The Best of Bowler & Benny: The 2008 Edition

It seems like every December we all subconsciously (or perhaps semiconsciously) slip into a deeper state of self-inquiry. We examine the changes we’ve undergone in the past twelve months, attempt to extract some significance from those observations and then hopefully act on these newly actualized precepts... but in the end, we're more likely to simply eat too much, drink the drinks of the season and wait for the standard “best of the year” lists to roll in.

This has been a solid sophomore campaign for the Bowler & Benny. We’ve added Kurt Dirty, the resident tea sipper extraordinaire. His insights on The Beautiful Game have added a certain sophistication to this space and his contributions are immeasurable. As far as sport, we have been afforded probably the most memorable year in recent memory. The Giants over the Patriots in an epic Superbowl. The Final Four populated by four #1 seeds. Manchester United and Chelsea in an All-EPL Champions League Final. The Lakers/Celtics rivalry renewed. Tiger Woods at his career defining best. The Tampa Bay Rays improbable run. And of course, the 2008 Detroit Lions in all their glory.

Now, I understand that we took a 4-month break between July and November so that takes the luster off the breadth of our 2008 coverage. But really, we got busy. Ben is double dipping with school and work, Dirty is engaged and I’m… well, I’m just lazy. The Cubs and Brewers broke our hearts and Brett Favre made Ben’s ability to do anything beyond chew food and swallow a difficult task (read: limited bathing). Despite this seeming let down, we managed to churn out 46 posts. We’ll take it.

To any new readers, please become a Bowler & Benny supporter by clicking on the link to the right. It would be greatly appreciated.

10.Sean Singletary's Legacy
Monday, March 10, 2008

It’s been a tough season for Mr. Singletary. He was drafted by the Sacramento Kings as the 42nd overall pick and played some impressive summer league minutes (an oxymoron to be sure). Just as he was getting settled, he was traded to Houston on the eve of the season only to be traded a day later to Phoenix. Due to some early injuries to Leandro Barbosa, Singletary got some playing time for about a week in November with a couple serviceable outings. In the past two weeks, he was again traded to Charlotte (on his fourth team before logging his 126th minute of NBA floor time). It’s too early to say anything, after all, there is a precedent of standout Virginia guards taking some time to blossom at the professional ranks. In the end, I know #44 has got the chops to make it if he lands in the right system with the right coach.

9.The Descent of Man
Thursday, January 17, 2008

I love January because even if your boyhood football team hasn’t played a meaningful game in weeks, as a fan you are provided 11 highly pressurized, astutely played, reputation defining playoff games. A token from the football gods for your dutiful commitment to America’s game. However, if you are fortunate enough to have your team still playing, nothing is more important. MLB playoff series are twisting sagas, the NBA playoffs are not exciting until deciding games, but each 60 minute parcel of NFL drama is unmatched. Although the Packers came up short in overtime and Ben’s world has been turned upside down (NFL-wise), his honest hope and raw anxiety still are representations of what January is all about.

8.Tiggy Woo: Movement 2: Adagio
Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Although written 4 ½ months before his historic U.S. Open run, Dirty nails all the reasons why Tiger Woods is entering a truly remarkable period of his career. Some have said that he did “irrevocable damage” to his knee with that gutsy performance at Torrey Pines, however that simply remains to be seen. Although the U.S. triumphed in the Ryder Cup this September without his services causing a slew of idiotic headlines, his legend continues to loom large. His absence from the spotlight is still front page news and our only recourse as golf fans starved for greatness is to crack a beer and let’er rip. In the end, another great post by Mr. Bauer.

7.Dissecting the Evil Empire
Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Due to the misadventures of Charlie Weis and Hank Steinbrenner the Evil Empire has temporarily relocated to Boston. Yep, I’m pretty sure on that one.

6.Every time I meet a new person, I figure out how I'm gonna fight 'em - you have a gimpy left knee, right?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
and
Retrospecticus
Monday, June 2, 2008

I haven't lived in Chicago or frequented the Ginger's Ale House with Kurt Dirty in almost a year. My knowledge and participation in the Reds have suffered drastically, but I still manage to watch every odd Saturday morning on FSC or midweek on ESPN for Champions League action. Here are two bookends, a midseason report and a post season summary of the Liverpool F.C. season by Dirty McLiverbird. I can garuntee that there are fewer knowledgable writers on the subject of their side than Mr. Bauer, a treat even for the non-footy fans.

5.Your 2008 Bracket and the 2007 NCAA Tournament
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
and
Not so Crazy (Elite) Eight
Monday, March 17, 2008

I love when Ben goes Moneyball on us. Enjoy these illuminating posts written on the eve and at the midpoint of March Madness. They will tickle your mind grapes.

4.Cubs v. Brewers - A Running Diary
Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Running Diary is probably my favorite Bill Simmons style of writing. The form is short, largely observational and stylistically open-ended. I find that exploring tangents are the most rewarding aspects of pieces like these. If the Bears somehow sneak by the Vikings and take the NFC North, you can bet that I will commandeer the bourbon and fire up the laptop for another edition. Like splitting aces.

3.A Ridiculous Assumption
Thursday, July 10, 2008

Is it REALLY that ridiculous?

2.The Equivalents
Saturday, February 23, 2008

This is probably my best idea all year, although that’s like picking my favorite Kyle Orton scramble this year. I believe this post will hold up, but my favorite remains the Ice Cube/George Forman comparison.

1.Everything I know about football is wrong
Sunday, February 3, 2008

When you don’t have a horse in the running, sometimes those are the most memorable races. Most recently, the 2004 Red Sox, the 2006 Cleveland Cavaliers over the Detroit Pistons and now, the 2008 New York Giants. I remember driving home the morning after, stunned. The hour-long trip from Richmond to Charlottesville after 3 hours of sleep on my buddy David’s couch, glued to Sportstalk radio, unable to process what it all meant. I got home, fired up the computer and read Ben’s post. An astonishing mile marker in the NFL landscape...
Beautifully.
Fucking.
Illustrated.

Gracias, Mate

Like most Liverpool Supporters, my allegiances lay firmly with the Red Fury of Spain in Euro 2008. With England missing out on the Championships and four Reds making Luis Aragones's squad, the red half of Merseyside was inclined to stand with the perpetual underachievers. Spain had consistently disappointed on the international stage, with no World Cup victories to their name and the last European title coming in 1964. During the qualifying stages and into the knockout rounds, Spain proved that the preeminent status they acquired from pundits and bookies alike for the tournament was well deserved.

Domestically, Spain produce fantastic talent and boast one of the best Football Leagues in the world (La Liga's Primera Division is ranked second by UEFA behind the EPL and in front of Italy's Serie A). With powerhouses like Real Madrid, Barcelona, Deportivo La Coruna, Sevilla, Villareal, and Valencia, La Liga continues to show tremendously in International competitions such as the European Cup (UEFA Champions League) and the UEFA Cup (a competition for clubs unable to qualify for the Champions League). However, domestic supremacy rarely materialized on the international stage for La Seleccion.

The Spanish national side famously showcases players who are both tactically aware and technically astute. But even with tremendously talented players, the national team rarely proved any semblance of dominance over supposedly inferior competition. In the last 44 years (since their only Euro title), they have reached the quarterfinals five times combined in World Cup and European Championships tournaments. Only three times have they appeared in a final, all in the European Championships, with the two victories in '64 and '08.

While they now join elite company as one of only three sides with more than one European Championships title, there still remains some sense of doubt as to what the squad can achieve. After this victory, earned after finally playing to their potential, La Furia Roja will enter the next set of World Cup qualifiers as heavy favorites. This is new territory for a side much maligned as chokers and collapse artists. Even if they do not pull the international double at the next World Cup, this side has put aside the collective knowledge of a dismal past to create their own history. This seemingly impossible task is one the Chicago Cubs anticipate replicating in their own corner of the sporting community.

Hope springs eternal.

Retrospecticus

This season ended trophy-less for Liverpool Football Club. The squad could not overcome some very average performances in the middle part of the season to keep their name in the tight race for the English Premier League title. The Champions League again provided unbelievable drama, as the Reds knocked out Arsenal in an all time classic, but were then dumped from the competition by Chelsea, in yet another semi-final corker between the Reds and Blues. Many have argued that the season was a disappointment because of the lack of silverware. It’s very difficult not to agree with this point. At a club where so much history revolves around triumph after triumph, the heightened expectations felt at the beginning of the campaign resulted in a feeling of failure because of the side's inability to add yet another title to the trophy case. But I am very much an apologist, so here is my list of tremendous achievements by everyone’s favorite Merseyside outfit.

Fernando Torres – The Kid proved himself more than deserving of the kind of dough LFC paid for his transfer from Atletico Madrid, his childhood team. What’s more, he proved he is the kind of player Kopites idolize as legends of this storied club. Torres broke record after record, both club records and national records. His name is now alongside the likes of Robbie Fowler, Ian Rush, Ian St. John, & Roger Hunt in the books of Liverpool F.C. for innumerable achievements such as consecutive home hat tricks, most EPL goals by a Liverpool striker, most consecutive home games with a goal, and one of the most impressive strike records in the books (essentially goals/game, he scored 33 goals in 47 games for the club in all competitions). In breaking so many of the club’s records, he also broke a very distinguished mark for the most goals by a foreign player in his debut season in the EPL. All of these impressive resume builders he achieved WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE PENALTY. Ruud van Nistelrooy held the old record of 23 goals in his first season in English football. Liverpool’s number nine scored 24, netting the final goal during the last match of the season. He’s showed incredible pace with tremendous ball control and an innate ability to bulge the onion bag when given even the slightest opportunity. Add to this his work rate for the team and his desire to play through some rather harsh treatment at the hands of opposition defenses (and the referees for that matter) and the adoration of all Reds supporters is completely justified. Here’s to an even better campaign next season, Nando. My favorite quote from the redandwhitekop.com contributors has to be, “Fernando Torres, turning kopites gay since 2007”.

Martin Skrtel – The main move made during the January transfer window for Rafa Benitez was the record signing (for a defender) of Slovak international Martin Skrtel. Skrtel confirmed the idea that understanding the language and a bedding in period were not prerequisites for success on the pitch. A very astute reader of the game and with speed to boot, Skrtel earned MOTM honors for multiple displays in his new Reds kit. He proved that he could easily match up against some of the best strikers in the world in Europe’s premier club competition (the UEFA Champions League). I am giddy over the idea of having a fit Daniel Agger and the Slovak towering in the Reds’ central defense next season, though it will take some time to get the two youngins well enough acquainted to each other to forego a vet in the back, like Big Sami or Carra. Still, with four centre halfs of this quality, I foresee fewer draws and more victories in tight games next season.

Ryan Babel – Our favorite flying Dutchman really impressed in his first season abroad. The former Ajax prodigy reached double digits in goals and showed a range of talent and strength that has everyone taking notice. Towards the end of the campaign, every team made damn sure there were at least two defenders to cover Babel from cutting inside or all the way to the endline. Unfortunately, a recent injury on international duty (torn ankle ligaments) means that his training regimen for the summer will have to be shelved until he regains full mobility without discomfort. A tremendous debut season in an unfamiliar position (left wing instead of close to the front) just begins to elucidate the potential the young Dutchman displays every time he sets foot on the pitch. Get well soon Ryan, we want you back ASAP so we can begin working on a song that could parallel the kind of excellence we’ve witnessed.

Sami Hyypia – In a season where the young Danish star, Daniel Agger, played only a handful of times due to recurring metatarsal injuries, the unbelievable performances of the aging Finn brought back memories of his time as the captain of LFC. Despite being “over-the-hill” in footy years, the big man made sure to remind Rafa that he’s still got some quality miles left in those older legs. Though a step or two slower than he once was, the veteran’s ability to read the game meant that he rarely let opposition strikers get a clear look at goal. This season further solidified his status as a legend alongside the likes of Alan Hansen, Ron Yeats and Mark Lawrenson. A status which is further explained by his offensive contributions in big matches, such as his quarterfinal header against Arsenal, which drew the Reds level at the time and started them on their way to a memorable victory.

Pepe Reina – Securing his third consecutive Golden Gloves award (for the most clean sheets in the Premier League) should have helped to get him within a shout of the starter’s job on Spain’s international squad. Even though Luis Aragones continues to pick him as the second choice for the international side, there’s no argument about the quality of Liverpool’s number one keeper. Pepe rightfully shares the Golden Gloves award with his squad, as he says the strength of the defense in front of him dictates the quantity and quality of the saves he needs to make. He became the quickest ‘keeper in Liverpool history to record 50 clean sheets (in only 92 games), surpassing Kop idol Ray Clemence’s old tally of 95 games to reach the milestone. Long may Pepe’s dominance between the posts (and under the bar) continue.

Javier Mascherano – Monster Masch has established himself as a core member of the spine of Liverpool Football Club. During the course of this campaign he displayed dogged determination, superb tackling, and a developing passing game just in front of the back four. He has quickly risen to a place alongside some of the best holding mids in the game, like Makelele or Gattuso. On top of all of this, Mascherano signed an extension, keeping him at LFC for, at the very least, four more years.

119 goals – For all those haters out there who claim that Liverpool FC are a boring team to watch, suck on that number. The Reds scored a phenomenal total of 119 goals in all competitions, the best total in England for the season. While I will most certainly concede that LFC are defensive minded, over-generalizing any side’s tendency makes you look like an ignorant fool. Yes, Liverpool do defend resolutely, because if you don’t concede, you can’t lose. However, when six players reach double digits in the goal column, there has to be a great deal of beautiful football being played all around the pitch. And for those who have not seen it, trust me, there is most certainly beautiful footy being played by the red half of Merseyside.

This concludes my first 6 months as footy correspondent. Thanks to everyone for their support and comments. I love this venture. Coming soon - the Teasipper goes Colonial: Totally uninformed and horribly biased views regarding America’s sporting landscape. I can sense you all waiting with bated breath.

I Shouldn't Gloat...but I will

In England this past weekend, the quarterfinal matches of the F.A. Cup were played out on multiple and diverse pitches. For those of us who watched our clubs plummet out of the competition, there seemed little of interest in the fixture list which pitted a couple of championship sides against a pair of remaining Premier League squads, a lower league knockdown-drag out-back-alley style brawl, and an enticing Prem. v. Prem. game which most certainly had our own benny c fluctuating in waves of excitement and dread (that is, if his mild depression of late over the loss of a certain number 4 of the green and gold persuasion had finally abated enough for him to resume normal activity/inactivity). This last match certainly had my attention, as it pitted the bitter rivals of my beloved LFC, Manchester United, against the titans of the south coast, Portsmouth. I had everything going for me in this one, a vested interest on behalf of a buddy and a seething antipathy for their overly-glorified opposition, and at Old Trafford no less. Needless to say, but my affections were overwhelmingly in favor of Pompey, those wacky port-towners.

The game itself was a great watch, despite what so many ignorant footy-haters say about 1-0 matches that are decided late on. There were goal line clearances, superb shots followed by stunning saves, committed defensive displays (which was a bit surprising given some rather lackluster displays by the Portsmouth back line in the League), and plenty of talking points regarding refereeing decisions. In the end, Pompey snuck away victorious and based solely on the match action, the result matched the play on the pitch. This may seem overstated, as United controlled the vast majority of the game, but Pompey’s timely and steadfast defending deserved, at the very least, a clean sheet. Based on the last ditch efforts and the manner in which the Portsmouth defense continued to block shots and attacking moves, they deserved no less than a replay and instead got the bit of good fortune they needed to dispatch the Red Devils on their home pitch for the first time since 1957. The defending was such that no Man of the Match could be singled out from the back line. Instead, the match ball should be shared by Glen Johnson, Sylvain Distin, Sol Campbell, Hermann Hreidarsson, Lassana Diarra, and my favorite name to say, Papa Bouba Diop. Of course, Sulley Muntari does deserve a great bit of credit for finishing a result well earned with yet another powerful, yet coolly taken penalty. Said penalty was earned after former Red, Milan Baros, broke in on goal, only to be felled by United’s back-up keeper Tomasz Kuszczak. While I can agree that this could easily have not been called, United have always seemed to benefit from questionable decisions. For this LFC supporter, the irony and the resulting Alex Ferguson tirade/tantrum, were just too delicious for words. Congratulations to Pompey. The road to the final has been thinned.

This thinning of the top tier of the field was done by Robbie Fowler’s (known simply as God by all Liverpool supporters) new club Cardiff City, who dispatched Middlesbrough fairly competently with two splendid goals; one after some deft maneuvering and a stupendous finish by Peter Whittingham and the other from a dead ball crossed by Whittingham and headed home by Roger Johnson. And these two goals within 25 minutes after kick-off held up, as the Bluebirds sent Boro home nursing a 2-0 defeat. The others of the two Premiership sides to fall at the hands of Championship opposition were the mighty billionaires of Chelsea F.C. They, like the Reds, tumbled out of the competition at the hands of Barnsley (who shall now be known as David, slayer of GoliathS). It was a tough match on an unfavorable pitch at the home of Barnsley, Oakwell Stadium, but there were ample opportunities for the Blues to dispatch the plucky Championship outfit. Just like United however, a wealth of chances resulted in a dearth of goals and now Chelsea find themselves relegated to watching the Cup Final on the tele with the rest of the “Big Four”.

And now I must restate: THIS IS WHY THE F.A. CUP IS THE BEST DOMESTIC CUP COMPETITION IN THE WORLD.

What a great weekend.

The World is Our Oyster (cuz that's literally all it is)

In most of my posts, I’ve been harping on and on (and on and on and on and on) about how Liverpool’s position in the table was not necessarily a true indication of where they could be because, for the better part of this season, they had played one fewer game than their closest competitors. Yesterday evening the Reds got their opportunity to overtake fourth place from local rivals Everton F.C. – which they did by bludgeoning West Ham United. A 4-nil defeat of the Hammers edged Liverpool F.C. just in front of the Toffees on goal differential alone (which grew thanks to the lopsided score-line). It appears as though Liverpool are beginning to find their chemistry and form when it matters most – the stretch run. They have found themselves in the midst of a clusterfuck for the last Champions League place and fighting against a very in form Everton, a consistent Aston Villa side, and a host of others closing in (Blackburn, Manchester City, and even Portsmouth). As the title race heats up, the relegation battle rages, and said rat screw for European berths consolidates, there is a great deal to enjoy during this last quarter of the season.

Now, some examination of Liverpool’s recent hot streak is necessary as it illustrates some of my previous points regarding the overtly lackluster middle portion of this campaign. First, and most importantly, is the sizzling form of Fernando Torres. He recorded a second consecutive hat-trick at Anfield, the first time that has happened for the Redmen since 1946. The post match remarks expounded on his delight and educed his true humility. Nando stated,

“I only learned of the record after the game and it is a big honour for me. This club has a wonderful history so to be a part of that is very special and it is something I am very proud of. But it is also a record for everyone at the club because it would be impossible for me to score goals if it was not for my team-mates, the manager, the coaching staff, everyone. I feel really lucky and also humble to be loved by the crowd but what I would say is that I love them also. They have supported me since I first came to the club and I want to keep on scoring goals for them. The Liverpool fans are special and it is an honour for me to play for them, so if I can make them happy then I will be happy.”

Such genuine reluctance to grab his nuts and say “I know you all want these. Approach softly and caress them lovingly with your tongues!” belies his on-field demeanor. He is a badass who puts himself about – he disrupts the defenders, aggressively pursues any ball which he feels he can win, and punishes defences who feel they may be able to bully him out of the match. Finding a centre forward who: works so hard for the team on defense, pulls men out wide to open up space, or carries himself with such dignity and humility appears nearly impossible in modern sport. Yet, Liverpool F.C. have two such players. Even during a season that could only be described as an absolute howler, by himself to boot, Dirk Kuyt never stopped his renowned engine. ‘Twas a thing of beauty to watch the way the forward four players discomposed the Hammers’ back line during the match Wednesday. Many attribute this kind of high tempo to the way the forwards set about in the early stages of a match, basically alluding to a contagious commitment and sense of purpose. This point may be tough to argue, especially considering the Reds recent consistency in attack has coincided with Dirk Kuyt’s reemergence from the doldrums.

Another important factor in examining the sensational offensive displays of late is Rafael Benitez’s shift from a traditional 4-4-2 formation. Normally, English sides prefer the fairly simple set-up as it covers all aspects of the field and allows for natural two-pronged counter and build-up attacks. However, Rafa has recently employed a slightly more complex 4-2-3-1 because of his wealth in the centre of midfield and seeming lack of depth in the wide areas. Don’t misinterpret me here, I love Yossi Benayoun and Jermaine Pennant, but both lack certain qualities which Dirk Kuyt more completely displays on the right side of midfield. Yossi can finish with the best of them (as evidenced by his multiple hat tricks and other goals) but lacks in defensive awareness and staying wide to cross the ball. Jermaine likewise sometimes displays slipshod defending, but excels in stretching the opposition defense by utilizing the wide spaces and in lobbing crosses into the box as if from a fully automatic foot powered weapon, but rarely scores. Because of this, Rafa is most confident with variations on this lineup:

Reina

Arbeloa/Finnan – Carra/Skrtel – Skrtel/Hyypia – Riise/Aurelio

Alonso/Lucas – Masch/ Lucas

Kuyt/Pennant -- Gerrard -- Babel/Yossi

Torres

In this style of play, Gerrard roams freely in support of Fernando and the wide players as an attacking midfielder. He can interchange with either side, allowing the adept finishers in Babel and Kuyt to push inside and get into scoring postitions. There is a great deal of freedom in this system, but it took some time for most of these players to gain confidence in their own field/play awareness to adopt such a style. Considering the vast majority of this squad is still new to Liverpool F.C., with most only having been at the club for 1-1/2 to 2 years (with some key members in only their first season), it should come as no surprise that implementing a more complex system would take some time. But, from what I can gather, Rafa utilized this system at his previous club, Valencia, to resounding success and had wanted to do the same at LFC. Once he felt the personnel was equal to the task, he set about implementing it, to rave reviews. During their four game win streak they have outscored their opposition 12-3. During this span, less has been made of Rafa’s job security, especially since even the most adamant detractors can plainly see the success of so many of his signings. Young Lucas Leiva has dazzled, Ryan Babel gains more confidence every time he shreds the opposition fullbacks, Martin Skrtel has proved intelligent/aggressive/tactically astute/comfortable in possession, and Fernando Torres has been a revelation in only his first season in English Football, netting 24 times in all competitions after his latest hat trick. Finally, the confidence level swells before the supporters’ eyes. And ‘tis a beautiful thing.

Side Notes: I choose not to touch on all the reports of ownership shifts as this whole mess has been an embarrassment to the club. Whoever ends up with control must understand that there will not be an easy feeling amongst supporters towards the directorship until all the promises of last season’s take-over are made reality, and our beloved club returns to the “Liverpool Way” of staying out of the limelight, off the back pages, and lets the football, records, and trophies speak for themselves.

At the conclusion of last night's match, Steve Gerrard, Gerrard toyed with head referee Steve Bennett by playing keep-away with the match ball before yoinking it and handing it over to Fernando Torres. The joy on both of their mugs was tangible and illustrates their mutual admiration and also their places as two of the world's best. Oh, to be a part of a man-sandwich with those two as the bread.

Also, Adriana Monsalve is adorable and I no longer want anyone but her giving ESPN Deportes Updates regarding footy.

At the end of a storm...

I love the analogy AK used in his previous post. The idea of returning to a place of familiarity, regardless of a change in circumstances, is a great framework for beginning this rather downtrodden post. Unlike the other lads who post here, I get the vast majority of my sporting news from across the pond and often take the temperature of average Scousers through a number of the Liverpool F.C. fan sites, my favorite being redandwhitekop.com. This forum has innumerable songs, contributors, and constantly evolving topics. In fact, this site even has a cat who goes by the tag Another Spanish Fan and constantly translates (in full) text from Spanish newspapers regarding the Reds. In short, it is a main cog in the perpetuation of Liverpool F.C. across the globe, with an emphasis on the Scouse contingent. For a while now, I have found this site to be infinitely enjoyable, especially because the fervor and dedication of the supporters appears in nearly every thread (as does the very distinct Scouse humor). Even during runs of poor form (as has happened on and off since the second month of this campaign) and times of crisis (something very familiar this season) the commitment and passion for the club exploded out of every post, until more recently. I’m not insinuating that every Liverpool supporter exhibits some kind of pragmatic zealousness. In fact this season, just the opposite could be said, especially regarding the last two months. The bilious tone of so many posts leads me to believe that even the Scouse supporters have finally been infected by the over-dramatization of the media’s coverage of Liverpool F.C. And who could blame them. So much of the national coverage aims arrows (more like cruise missiles) at the most decorated club in English football and their upper management. I can only assume this stems from the fact that in the last 19 years, other clubs have finally begun to challenge Liverpool’s unquestioned dominance in the English game.

After falling ass-over-teakettle out of the F.A. Cup, Liverpool’s shattered hopes for a domestic title traumatized the Kop end. But this is the beauty of the competition. I was wholly disappointed (as the Bowler can attest) but, again I will restate, THIS IS WHY THE F.A. CUP IS SO GREAT. In the last three rounds, a lower division team has pushed hard against a supposedly superior squad, but only last week did that superior squad buckle under the pressure. A slew of missed chances and bad luck sealed the Reds’ exit from a competition which was their best chance for glory this season. I did not react well, especially in light of some managerial decisions made on the day. But in the end, all three of the previous squads proved just what this competition is all about. When a lower division squad makes it to the fourth and fifth rounds of the F.A. Cup, they play with a passion and commitment that is usually reserved for the finals, because for them, this is the final. Barnsley (now known as David – Slayer of Goliath) proved just that. They will continue to languish in the bottom half of the Championship, but they will play in the sixth round of the F.A. Cup, yet another “final”. However, the sentiment of the redandwhitekop.com contributors manifested itself in contempt for all those involved in the defeat. I can’t say that I blame them, but after letting off some steam by whacking some golf balls against the back of an enclosed dome, I began to think more coherently on the result. It was awful and embarrassing, but certainly not the only one in the history of English football (see Winners outside the Top Flight and Giant-Killers). Also, the nature of cup competitions has always been used by bitters to detract from Liverpool’s recent successes in both domestic and continental tournaments, because these titles require equal parts of good fortune and one-off displays. These same people will use this defeat as “proof” of Liverpool’s ineptitude, which directly contradicts the argument that the Reds only won the F.A. and European (Champions League) Cups because there is a certain amount of luck involved with winning such a tourney.

I will be the first to admit that this manner of thinking is only slightly consoling after such a massive disappointment. But the season continues, and a passionate and whole-hearted display is necessary today against the giants of the Serie A, Internazionale. Similarly confident responses were evident in a few of the posts on the supporters’ sites. For this reason alone, I, like AK, will continue to peruse that familiar and fond place searching for those pockets of comfort in knowledge (though seemingly more so in my circumstance, in his, its more for derision and ridicule). Probably the best post I read called for the Reclaim the Kop crew to bring back a classic song from the old days. Remember the history, create some history, and sing your hearts out for the man who first brought the Redmen to the grandeur of the European stage – Shankly, Shankly, Shankly, Shankly, Shankly, Shankly, Shankly (sung to Amazing Grace). We shall not be moved, regardless of the situation. We are the best supporters in the world and support the best club. Just look at the records, look at the victories and - Walk on, Walk on, With hope, In your heart, and You’ll Never Walk Alone, You’ll Never Walk Alone. LIVERPOOL! LIVERPOOL! LIVERPOOL!

Summary and Preview: Sport for a teasipper

Tiger Woods played his second tournament in two weeks. Though the most recent tournament was half a world away from the site of his first PGA Tour victory of the season, the result was much the same. Tiger left with another trophy in tow. I’m as shocked as you are! Alright, laying this bit of sarcasm aside, Tiger’s latest triumph came as part of the European Tour’s Middle East swing, in the affluent country of UAE. He started well enough, shooting 65 on his first day and showing no signs of jetlag. The next two days were not as kind to Tiggy, shooting 71 and 73 in some slightly adverse conditions, his first rounds not in the sixties since he traded in his Huggies for big boy Pull-ups. I can’t seem to help myself with this sarcasm, must be the fact that I haven’t seen the sun since…..goddamnit, the fact that I can’t even remember should serve as evidence that my brain is now mush thanks to a lack of essential nutrients produced only after my cocoa brown skin soaks up sunlight like a loofah that absorbs water, yet is never saturated. Enough. Anyways, Tiger finished the tourney with a flourish, shooting a 65 and finishing his final round with a 25 ft. birdie putt. He posted the number and waited as Ernie Els, trailing by one shot after Tiger’s final hole heroics, proceeded to spray his drives all over the desert and, more crassly, crap down his pantleg like the Cubs’ pitching staff in last year’s playoffs. Woods gladly accepted this fat paycheck (along with the “undisclosed” appearance fee) and trophy and hopped his jet back stateside. My question for discussion is this: is Tiggy the best clutch performer in the history of sport? I know, MJ should be in the discussion and so too should Steven Gerrard (and maybe Josh Beckett?), but considering the way he consistently does what’s necessary to either snatch a victory or stave off a charging foe, does anyone really compare, especially when what he does is so difficult (chipping in, long birdie putts, sticking a 3 iron as if it was a pitching wedge)?

Speaking of clutch performers, J.B. Holmes birdied his final hole at the FBR Open in Scottsdale to force a playoff with former Sun Devil and local favorite, Phil Mickelson. On the first playoff hole, Holmes labeled a 359 yard drive over all of the hazards to set up a delicate 72 yard pitch and proceeded to birdie the 18^th again. It was his second birdie on that hole in 45 minutes, after not managing that score in the three previous rounds. What is most impressive, besides that drive, was that he did not play great golf throughout the round. Many players made the push to post a low number and wait for the leaders to falter. Briny Baird put together a hell of a round (and ditched the straw hat, I might add) posting the best round on a day where more than few players went pin-hunting and succeeded in getting some good Sunday rounds under their belts. But it was Holmes who was able to keep a bad round from spiraling out of control, maintaining his position in the hunt for the title right until his putt on the 72nd hole. It was a great showing and a tremendous victory for the basher from Kentucky.

On a whole new subject now, the Reds of Liverpool travel south to London to visit the fortress of the Chelsea F.C. Blues, Stamford Bridge (I know, I can’t help but boo when I hear their name either). The Bridge has proved to be an incredibly difficult ground for any opponents to snag points. As I mentioned in a previous post, Avram Grant has them playing disciplined football, with great defensive presence and awareness. Even without big names like John Terry, Frank Lampard, and Didier Drogba, the Blues are playing a very open and attacking style, while still maintaining said defensive strength. Also, the Blues have yet to lose on their home ground in 77 consecutive matches. These two teams have met on no less than 16 occasions in various competitions over the last 3 years, with the Reds getting the better of Chelsea in two very notable European Cup semi-finals. Earlier this season, Rob Styles was suspended by the governing body of the match officials, after a horrific penalty decision against Liverpool’s Steve Finnan allowed the Blues to sneak off with a grossly undeserved point. The Reds must have vengeance in their minds and fire in their belly if they expect to end the Blues’ home domination. It could only help the confidence of the Redmen if another tie goes to London in either the F.A. or European Cups further down the road (but that is getting a bit ahead). In a very big month which sees Champions League football return to the docket and more F.A. Cup and Premier League clashes to fight through, a big win Sunday would do wonders, pulling Liverpool F.C. out of the slump in form from which they have suffered since ringing in the new year. Unfortunately, the news is that Fernando Torres may not play in Sunday’s fixture after picking up a hamstring injury while on international duty. Hopefully it’s not serious. In their earlier clash, Torres shredded Tal Ben-Haim and placed a beautiful shot around Petr Cech at the Anfield Road end, marking his first goal of many during his first campaign in English football. I was hoping for an even more convincing display this go around. Please be fit for the game Fernando. PLEASE!

As for Portsmouth, a great showing against Chelsea last weekend saw them take their first points off the Londoners in the history of the club. It was a well deserved point, if not a couple points dropped, as new signing Jermain Defoe netted his first for Pompey and could nearly have had a second, but missed on all three of his late game chances. The south coasters have also benefited from the transfer signing of Lassana Diarra, who had a brilliant game against the Blues. His deft touches and powerful shot will certainly thrill the Pompey faithful. The former Chelsea and Arsenal man looks to be a tremendous signing by the men at the top and already has Droopy Dog (Harry Redknapp) glowing over the impact Diarra can make. Throw in the sensational form of Niko Kranjcar, and in spite of the absences of many members of the squad still on African Cup of Nations duty, Portsmouth look to take three points off Bolton Wanderers in their away clash at the weekend. Finally, some good news coming out of Fratton Park for Benny C. Play up Pompey, Pompey play up.

"Every time I meet a new person, I figure out how I'm gonna fight 'em - you have a gimpy left knee, right?"

As “sources” continue to spread their half-truths to the British media, who gobble it up like lamb vindaloo, more pundits are referring to Rafael Benitez as a “dead man walking” or as the commentator of Monday’s draw with Aston Villa put it “wounded man bleeding”. This has spurred many to ask the question, “Is Liverpool Football Club really going to suffer if the manager is changed?” and also, “Is Rafael Benitez really taking this club in the right direction?” My response to both of these questions is an emphatic YES! Not only will the club suffer massively, but Rafael Benitez has done ever so much in the last two seasons to formulate his football ideas and also to find the personnel to carry them out.

More often than not, the contention that Rafael Benitez has not improved the squad is justified through statistics or opinion based on the performance of the squad in parts of a game or in pockets of the season. Some reasonable examination seems necessary at this point.

First of all, many contend that Liverpool’s defense has been getting weaker. Ignoring the injury to Daniel Agger allows this kind of generalization to pervade. Without one of their starting centre-backs, and with an early season injury to Jamie Carragher, Liverpool’s defense ranks second only to the league leaders Manchester United in terms of goals conceded (all this with a 34 year old playing the bulk of the games, including multiple games in a week during cup competitions. This is extremely impressive in a game where 32 year olds are considered “on their last legs” and is a shining example of why Sami Hyypia is already a Liverpool legend). The most improved defensive statistic, in fact the most improved statistic, is the Reds’ away form. Conceding the fewest number of away goals in the league is a tremendous achievement made even more poignant by the fact that Liverpool have only lost two matches in the league this entire season. Only Arsenal outshines them in this category, with Man. U and Chelsea each having suffered three losses away from their respective strongholds (both have yet to suffer a home defeat, however). The most worrying statistic is that Liverpool have failed to defend their home ground in a similar fashion to the Red Devils, Blues, and Gunners. With only one loss at home, they should be in a better position. However the Redmen have drawn six, count ‘em SIX, times at “fortress Anfield”. Indeed, the most disappointing statistic is the number of times LFC have managed only one point from a fixture. They have drawn an astonishing 10 games in total during the Premier League campaign, which explains their current position in the table. This is down to a lack of goal production from the “rest” of the squad.

So far, Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard have accounted for a vast majority of the Reds’ offensive prowess. With young starlet Ryan Babel finding his way around the left wing and often in a substitute role, and Peter Crouch, Dirk Kuyt, and Yossi Benayoun getting the odd goal every now and then, the rest of the squad have accounted for the same number of goals as the MBE, Steven Gerrard. Many attribute this to Rafa’s “defense first” approach to the game. While partially true, other factors expound on this style. For instance, Liverpool have revamped nearly their entire squad at the behest of Benitez and his staff.

Many of these new signings are young players, which explicates both the supposed style and character of the squad. What I mean is, with so many young players in a new country and vastly different pace of play, it is understandable that Rafa would employ defensive tactics first and foremost. Once their defensive roles have been ingrained, the ability to move forward into attacking positions will come more naturally. In a recent interview, John Arne Riise expounded on this fact. He justified his goal drought by saying that he has been focusing almost 90% of training on defending and reading plays as they develop in front of him. If an established veteran is doing so, surely the younger/newer members of the squad are doing the same. As the squad becomes more familiar with their own roles and also their teammates around them, the fluidity of passing moves and the accuracy of the shots will improve drastically. Another factor in all this is how Rafa has ignored price tags on these players and focused their attention on adapting to the English game and perfecting their craft.

An example of this is Ryan Babel. The young Dutchman has impressed in his first season on Merseyside despite playing in the unfamiliar position of left wing, and often in a substitute’s role. During an interview with LFC.TV, Babel was quoted, “"He [Benitez] tells me that even though he paid a lot of money for me I must not think about that. He says I am still young and will improve with time. This is good for me to hear and gives me the confidence that I can train and work without worrying too much. I developed as a striker at Ajax but also have the ability to play as a winger. It is an important part of developing my game and is a good way for me to get minutes on the pitch right now.” This type of player management is reminiscent of the “good ole days” at LFC, when Ian Rush was the record transfer signing from Chester in 1980. When asked about what it was like to have garnered such a high fee, but play only in the reserves for the first season, Rush had great hindsight. He stated that he understood that this development was necessary. It wasn’t just about ability or price tag, but learning the craft of being a footballer. He said the dressing room atmosphere was different, the style was a bit different, and learning to play with members of an already established squad was a bit unnerving at first. Though football has changed significantly since the Welsh wonderboots first donned the Red shirt, these aspects of the game really have not (minus of course some of the ridiculous situations modern footballers put themselves in, i.e. Stan Collymore in the car park, United’s recent “spit roast” incident, or that Rio/ Lampard/ Dyer beer bottle/sex tape incident). Here is a list of the young players (under 26) Rafa has brought in:

• Fernando Torres
  
• Xabi Alonso
  
• Alvaro Arbeloa
• Lucas Leiva
• Ryan Babel
  
• Pepe Reina
• Javier Mascherano
• Jermaine Pennant
• Peter Crouch (who turns 27 on the 30^th of January)
• Daniel Agger
• Martin Skrtel
• Charles Itandje
• Momo Sissoko (whose future with the club is still uncertain)

This group, combined with Fabio Aurelio, Yossi Benayoun, Dirk Kuyt, and Andriy Voronin, make up the vast majority of the current squad, and have all shown promise. Once they have fully settled into the style and the tempo of the English game, they all have the potential to be studs. This is an impressive list of talented and disciplined players, many of whom exemplify quality characters and hard work. These factors should not be overlooked, nor underappreciated in a world where instant results are becoming the standard by which all managers are measured. It took a shitload of time to build some of the “successful” squads so idealized by the British press. United had their core of players already established by the time Rafa took over in ’04, while Liverpool’s squad barely resembles the one he inherited from Houllier’s time. The main point of interest is that this squad has turned many losses into draws, a step forward in my book. While they have conceded some silly goals this season, the defense has often been undermanned and exhausted because of on/off injuries to Steve Finnan, Fabio Aurelio, Daniel Agger, Alvaro Arbeloa, and even the ironman Jamie Carragher (Hyypia even took a few knocks, but missed only one game, if I’m not mistaken).

I, like so many, have been disappointed with the way this squad has dropped points. However, I think looking solely at league statistics and generalizations of the team’s performance does not give an accurate picture of all the external factors. The youthfulness of the squad accounts for so many things. Once acclimated, I see this squad going on to great things. All this nonsense about Rafa being sacked, the owners placing debt on the club, etc. just detracts from and distracts the players. Given some time to adapt to the game and each other, this squad can contend for the league title. Just reference how much closer this squad is to the top than in previous campaigns. In this light of adaptation and education, the ceiling gets higher...nay...is destroyed altogether. This squad needs Rafael Benitez to continue his work developing and strengthening them into what I hope they will be – title contenders every season. Hopefully the owners will not allow their own opinions of the man, Rafael Benitez, to supercede the knowledge that The Boss, Rafa, is most certainly the right man for this job. His record should speak for itself.

Chelsea

2005 Premier League Winners, League Cup Winners, Charity Shield Winners
2006 Premier League Winners, Charity Shield Runners-up
2007 FA Cup Winners Winners, League Cup Winners, Premier League Runners up, Charity Shield Runners-up

6 trophies
3 runners-up spots


Liverpool

2005 European Champions League Winners, European Super Cup Winners,
FIFA Club World Cup Runners-up, League Cup Runners-up,
2006 FA Cup Winners, Charity Shield Winners
2007 European Champions League Runners-up

4 trophies
3 runners-up spots


Manchester United

2005 FA Cup Runners-up
2006 League Cup Winners
2007 Premier League Winners, FA Cup Runners Up, Charity Shield Winners

3 trophies
2 runners-up spots


Arsenal

2005 FA Cup Winners, Charity Shield Runners-up, Premier League Runners-up
2006 Champions League Runners-up
2007 League Cup Runners-up

1 trophy
4 runners-up spots

Side Note: On the topic of youth, Lady’s sister just gave birth this morning to a baby boy. You’ll be pleased to know that although there were some complications, Mama and Baby are doing just fine, though Mama is in some PAAAIIIN (no kidding, right). I’d like to welcome Brayden Cole to this world and tell all of you that he already has a “My First Liverpool Kit” sleeper suit, and a cap and booties with the crest on them (gotta start ‘em young) from his favorite Auntie and his excited Uncle-by-Proxy.

Post-Posting: Let us not forget that Rafa is the brain behind putting Jamie Carragher permanently in the central defensive role, when his predecessor used him more as a utility back. It can be argued that since this change, Jamie Carragher (now over 500 appearances for the club) has gained a reputation as one of the best centre-backs in the WORLD, let alone Europe. Thanks also for that one, Rafa.

"I get the news I need on the weather report, I can gather all the news I need on the weather report."

My abhorrence of the media is now hopelessly apparent.

Deal with it.

The (cropped) running diary from Ginger’s:

8:28 a.m. C.S.T. – The Lady and I grab a booth, kitty corner from our big buddy with the Carlsberg tee (which was obviously going to be a dress on my Lilliputian frame, had I chosen to keep it). From what I can gather his name is pronounced Ya-kee(L ?). He chows on some taters like they’ve done his family wrong and deserve aggressive mastication. He is here, yet again, with the rest of the regulars (a group with which Lady and I are quickly becoming entwined, thanks to the friendly/heavy accent laden questions batted ‘round by our bar matrons), and we are all bundles of nervous anxiety. All that I can say for certain, at this moment, is that I hope the second half of this season has loads of FSC broadcasts at the homestead… for the sake of the indissoluble experience of anxiety, cigarettes, and footy.

9:01 a.m. – Kick-off – Boro get it started.

3 mins. – Nice formation today with John Arne Riise roaming on the left of midfield. Hopefully he can regain some consistent form and bag a few trademark screamers in the second half of this campaign. Good spell from Liverpool, Boro get a corner against the run of play. Over for a goal kick.

8 mins. – Pepe with a couple of “I wanna be a sweeper” moments. Bad/daisy-trimmer clearance.

11 mins. – Corner to the Reds after some midfield exchanges. Short corner, Steve Gerrard, Gerrard moves from left to right at the 18 yard box and uncorks a scalding shot, save by Mark Schwarzer (why is it he always has his best games against the ‘pool?). Another corner to the Reds, Big Sami heads over. Nada.

14 mins. – Mascherano takes one square on the dome from 9.5 yards: he’s dazed, gets some treatment, and may need a blow to regain some semblance of cognizance.

19 mins. – Damn fine save from Pepe after a floated header – flag is up for offside. The appearance of the save, and the fact that he continues to make clearances outside his box lead me to believe he’s spending too much time watching clips of everyone’s favorite Zimbabwean Bruce Grobbelaar.

20 mins. – Tenuous right now, Boro starting to come to life in the attacking sense.

23 mins. – Torres gets his boots in the act - finally. Boro have marked his runs well thus far, staving off any breaks and relegating him to build-up play and headers.

26 mins. – Goal. George Boateng of Boro gets a sliding shot from six yards into an open net. Pepe misjudged the play, attacked an aerial ball at the byline (which he had no chance of corralling), while Tuncay played the header back to the six yard box for an easy captain’s goal.

30 mins. – Robert Huth chips at Fernando’s calves as if doing so will release some German chocolate for him.

33 mins. – Boro look content to sit deep and absorb pressure. The midfield is getting closed down quickly; consequently, there is little crispness to the passing moves.

36 mins. – Yossi Benayoun gets a volley on after a nice spell of pressure. Schwarzer saves, offside flag is up – buggeration.

43 mins. – More dodgy defending from Liverpool. Far offside from Boro.

HALFTIME

Substitution at the beginning of the second half. Arbeloa makes way for Babel, J.A.R. moves to the more familiar left back position.

47 mins. – Javier Mascherano with a great ball, then, after a mistake by Riise, makes a tremendous tackle to spoil a Boro counter. Riise’s bad form shows little chance of abating at this moment.

54 mins. – Boro continue to exploit the right side of the Reds defense with great success – is Yossi playing too close to the front? Indubitably.

57 mins. – Babel works hard and earns a corner, then unleashes a scorcher just past Schwarzer’s left-hand post.

66 mins. – Downing rips a shot from about 17 yards and Pepe gets a finger on the ball, sending it careening off of the keeper’s best friend (his left-hand post). Dodged a bullet there, literally (maybe not quite literally).

71 mins. – GOAL!!! Torres with a screamer sending the pub into exultation. I tell Lady its official now, I am gay for Fernando Torres. She seems relieved by this statement. But why?

76 mins. – Nice spell to keep the pressure on the compact Middlesbrough defense. Great low shot from Babel – so close yet again.

87 mins. – Steve Gerrard, Gerrard from about 35 yards, pushed over the crossbar from Schwarzer.

90 mins. – Hyypia heads down to the keepers right, fine save to keep it level. Damn you Mark Schwarzer.

90 + mins. – Steve Gerrard, Gerrard tries to place one across the face of goal to the left side of Schwarzer, just not to be.

FULL TIME – goddamn it. ANOTHER GOD FORSAKEN DRAW. At least the Redmen scored at the Riverside for the first time in five years. At the very least.

As for the rest of the weekends fixtures, some promising turns of events and some horrifying statements to make.

Arsenal v. Birmingham City – 1:1

A great result as Liverpool simply could not afford to drop further back in the standings. It’s a blow for the Gunners after a bright start through an Adebayor penalty. They had not dropped points after an Adebayor goal yet this season. Thank heavens this was not the case today. It was a very lively match, and elucidates the reason the EPL is so much fun to watch, as any team can beat another on their day.

Aston Villa v. Reading – 3:1

Villa continue to impress under American ownership and the seemingly brilliant coaching of Martin O’Neill. A brace from John Carew, and yet another goal from a corner for the Big Dane, Martin Laursen, secured three more points for a Villa squad pushing for European qualification. They have scored more goals from set pieces than any other Premiership side. The bad news for me is that this result pulls them level on points with Liverpool.

Chelsea v. Tottenham Hotspur – 2:0

Chelsea continue their form under new manager Avram Grant, and maintain pressure on the top two. Another victory leaves them just four points clear of the top spot. Juliano Beletti uncorked a blazing shot from 30 yards, and Shaun Wright Phillips continued his sizzling form with a late sealer to prolong the Blues’ impressive 75^th straight unbeaten match at Stamford Bridge. However, newly signed (for a whopping 15 mil. pounds) Nicolas Anelka could not find the back of the net; the deep pockets of Roman Abramovich will continue to add depth to an already loaded squad (beset by injuries to some key players, mind, but still getting results). This is becoming a three horse race at the top, with Liverpool falling deeper into the mire. Looks like its suicide again for me.

Derby County v. Wigan Athletic – 0:1

Honestly, who cares other than the home support (and even then “care” is a relative term). The relegation battle for these sides will continue through to the end of the season, with Derby’s ticket down to the Championship all but stamped.

Everton v. Manchester City – 1:0

The blue portion of Merseyside had a good day, thanks to Joleon Lescott’s first half strike. The victory draws them level on points with Liverpool. Things are crowded for that fourth spot and Champions League qualification, as the teams from fourth to seventh are all level on points and separated only by goal differential. The dropped points by Man. City keep them on the same number and send them into that seventh spot. God help us all if Everton manage to keep the pressure on Liverpool through April and into May. Anytime I see some blue, I may get stabby.

Middlesbrough v. Liverpool – 1:1

DAMN IT! Liverpool are being traduced as a team that may not even qualify for the Champions League. This is a disgusting thought, and one based solely on many pundits’ desire to see the Reds flailing. They still have a game in hand on any team above or below them in the standings (minus, of course, their opponent for said game, West Ham, who find themselves moderately adrift), so the table is a bit misleading, as are some comments from either illiterate or just plain daft muppets (mainly the Super Sunday Plus crew, comprised of Andy Houlihan, Christian Miles (I often wonder aloud, whose hand is up his pooper manipulating that gob?), and the bitter ex-QPR man, Gary Richards. I envisage their broadcast associate, and staunch Liverpool supporter Keith Costigan, leaving a fresh, steamy pile on their keyboards or lending some of his special brand of Irish “seasoning” to their tea for their blatant defamation of the beloved Reds). For Boro, the result continues a strong run against the best competition and raises questions about the lack of results against the lower half of the league (wherein they find themselves).

West Ham United v. Fulham – 2:1

Dean Ashton and Anton Ferdinand secured three points for the Hammers and pushed Fulham further into the relegation fight. It started brightly enough for the Cottagers of Fulham, but constant pressure from United forced goalkeeper Anti Niemi to earn his pay. It probably should have been more one-sided, in favor of West Ham, if not for the heroic, and often acrobatic, keeping from the Finn. Ashton alone peppered the visitor’s goal as if taking target practice and could nearly have had a brace, if not more, for his efforts. Both of these squads, like so many others, find themselves wearing the Sock and Buskin at stages of each match they play.

Sunderland v. Portsmouth – 2:0

Roy Keane’s Sunderland team took three much needed points off a Pompey side embattled by reports of coach Harry Redknapp (henceforth known simply as Droopy dog) being linked with a vacancy at the helm of Newcastle United, and heavily weakened by the African Cup of Nations. Sunderland got both goals from former Manchester United man Kieran Richardson, one off a poor pass from the Pompey midfield, the other when Sol Campbell left a ball for the byline, only to have it kept in play by Sunderland’s Kemwyne Jones. He skittered a pass back to Richardson, who could not miss. Pompey must get back into the form that had them contending for that coveted European berth. Otherwise, Benny C may have to traipse across the pond and put some fight in the side via his own moxie and fists. Huh. That doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

Bolton Wanderers v. Blackburn Rovers – 1:2

The Lancashire derby is rarely a dull one, as two very physical sides beat the ever-lovin’ sh*t out of each other in an attempt to assert defensive dominance on their local rivals. This was certainly an enjoyable match, with Kevin Nolan striking first on a gorgeous wonder-volley across the face of goal. Christopher Samba drew the sides level from a corner with a good header and Jason Roberts stole the match in the dying moments for a Rovers side desperate to stop the slide down the table. Roberts’s run was strong and purposeful, and his finish was as cool as they come (though it did take a slight deflection). Wanderers need to up their game if they intend on staying in the top flight, especially after Nicolas Anelka made the big money move to Chelsea, and with El-Hadji Diouf and Abdoulaye Meite away at the African Cup of Nations. They must string some wins together to get out of the logjam near the relegation zone.

Manchester United v. Newcastle United – 6:0 (Pfffftttt!!!)

Newcastle’s sub-standard performances have cost Sam Allardyce his seat at the helm of the Toon. For the first half, Newcastle looked a decent side, absorbing the constant pressure from the Red Devils and escaping some close calls, thanks in large part to their keeper and some rather fortunate non-calls by referee Rob Styles (not so much for the fact that they should have been called, but rather because it was Manchester United, who often get the rub of the green from the officials). Towards the end of a scoreless first half, the Red Devils should have gone down 1-0, as Michael Owen broke clear behind the defense, only to be flagged for a non-existent offside. The replay was clear as day, and the Devils got lucky on that occasion. After that bit of fortune, the second half came and went with six goals for Manchester United: a hat trick for Cristiano Ronaldo (his first in English football), a brace from Carlos Tevez, and a fine volley from Rio Ferdinand right inside the post. The Geordies never stood a chance after the second half began. The victory placed Manchester United atop the standings on goal differential, but level on points with Arsenal. It was a display that showed their intent to snag the Premier League title for the second season in a row, and reminded me of the gap in quality (at the moment) between the top and Liverpool.

I feel filthy.

I need a shower.