All-Star Break(down)

Ben and I had our yearly Homerun Derby draft last night on the phone. It makes it much more interesting if you have rooting interests, otherwise (barring astonishing performances like Bobby Abreu parking 41 or Sammy Sosa swinging and missing multiple times on BP fastballs) there is very little drama to the contest. The combatants this year are Pujols, Howard, Fielder, Guerrero, Rios, Morneau and Ordonez. Every year I always over-compensate on considerations like park dimensions, homerun derby history and previous months stats (to determine how they're grooving the ball). It would seem like having such a short porch in right field at SBC Park would automatically favor the left handed hitters (those being Morneau, Howard and Fielder). Howard also won last year and he's not playing in the All-Star game so it would seem like he's got the most mojo and focus going into this thing. After weighing everything carefully, calibrating my measurements and combing through splits... I decided to just draft whoever I thought was due.

1st pick (Ben): Howard
2nd pick (Me): Pujols
3rd pick (Ben): Fielder
4th pick (Me): Ordonez
5th pick (Ben): Rios
6th pick (Me): Guerrero
Justin Morneau was immediately designated for assignment. A Canadian already wins our NBA MVP awards, no sense encouraging them any further.

Ben notified me afterwards that Howard and Fielder will be one-two. I love this because it's a classic Ben move. Sometimes he won't even wait until a fantasy draft is over to announce that he has drafted the best team and should win the league easily. When you ask him to elaborate, he merely adds, "By at least ten games".

Random Thoughts

Eric Patterson (Yep, little brother to Corey) hit a dramatic walk-off single in the bottom of the 9th for the AAA Iowa Cubs this past weekend. What made this story interesting was the fact that he was being intentionally walked at the time. The first thing I thought (considering his genetic propensity to swing at balls out of the zone) was that there is no ball too far from the plate for a Patterson's liking. I later found out that the pitcher was serving up the free pass somewhat casually and left a meatball on the outside corner that Eric alertly swung and connected with for an easy game winner. For hard as it must have been for Billy Ripken to play in his big brother Cal's shadow in the same organization, it must oppositely be just as hard for Eric Patterson (as gifted as he is) to ascend through the Cubs farm system.

Adam LaRoche's introduction music before he steps into the batters box at home is Joe Esposito's classic "You're the Best! Around! Nothing's ever gunna keep you down!". I'm not sure how this will be received, but next time I play softball I'm bringing a boombox and playing this every time I confidently stride to the plate. My batting average will be at least .600 and I'm calling my shot at least once during the proceedings.

The Cubs and Brewers are going into the All-Star break separated by only 4.5 games atop the NL Central. I have a feeling like my day-to-day moods for the next few months will be directly tied to this number. The NL Central "games back" stat is now officially my own personal Terror Alert notification protocol. You won't necessarily be able to tell the difference in my demeanor on a daily basis, but there will be a system in place... and red is bad. Red means the Cardinals passed us.


Cubs highs and lows-
Unsung hero: Mark DeRosa. He's played 1B, 2B, 3B, RF and hasn't complained at all. His OPS is .817 and he's batting .364 with RISP. Along with Fontenot and Theriot, I like us up the middle for the next couple of years. No fake.
Goat: Scotty Eyre. 30 IP, 6.60 ERA, 2.13 WHIP , 21 BB, $4 Million. This assclown is dead to me.

Ichiro Suzuki had my favorite quote so far this year (as borrowed from Jayson Stark's excellent ESPN article): On the prospect of meeting his countryman, Daisuke Matsuzaka, for the first time in MLB, "I hope he arouses the fire that's dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul. I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger."

If Bob Brenley fills the Cincinnati Reds vacant managerial position and Steve Stone comes back to the Cubs booth to do color, I'll never ask for anything again. Ever.