Brewers as NL Champs? That's just like, your opinion, man.

The Cubs (not the Brewers) will represent the National League in the Fall Classic this year. Mark it, Dude.


People assume that Cubs fans are highly superstitious and thus highly guarded in their proclamations of superiority (albeit seasonal). Many of the Wrigley faithful groaned as Bernie Mac sung “root, root, root for the cha-amps” during the 7th inning stretch at Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS with the Cubs holding a 3-1 lead. Obviously that was a social gaffe because putting the cart in front of the horse, especially in such a highly charged situation lacks tact and understanding. However, had the whole Bartman/Prior/Gonzalez meltdown never occurred, no one would even remember that momentary slip of common sense. The way things actually happened, the exquisitely painful series of events that unfolded triggers many drunken blue-capped ladies and gentleman to work themselves into a foamy lather regarding one diabolical curse. The motives of the hands are unknown to us, but the devices He uses are iconic: a billy goat in ’45, a black cat in ’69, Leon Durham’s wickets in ’84, a grabby baseball nerd in ’03. Last month Dirty and I were sitting against the left field wall just a caps toss away from the Bartman seat (which has a sticker on it so people know which one to pose in for pregame pictures) and as the innings went on and the beers piled up, I had to consciously remind myself to dive out of the way if a pop fly was hit in my direction with the Cubs in the field. While I understand this isn’t an advanced concept, my head was a little fuzzy with Old Style and split second decisions in that state usually amount to some awkward lunge at the ball on my part. But now, I must be forever aware of Moises Alou patrolling the outfield lest I somehow in manage to interfere and end up on Sportscenter as “a typical idiot Cubs fan”. Those are the everyday realities of the Northsider and probably why most outsiders looking in share a mixture of sympathy and disgust. Sympathy at the perennial losing, disgust at how trivial this “badge of worry” attitude all seems. Well, for this post, I’m shelving all that cautious crap and making a brief argument for the leaders in the clubhouse at the turn, the 2008 Chicago Cubs for the NL pennant.



Possible rotation for an NLDS - Game 1: Zambrano, Game 2: Harden, Game 3: Dempster, Game 4: Zambrano, Game 5: Harden. Just a week ago I wrote how the C.C. Sabathia trade was an intimidating pick-up, luckily that feeling only lasted 24 hours. If we stay healthy at the top of our rotation, nobody can beat our starters – Not the Brewers. Not the Diamondbacks. Nobody.



Two ROY candidates and All-Stars starters in Kosuke Fukudome and Geovany Soto. Not since Jerome Walton and Dwight Smith going one-and-two in the Rookie of the Year balloting in 1989 has Chicago been more juiced up about a pair of newcomers.

The Cubs have a MLB leading run differential of +108 while the Cardinals (+18) and Brewers (+12) are distant also-rans in the category. Since the Cubs are only 5.5 and 6 games up respectively, one could intuit that multiple blowouts and difficulty with one run games are the cause. However, the Cubs are a touch above .500 (15-14) in one run contests. The Cardinals (19-16) and Brewers (19-10) have faired a little better, but I feel that these statistics rest in favor of the Cubbies. Whenever you are x10 better than other teams at something as elemental to the outcome of games as runs scored/runs conceded then the dam will eventually break.

Reason #341 why the Brewers won’t win the NL pennant in 2008: Eric “The 10 million dollar man” Gagne in his fourth appearance since coming off the DL on July 12th:

1.0 IP, 27 pitches, 4 hits, 4 runs, 4 ER, 2 HR, 1 K



Not since Rick Mirer has there been the potential for such a handsomely paid benchwarmer.

The Brewers have crumbled before and they have lasted thus far grit, moxie, homeruns and Ben Sheets. I know, I know, Manny Parra is a nice little story. Ditto Corey Hart in all his beer soaked glory. But in the end, it’s Fielder and Braun and little else. Wrigley Field boasts six batters with over 300 ABs and at least .370 OBP (Theriot .396, Ramirez .387, Fukudome .384, DeRosa .378, Lee .371, Soto .370). The Brewers? Zero. The closest is J.J. Hardy with 303 ABs and a .356 OBP.

The Brewers are a nice story, but the team to beat is that way for a reason. And this year, in light of this new shit, well, I rest my case.

"Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?"

A Ridiculous Assumption

An Essay on why I truly believe Lou Piniella is being darted with sedatives by the Cubbie Brass

The Bowler and I have had innumerable discussions regarding sporting topics ranging from hilarious names (see God Shammgod, Siphiwe Tshabalala, et al.) to song parodies, and even as far as actual nitty-gritty statistical analyses (the most absurd topic of the three mentioned, I know). However, the one discussion that remains a running joke, whilst also maintaining a certain credibility, is how we both believe the Cubs' front office utilizes blow guns to sedate the often feisty manager of our beloved Cubs.

While Sweet Lou ages, as with most people, he appears to mellow significantly. But, during his previous stint as Tampa's coach, the difference between his temperament in the same role at the other ballclubs was negligible at best. After his hiatus from the bench, Piniella came to the North Side in a flurry of press and excitement. Already he showed a calm outward demeanor, only rarely trumped by his famous temper during his first season in charge of the Cub. Is the time and place in which this phase of his life finds him responsible for this diametric shift in personality/temperament?

While this could certainly play a part, I believe studying the physical, emotional, and perceptual faculties of the man might lead to a more surprising conclusion: Lou Piniella is being darted with a fairly significant sedative by the Cubbie Brass. It seems to be a systemic push, with no single member of the front office responsible for tranq-ing the man on a regular basis. It's more of a, "Lou's looking a little wired" (Phoot, goes the blow gun, delivering a hefty dose of animal tranquilizer through an almost imperceivable missile), "That should keep him on an even keel."

The effects are obvious, and those of us who have listened to the full gamut of pre, post, and in-game conversations with Sweet Lou can notice when and in what quantity the old dawg receives a dose of pacification juice. Of course the glassy eyes and stammering speech in pregame press meetings allude to some level of sedation. However, there are other indicators. Occasionally he can be found sating his sweet tooth with some candies (licorice, tootsie rolls, etc) during these interviews. Its not just the craving itself, but the almost childish glee apparent on his mug whilst masticating the processed sugar treats. This fact, when coupled with the very elongated "um's" and "uh's" that he peppers throughout his speeches, begin to elucidate the origins of this essay and our reason for believing such actions are in fact taking place.

Of course, the manner of speech and heightened sweet tooth could also be related to Sweet Lou's getting on in age (and may allude to any number of factors from the good ol' days of baseball when everyone was doping in one way or another, be it by amphetamines, cocaine, or various other devious means). However, the lethargic movements of both mind and body in pregame press conferences make little sense. He couldn't be tired already, he just got there. So why, then, are his reflex actions (like blinking, swallowing) affected? His blinking slows to a point of almost pausing, his mouth sometimes works more like an old school nutcracker (as if controlled by a primitive lever system), he sways quite noticeably, and will occasionally zone out, mid sentence. All of these factors more than account for my belief in an external agent pacifying Lou Piniella.

The kicker is that on more than one occasion, while the Bowler and I sat watching a game, a very fiery manager in the beginning of the contest would give way to a very relaxed and ponderous coach as the game wore on, regardless of circumstances (be it in a close game, a blow-out, being blown out). Could they possibly be darting him in the midst of a game? Absolutely yes, especially as the big wigs of the Cubs organization would have multiple angles and vistas from which they could unleash a barrage of dipped darts. The true indicator would be if they over-medicated him, causing a sheer collapse in consciousness. My hope is that there is enough communication at the top to realize the dire consequences of overestimating the rate at which Lou's older body metabolizes the sedatives. We all appreciate what he's done in last season and a half, and would hate to lose him for any period of time for health reasons, especially in relation to being controlled like a semi-trained grizzly.

I can't be assured of anything, but what I do know is that we as Cubs fans have been treated to a couple of very amusing blow-ups, but nothing approaching the kind of demeanor that landed Lou Piniella the facetious nickname "Sweet Lou". My hope is that the Cubbie brass will not over-control the man, but rather continue with their campaign of passive aid. If it ain't broke.


NOTE: This article is in no way a serious examination of the practices mentioned. While we all acknowledge that a regimen of sedatives delivered via blow darts is highly improbable, it remains possible.

Mr. Sabathia pitches for Brats and Beer

It’s been six weeks leading up to this column. It’s been quite a nice respite, because the kid has been working hard and enjoying the summer. I flew back for the Cubs sweep over the White Sox at Wrigley. Dirty and I witnessed a nine-run inning almost exactly a year to the day after we witnessed “The Aramis Game” so that's some good mojo there. I moved into my new place and got a new set of golf clubs. I’m going to be a groomsman in my boy Kanedawg’s wedding next month. The Bulls picked Derrick Rose and I couldn’t be happier about that fact. I’ve been gone from these pages for a while because my life has been a good, healthy, honest busy. But tonight, I really felt compelled to write about something... so now, I fear the worst…

It’s basically official that C.C. Sabathia will be a Brewer for the rest of the season. The Brewers, in the past 6 weeks have gone from 4 games under .500 (and 6 games back) to 10 games over .500 (and 3.5 games back). Over that same span, the Cubs have gone 24-15 and LOST 2.5 GAMES in the NL Central.

Alright, I know the Cardinals are still in the mix, but excuse me for not taking them seriously. The odds of Kyle Lohse, Braden Looper, Todd Wellemeyer, Adam Wainwright and Joel Pineiro keeping this type of production going during a stressful September is remarkably low. Here are their K/9 rates so far and tell me I’m wrong: 4.49, 4.15, 6.68, 6.09, 4.76. Those numbers are telling me that a ton of things are going right for them in the field. We’ll see though.

The Brewers, however, terrify me. They have basically exclaimed that they are making a charge for this year. Matt LaPorta was their right fielder for the future and they shipped him off for 12 weeks from the 2007 AL Cy Young winner. The Sheets/Sabathia combination is frightening down the stretch, but even more frightening for Benny should be the prospect of both of them being free agents at the end of the year. Outside of the Rays, nobody has a deeper farm system and I could see them going for broke and picking up another solid middle reliever before the deadline. Basically, with this move, they are telling the rest of the NL Central, "It's on. Act accordingly."

The Cubbies have gone 6-8 in Big Z’s absence but now he’s back and winning baseball games. Soriano should be getting back shortly after the All-Star break and the wheels continue to turn. I’m anticipating another furious finish similar to last year where the victor won’t be decided until the final weekend of the season. However, unlike last year, I feel like second place in the NL Central will be good enough to play into October. I'm trying to wrap my head around this pennant chase during the Olympics and NFL tune-ups and quite honestly, I'm already losing sleep.

Mahalo. It's good to be back.

Gracias, Mate

Like most Liverpool Supporters, my allegiances lay firmly with the Red Fury of Spain in Euro 2008. With England missing out on the Championships and four Reds making Luis Aragones's squad, the red half of Merseyside was inclined to stand with the perpetual underachievers. Spain had consistently disappointed on the international stage, with no World Cup victories to their name and the last European title coming in 1964. During the qualifying stages and into the knockout rounds, Spain proved that the preeminent status they acquired from pundits and bookies alike for the tournament was well deserved.

Domestically, Spain produce fantastic talent and boast one of the best Football Leagues in the world (La Liga's Primera Division is ranked second by UEFA behind the EPL and in front of Italy's Serie A). With powerhouses like Real Madrid, Barcelona, Deportivo La Coruna, Sevilla, Villareal, and Valencia, La Liga continues to show tremendously in International competitions such as the European Cup (UEFA Champions League) and the UEFA Cup (a competition for clubs unable to qualify for the Champions League). However, domestic supremacy rarely materialized on the international stage for La Seleccion.

The Spanish national side famously showcases players who are both tactically aware and technically astute. But even with tremendously talented players, the national team rarely proved any semblance of dominance over supposedly inferior competition. In the last 44 years (since their only Euro title), they have reached the quarterfinals five times combined in World Cup and European Championships tournaments. Only three times have they appeared in a final, all in the European Championships, with the two victories in '64 and '08.

While they now join elite company as one of only three sides with more than one European Championships title, there still remains some sense of doubt as to what the squad can achieve. After this victory, earned after finally playing to their potential, La Furia Roja will enter the next set of World Cup qualifiers as heavy favorites. This is new territory for a side much maligned as chokers and collapse artists. Even if they do not pull the international double at the next World Cup, this side has put aside the collective knowledge of a dismal past to create their own history. This seemingly impossible task is one the Chicago Cubs anticipate replicating in their own corner of the sporting community.

Hope springs eternal.

Retrospecticus

This season ended trophy-less for Liverpool Football Club. The squad could not overcome some very average performances in the middle part of the season to keep their name in the tight race for the English Premier League title. The Champions League again provided unbelievable drama, as the Reds knocked out Arsenal in an all time classic, but were then dumped from the competition by Chelsea, in yet another semi-final corker between the Reds and Blues. Many have argued that the season was a disappointment because of the lack of silverware. It’s very difficult not to agree with this point. At a club where so much history revolves around triumph after triumph, the heightened expectations felt at the beginning of the campaign resulted in a feeling of failure because of the side's inability to add yet another title to the trophy case. But I am very much an apologist, so here is my list of tremendous achievements by everyone’s favorite Merseyside outfit.

Fernando Torres – The Kid proved himself more than deserving of the kind of dough LFC paid for his transfer from Atletico Madrid, his childhood team. What’s more, he proved he is the kind of player Kopites idolize as legends of this storied club. Torres broke record after record, both club records and national records. His name is now alongside the likes of Robbie Fowler, Ian Rush, Ian St. John, & Roger Hunt in the books of Liverpool F.C. for innumerable achievements such as consecutive home hat tricks, most EPL goals by a Liverpool striker, most consecutive home games with a goal, and one of the most impressive strike records in the books (essentially goals/game, he scored 33 goals in 47 games for the club in all competitions). In breaking so many of the club’s records, he also broke a very distinguished mark for the most goals by a foreign player in his debut season in the EPL. All of these impressive resume builders he achieved WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE PENALTY. Ruud van Nistelrooy held the old record of 23 goals in his first season in English football. Liverpool’s number nine scored 24, netting the final goal during the last match of the season. He’s showed incredible pace with tremendous ball control and an innate ability to bulge the onion bag when given even the slightest opportunity. Add to this his work rate for the team and his desire to play through some rather harsh treatment at the hands of opposition defenses (and the referees for that matter) and the adoration of all Reds supporters is completely justified. Here’s to an even better campaign next season, Nando. My favorite quote from the redandwhitekop.com contributors has to be, “Fernando Torres, turning kopites gay since 2007”.

Martin Skrtel – The main move made during the January transfer window for Rafa Benitez was the record signing (for a defender) of Slovak international Martin Skrtel. Skrtel confirmed the idea that understanding the language and a bedding in period were not prerequisites for success on the pitch. A very astute reader of the game and with speed to boot, Skrtel earned MOTM honors for multiple displays in his new Reds kit. He proved that he could easily match up against some of the best strikers in the world in Europe’s premier club competition (the UEFA Champions League). I am giddy over the idea of having a fit Daniel Agger and the Slovak towering in the Reds’ central defense next season, though it will take some time to get the two youngins well enough acquainted to each other to forego a vet in the back, like Big Sami or Carra. Still, with four centre halfs of this quality, I foresee fewer draws and more victories in tight games next season.

Ryan Babel – Our favorite flying Dutchman really impressed in his first season abroad. The former Ajax prodigy reached double digits in goals and showed a range of talent and strength that has everyone taking notice. Towards the end of the campaign, every team made damn sure there were at least two defenders to cover Babel from cutting inside or all the way to the endline. Unfortunately, a recent injury on international duty (torn ankle ligaments) means that his training regimen for the summer will have to be shelved until he regains full mobility without discomfort. A tremendous debut season in an unfamiliar position (left wing instead of close to the front) just begins to elucidate the potential the young Dutchman displays every time he sets foot on the pitch. Get well soon Ryan, we want you back ASAP so we can begin working on a song that could parallel the kind of excellence we’ve witnessed.

Sami Hyypia – In a season where the young Danish star, Daniel Agger, played only a handful of times due to recurring metatarsal injuries, the unbelievable performances of the aging Finn brought back memories of his time as the captain of LFC. Despite being “over-the-hill” in footy years, the big man made sure to remind Rafa that he’s still got some quality miles left in those older legs. Though a step or two slower than he once was, the veteran’s ability to read the game meant that he rarely let opposition strikers get a clear look at goal. This season further solidified his status as a legend alongside the likes of Alan Hansen, Ron Yeats and Mark Lawrenson. A status which is further explained by his offensive contributions in big matches, such as his quarterfinal header against Arsenal, which drew the Reds level at the time and started them on their way to a memorable victory.

Pepe Reina – Securing his third consecutive Golden Gloves award (for the most clean sheets in the Premier League) should have helped to get him within a shout of the starter’s job on Spain’s international squad. Even though Luis Aragones continues to pick him as the second choice for the international side, there’s no argument about the quality of Liverpool’s number one keeper. Pepe rightfully shares the Golden Gloves award with his squad, as he says the strength of the defense in front of him dictates the quantity and quality of the saves he needs to make. He became the quickest ‘keeper in Liverpool history to record 50 clean sheets (in only 92 games), surpassing Kop idol Ray Clemence’s old tally of 95 games to reach the milestone. Long may Pepe’s dominance between the posts (and under the bar) continue.

Javier Mascherano – Monster Masch has established himself as a core member of the spine of Liverpool Football Club. During the course of this campaign he displayed dogged determination, superb tackling, and a developing passing game just in front of the back four. He has quickly risen to a place alongside some of the best holding mids in the game, like Makelele or Gattuso. On top of all of this, Mascherano signed an extension, keeping him at LFC for, at the very least, four more years.

119 goals – For all those haters out there who claim that Liverpool FC are a boring team to watch, suck on that number. The Reds scored a phenomenal total of 119 goals in all competitions, the best total in England for the season. While I will most certainly concede that LFC are defensive minded, over-generalizing any side’s tendency makes you look like an ignorant fool. Yes, Liverpool do defend resolutely, because if you don’t concede, you can’t lose. However, when six players reach double digits in the goal column, there has to be a great deal of beautiful football being played all around the pitch. And for those who have not seen it, trust me, there is most certainly beautiful footy being played by the red half of Merseyside.

This concludes my first 6 months as footy correspondent. Thanks to everyone for their support and comments. I love this venture. Coming soon - the Teasipper goes Colonial: Totally uninformed and horribly biased views regarding America’s sporting landscape. I can sense you all waiting with bated breath.

Fuck Bret Michaels: This Rose has no thorns

My beloved Chicago Bulls were growing stranger and stranger to me by the minute this past year. We fired Scott Skiles before New Years Eve. We traded for Drew Gooden and Larry Hughes at the deadline. We made a late “surge” but failed to qualify for the play-in game (which the Hawks were clearly more prepared for). We lost the Mike D’Antoni bidding war to an organization that is currently undertaking a historically miserable run for a franchise in ANY sport. In fact, an hour before the lottery my fraternity brother and rare remaining true Bulls fan “Relatively Big Mike” Wagoner sent me a rundown of our odds with his take:

No. 1: 1.70%
No. 2: 2.00%
No. 3: 2.40%
No. 9: 81.34%
No. 10: 12.18%
No. 11: 0.38%
No. 12: 0.0024%

Back in the lottery. Sick.

I wrote back verbatim:

Dude, after we missed out on D'Antoni, I'm conviced we're gunna end up with Kosta Koufos and head back down the totem pole. I'm going to frame my "twirling towels" from Games 3 and 4 of last year's Conference Semis because it might be the last time we play in games that meaningful for a long time.

Sad clown tears,

AK

Needless to say, we’ve spent the better part of the evening trading Beasley vs. Rose emails. I haven’t been this excited since the moments leading up to Game 1 of the NLDS last fall.

So which way am I leaning? Well, here is the God’s honest truth. When they opened the envelope, my first reaction was, “Holy Shit, we CAN GET DERRICK ROSE”. My second thought was to call Wags and Dirty and scream nonsensical phrases in or around my phone. Once the initial madness had subsided, I thought, “I suppose we COULD get Michael Beasley since our frontcourt has been our Achilles heel for the past three seasons”. This is when I realized, this will be the second longest month of my basketball life (the first being the month directly following MJ's first retirement).

Benny can attest, I’ve got an unhealthy love for athletic point guards, scrambling quarterbacks in Madden and scrappy middle infielders with high OBPs. These aren't biases, but rather personal preferences.

Another factor: I’ve been watching and rooting for Derrick Rose since his days at Simeon HS in the Chicago Public League. They played his games on local (as well as national) TV and it looked like he was playing on fast forward while everyone else was set on regular speed. The kid was born to play basketball. He’s from the streets of Chicago. He’s tough. He’s a winner. I could go on-and-on referencing vague minutia that you already know, but lemme cite two games in particular that I watched last year which made me love Derrick Rose:

Memphis-Tennessee (Feb. 23rd)

9-16 from the field, 23 points, 5 rebounds, 5 assists, 4 steals.

I know Memphis lost this game (one of two all season) but Rose showed me a lot in his second half performance. Here’s the thing that stuck with me, he was the only Memphis Tiger out there at crunch time willing to take and make big shots. Check out this GameLog and scroll down to 9:05 left in the second half when Rose misses two free throws. He takes over that game and is the ONLY reason that game was even close down the stretch.

Memphis-Texas (March 30th)

7-10 from the field, 21 points, 6 rebounds, 9 assists, 2 turnovers.

It wasn’t so much the offensive production or passing that I appreciated about this performance, it was how he SHUT DOWN the consensus second best point guard in the country in D.J. Augustin. This was an Elite Eight game and Rose held him to 4-18 shooting, 3 assists and 4 turnovers. Augustin only had more turnovers than assists in 4 of their 38 previous games last season. It was truly a complete game for Derrick (we're on a first name basis in my mind).

Now, I understand that Michael Beasley is a tremendous player and will be a great professional. But the City of Chicago has been waiting for a moment like this, to take the unconventional wisdom (always take the big guy) and cram it. Gun to your head, a potential Deron Williams/Chris Paul or a likely Elton Brand. If you worry about things like “we already have a point guard” then you obviously are missing something vital. This is a lottery team for a reason. Shuffle the deck, move Duhon, move Hughes, acquire role players, court the high profile coaches still out there, make some bold choices. Derrick Rose surrounded by savvy front office moves is a recipe that could very well lead to an Eastern Conference Finals appearance before his rookie contract is up. I’m a homer, I’m a Chicagoan, I love the feel of this whole thing. It’s fate. I’m going to spend the next month flooding John Paxson’s inbox with pro-Rose statistics and impassioned emails from the heart. Michael Beasley isn’t Sam Bowie, but not drafting Derrick Rose for the character of the city looking forward to embracing him, could spell the same foul fate.

The Beautiful Art of the Sports Video Montage

If I lived in a world in which the pursuit of capital and the inch-by-inch, day-by-day grunt and crawl through the muck and filth of a white collar office job was not a requisite for maintaining the existence that has evolved over the course my life, there are three pursuits that would be my occupation. Yes, this is my Peter Gibbons moment. As Donny has already attested, skippering an inlet charter fishing boat and designing, constructing, and operating a 21-and-over natural grass miniature golf course have been dreams of ours for years, our light at the end of the tunnel and our Oz.

The last pursuit would be splicing and recording video montages of sports highlights set to music.

Now tell me, is there anything that can heighten our love of sports as much as a well-crafted video of meaningful athletic moments accompanied by just-the-right song? It can raise the hair on our bodies, transport our stomachs to our throats, moisten the corners of our eyes, and get our dander up on gameday.

What follows is a collection of videos of the most well-done video montages that I was able to find on YouTube for each of the major sports. Enjoy.

Soccer

This is a compilation of the top-50 goals ever scored. Set to a techno beat with a solo string instrument (a vibe that we've become used to on EA Sports' FIFA games), this is a rapid-fire compilation of some of the slickest touches that have filled the ol' onion bag. I'm especially interested to hear from Dirty his take on the order and any notable omissions. Here is a different top-50 video set to a faster beat, but slower in presentation.

Hockey

This is a surprisingly enjoyable compilation of the top-20 goals ever scored in hockey, which for several reasons doesn't get much attention anymore. Set to Fatboy Slim's "Right Here, Right Now" the fluiditiy of the clips nicely complement Mr. Cook's instrumentals.

Baseball

It appears that the fascists over at Major League Baseball have done a wonderful job of preventing people from uploading historical and contemporary highlights to the Internet because an hour of searches yieled nothing of substance. Thanks, Bud Selig, once again your masterful stewardship of America's pastime is without parallel. To compensate, here are some truly amazing amateur defensive web gems.

Basketball

Because it is professionally done and annually highlights the greatest moment of the greatest American tournament, the "One Shining Moment" video has to be the hands-down best basketball montage. The late, great Luther Vandross' voice has sung over this alternately slo-motion/real-time feature for more than 10 years and it always captures the pageantry, excitement, heartbreak, and triumph of March Madness. I was disconcerted to see a real dearth in quality NBA videos (either the wrong song or poor quality footage), but just over 3 minutes of Air can do anyone some good.

Football

NFL Films deserves much of the credit for originating and honing the video montage into a truly exceptional art. Though John Facenda's spoken, baritone backed powerfullyby horns, trumpets, and drums and poetically by string pieces, is representative of NFL history and lore, I've opted for this house/trance music punctuated by occassional piano solos in a video that highlights some of the greatest hits and runs in NFL history. It makes my loins quiver for training camp. Also, if the Packers would have played this video at halftime of the NFC Championship Game, I can almost guarantee that they wouldn't have lost.

BONUS

When I first saw this video in the first 3 hours of the new millenium, I staggered home to make sure that that my VHS taping of the "Sportscenter of the Century" was still recording. Capturing the most unforgettable visual impressions left by sports in the 1900s, I still make a point of watching it every few months. Professionally done, the song choice of Aerosmith's "Dream On" is absolutely perfect. This is the ideal of the sports video montage.