto’s up. Phillips mentions that Suppan is at the 30-pitch mark already.

8:33pm Soto jerks a hanging curveball into the leftfield bleachers. It seems as though I’m juggling man crushes at the moment. Cubs 6, Brewers 0.



8:36pm Dempster slices a single to the opposite field. The wheels have come off, rolled into a nearby ditch and inexplicably burst into flame.

8:37pm 39 pitches and 19 minutes later. The first inning ends. Mercifully.

8:43pm Prince Fielder loops a single into center which caps 3 minutes of “Prince Fielder is not only a vegetarian but also encourages the clubhouse to be Eco-friendly” talk. I remember an era when our portly clean-up hitters boozed and womanized, but now they are socially conscious. What’s next? Will our hard-hitting strong safeties start writing children’s books?

8:46pm Hart pops out to second followed by Bill Hall grounding out to Ramirez. Rammy skips the ball into first and D. Lee nonchalantly picks the ball out of the dirt. I’m convinced that Derrick Lee for Hee Seop Choi is the biggest steal of the past ten years that nobody talks about.

8:54pm Suppan bounces back. Three up, three down.

8:59pm I REALLY like the way Dempster is mixing up, locating and executing his pitches. He’s been doing it all year. I know he was a 15 game winner with Cincy in 2001 before his Tommy John surgery so I shouldn’t be that surprised, but I think his closer stint as “The Dumpster” really clouds my ability to look objectively at him. That brutal 2006 season (75 IP, 77 H, 36 BB, 24 saves, 9 blown saves, 4.80 ERA) was difficult from a P.R. standpoint especially when the Cubs were the worst team in the National League. I think I’m still going to refer to him as “Dump-a-Lump” but only as a term of endearment.



9:06pm The Brewers patch together a two-out single and walk before Braun smokes a single to left. Cameron goes first to third. Runners at the corners. Prince is coming up. Time to settle down. Cubs 6, Brewers 1

9:09pm After a tough duel at the plate, Fielder floats out to left. Inning over. Three innings in the books.

9:12pm Fukudome hits a comebacker off Suppan, which kicks to first base with amazing english on it. It leaps away from Fielder who just narrowly misses the barehand adjustment and the ball shoots toward the Milwaukee bullpen. Your typical double.

9:15pm DeRo thumps a single to right field. Fukudome scores. Cubs 7, Brewers 1.

9:21pm Mark Cuban interview after the break!!! I wonder what they’ll talk about!?!?!

9:23pm Erin Andrews cozies up with Cubes sitting right in front of the Chicago on-deck circle for a little Q&A. She leads off with “Where did it go wrong with Avery (Johnson)?” You got some stones on ya, don’t cha … um, I mean, good question Erin. Interesting phrasing for sure though. After some softballs, she asks what the differences would be between Stern and Selig… Cuban, who CLEARLY wants to own the Cubs, remarks that “Bud Selig has been phenomenal for baseball.” I was half expecting him to add, “If no one else want him, I’ll take Judge Smails.”

BROWWNNN NOOSSSSEEE!!!

9:33pm Theriot ropes a single to left with one out. D. Lee looms large at the plate.

9:34pm D. Lee smacks a single into the gap. Runners at the corners. Suppan’s pitch count is at 74 through 4.1 innings. If I’m him, I’m breaking into the mini-bar hardcore tonight.

9:37pm Bill Hall boots a sharply hit ground ball. Riot scores, Lee and Ramirez safe. Cubs 8, Brewers 1.

9:43pm DeRo smacks an RBI single. Suppan leaves to mock applause. Cubs 9, Brewers 1.

9:47pm Soto jacks his second three run homer into the left field bleachers!!! You can close the book on Suppan (thank god). I hate being right all the time. Cubs 12, Brewers 1.

9:48pm Fukudome almost named his son Chicago last year. For some reason, this makes me immensely happy.

9:45pm It has just occurred to me this is my sixth running diary (Bulls/Wizards, Bulls/Warriors, Bears/Vikings, Virginia/Texas Tech, Cubs/Rockies) and my record is looking like it’s going to be 5-1. From now on, I’m doing running diaries of every Chicago playoff game going forward. Seems reasonable.

9:59pm Dempster scatters two walks before giving up a two-out double to Ryan Braun. Cubs 12, Brewers 3.

10:06pm Five innings complete. Time for another beer.

10:10pm ESPN does a montage with maudlin music about 1908: Taft was the 27th president, the first Model T first produced, the 4th modern Olympics happened in London… this doesn’t even bother me. It’s absurd that this is a requirement for national consumption of my favorite baseball team.

10:13pm Dave O’Brian refers to the episode last season when Zambrano criticized the fans after a rocky stretch in the late months of the season. To be honest, I completely forgot about that. I forgave him immediately after he apologized. He’s like my drunk best friend who gets in fights with bouncers every weekend. He’s a solid guy, but occasionally he gets bent out of shape and you just have to nod and pretend like you know what he’s talking about.

10:18pm Erin Andrews gives us a report about how Lou Piniella feels about the topic of the 100 year “curse”. Thank God, it had been almost ten minutes. I almost forgot about that.

10:24pm Fukudome takes a seven pitch at-bat and finally bloops an RBI single into right. Cedeno scores from second. Cubs 13, Brewers 3.

10:34pm Six innings in the books.

10:54pm I took the 7th inning off to watch this based on Ben’s recommendation. I’m glad I did. It’s the segment from “Costas Now” that has been causing much fervor throughout the blogosphere over the past 24 hours. The panelists are Buzz Bissinger (author, Friday Night Lights), Will Leitch (of Deadspin.com) and Braylon Edwards (wideout, Cleveland Browns). If you are interest in sports and how it is covered, I recommend that you watch this piece (it’s about 15 minutes long). Then I would suggest that you read the response from FJM which does very competent work and is a favorite of B&B. They crush the idiocy of Bissinger better than I could and in a way they stick up for the fabric of the sports blogging populace. I enjoy blogging because it’s a form of self-expression that is easy to explore and truly fun. Sports and writing are both passions of mine. I know that nobody reads this, but that's not even the point. It's out there and really that's all I care about. I derive enjoyment by browsing sports blogs to get a different take from knowledgeable people who aren’t bound to teams or news agencies. When it’s something worthwhile, I become a repeat reader and I feel like the process has moved along to the benefit of us all. Mr. Bissinger incorrectly asserts that only morons frequent blogs and we should all be wringing our hands with worry at the direction things are headed. Now, I’m far from being considered a literary snob, but I appreciate traditional sportswriting as well. I love The Last Amateurs, The Breaks of the Game and (of course) Moneyball. It’s all a wonderfully rich tapestry and the traditions these writers uphold are complimented (not diminished) by solid sports blogs. I’ve even read Three Nights in August by Mr. Bissinger and really liked it. However, I found his ambush (which is what it was) to be extremely surface based and reactionary. He speaks about spending years upon years honing his craft just as his contemporaries have done, those who sit perched in press boxes collecting and relaying facts. He fails to recognize that every corner of writing has hacks. For every Hunter S. Thompson there is a Jay Mariotti. For every 60 Minutes there is a TMZ. Blogs aren’t the problem. Crusty old men who are hateful because their mediums are slowly being put out to pasture are the problem. OK, that’s all I got for right now. By the way, Cubs 13, Brewers 5.

11:04pm Marmol is in. He is by far the livest arm in the NL Central. I think he has the potential to be the next “elite closer in a league of his own” for years to come. I’m telling you, Mariano Rivera good. I say this with no reservations. He strikes out Gabe Kapler looking with gas on the outside corner. He strikes out Bill Hall swinging on a two-seam fastball on the inside corner. J.J. Hardy pops up to Soto.

11:22pm Derrick Turnbow has given up a run and now is in a two-out, bases loaded jam. Theriot up next. Cubs 14, Brewers 5.



11:26pm Turnbow walks in his second run of the inning. Cubs 15, Brewers 5.

11:27pm Cedeno hits a bases clearing double. Nobody is warming up in the bullpen. At this point, I just feel bad for the kid. He’s twisting in the wind. He has no command or velocity at this point. I understand that you want to save arms in a blowout, but this has got to CRUSH his confidence. Cubs 18, Brewers 5.

11:28pm Ward demolishes a double into the gap in right-center. Cedeno trots home. Ned Yoast FINALLY gets some action going in the bullpen. This is painful to watch even as a Cubs fan. Steve Phillips muses that he absolutely has to be playing injured and I’m inclined to agree. Cubs 19, Brewers 5.

11:32pm Hank White walks. Runners on first and second. Yoast taps his left arm. It’s about fucking time.

11:36pm Stetter relieves Turnbow and promptly strikes out DeRosa.

11:43pm Wuertz retires the side in the top of the 9th. Ballgame.

Fukudome Fever

Every year someone roars out of the MLB gates and threatens to break every record in the books. In 2006, a little known first baseman for the Tigers named Chris Shelton hit 9 homers in his first 13 games. The fantasy waiver wires were torrid with "adds" and Tim Kirkjian was asked numerous times, “Can he keep this up?” and “Is Shelton on the doorstep of the most unlikely MVP season ever?” As it turned out, he ended the season with 16 homers in 373 at bats and everyone felt a little sheepish about getting all worked up over such a small sample size. So I want to qualify my complete adoration of Kosuke Fukudome by saying: While I understand that he’s only had 24 plate appearances, his .542 OBP and stellar arm in right field make me truly optimistic that we have the NL ROY on our hands.


Wrigley is abuzz over Fukudome after his dramatic Opening Day three-run homer off Eric Gagne to square the score in the bottom of the ninth. He’s only added to his status as an overnight legend in the coming days with timely hits, go-ahead RBI’s and frozen ropes to the plate. He’s received standing ovations, “we’re not worthy” salamis usually reserved Cubbie royalty and chants galore from the faithful. While it’s fairly typical for newly acquired players with hot starts to be embraced with open arms, this whole situation feels different. The intriguing cultural differences, the measured responses with interpreters and the uncertainty about how he’d fare against Major League pitching all hung precariously above our heads since his much ballyhooed signing. After only a handful of games and mere drop in the statistical bucket, we’ve got a pretty good idea at what all the fuss is about. Kosuke Fukudome is a ball player. His swing is as sweet as Sandburg, his command of the strikezone is Grace-like and the cannon affixed to his right arm rivals Dawson. His approach at the plate is incredible. I’ve seen him swing at ONE bad pitch so far this season and that was because the ump was calling strikes very liberally low and inside and he had to protect the plate with a two-strike count.

If you think I’m blowing his hot start out of proportion, you may be right. After all, there will be slumps and regression and bad breaks. However, I love the way this guy plays the game. I’ve always admired Ichiro and his abilities but I’ve never had the luxury of watching him over the course of many games. The small things that Japanese players do are interesting. In one game against the Brewers last week, Fukudome was on second and DeRosa was on first with one out. The pitch was low, in the dirt and squirted away from Kendall but only momentarily. DeRosa sold out and broke for second immediately while Fukudome shrewdly drifted off second only about 25 feet to gauge whether or not advancing was an option. DeRosa painted him into a corner by streaking to second after a nice block at the plate my Kendall. Upon a split second appraisal of the situation, Fukudome moved equidistant to second and third and froze while Kendall charged across the infield giving DeRosa time to make it safely to second and preserve the runner in scoring position. While not an extraordinary play, it was punctuated by a calmness of character that kept his team threatening. He bailed out a teammate who screwed him over. To me, that train of thought is everything. Filling the spot where Sammy once stood, he’s already proven that he understands more about winning baseball than our once Dominican slugger ever did. Sosa would swing for the fences late in a game when a single would do, frantically chopping away at the ball for his own glory. Many would argue that this approach was how he found his way into The Show in the first place, so why would he change his stripes now? It’s a good point, but one I would now ask about Kosuke. Despite the language barrier, what does he have in common with the once celebrated, now reviled Sosa. The answer: very little. Fukudome is a Cub today because of his ability to get on base, which is the trademark of the ultimate teammate. Ask any true baseball fan, there is absolutely nothing flash-in-the-pan about that.

Growing Another Year Older in the Kerry Wood Era

Kerry Wood managed to sit down 20 Houston Astros on May 6th, 1998 by means of the strikeout in only his fifth major league start. It was a one-hit, no walk piece of pitching mastery. He joined Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens (who did it twice) as the only other pitchers to ever attain that tremendous distinction (The Big Unit’s game went 11 innings but he recorded all 20 strikeouts in the first nine innings of work. MLB has recently recognized this as having tied the record). According to statistician Bill James’s Game Score system, which attempts to assign a numerical value to a start, Wood’s performance scored a 105, the highest baseball history.

Today, we’re only seven weeks out from the 10th anniversary of The Kerry Wood Game. When this young Texas fireballer hit the scene the Cubs were merely the Sammy Sosa show with manager Jim Riggleman serving as the maestro of mediocrity. Things seemed to change that May afternoon because we had something to believe in, an anchor for the future. Wood won the ROY in 1998 with the following line: 13-6, 166 IP, 3.40 ERA, 233 K’s, 85 BB’s. The Cubbies made the playoffs as a wildcard and were promptly swept out of the postseason by the loaded Braves. Everyone always remembers that season as the Sosa-McGuire summer, but I’ll always remember it as something more. It was the year we got our first glimpse of Kerry Wood.

Cubs Haters and Masters of the Obvious love to point out that he’s only been an All-Star once, never won 15 games and only pitched over 200 innings twice. He’s considered a bust by all reasonable definitions of that word. Well, that’s only part of the story. For every Cubs fan, Kerry Wood represents something bigger than just his numbers. He’s pitched for the Cubs in three separate postseason appearances, something not many players can claim. He stroked one of the most memorable homeruns of my life (Game 7 of the 2003 NLCS). He took the hometown discount and assumed a new role for the good of the team. While I understand that he's only pitched 44 innings in the past two years (by far the least productive period of his career), I've got this feeling like he's finally healthy for once. This is the first time he's started the season off the DL and in the bullpen. I’m not exactly sure what to expect, but I wouldn't be shocked if he regained some of that magic we all know is there. I'm an optimist by necessity which is why I believe March is the greatest baseball month of the year. I also believe that Marmol, Howry and Wood in the 7th, 8th and 9th is a pretty damn ferocious trio. Opening Day can't come soon enough...

And without further ado, I give you the man I consider the second Mr. Cub of the modern era (after Ryno)...

Prior to this, I was a nasty pitcher

Featured Comment on ESPN.com at 10:50 EST on December 26th:

"Steal of the modern era… Prior will bounce back this season"
~Rhymeister

Let’s settle down a little, sound like a plan? When "the next Tom Seaver" signs a one year deal at the age of 27 with his hometown team for a base salary of one million dollars, it’s time to reevaluate just how great this individual is. Trust me, I understand how all the elements of this equation seem to add up for optimistic Padres fans. Pitchers park, native son, redemption possibilities, bad Cubbies karma, etc, etc, etc… I also understand how breathtakingly amazing his 2003 campaign was for all the right reasons. He could locate pitches inside and out while changing speeds with ease. He had good velocity as well as tremendous late action on his breaking balls. He could throw basically any pitch in any count for a strike. These are all prime reasons why we (as Cubs fans) held onto this Mark Prior ideal, we felt like the injuries were merely a stop-over before monumental greatness. However (the freak broken arm from a comebacker to the mound notwithstanding) the injuries are a part the Prior package. He’s had the exploratory surgeries with no bonafide results, which raises suspicions that his physical troubles reside more between his ears than anything else. The phrase “genetic looseness” has been used to describe his elbow, which is either insane or idiotic as a wide-ranging cause for his reoccurring IR stints. He missed all of last season rehabbing from shoulder surgery which is historically the most damning affliction possible for starting pitchers. Am I saying that Mark Prior is soft? Not really. I do, however, think he’s not only injury prone, but prone to mental self-sabotage. I think his desire to overcome and understand his physical roadblocks don’t keep him up at night. I think he lacks the fortitude to be a consistent All-Star on a competitive team. I swear I’m not just being bitter here, I honestly believe this.

So why does Kerry Wood get a pass? Well, he’s expressed his frustrations with his injury history through the media and in his actions. He renegotiated his existing contract to take a hometown discount which he was under no obligation to do. He accepted his role as a set-up man with an eager willingness to rejoin the Cubs and help them win. Prior has been on the shelf for the majority of the last two years with a puss on, collecting fat checks and moaning about the training staff. Perhaps there is some validity to those claims, or perhaps the redonkulous strain placed on him in 2003 by Dusty Baker (Go Reds!) really did majorly effect his health. That’s neither here nor there. I’ve followed him with rapt attention since his breakout year and he’s nothing but an excuse machine with a looming upside that never materializes. Plugging the name Mark Prior into your 2004 fantasy baseball roster before the season started probably gave you a big rubbery one (Benny can attest to that), but holding on to that one season is a futile affair.

Will he have a decent year with San Diego? It’s entirely possible. I could see him pitching somewhere in the range of 120 innings with a 4+ ERA and a whiff of 10 wins. But unless Rhymeister has fashioned some sort of portal back to an era when Hey Ya! and The O.C. were at the height of their popularity, the steal of the modern era will continue to remain Big Papi.

I’m just sayin…

The Bowler and Benny Greatest Hits: 2007 Edition

It's been six weeks since Ben or I have posted something. The two of us have been fairly busy over the past month, but to be strictly honest our (already woefully inaccurate) NBA preview took it out of us. We just needed a respite in the grand scheme of things. For some, the absence of a B&B original has lasted far too long. For others, this hiatus has served as a great opportunity to waste time on other websites such as cracked.com or this gameboy emulator site. However, for many, the fact that we haven't written anything in weeks has had completely no effect whatsoever. To be fair, we don't much mind that last demographic because we started this blog almost a year ago as a platform for two college buddies to entertain each other... and using that standard, I think it's been a resounding success. Before the advent of this site we'd toil away on our fantasy sports message board churning out the only impassioned and witty smacktalk in the league. On the phone, we'd do our best to fit all the current sports minutia into fifteen minute calls at (the proverbial) halftime during our weekend. While these tactics still exist in a largely reduced role, this blog has served as a wonderful outlet for our collective need to experience sports with equal parts humor and awe.

With that being said, I'd like to thank Ben for agreeing to indulge me in this venture. It's worthwhile because you're on board and I owe you for all the belly laughs you have provided with your roundly appealing and enigmatic banter. You truly are the Alan Arkin to my Peter Falk (I could have gone with Dennis Miller and Norm McDonald, but I thought that would piss you off).

I'd also like to thank TK (my brother) for being such a supportive reader and our most consistent and thoughtful "Comment Hawk". In accordance with that designation I just made up, Ben and I owe you a Andre Dawson-style Salami greeting next time we see you... and even if he's a Cubs fan - and TK is most certainly that. Quite possibly the biggest Cubs fan in all of San Francisco County, which would place him high in the runnin' for biggest Cub's fan worldwide. Sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man....


Speaking of which, Kosuke Fukudome is a Chicago Cub!!! He's basically all I've heard about for the last month and I'm so completely excited about this signing because of the unknown factor. He’s a cross between Ichiro and Hideki Matsui!!! Wait, he's a cross between Ichiro and Eric Brynes!!! Holy crap!!! I'm much too much of a pragmatist to fall for any of this, but he does stack up quite well to other Japanese exports who’ve come to the Majors. UmpBump did an excellent job breaking his game down, so I'll let them handle the details. However, I will say this. Some people are already questioning the amount spent (4 year, $48 million) on a corner outfielder who has never played in MLB, recently had elbow surgery and turns 31 next year. These points all presuppose that the Cubs scouting staff hasn't kicked his tires and done the appropriate leg work. I find that highly unlikely. Cubs fans know that they've been coveting Fukudome for a couple years now, all the while keeping close tabs on him until his contract with the Chunichi Dragons was up. Also, he fits PERFECTLY into this Cubs team. I'm not saying he's the final puzzle piece, but having a versatile left-handed bat with a gaudy OBP that can field AND throw is exactly what we missed. Our corner outfielders will be throwing frozen ropes all around Wrigley for the next handful of years and our centerfielder (Felix Pie) has tremendous speed and an affinity for making sensational catches appear routine. D Lee plays a gold glove caliber first base while Ramirez is much improved at the hot corner. Giovanni Soto showed some tremendous ability (both swinging from and catching behind the plate) towards the end of last year in big games. Theriot, DeRosa and (knock on wood) Brian Roberts would make this not only one of the best fielding teams in the National League, but also one of the premier hitting lineups top-to-bottom. I just reread that last paragraph and it becomes painfully obvious that the Bears are 5-8 and the Bulls are 7-13 right now.


Alright, with the year winding down to a close, I’m going to provide my Top Five favorite posts from Bowler and Benny over the past year:

Honorable Mention
Ben’s reaction to ESPN’s coverage of the Home Run Derby

I liked this piece because it reminded me of simpler times. I recall waking up every morning at 6:45am during grade school because Sportscenter started at 7am. What makes this all the more impressive is that classes didn't start until 8:55am and I lived a ten minute walk from school. People sometimes forget just how wonderfully addicting ESPN was during the "glory days". I'd attentively watch as Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick wove magic with those highlights while I ate my Life cereal. Now I'm forced to suffer through Trey Wingo and Linda Cohn (sometimes in hi-def *yikes*) attempting to work Hannah Montana jokes into WNBA clips. Kill yourself.

5) My farewell to Mr. Thomas Jones

If you're asking me if I ever get tired of being right, the answer is... Absolutely I do.

4) Ben’s trip to the Packers/Giants game this year

As bad as this sounds coming from a Bears fan, I'm a huge Brett Favre guy. I've been converted because whenever Ben speaks about him, I understand that it's bigger than team affiliations or rivalries. I can hear a little of myself extolling the virtues of Michael Jeffery Jordan in his wildly glowing soliloquies. I still remember that day in January 2002 when the Bears and Packers both fell in the conference semis. Favre threw six interceptions and they lost to the (then great) Rams. We watched our games separately and then reconvened at our apartment and traded solemn, yet knowing nods of mutual defeat. I'll never forget it because Ben wasn't mad, he was just disappointed because he knew the greatness was there. Everyone has that ONE GUY from their childhood that will always be the truest of sports heroes. My dad had Brooks Robinson, my brother has Ryne Sandberg and Benny... has Brett Favre.

3) My brush with Greatness (personified by Tiger Woods)

I'll always remember the '89 Cubs season. I'll always remember those Knicks vs. Bulls playoff series in the early 90's. I'll always remember the 2006 Bears and what they did for the city of Chicago. Congruently, I'll always remember seeing Tiger Woods in person, methodically calibrating his game and staring down a golf course that he would destroy over the next four days. These are things that never leave you.

2) A Cubbie afternoon in late June

I've done running diaries of both Bears and Bulls games, but never at a Cubbies game. This was my first run at it and I was extremely pleased with the way things turned out. I can still recall how ominous the sky was that day and how, now in the middle of winter, just how wonderful those long days felt. The sun is setting at 4:13pm today and Wrigley Field is just a big building that I have to walk around to get to Clark street. March can't come soon enough.

1) TIE

Athletes and Hip-Hop: Why Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should

and

When doing what I want goes wrong

Easily the funniest thing we've done all year. I understand that making fun of athletes "performing" hip-hop is like shooting fish in a barrel, but that doesn't make it any less amusing. If you have yet to peruse these "10 worst" videos, please do so right now and thank us later...

The Boo Bird Sniper

True devotion to a baseball team lies in the subtle tally of hundreds of smaller questions one must face on a daily basis.

Is the biggest fan necessarily the best fan? Does the ability to stay until the very last out while simultaneously chiding fellow patrons who are somberly filing out make you a more noble supporter? Is the suffering which accompanies heartbreaking loss a social mechanism which contributes to the experience, the bonding, the ritual of supporting a team...or are the depths of private disappointment and harrowing defeat what draws you closer to the game? And speaking of the game - what do you love more about the game itself? Gifted writers like George Will and Studs Turkel waxing poetic about the symmetry of the playing field and the contrasting complexities of the events taking place between those lines? Or is it the crack of the bat and the thrill of the crowd? Perhaps it's the beer cups collecting at your feet while arms hook over shoulders after a satisfying win?

While the endless questions mount, one type of "fan" has most recently caught my attention. They are the people who buy a ticket, get to the park, spend money on concessions... and then boo the players. They boo their guy, an All-Star, in the postseason. These are probably the same people who call AM Sports Talk radio shows and exclaim, "I was there!". They write off these players on the grand stage of baseball in the United States in twelve “life altering” at-bats. These are the fans that come to represent a fanbase. They feel a duty to vigilantly dole out vociferous disparages towards players who have, by not reaching base, explicitly wronged them. So, they boo. They boo people who are overpaid and over appreciated. They boo them because these athletes can handle it. After all, they make millions of dollars and still they can't lay off high heat. What else are we to do? They whiff and cost us glory. They are separate from us fans in the stands, therefore they must not understand the stakes of this game like we do.

England and the USA tend to differ in everyday diction and vocabulary. Sometimes the change is amusing, while other times it's confusing. Occasionally, it's actually quite telling...


Fan (short for fanatic) n. (US)- A person marked or motivated by an extreme, unreasoning enthusiasm, as for a cause (or team in this case).

Supporter n. (England)- An adherent, follower, backer, or advocate.

Those don’t seem that different, do they? After all, we use the word "fan" casually. It's not like we are fundamentalists who seem to derive power based on some disjointed baseball neurosis. I understand that this point I'm trying to make is a minor one, I do. But just look at those two words for a second - wouldn't you say one of those seems more unconditional than the other? I'm of the thought that the words we choose as a society to represent aspects of our lives are not unimportant. Here's another one:

Team n. (US)- A number of persons forming one of the sides in a game or contest.

Club n. (England)- A group of persons organized for an athletic purpose.

I always like the dichotomy of this one. The idea of a team seems to denote an "otherness" about the proceedings whereas the word club invites the supporters to feel joined with the men on the pitch. In a completely word-based reality, the Team/Fanatic relationship would appear far more contentious than the Club/Supporter dynamic, what with them swapping secret handshakes and chanting ancient songs.

Some of you may be shaking your heads right now and thinking to yourself... Is AK trying to argue that they don't boo at soccer matches in England? The fact is, I don't really know the degree to which they boo or don't boo. I haven't witnessed it, but I know they do some outlandish shit when faced with the combination of alcohol and losing. I'm only trying to muse on where exactly booing lands on the spectrum of being "in support" of a team. For myself, I really wish we didn't have the booing of a home team during postseason games (i.e. fans booing the Cubs towards the end of Saturday night's Game 3). It seems needless and shortsighted. I understand the frustration, but you can't hide behind the "I paid money for my ticket, and if I don't get exactly what I want, I'm going to piss and moan like a petulant child when they don't hoist the championship trophy this year" rap. Get over yourself. You cheer when good things happen and boo when bad things happen, you’re a forgone conclusion and you lack the ability to see the forest through the trees.

Sorry folks, I just had to get that out of my system.


So the Cubs got swept out of the NLDS after a thrilling, cardiac season where they overcame in-fighting and handled wild expectations. I enjoyed the season immensely because, for one, we snatched back the title of "Best Baseball Team in Chicago" from the White Sox. Always a good thing. Which is why I can't accept the assertion that simply because this six month rollercoaster season ended in early October instead of early November, it became a zero sum event. I'm not onboard with that. I had a great time and I can't wait for the Hot Stove trade talks in December.

Moving ahead, that leaves us with Colorado and Arizona. An NL West showdown spanning deserts and lofty mountain ranges. Don't get me wrong, they are both great stories in the sense that both teams were largely marginalized at the All-Star break and are now on the doorstep of greatness. They define a spectacular year, something separate and unique. But do people look back with an awed hush at the 2002 Angels or the 2003 Marlins? No, they were nice teams with lax fans who heated up at the right time. Where are the epic storylines that span generations? The Yankees and Red Sox are mildly annoying when they pair up in the regular season, but when it happens in the playoffs it becomes required viewing. I think any NLCS combination of the Cubs, Mets, Phillies, Dodgers or Brewers could had some substantial appeal to the greater baseball world because of the solid fans, cities and (quite frankly) teams. I recognize that this might make me an obnoxious Cubs fan who only likes historically significant teams in the World Series, but I'm comfortable with that. As of right now, I'm rooting for the Indians because they are an immensely likable team. Also, Major League quotes come pouring out of my mouth uncontrolably.

As far as discussing Game 3, I have no desire to do so. TK came into town and we had a good weekend. Our Sunday plans fizzled in a haze of double plays and runners left onbase, so we spent the day with our heads on a swivel at Hi Tops watching NFL games and drinking light beer from pitchers. We swapped oddball movie lines and ate nachos to sustain life. Once in a while, we'd clink glasses together and cheers with mock glee, "It's Gunna Happen!" and "Next Year, Bro!" just to crack ourselves up. And so it went, from the beginning to end, another year in the books.

(photos courtesy of TK)

Baseball Hats Everywhere

Before I write anything, I want to convey my most sincere and heartfelt condolences towards Ben and his 2007 Milwaukee Brewers. I remember a distinct moment this past April that made me wary of this team and justifiably so. I was listening to backloaded ESPN baseball podcasts on my I-Pod enroute to Spring Training in Mesa. It was early morning on the Blue Line heading up to O'Hare for a 7am flight and (the usually prophetic) Peter Gammon’s was running down his MLB standings predictions. The sun was just rising over the lake and I had made up my mind that if the Cubs were going to win, it would have to be this year. Gammons reached the NL Central and without any question or doubt, he fingered the Brewers to finish the year in first. He was met with incredulity and cynicism by the rest of the panel, but he categorically rebuffed them and restated his original assertion adding, "It's all there to make a run. Pitching, young power hitting, speed..."

Ever since that moment, I've been worried about them although I would never actually admit that to Ben (and for the record, this doesn't qualify as an omission of said worry for any organization named the Brewers, seeing as minor aspects of these posts are fictionalized to add density and richness to the characters being portrayed, thank you very much). There is no reason why a team should spend over 3/4 of the season in first place only to lose it in the last month, on the last weekend. It's unfair to the fans and their psyches. I've been around Brewers fans for years and the only thing that tied them together (besides hating the Cubs and Robin Yount jerseys) was that they weren't overly optimistic. Brewers fans were always pragmatists while the Cubs fans tended to be more fatalistic.

This year though? The Brewers fans kicked down the door in the first two months of the season. They provided a loud (rowdy even) presence at Wrigley and left early with wins (an inordinate amount of wins even). The growing feeling was that of all the Milwaukee surges of recent years, this looked the least flukey. To make a long story short, I feel for the kid. You have to. Such good fans don't deserve to witness something that excruciating over a 4 month span. It's bad ju-ju no matter how you cut it. Go Packers.

Ok, now I'm gunna zig back this-ah way...


September 28, 2003 - The Chicago Cubs clinch the NL Central. It happens during the second quarter of a Virginia football game during my 4th year. My Dad and I meet at halftime and do that awkward, giddy embrace reserved for the genuinely ecstatic or mental deranged. I leave the game in the third quarter to read internet reactions and muse over potential foes. For the next three weeks, my Cubs hat only leaves my head for showers and sleep. Mark Prior is arguably the best pitcher still playing. I'm running on pure emotion, malt liquor and the intoxication that is October baseball. Classes are an interesting diversion from my true purpose... hanging on every pitch.

:::In between, some stuff happens:::

September 28, 2007- The Chicago Cubs clinch the NL Central a little after 10PM CST. Here's how I remember it...

There were three fanbases at Cincy's Great American Ballpark: Cubs, Reds and Brewers fans.... I'm switching between Cubs/Reds and Brewers/Padres.... Bronson Arroyo's leg kick is why I can't take him seriously as a solid #2 starting pitcher.... This time of year really lets you appreciate how delicate the dance is between the "standings flags" above the Wrigley scoreboard....


I love the old school uni's that the Brewers dusted off for this "Throwback Night" in Milwaukee. A very solid move in my opinion. However, I wasn't too sure what to make of the towel waving in the stands (this goes for you too Philly). I'm down with towel waving at NBA playoff games and college football games for some reason, but not at MLB pennant implicating regular season games. I can't explain it really. I think the Homer Hankies for the Minnesota Twins playoff run in 1991 were fine because they "looked cool". Because they were hankies being waved, it was more like pulsing cloth rather than 40,000 people mindlessly twirling bar rags. But really, I was just a ten year old boy then, so what do I know. Moving on.

This is a time of year when strange things happen. I love it because scoreboard watching is immensely enjoyable, magic numbers are constantly in your mind and things can swing wildly in a matter of days (see The Mets).... Why are people still running on Alfonso Soriano's arm? He just notched his 20th outfield assist with ease and I can't remember where I put my beer. I love baseball.... The concept of A-Rod on the Northside next year is distracting. I don't want to be thinking about such things right now. It's like the 20 minutes that Kobe was talking about coming to Chicago this summer. I'm going to go blind thinking about stuff like that.... The Cubbies are up 4-0 during the 7th inning stretch. It looks to be 50/50 Cubs/Reds fans. "Root, root-root for the CUBBIES," is plainly heard and you feel good as a fan, like maybe some of this worry and joy and fanaticism in some way contributes to your team's success. Meanwhile, Milwaukee is tied with San Diego in the 5th inning. It's white knuckle time.

Jacomo Jones doubled to deep left, plating Ramirez and DeRosa in the 8th. The Cubs now lead by six runs in the 9th and the Padres just took the lead 4-3 in the 6th inning. At this point, I walked outside in the humid Friday night air and headed to the store for a sixpack of Old Style. I took it to my roof with my radio and listened to the rest of it under the pale of night and the dim flickering of television screens across the neighborhood. Immediately after Trevor Hoffman's three strikeout 9th inning save, hollers erupted throughout Wrigleyville. Cubs hats hovered on distant balconies smoking cigarettes and toasting beers, cars honked and people swayed. A bottle rocket flared out somewhere near Southport. It was only 10pm on a Friday night in Wrigleyville. The earth was moving and things were happening. The people were out and the Cubs were going to represent the NL Central in October.

I unpluged my radio, collected my empties and sauntered down the stairs in complete gratification. I turned off my phone, cranked the A/C, curled myself into bed and slept like a baby for the first time in weeks. I'm home.

Quick Hits

- I attended the Cubs/Brewers game last night much thanks to Brandon and his blue wristband baller tickets that he got in the drawing in March. We sat in the Upper Deck directly to the left of the Press Box which was a new perspective for me. I've probably watched 15 games from the Wrigley 500 Level in my life, but always flared out along the sidelines toward the foul poles. I enjoyed this new vantage, mainly because no seat at the Friendly Confines provides the same experience as another. Every chair in that building has it's own tread in your mind, every section has it's own personality. That being said, the surroundings of "Section 517, Row 7, Seat 4" were...... rowdy.

- This statistic is courtesy of Bleed Cubbie Blue: "Over at Baseball Prospectus on Monday evening, Nate Silver, perhaps presciently, noted that Milwaukee had, through Sunday, blown 13 leads of three runs or more (and nine of those from July 28 through August 26)."

- My favorite thing about keeping score during a game is what you ultimately do with the scorecard. I've only kept 2 scorecards in my life: The first Interleague game played at Wrigley against the Brewers and Carlos Zambrano's complete game, five hit, ten strikeout effort against the Astros on 8/17/03. The rest of them I usually just leave it there, finished or otherwise. I sometimes stop after the 7th or 8th inning and redirect my attention towards cheering, usually by then we're into the bullpen and you run out of space after four pitchers. Though sometimes, after a deluge of runs by the other team in the 5th or 6th inning causing us to fall woefully behind, I'll dramatically tear up my scorecard and throw up my hands in utter futility. You never know.

-USA Basketball is extremely entertaining right now. I highly recommend it.

- I've heard Yi Jianlian's name mangled numerous times by three different Chicago sportstalk radio personalities this morning after news of him signing with the Bucks hit the wire. This was usually followed by laughter and a snarky "whatever". Seriously, it takes 30 seconds to look up the pronunciation on this guy (EE jee-AHN-lee-AHN). If you're not going to do that, don't basically mock him for having a name that is difficult for you to verbalize. And for the record, it's pronounced Don-ah-FEE you lace-curtained half-an-Englishman.

- Lance Briggs, don’t sweat it. I careen my $350,000 cars off the side of the Edens at 3:15am and leave the scene of the crash all the time. The good news is, we can rebuild KITT. The bad news is, you are not Pauly Shore and this isn’t a Ja Rule video. You cannot do “whatever you want”.

MLB and NFL collide

My favorite part about mid-August is the striking dissemblance between pennant race baseball and preseason football. I've spent the last 4 ½ months completely absorbed in the MLB landscape (with minor hiccups being the Bulls playoff run, Shark Week and the twelve hours I boycotted the Cubs after they fell to 22-31 on June 2nd) to the point where I'm lost without at least 10 minutes of boxscore perusal a day. My brain is all queued up with baseball knowledge just waiting for the appropriate conversation "in" so I can release my thoughts on topics such as why Sweet Lou left Clifford Floyd in to bat with RISP during the late innings of a recent game against a lefty pitcher with nobody warming up in the pen, then subbed Matt Murton in defensively for Floyd the very next inning anyway. Cliff has an .285 OBP against lefties over the last 3 years compared to Matty’s robust .404 OBP (not to mention a .916 OPS) against southpaws. I usually bring these thoughts up in front of attractive women who I've just met, so as to remove even the infinitesimal chance of me seeing them naked.

At this point, the crack of the bat is therapeutic with every shot in the gap representing a step closer (possibly) to playoff greatness. The psychology of an early advantage is now recognized and acknowledged with the proper perspective, aided by a vast catalogue of data on how each team augments, keeps or (in the Brewers case) painfully forfeits a lead. For every fan who still has a team in the ring with a punchers chance, September baseball looms large...

...But wait. Madden 08 is hitting stores tomorrow... and... brace yourself... they've tweaked it slightly and made some minor changes... which appear to... IMPROVE ON LAST YEAR'S VERSION!?!?! Wait a second, is that... is that John Facenda I hear in the distance? Holy crap, the NFL preseason is here! Please excuse my sloppy laughter, I'm eternally giddy right now at the possibilities. This is all too much for me right now... Is it O.K. if I break down in tears when those NFC Champion Bears take the field? Now you're telling me there's more? Fantasy football drafts for the next three weekends? Fine, I'm doing a manual shutdown of my brain. I can't juggle my love for NL Central drama with the NFC Norris reset to all square. It's like simultaneously starting your favorite book while watching the final thirty minutes of your favorite movie (only for some reason you have selective amnesia and you aren’t aware of the greatness of either yet).

On second thought, what the hell:

The Cubbies bats have recently become ice cold (with the exceptions of Jacque Jones, Jason Kendall, Matt Murton and Mark DeRosa) and key injuries (Soriano and Ramirez) are slowing the offensive surge that was the cornerstone of the successful two previous months. Our starters have a combined 5.86 ERA for the month of August and our "closer" has given up 5 ER in his last 6 IP. All this being said, I'm not worried. We're only a 1 ½ behind the first place Brewers despite playing hapless baseball the last 10 days. Baseball is cyclical, after all, and for that reason I see both teams (the Brewers and Cubs) priming themselves for a furious finish. Shitty baseball happens. The character of a strong team endures.

The Bears look (on paper) like a much improved offensive team. Greg Olson will be a top flight tight end for the next ten years. Benson is a strong, tough-nosed runner with depth behind him (Adrian Peterson and Garrett Wolfe, trust me on this one) and a chip on his shoulder. Muhsin Mohammed, Bernard Berrian, Mark Bradley and Rasheed Davis make up a receiving crops that had the lowest percentage of dropped passes in the entire NFL last year. An experienced O-line that has played together for a few seasons, anchored by 5-time Pro Bowl Center Olin Kreutz. For good measure, we'll have Devin Hester running around causing havoc... and we have a quarterback as well... a couple of them, I think. Mix that in with another stingy defense and even with a tough schedule I could see another January game in Soldier Field this year.

At this point, I’m exceedingly optimistic. I'm just waiting for Ben to rain on my parade with his "Prince Fielder/Brett Favre underdogs of greatness" rant in which he bashes Chicago sports fans for being self-important on a level that rivals Bostonians in their obnoxiousness. But because I shudder at the thought of Chris Farley being compared to Jimmy Fallon on any level, I'm going to move on. It only seems logical that with the sports world at the apex of events right now that I'm venturing east this Friday for a long weekend in Hoboken with my esteemed colleague, Benny C. The roughly 57 hours I'll be there will be spent having multiple sessions of Madden 2008, EPL games with Irish breakfasts, Father/Son-like Folgers moments "having a catch", a fantasy football draft and, of course, NHL 94 on Genesis. If Ben still has a girlfriend after she witnesses this condensed version of "UVA Ben and AK" replete with malt liquor and bum wine, then she gets my complete and encompassing respect and blessing.

92 hours and counting...