Retrospecticus

This season ended trophy-less for Liverpool Football Club. The squad could not overcome some very average performances in the middle part of the season to keep their name in the tight race for the English Premier League title. The Champions League again provided unbelievable drama, as the Reds knocked out Arsenal in an all time classic, but were then dumped from the competition by Chelsea, in yet another semi-final corker between the Reds and Blues. Many have argued that the season was a disappointment because of the lack of silverware. It’s very difficult not to agree with this point. At a club where so much history revolves around triumph after triumph, the heightened expectations felt at the beginning of the campaign resulted in a feeling of failure because of the side's inability to add yet another title to the trophy case. But I am very much an apologist, so here is my list of tremendous achievements by everyone’s favorite Merseyside outfit.

Fernando Torres – The Kid proved himself more than deserving of the kind of dough LFC paid for his transfer from Atletico Madrid, his childhood team. What’s more, he proved he is the kind of player Kopites idolize as legends of this storied club. Torres broke record after record, both club records and national records. His name is now alongside the likes of Robbie Fowler, Ian Rush, Ian St. John, & Roger Hunt in the books of Liverpool F.C. for innumerable achievements such as consecutive home hat tricks, most EPL goals by a Liverpool striker, most consecutive home games with a goal, and one of the most impressive strike records in the books (essentially goals/game, he scored 33 goals in 47 games for the club in all competitions). In breaking so many of the club’s records, he also broke a very distinguished mark for the most goals by a foreign player in his debut season in the EPL. All of these impressive resume builders he achieved WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE PENALTY. Ruud van Nistelrooy held the old record of 23 goals in his first season in English football. Liverpool’s number nine scored 24, netting the final goal during the last match of the season. He’s showed incredible pace with tremendous ball control and an innate ability to bulge the onion bag when given even the slightest opportunity. Add to this his work rate for the team and his desire to play through some rather harsh treatment at the hands of opposition defenses (and the referees for that matter) and the adoration of all Reds supporters is completely justified. Here’s to an even better campaign next season, Nando. My favorite quote from the redandwhitekop.com contributors has to be, “Fernando Torres, turning kopites gay since 2007”.

Martin Skrtel – The main move made during the January transfer window for Rafa Benitez was the record signing (for a defender) of Slovak international Martin Skrtel. Skrtel confirmed the idea that understanding the language and a bedding in period were not prerequisites for success on the pitch. A very astute reader of the game and with speed to boot, Skrtel earned MOTM honors for multiple displays in his new Reds kit. He proved that he could easily match up against some of the best strikers in the world in Europe’s premier club competition (the UEFA Champions League). I am giddy over the idea of having a fit Daniel Agger and the Slovak towering in the Reds’ central defense next season, though it will take some time to get the two youngins well enough acquainted to each other to forego a vet in the back, like Big Sami or Carra. Still, with four centre halfs of this quality, I foresee fewer draws and more victories in tight games next season.

Ryan Babel – Our favorite flying Dutchman really impressed in his first season abroad. The former Ajax prodigy reached double digits in goals and showed a range of talent and strength that has everyone taking notice. Towards the end of the campaign, every team made damn sure there were at least two defenders to cover Babel from cutting inside or all the way to the endline. Unfortunately, a recent injury on international duty (torn ankle ligaments) means that his training regimen for the summer will have to be shelved until he regains full mobility without discomfort. A tremendous debut season in an unfamiliar position (left wing instead of close to the front) just begins to elucidate the potential the young Dutchman displays every time he sets foot on the pitch. Get well soon Ryan, we want you back ASAP so we can begin working on a song that could parallel the kind of excellence we’ve witnessed.

Sami Hyypia – In a season where the young Danish star, Daniel Agger, played only a handful of times due to recurring metatarsal injuries, the unbelievable performances of the aging Finn brought back memories of his time as the captain of LFC. Despite being “over-the-hill” in footy years, the big man made sure to remind Rafa that he’s still got some quality miles left in those older legs. Though a step or two slower than he once was, the veteran’s ability to read the game meant that he rarely let opposition strikers get a clear look at goal. This season further solidified his status as a legend alongside the likes of Alan Hansen, Ron Yeats and Mark Lawrenson. A status which is further explained by his offensive contributions in big matches, such as his quarterfinal header against Arsenal, which drew the Reds level at the time and started them on their way to a memorable victory.

Pepe Reina – Securing his third consecutive Golden Gloves award (for the most clean sheets in the Premier League) should have helped to get him within a shout of the starter’s job on Spain’s international squad. Even though Luis Aragones continues to pick him as the second choice for the international side, there’s no argument about the quality of Liverpool’s number one keeper. Pepe rightfully shares the Golden Gloves award with his squad, as he says the strength of the defense in front of him dictates the quantity and quality of the saves he needs to make. He became the quickest ‘keeper in Liverpool history to record 50 clean sheets (in only 92 games), surpassing Kop idol Ray Clemence’s old tally of 95 games to reach the milestone. Long may Pepe’s dominance between the posts (and under the bar) continue.

Javier Mascherano – Monster Masch has established himself as a core member of the spine of Liverpool Football Club. During the course of this campaign he displayed dogged determination, superb tackling, and a developing passing game just in front of the back four. He has quickly risen to a place alongside some of the best holding mids in the game, like Makelele or Gattuso. On top of all of this, Mascherano signed an extension, keeping him at LFC for, at the very least, four more years.

119 goals – For all those haters out there who claim that Liverpool FC are a boring team to watch, suck on that number. The Reds scored a phenomenal total of 119 goals in all competitions, the best total in England for the season. While I will most certainly concede that LFC are defensive minded, over-generalizing any side’s tendency makes you look like an ignorant fool. Yes, Liverpool do defend resolutely, because if you don’t concede, you can’t lose. However, when six players reach double digits in the goal column, there has to be a great deal of beautiful football being played all around the pitch. And for those who have not seen it, trust me, there is most certainly beautiful footy being played by the red half of Merseyside.

This concludes my first 6 months as footy correspondent. Thanks to everyone for their support and comments. I love this venture. Coming soon - the Teasipper goes Colonial: Totally uninformed and horribly biased views regarding America’s sporting landscape. I can sense you all waiting with bated breath.

"The only thing you can trust in a British newspaper is the date." "I'd even double check that, mate."

I'll get to that in a short while, but first:

The PGA tour began in traditional fashion last week, on the Hawaiian swing. In terms of a first tournament, I could not have asked for more. There was; a four hole playoff between last year's come-back manchild Steve Stricker and up-and-comer Daniel Chopra, the incredible layout of Kapalua's Plantation Course, uke strumming galore, and innumerable shots of spawning whales playing in the surf. All of this glorious-ness greeted a soul starved (if only mildly) for some PGA tour coverage and ... (Briny Baird is still alive? huh. and he continues to wear those ridiculous Byron Nelson style straw hats...damn, that was a helluva two from the fairway there, especially from a walking corpse)... palm trees. A great start to the new season.

As it is abundantly clear, I am currently catching the first round of the Sony Open at Waialae. Last season, this tournament produced a story worthy of a Disney Company film. Tadd Fujikawa, the wee man from Oahu, became the youngest player to make the cut at a tournament in 50 years. He accomplished this feat as an amateur, at the tender age of 16, and the diminutive stature of 5'1'' tall. Anyone who saw him drain that eagle putt on the 18th to secure his spot for the weekend could not help but fist pump right along with him. In the modern game, what he did was astronomically improbable. As he strides out on the course today, the delirious crowds will certainly give him the welcome he deserves after an almost clinical display on a very difficult course at this time last season (and in spite of a less than stellar first round this year). Good luck to him as he begins his first full season as a professional.


Side note: They just showed a slow-mo comparison of the swings of two of the biggest bashers on tour, J.B. Holmes and Bubba Watson. I might just willingly give a few digits, or one of the berries to smack the ball some 316 yards on average, or in this case (from Bubba) 338 (not a misprint) 338!!! mother-truckin' yards. Just a thought.

Now on to my true love (sorry Lady - I mean in sporting terms), Liverpool Football Club. After such a glowing introduction by the Whiskey Bowler, there may be some disappointment over my first contribution beginning with PGA talk. I'd like to say the previous discussion was necessary because I am so overtly excited about a new golf season. This is simply a partial truth, as my disgust over recent results has left me feeling hollow, and left my wall in need of some spackling. Another below standard performance at Anfield - against lowly Wigan Athletic - and an F.A. Cup 3rd round draw at lower division Luton Town have given the supporters some (warranted) concern. This is where the title of this piece enters the fray.
These horrifying results have given the British press enough fodder to begin another round of "sacking" talk with regards to our beloved Rafael Benitez (in Homer form on my profile), and also to essentially disregard Liverpool as title contenders come May. That last bit is a hard pill to swallow. Especially when you consider the fact that, at this point in previous seasons, the points deficit between Liverpool and the top team was considerably greater than the current state, where Liverpool find themselves 12 points back, but with a game in hand (in the '05-'06 season they were short of Chelsea's mid-season total by some 30 odd points, and similarly (hopelessly) adrift of Manchester United's point totals last season at the halfway point). This gives the supporters a sliver of hope that a long awaited League title may still be possible, though implausible (especially when the top two squads, Arsenal and Man. U. look to be in control at the moment). Inevitably, the press have used this run of form to; begin anew discussions about Rafa's strained relationship with ownership, print some bollocks from a "friend" of Rafa who says the man thinks his days are numbered, continue sandbagging a club in need of some good news this season, yadda, yadda, b.s, b.s. All I can say for sure, is that letting go of a man who has had more success in his first 3 seasons than the two managers currently atop the standings enjoyed at their clubs in comparable time, would be a disaster of Chernobyl-esque proportions (but with less death and disfigurement - there would be some, just not quite so awful). This is made even more poignant by the good news that follows.
Today, at Anfield, 23 year old defender Martin Skrtel (pronounced skur-tell (accent the last bit)) completed a deal to move from Zenit St. Petersburg to Liverpool Football Club. The defender is big, tough, and aggressive, and a welcome addition to an aging back line, weakened by the injury of the impressive Dane, Daniel Agger. This injury had left the club in desperate need to find someone to give the aging, yet still profoundly active, Sami Hyypia some much needed respite. From what I can gather, Rafa was a huge influence on making this deal, and the Slovakian defender said as much during his introductions. The club paid a record fee (for a defender) to make this move, and the question becomes, why make such a splash for the manager if he may not be around much longer? The answer should be simple. The American ownership would not spend such dough (somewheres in the realm of 6.5 mil. pounds) if indeed they were choosing to retool the management at the end of the season, because such an overhaul would require funds being spent for the new manager's aquisitions. Let's pray this blatant hopefulness on my part is in fact reality. The club needs some stability after the acquisition last year by the Americans.

Speaking of stability, Xabi Alonso has been making his way back into the side, after two metatarsal injuries earlier in the campaign. If he makes a start against Middlesbrough at the Riverside on Saturday, it would be his 100th appearance for the club. This would make him the first Spaniard in the illustrious history of LFC to reach the century mark. Considering his signing was the work of Rafa, and the young Spaniard has quickly gained status as one of the best passers in the game, yet another reason for Benitez's continued reign becomes clear.

At present, there are excessive off-the-pitch questions, some injury concerns, and permeating fear in the ranks of the supporters about the most popular manager since King Kenny. Because of all this, I hesitate to prognosticate anything. Making matters worse is the fact that the Riverside has been a house of horrors for the Redmen in recent times. I will make my way for the essential pub appearance to watch it live, entrenched beneath the enourmous LFC flag, with a developing ulcer and a nicotine fix that could drive an elephant mad (but must wait for the half, thank you very much fascist health nuts), and visualize a victory. Hopefully, Fernando Torres (with whom the Lady is competing for my affections) will make this vision reality and assuage some of my concerns, if only for the rest of the day. She could really use a good date night (much deserved, I might add, after recent illness and craptacular work hours) and some peace of mind regarding the safety of the bones in my hand. Though if he does score, it may be the final nail in my straight coffin, as i would most certainly go gay for Nando....lets hope.