Prior to this, I was a nasty pitcher

Featured Comment on ESPN.com at 10:50 EST on December 26th:

"Steal of the modern era… Prior will bounce back this season"
~Rhymeister

Let’s settle down a little, sound like a plan? When "the next Tom Seaver" signs a one year deal at the age of 27 with his hometown team for a base salary of one million dollars, it’s time to reevaluate just how great this individual is. Trust me, I understand how all the elements of this equation seem to add up for optimistic Padres fans. Pitchers park, native son, redemption possibilities, bad Cubbies karma, etc, etc, etc… I also understand how breathtakingly amazing his 2003 campaign was for all the right reasons. He could locate pitches inside and out while changing speeds with ease. He had good velocity as well as tremendous late action on his breaking balls. He could throw basically any pitch in any count for a strike. These are all prime reasons why we (as Cubs fans) held onto this Mark Prior ideal, we felt like the injuries were merely a stop-over before monumental greatness. However (the freak broken arm from a comebacker to the mound notwithstanding) the injuries are a part the Prior package. He’s had the exploratory surgeries with no bonafide results, which raises suspicions that his physical troubles reside more between his ears than anything else. The phrase “genetic looseness” has been used to describe his elbow, which is either insane or idiotic as a wide-ranging cause for his reoccurring IR stints. He missed all of last season rehabbing from shoulder surgery which is historically the most damning affliction possible for starting pitchers. Am I saying that Mark Prior is soft? Not really. I do, however, think he’s not only injury prone, but prone to mental self-sabotage. I think his desire to overcome and understand his physical roadblocks don’t keep him up at night. I think he lacks the fortitude to be a consistent All-Star on a competitive team. I swear I’m not just being bitter here, I honestly believe this.

So why does Kerry Wood get a pass? Well, he’s expressed his frustrations with his injury history through the media and in his actions. He renegotiated his existing contract to take a hometown discount which he was under no obligation to do. He accepted his role as a set-up man with an eager willingness to rejoin the Cubs and help them win. Prior has been on the shelf for the majority of the last two years with a puss on, collecting fat checks and moaning about the training staff. Perhaps there is some validity to those claims, or perhaps the redonkulous strain placed on him in 2003 by Dusty Baker (Go Reds!) really did majorly effect his health. That’s neither here nor there. I’ve followed him with rapt attention since his breakout year and he’s nothing but an excuse machine with a looming upside that never materializes. Plugging the name Mark Prior into your 2004 fantasy baseball roster before the season started probably gave you a big rubbery one (Benny can attest to that), but holding on to that one season is a futile affair.

Will he have a decent year with San Diego? It’s entirely possible. I could see him pitching somewhere in the range of 120 innings with a 4+ ERA and a whiff of 10 wins. But unless Rhymeister has fashioned some sort of portal back to an era when Hey Ya! and The O.C. were at the height of their popularity, the steal of the modern era will continue to remain Big Papi.

I’m just sayin…

The Bowler and Benny Greatest Hits: 2007 Edition

It's been six weeks since Ben or I have posted something. The two of us have been fairly busy over the past month, but to be strictly honest our (already woefully inaccurate) NBA preview took it out of us. We just needed a respite in the grand scheme of things. For some, the absence of a B&B original has lasted far too long. For others, this hiatus has served as a great opportunity to waste time on other websites such as cracked.com or this gameboy emulator site. However, for many, the fact that we haven't written anything in weeks has had completely no effect whatsoever. To be fair, we don't much mind that last demographic because we started this blog almost a year ago as a platform for two college buddies to entertain each other... and using that standard, I think it's been a resounding success. Before the advent of this site we'd toil away on our fantasy sports message board churning out the only impassioned and witty smacktalk in the league. On the phone, we'd do our best to fit all the current sports minutia into fifteen minute calls at (the proverbial) halftime during our weekend. While these tactics still exist in a largely reduced role, this blog has served as a wonderful outlet for our collective need to experience sports with equal parts humor and awe.

With that being said, I'd like to thank Ben for agreeing to indulge me in this venture. It's worthwhile because you're on board and I owe you for all the belly laughs you have provided with your roundly appealing and enigmatic banter. You truly are the Alan Arkin to my Peter Falk (I could have gone with Dennis Miller and Norm McDonald, but I thought that would piss you off).

I'd also like to thank TK (my brother) for being such a supportive reader and our most consistent and thoughtful "Comment Hawk". In accordance with that designation I just made up, Ben and I owe you a Andre Dawson-style Salami greeting next time we see you... and even if he's a Cubs fan - and TK is most certainly that. Quite possibly the biggest Cubs fan in all of San Francisco County, which would place him high in the runnin' for biggest Cub's fan worldwide. Sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man....


Speaking of which, Kosuke Fukudome is a Chicago Cub!!! He's basically all I've heard about for the last month and I'm so completely excited about this signing because of the unknown factor. He’s a cross between Ichiro and Hideki Matsui!!! Wait, he's a cross between Ichiro and Eric Brynes!!! Holy crap!!! I'm much too much of a pragmatist to fall for any of this, but he does stack up quite well to other Japanese exports who’ve come to the Majors. UmpBump did an excellent job breaking his game down, so I'll let them handle the details. However, I will say this. Some people are already questioning the amount spent (4 year, $48 million) on a corner outfielder who has never played in MLB, recently had elbow surgery and turns 31 next year. These points all presuppose that the Cubs scouting staff hasn't kicked his tires and done the appropriate leg work. I find that highly unlikely. Cubs fans know that they've been coveting Fukudome for a couple years now, all the while keeping close tabs on him until his contract with the Chunichi Dragons was up. Also, he fits PERFECTLY into this Cubs team. I'm not saying he's the final puzzle piece, but having a versatile left-handed bat with a gaudy OBP that can field AND throw is exactly what we missed. Our corner outfielders will be throwing frozen ropes all around Wrigley for the next handful of years and our centerfielder (Felix Pie) has tremendous speed and an affinity for making sensational catches appear routine. D Lee plays a gold glove caliber first base while Ramirez is much improved at the hot corner. Giovanni Soto showed some tremendous ability (both swinging from and catching behind the plate) towards the end of last year in big games. Theriot, DeRosa and (knock on wood) Brian Roberts would make this not only one of the best fielding teams in the National League, but also one of the premier hitting lineups top-to-bottom. I just reread that last paragraph and it becomes painfully obvious that the Bears are 5-8 and the Bulls are 7-13 right now.


Alright, with the year winding down to a close, I’m going to provide my Top Five favorite posts from Bowler and Benny over the past year:

Honorable Mention
Ben’s reaction to ESPN’s coverage of the Home Run Derby

I liked this piece because it reminded me of simpler times. I recall waking up every morning at 6:45am during grade school because Sportscenter started at 7am. What makes this all the more impressive is that classes didn't start until 8:55am and I lived a ten minute walk from school. People sometimes forget just how wonderfully addicting ESPN was during the "glory days". I'd attentively watch as Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick wove magic with those highlights while I ate my Life cereal. Now I'm forced to suffer through Trey Wingo and Linda Cohn (sometimes in hi-def *yikes*) attempting to work Hannah Montana jokes into WNBA clips. Kill yourself.

5) My farewell to Mr. Thomas Jones

If you're asking me if I ever get tired of being right, the answer is... Absolutely I do.

4) Ben’s trip to the Packers/Giants game this year

As bad as this sounds coming from a Bears fan, I'm a huge Brett Favre guy. I've been converted because whenever Ben speaks about him, I understand that it's bigger than team affiliations or rivalries. I can hear a little of myself extolling the virtues of Michael Jeffery Jordan in his wildly glowing soliloquies. I still remember that day in January 2002 when the Bears and Packers both fell in the conference semis. Favre threw six interceptions and they lost to the (then great) Rams. We watched our games separately and then reconvened at our apartment and traded solemn, yet knowing nods of mutual defeat. I'll never forget it because Ben wasn't mad, he was just disappointed because he knew the greatness was there. Everyone has that ONE GUY from their childhood that will always be the truest of sports heroes. My dad had Brooks Robinson, my brother has Ryne Sandberg and Benny... has Brett Favre.

3) My brush with Greatness (personified by Tiger Woods)

I'll always remember the '89 Cubs season. I'll always remember those Knicks vs. Bulls playoff series in the early 90's. I'll always remember the 2006 Bears and what they did for the city of Chicago. Congruently, I'll always remember seeing Tiger Woods in person, methodically calibrating his game and staring down a golf course that he would destroy over the next four days. These are things that never leave you.

2) A Cubbie afternoon in late June

I've done running diaries of both Bears and Bulls games, but never at a Cubbies game. This was my first run at it and I was extremely pleased with the way things turned out. I can still recall how ominous the sky was that day and how, now in the middle of winter, just how wonderful those long days felt. The sun is setting at 4:13pm today and Wrigley Field is just a big building that I have to walk around to get to Clark street. March can't come soon enough.

1) TIE

Athletes and Hip-Hop: Why Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should

and

When doing what I want goes wrong

Easily the funniest thing we've done all year. I understand that making fun of athletes "performing" hip-hop is like shooting fish in a barrel, but that doesn't make it any less amusing. If you have yet to peruse these "10 worst" videos, please do so right now and thank us later...