Cubs v. Brewers - A Running Diary

The Cubs and the Brewers are quickly ascending the ranks of my favorite rivalries with regard to my rooting interests. Last year was a tremendous two-team pennant race (I never really considered the Cardinals a threat) that really made me appreciate our neighbors to the north. Here’s how the rivalries stacks up if the criteria is pure enjoyment:

1st Bears/Packers (The gold standard)
2nd Cubs/Cardinals (Great history, great fans)
3rd Liverpool/Everton (The more I learn, the more I respect it)
4th Cubs/Brewers (Scrappy underdogs make good)
5th Cubs/White Sox (A civic obligation)
6th Bulls/Pistons (Lost its luster, but can be rekindled at any moment)

So without further ado, my running diary:

7:59pm There are few things better than Web Gems set to upbeat music with breathless announcers loosing their shit. Baseball Tonight just closed their show with the best leather flashes for the month of April, well done fellas. I love it.

8:00pm Dave O’Brian is doing the play-by-play. Steve Phillips is doing color for the broadcast. I like Phillips because he always brings up his service as the GM of the Mets. He regularly cites the Mo Vaughn signing as a self-deprecating reminder that everything he says should be taken with a grain of salt. I can appreciate that.

8:02pm Erin Andrews is smoking hot. I’m usually intimidated around smart, attractive women as is, but one that can talk baseball is beyond my comprehension.

8:08pm Dempster is pitching. The wind is blowing in. Johnson, Pie, Fukudome in the outfield. Ramirez, Theriot, DeRosa and Lee around the horn. Soto behind the dish. I have a weird feeling like Soto or Pie in the 7 and 8 spots are going to have a big game. {I promise that I actually made this prediction. No fake.}

8:12pm Weeks grounds out weakly to the pitcher after drawing a 2-2 count. He’s batting .190 on the season. What happened to this guy? I know he’s got some pop, but as time passes he appears to be more and more like Milwaukee’s Corey Patterson.

8:14pm Three up. Three down. Bring on Suppan.

8:18pm Reed Johnson has 90 plate appearances and has now taken 88 first pitches. The culture of patience is astounding considering the historical hackers we’ve had in our lineup over recent years. The Cubs are 13-5 when Johnson hits leadoff. I just picked him up on my fantasy team. He had a BONKERS catch that is an early candidate for play of the year. As I type this, he stings a single into left field. Now all he has to do is shave that Spiezioesque soul patch and I have a new man crush.

8:22pm Weeks misjudges a Theriot 3-2 hit-and-run slap up the middle. The ball squirts into right. Runners at the corners.

8:23pm Riot steals second on a no-throw by noodle-armed Jason Kendall.

8:25pm D. Lee doubles off the left field wall. Johnson scores. Cubs 1, Brewers 0.

8:26pm A. Ram doubles off the left field wall. Riot and Lee score. Cubs 3, Brewers 0.

8:32pm Fukudome lines out, DeRosa walks. Runners on first and second. Soto’s up. Phillips mentions that Suppan is at the 30-pitch mark already.

8:33pm Soto jerks a hanging curveball into the leftfield bleachers. It seems as though I’m juggling man crushes at the moment. Cubs 6, Brewers 0.



8:36pm Dempster slices a single to the opposite field. The wheels have come off, rolled into a nearby ditch and inexplicably burst into flame.

8:37pm 39 pitches and 19 minutes later. The first inning ends. Mercifully.

8:43pm Prince Fielder loops a single into center which caps 3 minutes of “Prince Fielder is not only a vegetarian but also encourages the clubhouse to be Eco-friendly” talk. I remember an era when our portly clean-up hitters boozed and womanized, but now they are socially conscious. What’s next? Will our hard-hitting strong safeties start writing children’s books?

8:46pm Hart pops out to second followed by Bill Hall grounding out to Ramirez. Rammy skips the ball into first and D. Lee nonchalantly picks the ball out of the dirt. I’m convinced that Derrick Lee for Hee Seop Choi is the biggest steal of the past ten years that nobody talks about.

8:54pm Suppan bounces back. Three up, three down.

8:59pm I REALLY like the way Dempster is mixing up, locating and executing his pitches. He’s been doing it all year. I know he was a 15 game winner with Cincy in 2001 before his Tommy John surgery so I shouldn’t be that surprised, but I think his closer stint as “The Dumpster” really clouds my ability to look objectively at him. That brutal 2006 season (75 IP, 77 H, 36 BB, 24 saves, 9 blown saves, 4.80 ERA) was difficult from a P.R. standpoint especially when the Cubs were the worst team in the National League. I think I’m still going to refer to him as “Dump-a-Lump” but only as a term of endearment.



9:06pm The Brewers patch together a two-out single and walk before Braun smokes a single to left. Cameron goes first to third. Runners at the corners. Prince is coming up. Time to settle down. Cubs 6, Brewers 1

9:09pm After a tough duel at the plate, Fielder floats out to left. Inning over. Three innings in the books.

9:12pm Fukudome hits a comebacker off Suppan, which kicks to first base with amazing english on it. It leaps away from Fielder who just narrowly misses the barehand adjustment and the ball shoots toward the Milwaukee bullpen. Your typical double.

9:15pm DeRo thumps a single to right field. Fukudome scores. Cubs 7, Brewers 1.

9:21pm Mark Cuban interview after the break!!! I wonder what they’ll talk about!?!?!

9:23pm Erin Andrews cozies up with Cubes sitting right in front of the Chicago on-deck circle for a little Q&A. She leads off with “Where did it go wrong with Avery (Johnson)?” You got some stones on ya, don’t cha … um, I mean, good question Erin. Interesting phrasing for sure though. After some softballs, she asks what the differences would be between Stern and Selig… Cuban, who CLEARLY wants to own the Cubs, remarks that “Bud Selig has been phenomenal for baseball.” I was half expecting him to add, “If no one else want him, I’ll take Judge Smails.”

BROWWNNN NOOSSSSEEE!!!

9:33pm Theriot ropes a single to left with one out. D. Lee looms large at the plate.

9:34pm D. Lee smacks a single into the gap. Runners at the corners. Suppan’s pitch count is at 74 through 4.1 innings. If I’m him, I’m breaking into the mini-bar hardcore tonight.

9:37pm Bill Hall boots a sharply hit ground ball. Riot scores, Lee and Ramirez safe. Cubs 8, Brewers 1.

9:43pm DeRo smacks an RBI single. Suppan leaves to mock applause. Cubs 9, Brewers 1.

9:47pm Soto jacks his second three run homer into the left field bleachers!!! You can close the book on Suppan (thank god). I hate being right all the time. Cubs 12, Brewers 1.

9:48pm Fukudome almost named his son Chicago last year. For some reason, this makes me immensely happy.

9:45pm It has just occurred to me this is my sixth running diary (Bulls/Wizards, Bulls/Warriors, Bears/Vikings, Virginia/Texas Tech, Cubs/Rockies) and my record is looking like it’s going to be 5-1. From now on, I’m doing running diaries of every Chicago playoff game going forward. Seems reasonable.

9:59pm Dempster scatters two walks before giving up a two-out double to Ryan Braun. Cubs 12, Brewers 3.

10:06pm Five innings complete. Time for another beer.

10:10pm ESPN does a montage with maudlin music about 1908: Taft was the 27th president, the first Model T first produced, the 4th modern Olympics happened in London… this doesn’t even bother me. It’s absurd that this is a requirement for national consumption of my favorite baseball team.

10:13pm Dave O’Brian refers to the episode last season when Zambrano criticized the fans after a rocky stretch in the late months of the season. To be honest, I completely forgot about that. I forgave him immediately after he apologized. He’s like my drunk best friend who gets in fights with bouncers every weekend. He’s a solid guy, but occasionally he gets bent out of shape and you just have to nod and pretend like you know what he’s talking about.

10:18pm Erin Andrews gives us a report about how Lou Piniella feels about the topic of the 100 year “curse”. Thank God, it had been almost ten minutes. I almost forgot about that.

10:24pm Fukudome takes a seven pitch at-bat and finally bloops an RBI single into right. Cedeno scores from second. Cubs 13, Brewers 3.

10:34pm Six innings in the books.

10:54pm I took the 7th inning off to watch this based on Ben’s recommendation. I’m glad I did. It’s the segment from “Costas Now” that has been causing much fervor throughout the blogosphere over the past 24 hours. The panelists are Buzz Bissinger (author, Friday Night Lights), Will Leitch (of Deadspin.com) and Braylon Edwards (wideout, Cleveland Browns). If you are interest in sports and how it is covered, I recommend that you watch this piece (it’s about 15 minutes long). Then I would suggest that you read the response from FJM which does very competent work and is a favorite of B&B. They crush the idiocy of Bissinger better than I could and in a way they stick up for the fabric of the sports blogging populace. I enjoy blogging because it’s a form of self-expression that is easy to explore and truly fun. Sports and writing are both passions of mine. I know that nobody reads this, but that's not even the point. It's out there and really that's all I care about. I derive enjoyment by browsing sports blogs to get a different take from knowledgeable people who aren’t bound to teams or news agencies. When it’s something worthwhile, I become a repeat reader and I feel like the process has moved along to the benefit of us all. Mr. Bissinger incorrectly asserts that only morons frequent blogs and we should all be wringing our hands with worry at the direction things are headed. Now, I’m far from being considered a literary snob, but I appreciate traditional sportswriting as well. I love The Last Amateurs, The Breaks of the Game and (of course) Moneyball. It’s all a wonderfully rich tapestry and the traditions these writers uphold are complimented (not diminished) by solid sports blogs. I’ve even read Three Nights in August by Mr. Bissinger and really liked it. However, I found his ambush (which is what it was) to be extremely surface based and reactionary. He speaks about spending years upon years honing his craft just as his contemporaries have done, those who sit perched in press boxes collecting and relaying facts. He fails to recognize that every corner of writing has hacks. For every Hunter S. Thompson there is a Jay Mariotti. For every 60 Minutes there is a TMZ. Blogs aren’t the problem. Crusty old men who are hateful because their mediums are slowly being put out to pasture are the problem. OK, that’s all I got for right now. By the way, Cubs 13, Brewers 5.

11:04pm Marmol is in. He is by far the livest arm in the NL Central. I think he has the potential to be the next “elite closer in a league of his own” for years to come. I’m telling you, Mariano Rivera good. I say this with no reservations. He strikes out Gabe Kapler looking with gas on the outside corner. He strikes out Bill Hall swinging on a two-seam fastball on the inside corner. J.J. Hardy pops up to Soto.

11:22pm Derrick Turnbow has given up a run and now is in a two-out, bases loaded jam. Theriot up next. Cubs 14, Brewers 5.



11:26pm Turnbow walks in his second run of the inning. Cubs 15, Brewers 5.

11:27pm Cedeno hits a bases clearing double. Nobody is warming up in the bullpen. At this point, I just feel bad for the kid. He’s twisting in the wind. He has no command or velocity at this point. I understand that you want to save arms in a blowout, but this has got to CRUSH his confidence. Cubs 18, Brewers 5.

11:28pm Ward demolishes a double into the gap in right-center. Cedeno trots home. Ned Yoast FINALLY gets some action going in the bullpen. This is painful to watch even as a Cubs fan. Steve Phillips muses that he absolutely has to be playing injured and I’m inclined to agree. Cubs 19, Brewers 5.

11:32pm Hank White walks. Runners on first and second. Yoast taps his left arm. It’s about fucking time.

11:36pm Stetter relieves Turnbow and promptly strikes out DeRosa.

11:43pm Wuertz retires the side in the top of the 9th. Ballgame.

"I get the news I need on the weather report, I can gather all the news I need on the weather report."

My abhorrence of the media is now hopelessly apparent.

Deal with it.

The (cropped) running diary from Ginger’s:

8:28 a.m. C.S.T. – The Lady and I grab a booth, kitty corner from our big buddy with the Carlsberg tee (which was obviously going to be a dress on my Lilliputian frame, had I chosen to keep it). From what I can gather his name is pronounced Ya-kee(L ?). He chows on some taters like they’ve done his family wrong and deserve aggressive mastication. He is here, yet again, with the rest of the regulars (a group with which Lady and I are quickly becoming entwined, thanks to the friendly/heavy accent laden questions batted ‘round by our bar matrons), and we are all bundles of nervous anxiety. All that I can say for certain, at this moment, is that I hope the second half of this season has loads of FSC broadcasts at the homestead… for the sake of the indissoluble experience of anxiety, cigarettes, and footy.

9:01 a.m. – Kick-off – Boro get it started.

3 mins. – Nice formation today with John Arne Riise roaming on the left of midfield. Hopefully he can regain some consistent form and bag a few trademark screamers in the second half of this campaign. Good spell from Liverpool, Boro get a corner against the run of play. Over for a goal kick.

8 mins. – Pepe with a couple of “I wanna be a sweeper” moments. Bad/daisy-trimmer clearance.

11 mins. – Corner to the Reds after some midfield exchanges. Short corner, Steve Gerrard, Gerrard moves from left to right at the 18 yard box and uncorks a scalding shot, save by Mark Schwarzer (why is it he always has his best games against the ‘pool?). Another corner to the Reds, Big Sami heads over. Nada.

14 mins. – Mascherano takes one square on the dome from 9.5 yards: he’s dazed, gets some treatment, and may need a blow to regain some semblance of cognizance.

19 mins. – Damn fine save from Pepe after a floated header – flag is up for offside. The appearance of the save, and the fact that he continues to make clearances outside his box lead me to believe he’s spending too much time watching clips of everyone’s favorite Zimbabwean Bruce Grobbelaar.

20 mins. – Tenuous right now, Boro starting to come to life in the attacking sense.

23 mins. – Torres gets his boots in the act - finally. Boro have marked his runs well thus far, staving off any breaks and relegating him to build-up play and headers.

26 mins. – Goal. George Boateng of Boro gets a sliding shot from six yards into an open net. Pepe misjudged the play, attacked an aerial ball at the byline (which he had no chance of corralling), while Tuncay played the header back to the six yard box for an easy captain’s goal.

30 mins. – Robert Huth chips at Fernando’s calves as if doing so will release some German chocolate for him.

33 mins. – Boro look content to sit deep and absorb pressure. The midfield is getting closed down quickly; consequently, there is little crispness to the passing moves.

36 mins. – Yossi Benayoun gets a volley on after a nice spell of pressure. Schwarzer saves, offside flag is up – buggeration.

43 mins. – More dodgy defending from Liverpool. Far offside from Boro.

HALFTIME

Substitution at the beginning of the second half. Arbeloa makes way for Babel, J.A.R. moves to the more familiar left back position.

47 mins. – Javier Mascherano with a great ball, then, after a mistake by Riise, makes a tremendous tackle to spoil a Boro counter. Riise’s bad form shows little chance of abating at this moment.

54 mins. – Boro continue to exploit the right side of the Reds defense with great success – is Yossi playing too close to the front? Indubitably.

57 mins. – Babel works hard and earns a corner, then unleashes a scorcher just past Schwarzer’s left-hand post.

66 mins. – Downing rips a shot from about 17 yards and Pepe gets a finger on the ball, sending it careening off of the keeper’s best friend (his left-hand post). Dodged a bullet there, literally (maybe not quite literally).

71 mins. – GOAL!!! Torres with a screamer sending the pub into exultation. I tell Lady its official now, I am gay for Fernando Torres. She seems relieved by this statement. But why?

76 mins. – Nice spell to keep the pressure on the compact Middlesbrough defense. Great low shot from Babel – so close yet again.

87 mins. – Steve Gerrard, Gerrard from about 35 yards, pushed over the crossbar from Schwarzer.

90 mins. – Hyypia heads down to the keepers right, fine save to keep it level. Damn you Mark Schwarzer.

90 + mins. – Steve Gerrard, Gerrard tries to place one across the face of goal to the left side of Schwarzer, just not to be.

FULL TIME – goddamn it. ANOTHER GOD FORSAKEN DRAW. At least the Redmen scored at the Riverside for the first time in five years. At the very least.

As for the rest of the weekends fixtures, some promising turns of events and some horrifying statements to make.

Arsenal v. Birmingham City – 1:1

A great result as Liverpool simply could not afford to drop further back in the standings. It’s a blow for the Gunners after a bright start through an Adebayor penalty. They had not dropped points after an Adebayor goal yet this season. Thank heavens this was not the case today. It was a very lively match, and elucidates the reason the EPL is so much fun to watch, as any team can beat another on their day.

Aston Villa v. Reading – 3:1

Villa continue to impress under American ownership and the seemingly brilliant coaching of Martin O’Neill. A brace from John Carew, and yet another goal from a corner for the Big Dane, Martin Laursen, secured three more points for a Villa squad pushing for European qualification. They have scored more goals from set pieces than any other Premiership side. The bad news for me is that this result pulls them level on points with Liverpool.

Chelsea v. Tottenham Hotspur – 2:0

Chelsea continue their form under new manager Avram Grant, and maintain pressure on the top two. Another victory leaves them just four points clear of the top spot. Juliano Beletti uncorked a blazing shot from 30 yards, and Shaun Wright Phillips continued his sizzling form with a late sealer to prolong the Blues’ impressive 75^th straight unbeaten match at Stamford Bridge. However, newly signed (for a whopping 15 mil. pounds) Nicolas Anelka could not find the back of the net; the deep pockets of Roman Abramovich will continue to add depth to an already loaded squad (beset by injuries to some key players, mind, but still getting results). This is becoming a three horse race at the top, with Liverpool falling deeper into the mire. Looks like its suicide again for me.

Derby County v. Wigan Athletic – 0:1

Honestly, who cares other than the home support (and even then “care” is a relative term). The relegation battle for these sides will continue through to the end of the season, with Derby’s ticket down to the Championship all but stamped.

Everton v. Manchester City – 1:0

The blue portion of Merseyside had a good day, thanks to Joleon Lescott’s first half strike. The victory draws them level on points with Liverpool. Things are crowded for that fourth spot and Champions League qualification, as the teams from fourth to seventh are all level on points and separated only by goal differential. The dropped points by Man. City keep them on the same number and send them into that seventh spot. God help us all if Everton manage to keep the pressure on Liverpool through April and into May. Anytime I see some blue, I may get stabby.

Middlesbrough v. Liverpool – 1:1

DAMN IT! Liverpool are being traduced as a team that may not even qualify for the Champions League. This is a disgusting thought, and one based solely on many pundits’ desire to see the Reds flailing. They still have a game in hand on any team above or below them in the standings (minus, of course, their opponent for said game, West Ham, who find themselves moderately adrift), so the table is a bit misleading, as are some comments from either illiterate or just plain daft muppets (mainly the Super Sunday Plus crew, comprised of Andy Houlihan, Christian Miles (I often wonder aloud, whose hand is up his pooper manipulating that gob?), and the bitter ex-QPR man, Gary Richards. I envisage their broadcast associate, and staunch Liverpool supporter Keith Costigan, leaving a fresh, steamy pile on their keyboards or lending some of his special brand of Irish “seasoning” to their tea for their blatant defamation of the beloved Reds). For Boro, the result continues a strong run against the best competition and raises questions about the lack of results against the lower half of the league (wherein they find themselves).

West Ham United v. Fulham – 2:1

Dean Ashton and Anton Ferdinand secured three points for the Hammers and pushed Fulham further into the relegation fight. It started brightly enough for the Cottagers of Fulham, but constant pressure from United forced goalkeeper Anti Niemi to earn his pay. It probably should have been more one-sided, in favor of West Ham, if not for the heroic, and often acrobatic, keeping from the Finn. Ashton alone peppered the visitor’s goal as if taking target practice and could nearly have had a brace, if not more, for his efforts. Both of these squads, like so many others, find themselves wearing the Sock and Buskin at stages of each match they play.

Sunderland v. Portsmouth – 2:0

Roy Keane’s Sunderland team took three much needed points off a Pompey side embattled by reports of coach Harry Redknapp (henceforth known simply as Droopy dog) being linked with a vacancy at the helm of Newcastle United, and heavily weakened by the African Cup of Nations. Sunderland got both goals from former Manchester United man Kieran Richardson, one off a poor pass from the Pompey midfield, the other when Sol Campbell left a ball for the byline, only to have it kept in play by Sunderland’s Kemwyne Jones. He skittered a pass back to Richardson, who could not miss. Pompey must get back into the form that had them contending for that coveted European berth. Otherwise, Benny C may have to traipse across the pond and put some fight in the side via his own moxie and fists. Huh. That doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

Bolton Wanderers v. Blackburn Rovers – 1:2

The Lancashire derby is rarely a dull one, as two very physical sides beat the ever-lovin’ sh*t out of each other in an attempt to assert defensive dominance on their local rivals. This was certainly an enjoyable match, with Kevin Nolan striking first on a gorgeous wonder-volley across the face of goal. Christopher Samba drew the sides level from a corner with a good header and Jason Roberts stole the match in the dying moments for a Rovers side desperate to stop the slide down the table. Roberts’s run was strong and purposeful, and his finish was as cool as they come (though it did take a slight deflection). Wanderers need to up their game if they intend on staying in the top flight, especially after Nicolas Anelka made the big money move to Chelsea, and with El-Hadji Diouf and Abdoulaye Meite away at the African Cup of Nations. They must string some wins together to get out of the logjam near the relegation zone.

Manchester United v. Newcastle United – 6:0 (Pfffftttt!!!)

Newcastle’s sub-standard performances have cost Sam Allardyce his seat at the helm of the Toon. For the first half, Newcastle looked a decent side, absorbing the constant pressure from the Red Devils and escaping some close calls, thanks in large part to their keeper and some rather fortunate non-calls by referee Rob Styles (not so much for the fact that they should have been called, but rather because it was Manchester United, who often get the rub of the green from the officials). Towards the end of a scoreless first half, the Red Devils should have gone down 1-0, as Michael Owen broke clear behind the defense, only to be flagged for a non-existent offside. The replay was clear as day, and the Devils got lucky on that occasion. After that bit of fortune, the second half came and went with six goals for Manchester United: a hat trick for Cristiano Ronaldo (his first in English football), a brace from Carlos Tevez, and a fine volley from Rio Ferdinand right inside the post. The Geordies never stood a chance after the second half began. The victory placed Manchester United atop the standings on goal differential, but level on points with Arsenal. It was a display that showed their intent to snag the Premier League title for the second season in a row, and reminded me of the gap in quality (at the moment) between the top and Liverpool.

I feel filthy.

I need a shower.

Oh, Mr. Simpson, I cannot go there! Jacksonville Municipal Stadium was the site of my spiritual depantsing!

1:09 pm - It's a couple of moments before kickoff and I'm watching the Gator Bowl with my Dad in Keswick, VA. We have both spent the better part of the morning in bed nursing what we both hope is the worst hangover of 2008. My Mom (aka the smart one who didn't partake in the copious whiskey drinking and cigar smoking) is reminding us in a purposely shrill tone that it's a beautiful day outside.

I was a boy of 13 the last time Virginia played on the first of January. I've been going to UVa homecoming games with my parents for as long as I could sit still for three hours and be sedated with promises of popcorn and hot dogs. I learned "the good ole song of wa-hoo-wa" before I could read or write. So, basically, yeah, this was a big deal for me.

I ask my Dad for his prediction right before kickoff, he shakes his head grimly:
"Not good, Bubba. Texas Tech 37 , UVa 21"

1:11pm - Robbie Gould's brother booms the opening kick off out of the endzone. So far, so good.

1:13pm - Chris Long bats a Texas Tech pass down on 3rd and 10, a punt ensues. I love that the University retired his number before he played in his last game with the reasoning, "Why wait?"


1:19pm - After a three and out for Virginia, my Dad and I watch one of those Sonic commercials where those two guys sit in a car and talk about the new menu items. Comments such as "Can you name two more annoying people on TV than these jagoffs?" and "Have you ever actually SEEN a Sonic before?" are volleyed back and forth. There are many questions... but few answers.

1:27pm - Tech marches down the field and scores a TD. The word "methodical" comes to mind. 10 plays, 78 yards and 3:37 off the clock. I already hate the spread offense. Does this team even recruit running backs?

1:31pm - The announcer prognosticates, "We might see Lalich at some point in this game." (Translation: "This will be a blowout and the true freshman who hasn't played a down since Week 5 will get some reps in garbage time.")

1:38pm - Virginia QB Jameel Sewell has a couple nice runs, Mikell Simpson makes an appearance and picks up 11 yards on 2 carries. Nice drive so far - we're in the Red Zone!

1:39pm - It's the much beloved jump pass to TE Jonathan Stupar for six points! The announcers say Sewell has "channeled his inner Tim Tebow". Yay!

Tied at 7-7, 4:48 left in the first quarter.

1:46 pm - Amazing play by the Texas Tech punter Jonathan Lacour. The ball was long snapped over his head, he scrambles for it and gets off a rushed kicked it WITH HIS LEFT FOOT WHILE GETTING ARMBARED TO THE GROUND and still managed a 15 yard punt. Virginia has another fabulous three and out from the 50 yard line and punted right back to them, downing it just inside the Red Raider 15 yard line. Basically, Lacour saved the Texas Tech 3 points.

1:52pm - Nate Collins gets two of them back by sacking Graham Harrell in the endzone!!! I’m having NFC Championship flashbacks. This is officially a good thing.

1:57pm- End of first quarter, Virginia 9-7

Dad leans over:

"Well, so far so good. If the game ended now, we'd win. Right son?"

I nod.

"I have a firm grasp of the obvious. Okay"

Whiskey kills brain cells, I’m fairly certain.


2:08pm - The Chris Long lovefest continues. I'm very comfortable with this premise.

2:11pm - Jeffery Fitzgerald puts his hat on Harrell to make it 2nd and 18. Then Clint Sintim gets held on a screen pass. 2nd & 28 on the Texas Tech 37. After an incomplete pass it looks like the D is about to slam the door.

2:15pm - The door slams but a window opens. Lacour booms a punt that is downed on the Virginia 2 yard line. This could be the only game in bowl history that is 9-9 without any field goals. Lacour is easily the MVP of the game so far.


2:19pm - Well, that last statement lasted for all but 4 minutes. Mikell Simpson just set a Gator Bowl (and UVa school) record with a 94 yard run. Just GORGEOUS blocking. Benny calls as he crosses the goaline and we simply start exchanging single words for the next 30 seconds... "NASTY" "GROSS" "SICK" “UNREAL”

To be honest, I was just happy to see him manipulating the telephone again in a responsible manner. I was a little worried about him last night based mostly around the rambling incoherent messages he left me. Seven, to be exact.

Just as a point of reference, Karen (Benny's wonderfully understanding girlfriend) posted this on my Facebook wall this morning: “Ben crossed over to the dark side last night... Let's just say, this morning he told me he has no memory of "happy new year". But I was able to capture a video of him singing and dancing to THE HOT STEPPER by Ini Kamoze. I really could have used your back.”

Benny. You are truly the standard by which "I think he's had too much" is measured.

2:26pm - Virginia 16-7 with 6:39 left in the half. The Wahoos look strong on defense and force another punt.

2:28pm - As I'm furiously typing away on my laptop during a commercial break, my Dad muses outloud:
"That's a helluva rack."
I look up with great interest.
It's a Hartford Mutual commercial.
I turn my attention back to the laptop, perturbed.

2:36pm - ANOTHER INTENTIONAL GROUNDING IN THE ENDZONE!!! This time LB Clint Sintim is the culprit. What are the odds? No. Seriously.

Virginia leads 18-7 AND we get the ball back with 2:32 left in the half.

2:40pm - I enjoy statistics.

Rushing yards
UVa - 164
Texas Tech - negative 16

To borrow a phrase from Benny, Texas Tech's running game exists in a vacuum.

2:44pm - A roughing the passer call puts UVA at the 18 yard line with 32 seconds left. This is followed by a pass to guard Brandon Albert who lined up as a tackle so he assumes eligible receiver status. The play gains 6 yards and my Dad posits that they are throwing him in the playbook as a token of good faith so he won't jump to the NFL this summer. Albert is listed at 6-7 and 315 pounds. I say we line him up in the slot and see if he kills anyone.

2:49pm - Gould hits a FG as time expires to make it an unconventional 21-7 at half time. Texas Tech coach Mike Leach gives a whinny interview as he walks off the field with the basic message being, "Take away a couple big plays and they really haven't moved the ball on us that much." Um, ok.




3:13pm - The second half starts with a Texas Tech successful onside kick. Wonderful.

3:14pm - Texas Tech fumbles, Virginia recovers, but he was initially ruled down so the Red Raiders retain possession. While this is a challengeable play, nothing happens. They better not score a touchdown here, otherwise that is a complete mind fuck.

3:22pm - Texas Tech marches down the field and scores a touchdown. CB Chris Cook's replacement #19 (not going to dignify him by looking up his name) blows his coverage assignment. This is either a turning point in the game or it isn't. We're about to find out.

Virginia 21-14 with 10:01 in the 3rd quarter. My head hurts.

3:29pm - Stupar pulls in a first down pass on third down and long off a ball deflected at the line. Maybe the good ju-ju is coming back to our side.

3:31pm - Mikell Simpson is down on the field after an unsuccessful option. It looks like his head was driven into the ground. He walked off after a minute or two, but he's certainly seeing stars. I'm just going to shut up for a while.

3:42pm - Virginia stands tough and halts a promising drive. Texas Tech fails to convert on 4th down. Mike Leach goes for it on 4th down more than Benny does when he's playing Madden after a 12pack.

3:47pm - Sewell has a nice run, followed by a nice run by Jackson. The report from the sideline is Simpson has a neck stinger, he'll be sore tomorrow, but he's getting back in. Things are looking up.

3:49pm - Sewell fumbles a snap and then sails his 14th pass of the game. Punt.

Sewell is joining the ranks of my extremely volatile “Sports Love-Hate Relationship List” which includes Rex Grossman, Kirk Hinrich and Rich Hill. For the record, this is NOT a good list to be on.

3:51pm - Virgnia recovers a fumble at midfield after a Texas Tech pass completion. Just a fabulous defensive play. We desperately need a short field.

3:54pm - End of the 3rd. Virginia 21 -14. Holla.

4:00pm - Sewell, after picking up a first down on a run up the middle, is hurt. It looks like he could be out for the game. True freshman Peter Lalich is warming up. My mom made me a grilled cheese sandwich to cheer me up. She's the best.

4:04pm - Lalich goes three and out, almost throws a pick, but one of the Texas Tech players lines up in the neutral zone. Simpson promptly picks up the first down. It becomes quite evident that we are really going to tempt fate in the final quarter of this game.

4:07pm - A celebration penalty is called on Texas Tech after a fairly typical tackle in the flat. My Dad correctly identifies the problem: "This is a dumb bell team."

The penalty moves us to 2nd & 3 on the 8 yard line still up 21-14 with 12:14 left in the game. Lalich is officially in a "dare to be great" scenario.

4:12pm - Lalich finds Simpson for a dumpoff pass that concludes in the endzone. Virginia leads 28-14. My Dad went upstairs to shoot a squirrel filling his gullet at our birdfeeder with an airgun strategically placed on a second floor landing. Things are really starting to happen in the King household.

4:18pm - Tech converts on 4th & 4

4:21pm - Tech converts on 4th & 3 on a pass interference call. They are really starting to play with fire.

4:23pm - Standout Texas Tech WR Michael Crabtree catches a tipped pass for a 15 yard gain. They are now in the red zone. Talk about nickel and diming your way down the field. There's 8:45 left in the game.

4:28pm - Fourth and goal on the 1 yard line. "This could be the game"

4:29pm - They pass it? Harell feels the pressure. Incomplete. Wahoo's take over on the their 1 yard line. After three runs up the middle, Virginia punts from the shadows of their own goalpost. Tech takes over on their 48 with 5:38 left, down two touchdowns. It's looked VERY promising.

4:35pm - Chris Long on three straight plays: streaks by his defender and causes a holding penalty, slides by two defenders and hurries a pass for incompletion, bats down a pass. He's got a big piece of sod in his helmet and looks to be snarling at this point. My hand hurts from high-fiving my Dad.

4:38pm - #19 is getting TORCHED. He just interfered with Crabtree in the end zone and he STILL caught the ball for a touchdown. There's 3:31 left and it's now a 7 point game. It's time to pick up some first downs running the ball.

4:43pm - After a touchback, Brandon Albert incurs a false start penalty. 1st and 15. Christ.

4:45pm - Lalich fumbles, Texas Tech recovers on the Virginia 4 yard line. First and goal for Texas Tech. We have just lost cabin pressure.



4:48pm - Texas punches it in. Tie game. Unbelievable. Erie silence.

5:03pm - Sewell is back to run a 3 minute drill. Hope the knee is OK.

5:05pm - Three and out. 2:17 left.

5:06pm - Poor punt for UVa.

5:07pm - Dad and I look at each other and say "self destruct" at the same time. It's quiet in here.

5:08pm - Texas Tech recovers it's own fumble. Naturally.

5:09pm - Tech is in field goal range. 24 seconds left in the game. Just waiting for the axe to drop.

5:11pm - Texas Tech kicker Tralica comes out onto field. He's 12/20 on the season. Seven seconds left. 41 yard FG awaits.

5:12pm - Groh ices Tralica

5:13pm - Game Over. Texas Tech 31, Virginia 28.

That was just brutal.

September 16th, 2007

This past Sunday, my dad, Karen, Amy, Kim, and I (and thousands of other Packer fans) invaded Giants Stadium. The chronicle of the day follows below:

My dad and my sisters show up at around 8:30 a.m. in Hoboken after getting an early start from Long Island. The excited early morning banter consists of picks for the day, last minute fantasy football adjustments, and determining just how much bean dip is enough bean dip (a baked casserole consisting of layered refried beans, salsa, sour cream, and shredded mozzarella, it holds a place of honor in Carthew family lore and has been present in triumph and in failure.)

Karen, still in bed, announces that she refuses to get up until her snowsuit is brought to her. For two consecutive years Karen's bio-rhythms have successfully coincided with the arrival of football season.

We begin to get together lawn chairs, pots and pans, liquor and beer, and various other accoutrements and undertake the 15 minute journey to East Rutherford. Soon after entering the lot on the east side of the stadium at 10:25, we pull into the center of 3 vacant spots knowing that the neighboring locations will not be filled until shortly before gametime. Everyone is about their business setting up propane stoves, cracking beers, and mixing drinks as Giants Stadium hovers in the background. My dad has brought several items of Green Bay Packers paraphenalia which precariously perch on the hatchback of the Volkswagen. These pieces of "flair" are brought out of their showcase for every game that the Packers play back in the house in Merrick and consist of a beanbag football that has three different versions of the "Go, Pack, Go" chant, a Russian babushka doll (inside are Favre, Reggie White, Antonio Freeman, LeRoy Butler, and Mark "I thought she was 27" Chmura), and a horrid metal and wood work of art spelling "PACKERS" in stenciled lettering.

The bratwursts soak in 12 fluid ounces of Budweiser as the cigars are lit and the conversation meanders from recent terrifying experiences with marijuana to at what point has one eaten too much bean dip to why the fuck do so many Giants fans willfully elect to wear Eli Manning jerseys. Seriously, if you're a Giants fan, and if you own a Manning or Brandon Jacobs jersey, please kill yourself, because you're the reason why the Meadowlands was half empty with 8 minutes left in the game and the Giants down merely 2 scores. Kudos, however, is deserved by the people who had Banks, Carson, Simms, Hampton, Bavaro, McConkey, and Way (yes, THE Charles Way) sewn or ironed between the shoulders.


The time seems to pass quicker as the root beer and vodkas are downed and the sweet smell of brat and beer steam from the pan. Coupled with a pristine end-of-summer day that carries just enough of a hint of autumn to qualify for football weather, few things in life are so simple yet so perfect.

At 12:30 we trek to take our seats via the port-o-potties that stand within a brisk walk from the south entrance of the stadium. I will eschew any description of the stall that had "tiki barber is gay" scribbled on the wall because I don't want you to despair and lose all hope in humanity as I have. We split up with Amy and Kim and leave them to their own devices. I expect them at least a half dozen stories of sexual harrassment from 45 to 55 year old men. It's not funny guys, it's creepy.

As we take our own seats we are immediately greeted with "Now you know what Custer felt like," from the male couple in front of us. As I explain the historical reference to Karen, she loudly comments on how that is probably one of the lamest things one could say in that situation. We realize we're surrounded by douchebag Giants fans (my favorite kind). In spite of this, we receive very little heckling, even during the first 3 quarters (while the game was, you know, still in doubt) because (i) Giants fans prefer to complain about perfectly solid officiating; and (ii) they would prefer to heckle their own team.

The pace of the game is slow during 1st quarter, each team sparring and content to battle for field position and each missing a field goal. Then, "startling, like lightning out of a clear sky," as C.S. Lewis once described the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Brett Favre made a throw (one of several) that subconciously makes you rise out of your seat and gape, the only noise capable of describing what it was like to witness that moment is a guttural yell and the only gesture an irrational point at the man who authored it. This toss, a 46 yard bomb caught James Jones streaking down the sidelines in stride and surrounded by 3 defenders with 11 minutes left in the half. The Pack light up the board shortly thereafter on a run by Wynn.

The Giants would answer right back on a 2 play drive culminating in a nice throw-and-catch from Manning to Plaxico. Save for Giants field goal to take the lead into the half, the rest of the 2nd quarter continued to pass uneventfully. Beer time.

As the 2nd half started, the Packers special teams showed an example of an all-around performance that contributed substantially the victory by returning the kickoff to around midfield. In addition to this return and in spite of the missed field goal, the special teams forced and recovered a fumble and consistently provided the Giants offense with subpar field position. The short drive that resulted in a touchdown pass to Bubba Franks (his 587th from inside the 5 yard line) would put the Packers in the lead for good.

Following another Tynes field goal, the subsequent drive bridged the 3rd and 4th quarters and was finished by another beautiful toss, this time to Donald Lee in the corner of the end zone. This drive was the critical point of the game as there appeared to be a clear change in momentum and the Packers began to impose their will on offense by altering the tempo and going to a quick huddle. We would also find out later that Brett completed his first 14 passes of the final half, simply a surreal performance to watch. His next touchdown pass, following the aforementioned fumble was thrown as hard as I've seen him throw the ball and left a vapor trail through 3 levels of the Giants defense to find Donald Driver in the back of the end zone.

The remainder of the game put an exclamation point on the victory as Eli threw a pass that only can be described as effeminate and frightened to a rushing defensive lineman and Mr. Wynn (I'm still learning his first name) sprinted for a long rushing touchdown. If it weren't for that rush, the Packers would've finished with under 50 yards rushing. If we entertain any hope of winning this division, the rushing performance will need to improve to something a little better than less than mediocre. I never thought I would be so fervently hoping for the return of Vernand Morency.

The game ended 35-13 and we ventured down to the end zone where the players exit into the tunnels to the locker room. On this day, Brett broke the career record for victories by a quarterback and we and the other remaining Packers fans wanted to give him a send off for this accomplishment. This time, unlike a few others involving Brett, I was able to hold back tears. Barely. I hope that wasn't the last time that I will get to see him play in person because there has been nothing that I have seen that can compare to it.


As we exited the stadium, we decided to celebrate the victory with a post-game tailgate, some now-cooled bean dip, a couple more beers, and throwing the football around. Sometimes, life is just so good and so easy.


(pictures, courtesy of Karen)

A draft day in the life of Max Cohen (of Pi fame)

Max spends his early hours haunted by the possibility of the perfect draft. He stays tucked away, hunched over his computer, Euclid, in his dimly lit apartment on the edge of Chinatown. Grafting number systems, creating new running back prediction software, looking for a ghost in the machine. This is his draft day:


7:45 AM

Sitting in a nearby park on a bench surrounded by a swirl of delicate garbage. Max is furiously typing away on his laptop looking for sleeper ratios while calculating his opponents drafting tendencies on a round-by-round basis. His cell phone rings the MNF theme as he fishes it out of his pocket, eyes never leaving the computer screen.

His mentor, Sol, is on the line,

"The draft is at 5 o'clock today, you must learn to calm the mind and relax. It's been a month, Max, you haven't taken a single break!" Sol is earnest and loving with his plea.

"But I'm SO CLOSE," Max emotes after a thoughtful pause.

10:00 AM

Millie, Harriet and Blanche are jostled during their daily mid-morning stroll around the block when they see Max feverishly tearing through a full-to-the-brim trashcan on the corner of Essex and Grand. He's screaming obscenities and muttering something about the Larry Johnson Matrix.

Suddenly, his body becomes rigid with self awareness as he acknowledges the old women and their palpable disgust. Max attempts to disarm this situation but, due to his lack of human social contact, comes off more of a wandering vagrant than before:

"I just threw out something and I didn't realize that I needed it. It's just a printout," he explains calmly. Then, correctly sensing that he is getting no sympathy, barks at the old women, "I LOST MY DATA!"

1:30 PM

Max is on the roof, surrounded by binders of depth charts and 3rd down efficiency statistics, rocking back and forth. He takes a mental inventory to himself as the wind plays with his already mad genius hair:

“Failed treatments to date: Beta blockers, calcium channel blockers, adrenalin injections, high dose ibuprofen, steroids, Trager Mentastics, violent exercise, cafergot suppositories, caffeine, acupuncture, marijuana, Percodan, Midrine, Tenormin, Sansert, homeopathics. No results. No results...”



4:30 PM (30 minutes before the draft)

The ending of a phone conversation between Max and Sol:

Max: "...So, MAYBE, even though we're not sophisticated enough to be AWARE OF IT, there is an underlying order...a pattern, beneath every 'Go' game. Maybe that pattern is like the pattern in the stockmarket, like in NFL Football. The two sixteen number."

Sol: "That is INSANITY, Max!"

Max: "OR MAYBE IT'S GENIUS! I have to get that number!"

***CLICK***

6:54PM (moments after the final pick)

Max walks outside and is immediately mobbed by a group of well wishers and admirers. They want to congratulate him on the perfect fantasy draft and buy him a beer. They want to talk to him about how he got such great value even after the 13th round. They yearn to know the secrets so that they might win their own fantasy leagues.

Max cuts through the crowd, yelling with a fiery purpose, "Damn it already! Stop following me. I'm not interested in your money. I'm searching for a way to understand our world. I'm searching for perfection. I don't deal with mediocre materialistic people like you!"

A Cubbie afternoon in late June

1:05PM - I just settled into my seat with a hotdog, a beer and a scorecard. I'm ready to go. At this point I cast my gaze towards the field and see Tony the Tiger throwing out the First Pitch. He's 6'8" if he's and inch. He throws what looks like a back door slider (similar to the one Eckersley famously threw to Gibson to end Game One of the 1988 World Series) with a tremendous amount of zip considering he's in giant orange cat costume. Depending on who's behind the plate, that's a borderline strike and a definite out-pitch. These are the moments when my sober brain becomes aware of itself and is grateful it's not currently impaired by hallucinogens.

It's a humid day, the wind is gusting out to right field at a steady pace and it's cloudy but not entirely ominous. I have a feeling like if the Cubs are up in the 4th and the rain starts coming down, we're going to have a collective Bishop Pickering moment, screaming up to the heavens, "BUT THE GOOD LORD WOULD NEVER DISRUPT THE GREATEST WINNING STREAK OF THE SEASON!!!" The beer is cold and the sweat on the back of my neck invigorates me every time a gentle wind brushes past. The prospect of two straight sweeps going into a weekend series against the Brewers at home has everyone bouncing on their soles, maneuvering through the crowds with purpose...

1:15PM - Wayne Messmer dominates another rendition of the National Anthem (again). He's the best. Whenever Mr. Messmer sings and the ivy is pulsing along the outfield wall and the azure skies are peeking out behind clouds, hinting at another glorious day at the ballpark... well, it's hard not to get emotional.

1:29PM - Zambrano easily retires the first two batters and then almost loads the bases on walks before Atkins pops out lazily to second base. The guys in front of me are pissed off because Big Z is pissed off... or something... I couldn't really follow their serpentine logic. I'm fighting the urge to get their attention and give them the hands out, palms down, universal "relax, guys" signal while exaggeratedly shrugging my shoulders and raising my eyebrows in mock sincerity.

1:38PM - In between innings I glanced up to the rooftops past right field and noticed the signs "Eamus Catuli" and "AC 036198". I use the word "notice" because they've been there for so long that I don't mentally acknowledge them, just like elevator music or those plug-in air fresheners. The picture I've attached here is from the 2000 season. Don't get it? Don’t worry, I don't either, but I'll attempt to explain. EAMUS CATULI is Latin for "Go Cubs". AC is supposed to stand for Anno Catuli or "The Year of Our Cubs"... I know what you're thinking, pretty clever, huh? It gets better. The following pairs of numbers represent the years since we've won our Division (2003 or 03 years), won the NL pennant (1945 or 61 years) and won the World Series (1908 or 98 years). Wasn't that fun? Are we going to add another digit in two years to make it 100? Will that be depressing enough? I just wish we could win it all, not for the simple joy of winning anymore... but just because I want to be able to shut up about it (as a fanbase).

1:46PM - This is Zambrano's pitch sequence to end the top of the 2nd inning against Yorvit Torrealba: 66mph (strike looking), 91mph (strike looking), 92 mph (ball high), 94 mph (swinging helplessly and missing).

1:55PM - Cubs 1, Rockies 0. Bottom 2nd. Derosa scored from 3rd base on a Theriot single up the middle. Through two innings, Jason Hirsh has given up 3 hits, 2 wild pitches and a walk.

2:15PM - The centerfield scoreboard shows Houston has just pulled even with the Brewers in the 4th inning in Milwaukee. I haven't pulled this hard for the Ass-hos since the World Series two years ago.





















2:24PM - Cubs 4, Rockies 0. Bottom 3rd. After walking Lee and Floyd, Hirsh gives up a 3-run jack to DeRosa. He then walks Hill on four straight pitches and finally ends the inning with a monster warning track shot to Theriot. Looking REAL SHAKY. I don't really know anything about Rockies pitchers because it's generally a wasteland for fantasy baseball purposes (thin air in Denver causing the ball to travel further i.e. more homeruns). I scanned the rosters included with my scorecard and saw some names I barely recognized and some numbers that made me sad. I decided that when I got home, I was going to check the (home/away) ERA splits because this whole series has been peppered by some consistently suspect pitching on their part. I posit that the difference won't be THAT pronounced. Here's what I found:

Aaron Cook (6.43/3.60): 104 innings pitched and 33 strikeouts. 33! Also he's owned in 2.2% of ESPN Fantasy leagues. I think he has a big family and they all draft him and bench him. You know, for moral support.
Josh Fogg (5.46/4.37): and a WHIP of 1.51
Jeff Francis (3.94/3.60): the definition of a good hitting team is when Jeff Francis is the ace of your staff and you're still only two games below .500
Rodrigo Lopez (3.27/5.60): 50 inning pitched and 26 strikeouts with a WHIP of 1.40 and it could be argued that he's their second best starter.
Jason Hirsh (5.63/4.49): Our boy.

So what have we learned? Well, besides the fact that I like to rip on pitching from Colorado?

That's right. Nothing.

2:33PM - Zambrano ends the top of the 4th inning with a strikeout. He's got two 1-2-3 innings to his credit and 6 K's. He's all pumped up and I watch him walk off the field to a raucous ovation while giving his traditional "point to the sky" gesture right as he gets to the dugout steps. What does that feel like? What is the equivalent of that sensation in other sports? In basketball, I think it would be a point guard backpedaling down the court and pounding his chest after threading the needle on a backdoor pass that's certain to be a SportsCenter Top Play. In football, it would be a wide receiver catching a crucial third-and-long ball in traffic, absorbing the other teams best hit and popping up while motioning "first down" as the defensive players just kinda stand around looking at each other. In hockey? I dunno, not really a big fan... something like this I’d imagine.

2:40PM - Cubs 5, Rockies 0. Bottom 4th. Fontenot grooves a 0-1 pitch 415 feet to straight away right. I think this kid may be our starting 2nd basemen for the next 10 years and I'm not even kidding. He's been up a month and I'm already completely sold.

2:49PM - DeRosa barehands a chopper down the 3rd baseline and guns out Tulowitski by a half a step. He's basically been in the well documented "I do what I want" mode for the past couple of innings.

3:00PM- Hirsh's first 1-2-3 inning in the 5th. I think he's starting to settle down.

3:14PM - Cubs 5, Rockies 2. Top 6th. Zambrano gives up a two out, bases loaded single to Hawpe before getting his final out.

3:18PM - Jacque Jones comes in to pinch hit for Big Z to a smattering of boos. I think it's a bad position for JJ to be in because all month he's been the subject of trade talks and he never starts anymore with these young guys tearing the cover off the ball. The court of public opinion has taken its stand and now he's up in a "yeah, but" pinch hit appearance. Even if he hits a homerun, everyone will say, "Yeah, but he's still hitting .234 and throws like a special needs child." He works the count to 2-2 and then grounds out to first. By the way he lopes back to the dugout you can tell he hates Chicago and wants out.

3:24PM - Cubs reliever Billy Petrick makes his major league debut in the top of the 7th. I like this move because he's facing Torrealba, Taveras (hitting for Hirsh) and Sullivan with a 3-run lead. Pinella starts the inning with action in the bullpen incase the kid unravels. Limited pressure. Let's see what he's got...

Petrick is ahead of every batter he faces. Torreabla grounds out to second. Then Taveras strikesout looking and people start yelling, "Come on Billy!". He touches 94 twice against Sullivan who finally strikes out swinging. The crowd erupts and he walks off to a standing ovation which bleeds into "Take me out to the ball game". A great Wrigley moment I'm sure he'll never forget.















3:30PM - Cubs 6, Rockies 2. Bottom 7th. Fontenot scores from 3rd base on a Floyd sacrafice fly. The weather has officially turned. Big sweaty droplets of rain could come crashing down at any moment and a thick, cool wind is now blowing in from center field.

3:40PM - Cubs 6, Rockies 4. Top 8th. Petrick, being just one strike from getting out of the inning, gives up a LINE DRIVE 2-run jack to Atkins. That ball took literally three seconds to travel 365 feet into the left field basket. Still, a memorable debut.

3:55PM - A drunk Cubs fan infront of me is heckling Hill after an awkward swinging strikeout, "This guy’s a BUM!!! We want Giovani Soto!!!"

Never been said before. Ever.

(even though I kinda agree with him)

4:05PM - Marmol throws up two backwards K's before this happens:



4:20PM - The torrential downpour begins as I'm putting my key in my front door. I'm reminded of an Ice Cube song as I push through into the entryway.

Bring on the Brewers...

Bulls/Warriors Running Diary

The Bulls/Warriors tickets fell through (although I did pick up some tickets for when LeBron comes in town later this month) but I decided to keep a running diary anyway. Listening to Johnny "Red" Kerr and "Stinky" Stacey King on WGN with the Warriors while drinking a six-pack is about as good as it gets for me. By the way, Stacey gets his nickname from being the ultimate warrior in garbage time for the Bulls in the early 90's. Onto the game...

7:39pm - Starting lineups for both teams are announced as the crowd settles into their seats. The Bulls are running out Gordon, Hinrich, PJ, Big Ben and Deng. Coach Skiles has been using P.J. Brown as a starter ever since Nocioni went down a few weeks ago. I love the move, keep it big, keep it physical, keep it heavy on the boards. The Warriors (ravaged by injury) are starting Harrington, Biedrins, Ellis, J Rich and Azubuike. Stinky Stace points out that Richardson is the only starter for them to have played any college ball. I'm feeling pretty good right now.

7:44pm - PJ Brown looks like the old man in a pickup game consisting of young guys. He demands the ball in the post, takes a "power" dribble into the lane, plods slowly toward the hoops, forces up an antiquated looking hook shot and calls his own foul. Meanwhile, all the young guards who want to run are looking at each other with sideways glances each time this happens as if to say, "Who the hell does this guy think he is?".

7:48pm - Ben Gordon is 3-for-4 from the field and has 7 points in the early going. He's one of the purest shooters in the game, hands down. He looks like a little Reggie Miller rolling off screens, squaring his shoulders at full speed and dropping his hand in the cookie jar (as the man says). The thing I love most about BG (besides the fact that he heats up so quickly and rarely forces up a bad shot) is his body language when he shoots. Just based on his release, you can tell with about 80% certainty whether or not the shot is going down. It's really uncanny.

Timeout with 6:49 left in the 1st quarter. Bulls 16, Warriors 6.

7:54pm - The Warriors switch to a 3-2 zone. I'm thinking the impetus of this move is their lack of size on the interior. With big bodies like Brown and Wallace moving people around, the Warriors tempt the Bulls to beat them from the perimeter while marganalizing their ability for cohesive team rebounding. What transpires is a barrage of treys (for both teams) as lazy rotation and deadeye shooting carry the rest of the quarter. I'm having one of those Sportscenter flashbacks when a team hits a record amount of three pointers in a game and the entire highlight is just a ticker of them raining bombs from downtown for 30 seconds. This is shaping up to be once of those games.

7:58pm - Tyrus Thomas just threw down an incredible dunk over J Rich off a Gordon alley-oop pass in transition. The play before Thomas came from the weakside and swatted Ellis into the stands. I think this whole Slam Dunk fiasco with Ty has helped him focus and let him just worry about what he can control which is being a high energy guy off the bench. In that respect he reminds me of Cliff Levingston (not style-wise mind you) from those early 90's Bulls because he comes off the bench going full speed and his effort is palpable almost immediately. Contagious effort is a commodity I wouldn't mind having in spades come playoff time.

8:06pm - Richardson hits a leaner from 40 feet with a hand in his face to end the quarter. His teammates seem only mildly excited. NBA players are freakishly good.

End of the 1st quarter. Bulls 31, Warriors 28.

8:12pm - The offensive rebounding by the Warriors tonight is astounding considering their personnel. Great energy. Never would have guessed they have lost their last three games and just played last night in Milwaukee.

8:14pm - Monta Ellis just launched a 21-footer from the wing that went 19 feet. Red Kerr brings up the stat that Ellis is shooting 25% from downtown this year which just further cements my claim that he's the new Tony Parker. Wonderful slasher, scorer in the lane and passer but just miserable shooting from distance. All he's got to do now is start dating an elfish-looking woman with a debatable degree of celebrity and rapping in foreign tongues and we have a copyright infringement on our hands.

Nellie immediately subs Ellis out for Sarunas Jasikevicius. I mention this because Sarunas is quickly climbing the list of "All-Time NBA Names that are Fun to Say" right there with Detlef Schrempf, Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf and Dikembe Mutombo.

Timeout with 8:42 left in the 2nd quarter. Bulls 36, Warriors 35.

8:24pm- Tyrus Thomas collects an offensive rebound in the paint and goes right back up (flat-footed) to flush it HARD over Adonal Foyle who's only true value is as a shot blocker. I mean, it was right in Foyle's mug. Somewhere Roman Adler just felt a chill go down his spine.

Timeout with 5:10 left in the 2nd quarter. Bulls 45, Warriors 44.

8:27pm - Gordon and Deng check back in. At this point I decide to myself that we should be up 10 by half. The very first time down the floor Harrington steps in a passing lane, weaves through three Bulls defenders on his one-man fastbreak and treats the crowd to a nice dunk. Coast-to-coast with all the ease of a stroll through Central Park. I've said it once, I'll say it again... What were the Pacers thinking?

8:34pm - Sefolosha hits another trey to make it eleven total points for the quarter. He's exuding confidence right now and I'm forced to call him a more athletic B.J. Armstrong right now. Great defender, fundamentally sound, plays within himself at all times. Just Thabo-lous.

Halftime. Bulls 62, Warriors 58.

8:57pm - The second half starts with a quick interview with an anonymous Bulls assistant coach. He says that the coaching staff spent halftime talking about how to attack the Warriors zone (which they presume will be used for the rest of the game). The half starts with the Bulls pushing the ball hard, catching the Warriors before they can set up. Within three minutes they have a 12 point lead and things look like they could get out of hand at any moment.

9:00pm - Tyrus SCREAMS after driving to the lane, drawing the foul but not finishing the three point play. He's got two big dunks in the early going of the second half and as a Bulls fan you absolutely have to love his newfound intensity. He hits both free throws and I ease back in my chair, comfortable for the first time tonight that the Bulls are in control.

Timeout with 7:18 left in the 3rd quarter. Bulls 78, Warriors 64.

9:09pm - The Warriors officially look tired. They are fouling the Bulls everytime down the floor and hurling up shots haphazardly without any of that offensive rebounding moxie they had to start the game. It's starting to look like Victor Khryapa and Malik Allen will be logging big minutes in the 4th quarter.

9:14pm - The Warriors finally switch back to man-to-man about a quarter too late.

Timeout with 2:28 left in the 3rd quarter. Bulls 88, Warriors 67.

9:18pm - Adrian "Old Man" Griffin is blowing by defenders, out hustling guys ten year his younger to loose balls... Golden State has officially checked out and I can't blame them. They are casually launching threes like the Dunleavy/Murphy Warriors of old. All players on both teams are now in cruise control and it shows. A prime example why basketball is the only sport where the college ranks are easily more watchable than their professional counterpart.

9:20pm - This stat flashes at the bottom of the screen: The Bulls are 21 of 24 from the line.

End of the 3rd quarter. Bulls 95, Warriors 69.

9:27pm - Just an astonishing couple of minutes of broadcasting... Red and Stacey spend three minutes discussing whether or not Michael Sweetney is out of shape. They ponder outloud if his weight is the reason that he's not getting more minutes. Um, what the hell is going on here? Is he just big boned? Is his nickname of Sweet Tits not enough proof for these guys? They use the example of Eddy Curry as an "extra-large guy" who still gets minutes because he can produce. Listen, as much as I despise Curry and his all-too-apparent lack of effort, he's a solid scorer. He's a woeful rebounder for his size, but he fills up the basket and that quality will be rewarded with playing time no matter what. Sweetney has all the carriage and desire of Curry with about as much touch as the Rock Biter from The NeverEnding Story.

9:30pm - The Bulls are out rebounding the Warriors 19-5 in the second half.

9:32pm - Sefolosha throws DOWN on the fast break. The Bulls are R-U-N-N-I-N-G right now. Tyrus and Thabo have both tied season (and therefore career) highs for points at 14 apiece. It's a good night to be a rookie in Chicago.

Timeout with 8:55 left in the 4th quarter. Bulls 103, Warriors 71.

9:37pm - The Bulls bench has outscored the Warriors bench 53-11.

9:43pm - Duhon steps in the way of a crosscourt pass and goes in for the uncontested dunk. This sparks two minutes of gushing from Red and Stacey about how Duhon is the ultimate role player. Stacey also informs us that, "Du used to be a big time scorer in high school". Red adds, "He needed to adapt his game to be more of a utility player in college for Coach K". I'm sorry, this has gotta end. Duhon is what he is. He's a back-up NBA guard that occasionally surprises but in no way is an exceptional athlete "reeling it in" for the sake of the team. What is it about this guy that makes everyone a well wisher? It's like hearing a flock of parents at a junior high game lauding each other's children.

Timeout with 2:57 left in the 4th quarter. Bulls 110, Warriors 81.

9:52pm - In the closing minute, the United Center starts chanting "Nocioni!" even though he's in street clothes. He flashes a big grin and gives the peace sign to the crowd. Just a nice moment and a great way to bring this puppy to a close.

Final. Bulls 113, Warriors 83.